issue30 同主题超时20分钟

ZEALPALADINUID: 192560

Issue30: 533 words  45 minutes
提纲
不同意的观点
1，让步，提高效率的确是技术进步的目的
2，技术进步还有很多其他的目的
3，提高效率不能直接导致空闲时间的增加


The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that everyone has more leisure time.



        The speaker's assertion subsumes two parts, (1) that the increase of people's effectiveness should be the main of purpose of technological advancement and (2) everybody may have more leisure time due to the increase of efficiency. I fundamentally agree with neither of the two parts for the following reasons.

        First, I concede that human beings undertake technological advancement to improve their efficiency. Consider the business field for instance, the invention of software to edit texts helps people out of correcting and polishing their articles, which is a hard job with a typewriter. Moreover, tel meeting make it possible for CEOs to discuss issues that they are interested in without gathering from different part of the world. From the examples above we can say that to improve efficiency is indeed one main goal of technological advancement.

       Nevertheless, besides the increase of effectiveness, there are many other goals of technological advancement that deeply influenced human beings. For instance, the evolution in astronomy sent human beings to the Moon and even further into the far space which make it possible for people to explore the infinite cosmos and broaden human beings horizon. The medical and therapeutic advancement may ease the pain caused by diseases and make people live a healthier life, some medical advancement can even save peoples’ life. The technological improvement of internet provides more communications channels for human being, and make it possible for people to acquire more knowledge and information than they do by newspapers and television. Every year many countries spend millions of dollars in the field of astronomy and entrepreneurs donates reams of funds to medical and therapy technology. Obviously their primary goals are not only to increase peoples’ efficiency. Human beings benefit in many aspects on the technological advancement and the increase of peoples' efficiency is only one of them.

        Secondly, it is a fallacy as the speaker claims that the increase of peoples' effectiveness can provide people more leisure time. In my view, whether people have more leisure time does not depend on technological advancement. People in metropolitans may work may efficiently due to the social pressure, but apparently they do not have more leisure time than people in small towns where social pressure is much lower than that in major cities. For example, in Tokyo Japan, many white collars choose to work overtime to survive the fierce competition with extremely high efficiency. While in the rural areas of Japan, peasants may lead an easier life without the pressure of promotion or even make a living. Technological advancement, that does not make sense unless people take advantage of them, may provide more leisure time to some people; it is peoples’ will instead of technology or efficiency that beget the leisure time.

        To sum up, human beings undertake technological advancement to improve the quality of their lives in many aspects, one of which is to increase peoples’ efficiency. And technological advancement does not necessarily provide people with more leisure time. There are other factors, such as personal will, social pressure etc, that influence people to spare leisure time.

枫丹UID: 166492

Issue30: 533 words 45 minutes
提纲
不同意的观点
1，让步，提高效率的确是技术进步的目的
2，技术进步还有很多其他的目的
3，提高效率不能直接导致空闲时间的增加


The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that everyone has more leisure time.



The speaker's assertion subsumes two parts, (1) that the increase of people's effectiveness should be the main of purpose of technological advancement and (2) everybody may have more leisure time due to the increase of efficiency. I fundamentally agree with neither of the two parts for the following reasons.把题目拆开来说

First, I concede that human beings undertake做何解释 technological advancement to improve their efficiency. Consider the business field for instance, the invention of software to edit texts helps people out of correcting and polishing their articles, which is a hard job with a typewriter. Moreover, tel meeting make it possible for CEOs to discuss issues that they are interested in without gathering from different part of the world. From the examples above we can say that to improve efficiency is indeed one main goal of technological advancement.你只说科技带来了这些好处， 这似乎只是一个结果，可以用来证明科技带来的效率，但是很难证明说是根本的目的，我认为之间存在因果不同。

Nevertheless, besides the increase of effectiveness, there are many other goals of technological advancement that deeply influenced human beings. For instance, the evolution in astronomy sent human beings to the Moon and even further into the far space which make it possible for people to explore the infinite cosmos and broaden human beings horizon. The medical and therapeutic advancement may ease the pain caused by diseases and make people live a healthier life, some medical advancement can even save peoples’ life. The technological improvement of internet provides more communications channels for human being, and make it possible for people to acquire more knowledge and information than they do by newspapers and television. Every year many countries spend millions of dollars in the field of astronomy and entrepreneurs donates reams of funds to medical and therapy technology. Obviously their primary goals are not only to increase peoples’ efficiency. Human beings benefit specific in many aspects on the technological advancement and the increase of peoples' efficiency is only one of them.
这些目的到底什么呢？似乎说的很笼统
Secondly, it is a fallacy as the speaker claims that the increase of peoples' effectiveness can provide people more leisure time. In my view, whether people have more leisure time does not depend on technological advancement. People in metropolitans may work may 去掉 mayefficiently due to the social pressure, but apparently they do not have more leisure time than people in small towns where social pressure is much lower than that in major cities. For example, in Tokyo Japan, many white collars choose to work overtime to survive the fierce competition with extremely high efficiency. While in the rural areas of Japan, peasants may lead an easier life without the pressure of promotion or even make a living. Technological advancement, that does not make sense unless people take advantage of them, may provide more leisure time to some people; it is peoples’ will instead of technology or efficiency that beget the leisure time.

To sum up, human beings undertake technological advancement to improve the quality of their lives in many aspects, one of which is to increase peoples’ efficiency. And technological advancement does not necessarily provide people with more leisure time. There are other factors, such as personal will, social pressure etc, that influence people to spare leisure time.
论证过程没有什么问题，但是似乎缺少一个重心， 似乎大家在理解的时候都是把他分成两个层面。 个人是个人观点问题。但是就题目理解我想说：我个人认为文章题目强调goal 应该是什么而不是说科技所带来的好处， 如果是目标的话主体应该是人，人如何决定这个目标。 似乎论证的时候应该注意， 技术目的是什么， 为什么是，为什么不是。

枫丹UID: 166492

不知道我有没有表达清楚

davidjackyUID: 135962

No.1 issue30 同主题超时20分钟
Issue30: 533 words 45 minutes
提纲
不同意的观点
1，让步，提高效率的确是技术进步的目的
2，技术进步还有很多其他的目的
3，提高效率不能直接导致空闲时间的增加


The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that everyone has more leisure time.



The speaker's assertion subsumes two parts, (1) that the increase of people's effectiveness should be the main of purpose of technological advancement and (2) everybody may have more leisure time due to the increase of efficiency. I fundamentally agree with neither of the two parts for the following reasons.
解剖作者的观点，然后明确表示不同意
First, I concede that human beings undertake technological advancement to improve their efficiency. Consider the business field for instance, the invention of software to edit texts helps people out of correcting and polishing their articles, which is a hard job with a typewriter. Moreover, tel meeting make it possible for CEOs to discuss issues that they are interested in without gathering from different part of the world. From the examples above we can say that to improve efficiency is indeed one main goal of technological advancement.
论述身边的例子，可以，First和后面Nevertheless、Secondly这种信号词的连用是很难接受的，First可以不要
Nevertheless, besides the increase of effectiveness, there are many other goals of technological advancement that deeply influenced human beings. For instance, the evolution in astronomy sent human beings to the Moon and even further into the far space which make it possible for people to explore the infinite cosmos and broaden human beings horizon. The medical and therapeutic advancement may ease the pain caused by diseases and make people live a healthier life, some medical advancement can even save peoples’ life. The technological improvement of internet provides more communications channels for human being, and make it possible for people to acquire more knowledge and information than they do by newspapers and television. Every year many countries spend millions of dollars in the field of astronomy and entrepreneurs donates reams of funds to medical and therapy technology. Obviously their primary goals are not only to increase peoples’ efficiency. Human beings benefit in many aspects on the technological advancement and the increase of peoples' efficiency is only one of them.这段大谈技术进步不只是提高效率，还有另外的目的，倒也可以，但是我想这篇文章的论述最好还是针对leisure time的问题进行论述比较贴切，个人观点，仅供参考

Secondly, it is a fallacy as the speaker claims that the increase of peoples' effectiveness can provide people more leisure time. In my view, whether people have more leisure time does not depend on technological advancement. People in metropolitans may work may efficiently due to the social pressure, but apparently they do not have more leisure time than people in small towns where social pressure is much lower than that in major cities. For example, in Tokyo Japan, many white collars choose to work overtime to survive the fierce competition with extremely high efficiency. While in the rural areas of Japan, peasants may lead an easier life without the pressure of promotion or even make a living. Technological advancement, that does not make sense unless people take advantage of them, may provide more leisure time to some people; it is peoples’ will instead of technology or efficiency that beget the leisure time. 论述的重心有点偏，自始至终，文章讲这个技术进步是否带来leisure time，并没有潜藏人们是否利用它，文章的标题就明显的说了进步带来效率的提高，这足以说明这段的论述偏。记住，剖析作者观点也要尊重作者的观点

To sum up, human beings undertake technological advancement to improve the quality of their lives in many aspects, one of which is to increase peoples’ efficiency. And technological advancement does not necessarily provide people with more leisure time. There are other factors, such as personal will, social pressure etc, that influence people to spare leisure time.
好好总结一下，看看别人的文章，把问题尽快解决，好吧

ZEALPALADINUID: 192560

我觉得版主所言，要论证是否带来了LEISURE TIME是技术进步的结果，而非目的，目的的主观性很强，每个人都有自己的目的。我们要论述的目的，而非结果。