ISSUE 10 同主题 急盼砖啊!!

sxleeUID: 200505

ISSUE 10 同主题
-----------简介-----------
作者：sxlee      50mins   594ws
-----------题目----------
10"Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated."
-----------正文-----------
The speaker's assertion is actually twofold: (1) that governments must give their major cities financial support in order to let them thrive; (2) and that the reason is that a nation's cultural traditions are primarily preserved and generated in the major cities. While I concede that the two claims have merits only in that it recognizes the need to ensure the survival of cultural traditions, I totally disagree with this dual claim for the following reasons.

As for the speaker's first contention, I think that it is not the proper role of government to support their major cities in terms of finance. The first reason for my contention lies in the problem that how to determine which kind of cultural tradition should the government give support. By lefting this decision to those administers and legislators, who will bear their quirky notions on the decision, we risk of generating unfairness among all those sorts of cultures. What is more, by doing so, we tend to destroy the healthy development of those types cultures supported since in order to get support their development may cater to the administers interests.

In addition, given that the cultural traditions need supports, giving them only financial supports is far form enough. Since some kinds of cultures are accessible only to a relatively small number of people and hardly can survive without public support by and voluntary means, the financial support only can ensure them a short-term survival rather than a sustainable development. Therefore, what need the most is not money but rather the public concern. Only by making more and more people to know and get interested in those kinds of cultures--by means of televising them or developing travel industry--can we give them a meaningful and lasting development.

With respect to the speaker's second claim, I strongly disagree that it is a nation's major city where its cultural traditions are generated and preserved. I may admit that in the past, the major cities of a nation always serve as the most important breeding places and thriving places. But today's increasingly rapid globalization has rendered almost the major cities of any nation less and less typical of their unique cultures. In other words, this trend make those major cities multi-cultural and are no longer the places where you can appreciate a nation's cultural traditions. Take American as an example, as we all know that its major has become a melt pot of all kinds of different cultures brought by numerous immigrants.

Actually, nowadays, a nation's distinct cultural traditions--its customs, ceremonies, folk art, craft, and traditional songs--burgeon instead in the all those rural areas. Due to the lack of those international influence like the major cities has been forced on, the rural areas preserve a nation's traditions in almost their original ways. For example, the country music in numerous rural areas, though get known to a much less number of people, actually display the very precious traditions, which are of vital importance for a country to maintain its diverse cultures. In addition, those areas are always in a poor state, which make them different to survive. Therefore the support--not only in means of financial support--should be given to the rural areas.

In conclusion, we should strive to ensure all those cultural traditions survive, not only by financial support but also by other voluntary and fair ways--making public realize them and appreciate them. However, it is not through giving major cities financial that we can serve these ends, but rather through supporting those rural areas.

sxleeUID: 200505

怎么没人拍啊，先谢了！！

深谷幽兰UID: 196550

最初由 sxlee 发布
[B]怎么没人拍啊，先谢了！！ [/B]

占座学习，明天拍。

Mars3000UID: 198477

10"Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated."
-----------正文-----------
The speaker's assertion is actually twofold: (1) that governments must give their major cities financial support in order to let them thrive; (2) and that the reason is that a nation's cultural traditions are primarily preserved and generated in the major cities. While I concede that the two claims have merits only in that it recognizes the need to ensure the survival of cultural traditions, I totally disagree with this dual claim for the following reasons.呵呵，整个一阿狗的开头就差没提作者的假设和论据了

As for the speaker's first contention, I think that it is not the proper role of government to support their major cities in terms of finance. The first reason for my contention lies in the problem 〈that〉 how to determine which kind of cultural tradition should the government give support. By 〈lefting〉 this decision to those administers and legislators, who will bear their quirky notions on the decision, we risk of generating unfairness among all those sorts of cultures. What is more, by doing so, we tend to destroy the healthy development of those types cultures supported since in order to get support their development may cater to the administers interests.这里想要指出的是你的论点是进行财政资助这不是政府的职责，但从你的论证来看却并非针对财政，给人的感觉是政府本就不应该出面，因为其他方面的支持也存在这些问题

In addition, given that the cultural traditions need supports, giving them only financial supports is far form 〈enough〉being enough. Since some kinds of cultures are accessible only to a relatively small number of people and hardly can survive without public support by and voluntary means, the financial support only can ensure them a short-term survival rather than a sustainable development. Therefore, what need the most is not money but rather the public concern. Only by making more and more people <to> know and get interested in those kinds of cultures--by means of televising them or developing travel industry--can we give them a meaningful and lasting development.这里谈一点个人体会：如果从严格的逻辑意义上说Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive这句话是没有问题的——因为从这句话理解财政支持只是维系文化传统的必要条件，作者并未说它是个只要---就--的充分条件。你说的不错，但批驳的不是作者的漏洞

With respect to the speaker's second claim, I strongly disagree that it is a nation's major city where its cultural traditions are generated and preserved. I may admit that in the past, the major cities of a nation always serve as the most important breeding places and thriving places. But today's increasingly rapid globalization has rendered almost the major cities of any nation less and less typical of their unique cultures. In other words, this trend make those major cities multi-cultural and 〈are〉 no longer the places where you can appreciate a nation's cultural traditions. Take American as an example, as we all know that its major cities has become a <melt pot?>不知这么表达有问题否？ of all kinds of different cultures brought by numerous immigrants.这个比喻相当精彩，可惜就此搁笔了，如果做进一步的解释与论证效果就会不同凡响了

Actually, nowadays, a nation's distinct cultural traditions--its customs, ceremonies, folk art, craft, and traditional songs--burgeon instead in the all those rural areas. Due to the lack of those international 〈influence〉 like the major cities has been forced on,似乎语法上有问题 the rural areas preserve a nation's traditions in almost their original ways. For example, the country music in numerous rural areas, though 〈get〉 known to a much less number of people, actually display the very precious traditions, which are of vital importance for a country to maintain its diverse cultures. In addition, those areas are always in a poor state, which make them 〈different> different?to survive. Therefore the support--not only in means of financial support单词重复--should be given to the rural areas.

In conclusion, we should strive to ensure all those cultural traditions survive, not only by financial support but also by other voluntary and fair ways--making public realize them and appreciate them. However, it is not through giving major cities <financial> that we can serve these ends, but rather through supporting those rural areas.

总体上感觉论证比较流畅，在语言上也显示出一定的功底
但在论证形式上采取了阿狗的方式，虽然兄台写的是一篇驳论文，但不只是否合适。
还有在论证过程中，说理较多，事例支持较少。
兄台的论证较之别人有所不同，在拜读大作的过程中受到了一些启发，这里表示感谢。

深谷幽兰UID: 196550

10"Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated."

-----------正文-----------
The speaker's assertion is actually twofold: (1) that governments must give their major cities financial support in order to let them thrive; (2) and that the reason is that a nation's cultural traditions are primarily preserved and generated in the major cities. While I concede that the two claims have merits only in that it recognizes the need to ensure the survival of cultural traditions, I totally disagree with this dual claim for the following reasons. 看来这种开头是你的风格呢！ISSUE30也是这种开头 ;)换个方式练习一下吧

As for the speaker's first contention, I think that it is not the proper role of government to support 支持与确保ensure还是有差别的吧，偶觉得，或多或少是要支持的，但不见得是ensure，钱多得没地方花，也要给点major cities的 ;) their major cities in terms of finance. The first reason for my contention lies in the problem that how to determine which kind of cultural tradition should the government give support. By lefting this decision to those administers and legislators, who will bear their quirky notions on the decision, we risk of generating unfairness among all those sorts of cultures. What is more, by doing so, we tend to destroy the healthy development of those types cultures supported since in order to get support their development may cater to the administers interests.

In addition, given that the cultural traditions need supports, giving them only financial supports is far form enough. Since some kinds of cultures are accessible only to a relatively small number of people and hardly can survive without public support by and voluntary means, the financial support only can ensure them a short-term survival rather than a sustainable development. Therefore, what need the most is not money but rather the public concern. Only by making more and more people to know and get interested in those kinds of cultures--by means of televising them or developing travel industry--can we give them a meaningful and lasting development.做这些事也是要钱的呢，说服力还要加强！

With respect to the speaker's second claim, I strongly disagree that it is a nation's major city where its cultural traditions are generated and preserved. I may admit that in the past, the major cities of a nation always serve as the most important breeding places and thriving places. But today's increasingly rapid globalization has rendered almost the major cities of any nation less and less typical of their unique cultures. In other words, this trend make those major cities multi-cultural and are no longer the places where you can appreciate a nation's cultural traditions. Take American as an example, as we all know that its major has become a melt pot of all kinds of different cultures brought by numerous immigrants.同意楼上的意见还要进一步论述。另外，可不可以这么说，USA的主要城市是generate文化的，melt pot 就是它的文化特色。

Actually, nowadays, a nation's distinct cultural traditions--its customs, ceremonies, folk art, craft, and traditional songs--burgeon instead in the all those rural areas. Due to the lack of those international influence like the major cities has been forced on, the rural areas preserve a nation's traditions in almost their original ways. For example, the country music in numerous rural areas, though get known to a much less number of people, actually display the very precious traditions, which are of vital importance for a country to maintain its diverse cultures. In addition, those areas are always in a poor state, which make them different to survive. Therefore the support--not only in means of financial support--should be given to the rural areas.

In conclusion, we should strive to ensure all those cultural traditions survive, not only by financial support but also by other voluntary and fair ways--making public realize them and appreciate them. However, it is not through giving major cities financial that we can serve these ends, but rather through supporting those rural areas.

虽然语言还可以，但偶觉得论述的还不够清楚，对题目的理解是不是不够全面呀？或是偶理解错了。 :( 例子少或较少展开说明。基本上是在限时内写，能写这么多，8错！加油！！！

sxleeUID: 200505

感谢 Mars3000和兰小姐的砖头啊！！

本人逻辑性不强，论证不够啊！！听取两位的建议，我回努力的！！

加油！！

兰小姐快考了，祝你一切顺利啊！！