Issue 187 礼节典礼与文化。48小时内必回拍！

coweiliangUID: 195905

Issue 187
题目：“Rituals and ceremonies help to define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are.”

提纲：1.rituals and ceremonies 的确是文化的重要方面， 有很多历史沉淀。
2。即使消失了还有很多其他的方面表现文化的独特性，不至于迷失。
3。这些rituals and ceremonies实际起源是迷信或宗教的因素。
Talking about rituals and ceremonies, many people will not hesitate to consider them as an important cultural characteristic of a group, a people or a nation. Nevertheless, while acceding that ceremonies and rituals are of great importance to define a culture, we should not lose sight of its disadvantages and other existing means to retain cultural identity.

The rationale of the speaker’s assertion in the statement seems to lie in the fact that rituals and ceremonies have formed a part of culture for tens of thousands of years. It is true that over the long span of period, they have distinguished the uniqueness of one nation or people distinct from another. For example, a Chinese wedding ceremony, totally different from a western one, is an indirect reflection of people’s different attitudes towards marriage and sex. Tibetans are still clinging tenaciously to their traditions, adding to the mysterious cultural background of the people. The Japanese tea ceremony was frequently held as a ritual of hospitality at the arrival of a guest. On the international stage, people are proud of their unique heritage from their ancestors. To some extent, rituals and ceremonies also reveal people’s psychological and social inclination. The traditions on Chinese Spring Festival bare the emphasis on family reunion. On that day, the most important festival, all Chinese in different places of the world are bound together, and have a strong sense of ethnocentrism. In other words, a nation or a people without its own ceremonies or rituals might be in the risk of assimilation and loss of identity.

However, it might be overestimating the function of ceremonies and rituals by considering them as the only means of preserving the identification of a culture. Firstly, the term “culture” includes more respects, showing through the common attitudes, habits, languages, and so on. For instance, Chinese still demonstrate their identities through their dietary habits; the minorities, like Tibetan, remain their cultural identities by their own less-known languages and style of clothing. These are also elements that evoke a sense of reflection on cultural and historical issues. On the one hand, the rapid pace towards globalization and civilazation in various countries inherently cause those rituals and ceremonies that waste a lot of time and energy to be doubtlessly outdated. It is now impossible for Chinese parents to request the families to come back home and have diner together everyday. People begin to realize that it is only a matter of superficial form of daily routine, while actually there are a lot more important things for them to deal with. By communicating with the outside world, many minorities, who are formerly isolated in disadvantaged areas, abandon some traditional but trifling and meaningless rituals to sustain a good harvest or harmonious family. Instead, they turn to rely on scientific methods to deal with problems.  

Moreover, the exact origin of ceremonies and rituals are much closely related to suspicion and religious beliefs, since the ancient people do not have sufficient knowledge to explain the physical world. As science and technology develop, it is unnecessary and even ridiculous, to maintain these customs. How would people feel if they see a woman jumping and sluring in front of the public, while entitling herself prophetess of the fate?

In conclusion, rituals and ceremonies are significant heritage from our fathers and forefathers; they are components of our history and culture. However, some of them might not fit the requirement of development in the modern society. At the same time, there are many other manifestations of cultural identities that society and groups of people can still retain their characteristics.

youifUID: 200073

1 我认为2nd paragragh has two  topics_ other parts of culture, and  the  rituals or other forms to abandon.
  it is better to make them in  2  paragraphs.
2 where is discussed the disadvantages?
3
they turn to scientific-- 去掉 rely

nora0020UID: 104886

占位，明天狠拍

coweiliangUID: 195905

where is discussed the disadvantages?

嗯，指的是哪里？？
呵呵期待你的拍转nora0020。

nora0020UID: 104886

Issue 187
题目：“Rituals and ceremonies help to define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are.”

提纲：1.rituals and ceremonies 的确是文化的重要方面， 有很多历史沉淀。
2。即使消失了还有很多其他的方面表现文化的独特性，不至于迷失。
3。这些rituals and ceremonies实际起源是迷信或宗教的因素。
Talking about rituals and ceremonies, many people will not hesitate to consider them as an important cultural characteristic of a group, a people or a nation. Nevertheless, while acceding that ceremonies and rituals are of great importance to define a culture, we should not lose sight of its disadvantages and other existing means to retain cultural identity. 开头有点罗嗦，还不是很简练，尤其第一句

The rationale新词！ of the speaker’s assertion in the statement seems to lie in the fact that rituals and ceremonies have formed a part of culture for tens of thousands of years. It is true that over the long span of period, they have distinguished the uniqueness of one nation or people distinct from another. For example, a Chinese wedding ceremony, totally different from a western one, is an indirect reflection of people’s different attitudes towards marriage and sex. Tibetans are still clinging tenaciously to their traditions, adding to the mysterious cultural background of the people. The Japanese tea ceremony was frequently held as a ritual of hospitality at the arrival of a guest. On the international stage, people are proud of their unique heritage from their ancestors. To some extent, rituals and ceremonies also reveal people’s psychological and social inclination. The traditions on Chinese Spring Festival bare the emphasis on family reunion. On that day, the most important festival, all Chinese in different places of the world are bound together, and have a strong sense of ethnocentrism. In other words, a nation or a people without its own ceremonies or rituals might be in the risk of assimilation and loss of identity. 唯一的感觉例子好多啊！有点像是在罗列例子，其实写这么多在考场上也不太可能吧

However, it might be overestimating the function of ceremonies and rituals by considering them as the only means of preserving the identification of a culture. Firstly, the term “culture” includes more respects, showing through the common attitudes, habits, languages, and so on. For instance, Chinese still demonstrate their identities through their dietary habits; the minorities, like Tibetan, remain their cultural identities by their own less-known languages and style of clothing. These are also elements that evoke a sense of reflection on cultural and historical issues. On the one hand应该不只说一点的样子，后面怎么没有, the rapid pace towards globalization and civilazation civilizationin various countries inherently cause those rituals and ceremonies that waste a lot of time and energy to be doubtlessly outdated. It is now impossible for Chinese parents to request the families to come back home and have diner together everyday. People begin to realize that it is only a matter of superficial form of daily routine, while actually there are a lot more important things for them to deal with. By communicating with the outside world, many minorities, who are formerly isolated in disadvantaged areas, abandon some traditional but trifling and meaningless rituals to sustain a good harvest or harmonious family. Instead, they turn to rely on scientific methods to deal with problems. 感觉这段有点没扣上题，可能是写得时候思路不是很清楚吧，有点东一块，西一块的感觉

Moreover, the exact origin of ceremonies and rituals are much closely related to suspicion and religious beliefs, since the ancient people do not have sufficient knowledge to explain the physical world. As science and technology develop, it is unnecessary and even ridiculous, to maintain these customs. How would people feel if they see a woman jumping and sluring ？？？in front of the public, while entitling herself prophetess of the fate? 与上两段相比这段就比较单薄了，其实我认为反应你的中心的两段应该丰满点

In conclusion, rituals and ceremonies are significant heritage from our fathers and forefathers; they are components of our history and culture. However, some of them might not fit the requirement of development in the modern society. At the same time, there are many other manifestations of cultural identities that society and groups of people can still retain their characteristics. 结尾还不错
总的来看，语言非常好，结构上还需要再改一改。
不好意思，这几天忙着写A的题目，I也没写，砖也没砸，希望还不是很晚。
我想把我的提纲附在后面，不知道可不可以？

coweiliangUID: 195905

谢谢给我改的文章，你们两位都给我指出好多问题，恩，很受用！
to nora0020:好啊，粘上来互相学习啊。时间紧凑了，加油哦！ :D

nora0020UID: 104886

我的提纲：
B1：culture是先于R和ceremories 而存在的，他们只是表达文化的一个形式
B2：文化经过历史的锤炼已渗透到人们的日常生活中（行为举止），即使没有R和ceremories 也不会diminished。例：语言，口音，本地人到外地感受到的明显差异就是文化差异的反应
B3：当然R与ceremories 可以更清晰的表现文化，使外地人更好的认识本地文化，及其深层次的含义

coweiliangUID: 195905

我觉得你可能第一个分论点会比较难写，毕竟这个话题很有深度哦！