issue51j教育该照顾个性 自己改过, 迎砖 4.5北京

youifUID: 200073

Issue51: 366 words  40 minutes  April 2nd from 11:10
Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.
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Nowadays, the word education has come to be one of the pop words in our day-to-day life. Then is education effective only when the individual needs and interests of each student are focused on? As far as I am concerned, I agree with the speaker insomuch as education should pay attention to individuals, yet, the speaker overlooks the drawbacks of entire devotion to individual needs and interests of each student.

30Adimittedly, it is primary concern for education to serve the students' needs and interests. As is universal acknowledged, students are the most vital parts of a college or a school, the main centers in which one gets education. If education is not designed to meet individual needs and interests of students, what is college or school able to do? If a school concentrates not on students learning but on playing games only, how could it gain support from society or from parents? Actually, education is to educate students, to serve for students, satisfying their interests and needs.
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However, the drawbacks of completely deference to students’ needs or interests might not benefit but rather pose potential harm to the development of students. (it is completely unnecessary for education to design specifically to meet individual needs and interests of each students.删掉) Above all, most students are at a stage of development and many of their ideas are not practical or even ridiculous. Some student, for example, might love literature very much while completely dislikes mathematics, and he or she intends to study literature only but learn nothing about mathematics. Then should education agrees with such student to design curriculum full of literature without any math for him her. Obviously, math helps to cultivate one's logical thinking while literature concentrate on imagination. If education is completely designed to meet the needs and interests of each student, the students, without basic ability in logics, may be probably unable to success in market competition in what they own is just one side of knowledge.

Furthermore, not only to students themselves, specifically considering the needs and interests of each student might pose threats for society. If a student is allowed in education to be interested only in biological weapon making but pays little attention to moral education, he might come to be a victim with high-tech knowledge who may be employed by terrorists, thus posing great threat to the whole society. Those so-called scientists working in northeast of china spared large energy and interests in studying biological weapon on live human during the World War Two is nothing that can be ignored, especially the Chinese People. Though equipped with deep knowledge, those so-called scientists lacked the morality, even not cherished with the basic ethics. No wonder this is mainly the results of Japan’s military education. / 补了个例子也感觉不能支持观点

To sum up/
To sum up, education should primarily serve students in cultivating their characteristics and offering knowledge to students. However, completely submitting to each one's needs or interests, such strategy will be harmful for students to compete in future job life, worse more, possibly pose threats for society.
又没例子. 感觉不好找

nora0020UID: 104886

占座先，快考了，加油啊

sxleeUID: 200505

Nowadays, the word education has come to be one of the pop words in our day-to-day life. Then is education effective only when the individual needs and interests of each student are focused on? As far as I am concerned, I agree with the speaker insomuch是不是 insofar,每见过这个，请教 as education should pay attention to individuals, yet, the speaker overlooks the drawbacks of entireundue好些吧 devotion to individual needs and interests of each student.开头简洁明了，学习ing…

Adimittedly, it is 是不是要用theprimary concern for 应该是of, 是说education的concern,而不是说concern education education to serve the students' needs and interests. As is universal acknowledged, students are the most vital parts of a college or a school, the main centers in which one gets education好句子. If education is not designed to meet individual needs and interests of students, what is college or school able to do? If a school concentrates not on students learning but on playing games only, how could it gain support from society or from parents? Actually, the purpose ofeducation is to educate students, to serve for students, satisfyingto satisfy their interests and needs.并列是不是这样好？虚拟语气If后用过去时吧
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However, the drawbacks of completely deference to students’ needs or interests might not benefit but rather pose potential harm to the development of students. (it is completely unnecessary for education to design specifically to meet individual needs and interests of each students.删掉) Above all, most students are at a stage of development and many of their ideas are not practical or even ridiculous. Some students, for example, might love literature very much while completely dislikedislike mathematics, and he or she intends to study literature only but learn nothing about mathematics. Then should education agrees with such student to design curriculum full of literature without any math for him orher. Obviously, math helps to cultivate one's logical thinking while literature concentrates on imagination. If education iswas completely designed to meet the needs and interests of each student, the students, without basic ability in logics, may be probably unable to success这是名词，改为succeed in market competition in what they own is just one side of knowledge.

Furthermore, not only to students themselves, specifically considering the needs and interests of each student might pose threats for society.不通啊 If a student is allowed in education to be interested only in biological weapon making but pays little attention to moral education, he might come to be a victim with high-tech knowledge who may be employed by terrorists, thus posing great threat to the whole society. Those so-called scientists working in northeast of china spared large energy and interests in studying biological weapon on live human during the World War Two is nothing that can be ignored, especially the Chinese People. Though equipped with deep knowledge, those so-called scientists lacked the morality, even not cherished with the basic ethics. No wonder this is mainly the results of Japan’s military education. / 补了个例子也感觉不能支持观点

To sum up/
To sum up, education should primarily serve students in cultivating their characteristics and offering knowledge to studentsthem. However, completely submitting to each everyone's needs or interests不完整啊，可把后面句子的such strategy去掉，变为一句, such strategy will be harmful for students to compete in future job life不可这么说吧, worsewhat is more, possibly pose threats for society.
又没例子. 感觉不好找
你要考了，不知我改的有没用，水平有限啊！
总的来说，结构还可以，但是有些句子好象是故意加长的，所以变的不通顺了。建议宁可用简单句，也不要冒险去用不把握的长句子！祝你考试顺利！考完拍我啊！！

youifUID: 200073

多谢多谢