argument145 打酣与长胖 互拍！

symphony22UID: 203058

Argument145  第21篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
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作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：31分47秒     409 words
从2005年3月17日19时59分到2005年3月17日20时31分
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A new study collected data that shows that people who snore are more likely to gain weight than are people who do not snore. It is well known that many people who snore also stop breathing frequently during the night for a few seconds, a condition called sleep apnea. The interruption of breathing wakes the person—often so briefly that the waking goes unnoticed—and can leave the person too tired during the day to exercise. Anyone who snores, therefore, should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more.
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The author of this argument conclude that anyone who anores ,should try to eat less than the average and to exercise more so as to get rid of gaining waight.However, this assertion is logical problematic in several aspects.

One potential problem have to do with the study's methodology.First, the exerpt provides no information about the number of the respondents or their age or sex profiles .The smaller the sample, the greater the possibility for biased results,and the less reliable the study. For example , if it is only included the people who favor those oily food and do not often do exercise,then the results would by no means reliable evidence for the assertion.,or if they respondents are not willing to tell their true situations,or perhaps the respondents account for only a little percentage of the overal population ,which would render the result of the study meaningless.

Another problem involved in the argument is that the author fail to provide any information to demonstrate that there is any relationship between snore and feel tired during the day to excercise, let alone the cause and effet relation.In fact, it is entirely possible that the people who are tired during the day is due to their over-loaded burden or they suffered from too much pressure. Without ruling out and considering these possibilities , the author can not convince me that once they snore ,they would be tired during the day.

The argument also assumes unfairly that gaining weight is the result of snore rather than other phenonmenon.actually when it comes to gain weight , there involve myraids of factors,such as gene and dirt habit .It is entirely possible that  a person who do not snore buthis or her family members ,especially the parents are all in a stout ,that is to say he is more likely to gain weight for the innate gene,or perhaps he or she has very bad dirt habit ,such as eat too much oily food before sleep or just be a 'couch-potato'.Since the article failed to account for this alterantive explanation ,the author can not make any convincing recommadation.


To sum up, this argument is not well supported.Before i can accept this assertion, the editor have to provide more clear evidence to assume that the  people who often snore will be too tired during the day and the study the author cites is reprentative to demonstrate that the people who snore are more likely to gain weight than those who do not.

starrynightUID: 204598

One potential problem have to do with the study's methodology.First, the exerpt provides no information about the number of the respondents or their age or sex profiles .The smaller the sample, the greater the possibility for biased results,and the less reliable the study. For example , if it is only included the people who favor those oily food and do not often do exercise,then the results would by no means reliable evidence for the assertion.,or if they（the） respondents are not willing to tell their true situations,or perhaps the respondents account for only a little percentage of the overal population ,which would render the result of the study meaningless.

Another problem involved in the argument is that the author fail（fails） to provide any information to demonstrate that there is any relationship between snore and feel（feeling） tired during the day to excercise, let alone the cause and effet relation (??).In fact, it is entirely possible that the people who are tired during the day is(are) due to their over-loaded burden or they suffered from too much pressure. Without ruling out and considering these possibilities , the author can not convince me that once they snore ,they would be tired during the day.

The argument also assumes unfairly that gaining weight is the result of snore rather than other phenonmenon.actually when it comes to gain weight , there involve myraids of factors,such as gene and dirt (detrimental) habit .It is entirely possible that a person who do(does) not snore but his or her family members ,especially the parents are all in a stout ,that is to say he is more likely to gain weight for the innate gene,or perhaps he or she has very bad dirt (detrimental) habit ,such as eat(eating) too much oily food before sleep or just be a 'couch-potato'. Since the article failed (fails) to account for this alterantive(alternative) explanation ,the author can not make any convincing recommadation.(感觉这一段和第二段有些重复，是不是可以并在一段反驳，然后在最后一点反驳The arguer ignores the other measures to avoid the people snore gaining weight.先说一下作者建议的不好的方面，然后再分析能不能用医学治疗的方法来治疗snore，从而摆脱gaining weight)


To sum up, this argument is not well supported.Before i can accept this assertion, the editor have to provide more clear evidence to assume that the people who often snore will be too tired during the day and the study the author cites is reprentative to demonstrate that the people who snore are more likely to gain weight than those who do not



有很大进步啊：）几个点都找的挺好，批驳的也比较有力，语言上稍微加强一下，注意下语法和拼写错误就很不错了！

yogurt4UID: 198389

A new study collected data that shows that people who snore are more likely to gain weight than are people who do not snore. It is well known that many people who snore also stop breathing frequently during the night for a few seconds, a condition called sleep apnea. The interruption of breathing wakes the person—often so briefly that the waking goes unnoticed—and can leave the person too tired during the day to exercise. Anyone who snores, therefore, should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more.
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The author of this argument conclude concludesthat anyone who anores snores,should try to eat less than the average and to exercise more so as to get rid of gaining waight. extra weightHowever, this assertion is logical logically problematic in several aspects.
时间再怎么紧，也犯不着在开头上弄出这么多低级错误。^-^

One potential problem have has to do with the study's methodology. First, the exerpt arguer provides no information about the number of the respondents or their age or sex profiles .The smaller the sample, the greater the possibility for biased results, and the less reliable the study. For example , if it is only included only includes the people who favor those oily food and do not often do exercise,then the results would by no means reliable evidence for the assertion.,or if they respondents are not willing to tell their true situations这里是不是掉了什么东东,or perhaps the respondents account for only a little percentage of the overal population ,which would render the result of the study meaningless.
这一段有点小乱。样本的具体情况不清楚，和样本的数量太小，最好分开来讲。
Another problem involved in the argument is that the author fail to provide any information to demonstrate that there is any relationship between snore and feel tired during the day后面的不要。 to excercise, let alone the cause and effet relation.In fact, it is entirely possible that the people who are tired during the day is due to their over-loaded burden or they suffered from too much pressure. suffer too much from pressure. Without ruling out and considering considering and ruling out these possibilities , the author can not convince me that once they snore ,they would be tired during the day.

The argument also assumes unfairly that gaining weight is the result of snore rather than other phenonmenon.actually when it comes to gain weight ?, there involve myraids of factors,such as gene and dirt habit .It is entirely possible that a person who do not snore buthis or her family members ,especially the parents are all in a stout ,that is to say he is more likely to gain weight for the innate gene,or perhaps he or she has very bad dirt habit ,such as eat too much oily food before sleep or just be a 'couch-potato'.Since the article failed to account for this alterantive account for explanation? explanation ,the author can not make any convincing recommadation.
jj，不要把diet 打成 dirt. 这段小错误很多。


To sum up, this argument is not well supported. Before i can accept this assertion, the editor have to provide more clear evidence to assume that the people who often snore will be too tired during the day and the study the author cites is reprentative to demonstrate that the people who snore are more likely to gain weight than those who do not.
我不是故意要打击你的~~~~其实你写的巨好~~~如果你留一点点时间检查错字的话。
加油了。