Argument242 22号就考了，大家帮帮忙啊！！！

逆风飞羊UID: 182440

242The following appeared as an editorial in the student newspaper of Groveton College.
"To combat the recently reported dramatic rise in cheating among college and university students, these institutions should adopt honor codes similar to Groveton's, which calls for students to agree not to cheat in their academic endeavors and to notify a faculty member if they suspect that others have cheated. Groveton's honor code replaced an old-fashioned system in which students were closely monitored by teachers and an average of thirty cases of cheating per year were reported. The honor code has proven far more successful: in the first year it was in place, students reported twenty-one cases of cheating; five years later, this figure had dropped to fourteen. Moreover, in a recent survey conducted by the Groveton honor council, a majority of students said that they would be less likely to cheat with an honor code in place than without."

提纲：１．差异概念的草率推广：没上报的作弊案例＝没有作弊
　　　２．没有与其他院校的横向比较
　　　３．调查不科学．
In this argument, the arguer concludes that institutions should adopt honor codes similar to Groveton’s. To support the conclusions, the arguer cites the statistics that the cases of cheating, which were reported, tailed away since the honor code was adopted. Moreover, the arguer manifests a survey, which proved that a majority of students thought they are less likely to cheat with an honor code in place than without. However, the editorial flaws in several aspects.

Firstly, the editorial fails to avoid the flaw of the hasty generalization of different concepts. The arguer hastily equals the cases of cheating not reported and the facts that the students don’t cheat. The difference between the two concepts is that maybe some students who cheat didn’t be found out or the supervisor did not report their behavior. Perhaps the students help each other’s to cheat and do not notify faculty members others’ cheating behavior.

Secondly, the arguer does an incomplete comparison. A group of statistics was provided to convince us that the adoption of honor codes surly declined the cases of cheating which were reported. The arguer should tell us the result of the comparison with other colleges or universities as well as the variation. Perhaps other institutions that still adopt the traditional system decreased the number of cheating cases more sharply by using more advantaged electrical appliances.

Finally, the survey mentioned in the editorial is severely unreliable. The arguer fails to provide the evidence that the respondents are representative. It is entirely possible that the students who are willing to reject the behavior of cheating are more interested in responding the survey. Besides, the credibility of the survey is open to doubt given its loaded question. Students should be asked whether they would be less likely to cheat the honor code in place than with the traditional system rather than without.

To sum up, the arguer should provide the evidence of the decline of the cases of cheating rather than the cases only been reported, moreover, the arguer should compare the number of cheating cases with other colleges adopting the traditional system. Before been convinced, we should also see the survey the editorial mentioned being amended to be more scientific.

imongUID: 140258

开头不用重述原题 省下个两三分钟还可以多想下后面怎么写

avoid the flaw 没有这个用法。

手把手再教一下段落该怎么写/展开。

Firstly, the editorial fails to avoid the flaw of the hasty generalization of different concepts（一点内容也没有 全删掉）. The arguer hastily equals the cases of cheating not reported and the facts that the students don’t cheat.（拉上去做TS） The difference between the two concepts is that（前面全是废话） maybe some students who cheat didn’t be found out or the supervisor did not report their behavior. Perhaps the students help each other’s to cheat and do not notify faculty members others’ cheating behavior.（光写到perhaps话没说完 后面至少再补一两句）

改完了就是

Reduced reports of cheating does not necessarily suggest the decrease in such an activity. It is absolutely possible that students collaborate in active cheating and pretend nothing is going on at the same time. So behind the "fourteen cases per year" the actual number of annual cheating cases may well be fourty, or one hundred and fourty, nobody knows. The statistics does not justifiably reflect the truth.（最后一句这里有个小小的收尾）

而且 honor code之前那个report前面没有写students这个限定词 而honor code之后都是students reported 这里可以做文章。假如把这一点再加入刚才这个段落 那就非常丰满了。

同理再考虑其他的段落

mmyppUID: 187645

像你上文改的做了一些数据假设，这样可以吗？有不合理假设的可能吗？

mmyppUID: 187645

还有结尾可以是对前面几段的总结吗？如楼主所写

逆风飞羊UID: 182440

把第二个理由再改写一下
Secondly, the declining cases in GROVETON do not necessarily prove the honor code's success for two reasons. First, despites the decline Groveton's cheating cases might be high compared to the counterparts of other institutions adopting the traditional system. Second, the arguer fails to tell us the total number of students studying in Groveton. Perhaps Groveton has one thousand students while another college having fifty cheating cases a year has five thousand students. In short, the mere fact that the number of reported cheating cases decline can hardly sustain the conclusion.

imongUID: 140258

其实并没有什么数据假设。都是很浅显的。

First, despites the decline (这里少个停顿 太容易一口气就看下去了。还不如到最后再写in spite of. despite没有s) Groveton's cheating cases might be high compared to the counterparts（拽了。直接that of就完了。） of other institutions adopting the traditional system.

还是不够深入。例如 Perhaps Groveton has one thousand students while another college having fifty cheating cases a year has five thousand students.这一句话要说明的是什么问题？如果说是一个"相对数额" 那么相对数额反映什么？代表什么？ 前后文没交待清楚呢。这一句话 不够。

再看看范文吧。

genie05UID: 30358

你要考?
顶一下~

ZEALPALADINUID: 192560

跟我同一天考，顶你！

liupeng19850214UID: 2263663

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-610923-1-1.html
帮我看一下吧!谢谢!