Argument44 新手第1篇【讨论的很好，大家可以继续讨论-by david】

阿择菜UID: 2110339

谢谢对我的帮助,我将对自己的不足加紧时间弥补,希望自己能有所提高,我会坚持不懈的去努力的

The argument concludes that the Monarch Book (MB) should open a cafe in its store to attract more customers and to better compete with Regal Book(RB).So it comes to this conclusion  that   MB should  discontinue the children's book section to add a cafe room place. Opening a café place  is  not suitable as the situation is different from RB’ café  place.  Therefore ,the argument  is unwarranted because there are several  causes.

Firstly , mere evidences shows that MB will make a profit by discontinuing the children’s book section and using the space spared to open a café.. Granted that  few customers buy  the children's book ,the cafe place may not gain the profits ..The customers coming to the book store may not want to have a coffee. Moreover , they  could prefer to  some drinks instead of coffee.. Further no evidence shows that the RB makes profits  since open a café place. Even though café is successful in RB, the café in MB may not have efficient. The café place which bring us more profits will be really doubtful.

Secondly ,the statistics is problematic. We couldn't certify that the national statistics is not congruent with this district. Maybe it is conducted in the developed city, but we don't think whether the M  is suitable for this survey. we should clarify  the information about the census in the M city. The argument cited the significant decline that   we  don't know it's means definitely. In other ways, the statistics last years don’t represent the trend nowadays. Maybe the children’s books are popular this year. The customers will focus more on the  qualities and values of the books .

Thirdly , in order  to compete with  RB, we needn't build the cafe place, we may create a other attractable place, for instance the rest place to have the drinks water, coca cola, and so on. If we create a café place , it is possible to spatter the new books if the customers is carefulness. We can't conclude that the cafe place will win more customers than  RB do. In other words, we should pay attention to  the  varieties of  books and better services than RB.

To sum up, the argument have not sufficient evidence to indicate building a  cafe room instead of the children's book section will attract more  customers. We should need more information that the management about RB and the statistics when it is done. If  we want to make more profits, we needn’t open the café place. We may consider that we should open other room place except for the café.

lsfrancisUID: 193777

今天时间不多没仔细看，但发现一个问题。那个last是最近的意思，就是newest，不是你说的last years。

另外，只有三点太少了，看看我在12＃写的。

阿择菜UID: 2110339

楼上前辈,我不知道12#在哪呢,呵呵
     还有你说的三点太少了,那我在新东方上课时,东方老师说拿出三点猛就可以了啊
那到底要批几点啊?
     last  是我理解有误了哦

lsfrancisUID: 193777

就是12楼啊。

新东方的老师说3点就够了？幸亏偶没去，BS一下。这也太呆板了吧。只要是明显的错误都要找出来，并且要充分展开。绝大多数argument至少能找到4点以上的明显错误吧。

阿择菜UID: 2110339

这些我都写了啊  我又加里边的了  只是我觉得句子还有待提高  我的模版还用的不熟,呵呵
自己发挥的
还有这篇AGU 我主要是对profit 问题作为最终驳斥点,我看有的范文主要是为了驳斥RB和MB的错误类比,我觉得欠妥..商业运营的主要目的就是为了profit!是否应该open a cafe 也是为之服务的  
我虽然只驳斥3点,但是在一个点里我写了几个错误了,不如 在 FIRSTLY 我就列了3个可疑点了  
楼主你觉得呢

lsfrancisUID: 193777

主要错误的看法当然因人而异，只要驳倒它就可以最大限度的反驳原文就可以认为是主要的错误。
关于RB开cafe是否盈利的问题，你确实提到了，这是我没看清楚。但是错误类比，我觉得还是有必要提一提的，因为很多argument都有这种错误，我想这也是ETS考察的一个方面吧。
关于3点是否足够的问题，我不知道XDF是如何教的。我的感觉是对待argument要抱着“怀疑一切，打到一切”的态度，有错必纠。当然错误找得太多有可能会影响对主要错误的展开，这个度的问题自己体会吧。对我来说，中间展开4段，如果还有其他小错误，集中在一起一笔带过，写个550词左右，广度和深度都有了。

阿择菜UID: 2110339

Firstly , mere evidences shows that MB will make a profit by discontinuing the children’s book section and using the space spared to open a café.. Granted that  few customers buy  the children's book ,the cafe place may not gain the profits ..The customers coming to the book store may not want to have a coffee. Moreover , they  could prefer to  some drinks instead of coffee.. Further no evidence shows that the RB makes profits  since open a café place. Even though café is successful in RB, the café in MB may not have efficient. The café place which bring us more profits will be really doubtful   (我觉得这句话我想表达出错误类比的意思，可能没有完全展开，RB即使open a café赚钱 ，但是并不一定在RB就一定成功，因为具体情况是不一样)
关于550字在30分钟内很难写出吧,我觉得难度有点太大了,如果有错就批,是不是突不出重点了呢,论证也很难展开啊,我作文是XDF祝可教我的,他说3点论证足够就可以了,一人一个观点吧,应该再研究ETS的范文一下

阿择菜UID: 2110339

我还是希望大家能够把这个AGU 的错误给吃透,既然写了就研究透呀
大家也可以把自己写的贴上去哦,加油!努力!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~大家一起来进步~~~不要懒哦