第一次argument 4写了好长好长时间 希望大家给看看

lalalaUID: 186478

the author claimed that compared with the 'Fitch Realty' real estate firm, the  'Adams Realty'  real estate firm will be the ideal choice for the people who want to sell their houses more quickly with less time. the evidence provided by the author mainly focus on the following aspects, the agent number of the each firm, the revenue and average selling price last year, and the author his or her own experience, nonetheless, hardly can the conclusion be drawn only on the supporting data.

the most obviously fallacy, though it reveals some rationality, is that the author presumed that the more people in one company, the more efficient will be. however there is no  tangible evidence provided by author to prove that there is a relationship between the number of agents and the efficiency. a brilliant case, with the  economic depression, more and more mulitnational companies retrench the overseas agents to bite  expenses in order to boost the efficiency to gain more profits. do not the administrators of the above-mentioned companies implement the adverse stratagems? in a nut, the evidence is too weak to uphold the author's viewpoint.

to say the least, even though people can sell their homes much swifter from  the  'Adams Realty'  real estate firm than that from the 'Fitch Realty' real estate firm,
the article can not assert the value also higher. indeed, the price $144,000 is much lower than the one $168,000, however on one hand the author can not point out the precise information about the each home, such as the size, location, even geomantic omen. on the other hand, the average price is also slanted by some special homes, such as a lavatory, a president room. in a word it is a little hasty to set such a conclusion.

last but not least, it is ridiculous that the author's experience would also spread to everybody. for one thing, there is a ten years time gap between twice selling,. with ten years, for example the China economy mushrooms, and  the desire and accomdation also have been changed great. for another thing, everybody has each destiny, even if the same home also bring different aftermath.

to sum up, it can not attest that people who sell their homes could gain more money with less time from the Adams Realty . to better support the argument, the author could provide and enumerate more detail data.

埃及女皇UID: 203466

the author claimed that compared with the 'Fitch Realty' real estate firm, the 'Adams Realty' real estate firm will be the ideal choice for the people who want to sell their houses more quickly with less time[感觉是不是重复了？]. the evidence provided by the author mainly focus on the following aspects, the agent number of the each firm, the revenue and average selling price last year, and the author his or her[改成 author's会不会更好？] own experience, nonetheless, hardly can the conclusion be drawn only on the supporting data.

the most obviously fallacy, though it[去掉it] reveals some rationality,[感觉though后面这一句都可以去掉] is that the author presumed that the more people in one company, the more efficient will be. however there is no tangible evidence provided by author to prove that there is a relationship between the number of agents and the efficiency. a brilliant case, with the economic depression, more and more mulitnational companies retrench the overseas agents to bite expenses in order to boost the efficiency to gain more profits. do not the administrators of the above-mentioned companies implement the adverse stratagems? in a nut, the evidence is too weak to uphold the author's viewpoint.[感觉这一段有点混乱 不是很清晰 可能你想说商业竞争？此段还要改改]

to say the least, even though people can sell their homes much swifter from the 'Adams Realty' real estate firm than that from the 'Fitch Realty' real estate firm,
the article can not assert the value also higher. indeed, the price $144,000 is much lower than the one $168,000, however on one hand the author can not point out the precise information about the each home, such as the size, location, even geomantic omen. on the other hand, the average price is also slanted by some special homes, such as a lavatory, a president room. in a word it is a little hasty to set such a conclusion.

last but not least, it is ridiculous that the author's experience would also spread to everybody. for one thing, there is a ten years time gap between twice selling,. with ten years, for example the China economy mushrooms, and the desire and accomdation also have been changed great. for another thing, everybody has each destiny, even if the same home also bring different aftermath.[我觉得这里没有必要举中国的例子，]

to sum up, it can not attest that people who sell their homes could gain more money with less time from the Adams Realty . to better support the argument, the author could provide and enumerate more detail data[你最后一段总结 应该从总体结论上来谈 你只说了利润的问题 还有时间呢？否则看起来就像是对前面一段论述的总结 而不是全部]

共勉吧！ 我也是快要考了  我个人感觉应该从小处举例论证 不用说国际金融变换那些大的环境  而且举大例也要引到小处来论证
大概是这些  我对语法比较弱一点 也不敢随便评论  只是论证思想上我还可以说几句

lalalaUID: 186478

谢谢 了 对了你还要写那一篇 一起写然后相互看看 我指的是argument？