Issue7 同主题，第一遍写得不满意，第二遍还是差强人意。哎！

staralwaysUID: 193479

When seeing the scene that an old couple sitting side by side, under the shower of the sunset, many will have an impulse to record this scene which is generally regarded as the most beautiful one, showing love and humanity of the human race. But how? By writing down some rough description? Unfortunately, we need a more powerful way. And there is, say, the video camera. Within an era of ever increasingly rapid development of high-technology, video cameras have obtained an superior position in the field of documentation to the traditional written form.

We will face records in the written form almost everyday, books, newspapers, magazines, and so on. There is no doubt that written records have brought about us many. They tell us history, reveal to us what those important people once were thinking about, and many times give us an independent personal environment to develop our own thinking while reading such records. When reading the history about the Second World War, we learned that what kind barbarism had been commited by those Axis and we get to know the very truth that just will always defeat evil. (When appreciating Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice, we are shown a picture of the suburban life in the 18th century in England and what was the attitude held by people about marriage.) In a sunny afternoon, when sitting in the room trying to understand what such written records are actually telling us, will someone feel sleepy facing such static words? Probably. There is a way out of this, carry on your video camera, and go outside in the open air to find what is happening there.

We are living in an wonderful world. Everyday there are tens of thousands affairs taking place around us, and no one would like to let these slide right besides him but without even be aware of them. Video camera, a production of the fast developing technology, can help us record these things immediately as we see them, accurate and straightforward. When spring comes, with the help of video camera, we can record down the interesting process during which snow and ice melted, with the assistant of video camera, we can notice that new leaves appear on trees, buds are trying to show people their little heads, and still, with the help of video camera, we can keep the record of children flying kites with joy permanently. In the small screen of the video camera, everything is revitalized. The beautiful facet of human society is truly recorded by video camera, and what more, in the record, it is exactly what it is. In addition, when there is something that interests us, with a video camera, we can conveniently record them down. Without such tool, we may not be able to imagine how many beautiful scenes would have passed us without being noticed.

Besides being itself a convenient way of recording, with the development of computer technology relating to video camera, it has become a more and more wildly-used way of recording. For example, a foreign visitor has just traveled to the Great Wall and made a record about what he saw there with his video camera. When he returned home, he can load this record storing in the camera into his personal computer through some supplementary tool, such as a USB line. Then he can add some narrative giving a brief introduction about the great marvel in the world and more, how he felt when he saw the landscape there. Therefore a vivid record of his travel is formed and he can further distribute it among his families and friends. With the help of video camera, we can share what our families and friends are experiencing, it not only simply records the static things down, but it also records the every moment of our lives.

While written documentation will still be an effective way of recording, video camera, its late fellow, is likely to hold a more important position, due to its convenience, accuracy, and effectiveness. Through the small screen of video camera, we can have a view of the whole world.

最近感觉真的好差，都觉得写不出东西，词汇贫乏，语言也不行。还有一个多星期就要考了，真急啊！！大家帮忙多提点意见吧。

victoriazhizhiUID: 163135

差强人意 貌似是个褒义吧 高中语文的毒害。。。。。。。。。

大略瞅了下，觉得对比关系表现的不明显，各说各的优点，那到底哪个重要呢？那个作用大呢？两者有什么区别？这些区别表现在什么地方？两者有什么联系？能不能舍弃书写档案？说摄像重要，它为什么要比书写重要？这些问题不进行对比是得不出来的。尽管你说video的优点，但是还是不能很好的说明它有没有书写重要

而且看各段的TS的表达稍显随意了点，不太紧凑的样子

抱歉没细看了。。。 :p

staralwaysUID: 193479

是的，吱吱说在点子上。我当时写了一半就不想写了。

“而且看各段的TS感觉稍显得随意了些，不太紧凑”。恩，我知道你的意思。有时候不太想用那些什么Firstly，moreover之类词，想通过意思就自然而然的把段落从前一段转到后一段去。哎，最近的文章，只有叹气的份了。

我写的不好，你看我就已经知足了。