issue7 高频，修改过，找拍

seraph_hydeUID: 184809

Issue 7
The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records.

In this era of rapid scientific and technological development, more inventions have been invented to make our life more convenience and comfortable. Video camera is one of them, and has been widely used in many aspects of our lives. However, in some occasions written records are still playing an important role and can not be replaced by video camera.

In our personal lives, video camera are very popular for its property of vividness and directness. We use video camera to record our birthday parties, anniversaries, giving both and other important occasions, because when we watch the video tape, it will be like we are going back time and all these good and bad, happy and sad memories have come back. Thank to the vivid and accurate representation of the events by video camera. But we also use written records a lot in our every day lives too. For example, when we write diaries, when we leave a quite note, when we take a message for others, we are all using written records. Written records are equally important for its convenience and individuality.

In education, teachers use video record to make the class more vivid and more interesting. Students especially students in junior schools, like vivid and direct images much more than letters, because pictures and movies are more interesting and can turn knowledge into a more direct image signals which are easier for students to assimilate and comprehend. For example, in a biology class, it can be very hard for students who were grown up in big cities to understand what is a frog only through the description of the teacher and books, but by showing to them the pictures and movies of frogs, they can have a direct impression of what a frog looks like, how do they jump, how do they eat, so that the knowledge can be better learned and vividly remembered. On the other hand, most of the teaching still involves written records, such as books. Books are more vital for knowledge imparting than videos because although videos are more direct and more attractive, some knowledge can only be provided by written records in books such as math and literature.

In other aspects of the society, videos and written records are both important in different ways. In court, although video records can be vital in a crime where there is no witnesses, people tend to have more credit in the written records of a witness when both video and written records are available, because video records can be easily modified and affect the judgement of jury, and compare to machine, we tend to trust more in the witness’ honesty. Another, although we all like watch movies and TV shows, newspapers and novels have their irreplaceable position in people's lives. Although movies and TV shows are more realistic, letters on the paper can provide us more space of imagination. In addition, although we tape the whole procedure of a conference for justness, we still use contracts that written on papers and sign them with our handwriting signature. Video and written records work in different ways, but neither of them is dispensable.

To sum up, although we use video records a lot, we still need written records, because both of them play an important role in recording our everyday lives, impart witness, and none of them is more important than and can be replaced by each other.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-15 at 15:39 ]

seraph_hydeUID: 184809

沉的真块啊！！！

seraph_hydeUID: 184809

ding

seraph_hydeUID: 184809

ding

小玩UID: 2111777

Issue 7
The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records.

In this era of rapid scientific and technological development, more inventions have been invented introduced如何？重复不太好 to make our life more convenience convenient  and comfortable. Video camera is one of them, and has been widely used in many aspects of our lives. However, in some occasions written records are still playing an important role and can not be replaced by video camera.
你的观点是 两个都重要是吧？

In our personal lives, video camera are is very popular for its property of vividness and directness. We use video camera to record our birthday parties, anniversaries, giving both and other important occasions, because when we watch the video tape, it will be like we are going back time and all these good and bad, happy and sad memories have come back. Thanks to the vivid and accurate representation of the events by video camera. But we also use written records a lot in our every day lives too. For example, when we write diaries, when we leave a quite note, when we take a message for others, we are all using written records. Written records are equally important for its convenience and individuality.
这段不如下一段，感觉只是提到了各自的特点，并没有展开，我想题目更需要的是分析和展开

In education, teachers use video record to make the class more vivid and more interesting. Students especially students in junior schools, like vivid and direct images much more than letters, because pictures and movies are more interesting and can turn knowledge into a more direct image signals which are easier for students to assimilate and comprehend. For example, in a biology class, it can be very hard for students who were grown up in big cities to understand what is a frog only through the description of the teacher and books, but by showing to them the pictures and movies of frogs, they can have a direct impression of what a frog looks like, how do they jump, how do they eat, so that the knowledge can be better learned and vividly remembered. On the other hand, most of the teaching still involves written records, such as books. Books are more vital for knowledge imparting than videos because although videos are more direct and more attractive, some knowledge can only be provided by written records in books such as math and literature.
这段比上段好，就把video camera 特点具体写出来了的，生物课那个例子很合适。我觉得你还可以扣住题目中的“accurate”“convincing”这两个词来写一下

In other aspects of the society, videos and written records are both important in different ways. In court, although video records can be vital in a crime where there is no witnesses, people tend to have more credit in the written records of a witness when both video and written records are available, because video records can be easily modified and affect the judgement of jury, 我倒是觉得证言更不可靠呢？证人都可以串供反供的啊。 and compare to machine, we tend to trust more in the witness’ honesty. Another, although we all like watch movies and TV shows, newspapers and novels have their irreplaceable position in people's lives. Although movies and TV shows are more realistic, letters on the paper can provide us more space of imagination. In addition, although we tape the whole procedure of a conference for justness, we still use contracts that written on papers and sign them with our handwriting signature. Video and written records work in different ways, but neither of them is dispensable.
你的思路本来就是举三个领域来写，为什么到了最后一段要塞三个内容呢？还不如就写一个写清楚。因为你想写完也不可能，还有好多好多方面呢

To sum up, although we use video records a lot, we still need written records, because both of them play an important role in recording our everyday lives, impart witness, and none of them is more important than and can be replaced by each other.

嘿嘿，原来看过你的文章，好像是41，说实话 ，那篇比这篇好，无论是组织还是语言，尤其是排比哈，读起太爽了，羡慕的很~~不过也有可能这种题材的文章不好用排比吧

而且我个人觉得这个题目不太适合用这种分领域的方法写，就用对比再举不用领域的例子容易写清楚些。因为分领域写容易翻来覆去就那几句话，毕竟它们的特点是一样的啊，只是在不同地方表现出来的也不同

个人意见，供参考

[ Last edited by 小玩 on 2005-7-16 at 10:13 ]

seraph_hydeUID: 184809

谢谢小玩～～
这篇的确不如那篇，可是这是限时写的，那篇写了一个多小时～～排比还是不好想啊～～
你提的意见很有道理～～我会努力改正的～～
限时之后感觉语感全没了，写出的东西实在是垃圾啊，所以更是谢谢小玩，大概是忍着想吐的感觉读玩的吧，感动啊～～～

小玩UID: 2111777

Originally posted by seraph_hyde at 2005-7-16 11:54
谢谢小玩～～
这篇的确不如那篇，可是这是限时写的，那篇写了一个多小时～～排比还是不好想啊～～
你提的意见很有道理～～我会努力改正的～～
限时之后感觉语感全没了，写出的东西实在是垃圾啊，所以更是谢谢小 ...

不早说~~限时出来的很不错了，我每次1个小时都搞不定的：（

主要就觉得你写这个题目的方式不太对（就分领域写），那样不好写，嘿嘿

加油哈！

硬柿子UID: 204138

The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records.
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In this era of rapid scientific and technological development, more inventions have been invented 换个created 是不是更好些?to make our life more convenienceconvenient, adj. and comfortable. Video camera is one of them, and has been widely used in many aspects of our lives. However, in some occasions written records are still playing an important role and can not be replaced by video camera.

In our personal lives, video camera are very popular for its property of vividness and directness. We use video camera to record our birthday parties, anniversaries, giving both and other important occasions这句话什么意思，没看懂, because when we watch the video tape, it will be like we are going back time  and all these good and bad, happy and sad memories have come back. Thanks to the vivid and accurate representation of the events by video camera. But we also use written records a lot in our every day lives too, 有also 就不要too了. For example, when we write diaries, when we leave a quite note, when we take a message for others, we are all using written records. Written records are equally important for its convenience and individuality.这段在讲vedio的好处，怎么突然来个written record的  equally important?

In education, teachers use video record to make the class more vivid and more interesting. Students especially students in junior schools, like vivid and direct images much more than letters, because pictures and movies are more interesting and can turn knowledge into a more direct image signals which are easier for students to assimilate and comprehend. For example, in a biology class, it can be very hard for students who were grown up in big cities to understand what is a frog only through the description of the teacher and books, but by showing to them the pictures and movies of frogs, they can have a direct impression of what a frog looks like, how do they jump, how do they eat, so that the knowledge can be better learned and vividly remembered. On the other hand, most of the teaching still involves written records, such as books. Books are more vital for knowledge imparting than videos because although videos are more direct and more attractive, some knowledge can only be provided by written records in books such as math and literature.哦，明白了，你在讲两个同样重要，但是似乎vedio的笔墨多些哦~~

In other aspects of the society, videos and written records are both important in different ways. In court, although video records can be vital in a crime where there is no witnesses, people tend to have more credit in the written records of a witness when both video and written records are available, because video records can be easily modified and affect the judgementjudgment of thejury, and compare comparingto machine, we tend to trust more in the witness’ honesty. Another, although we all like watch movies and TV shows, newspapers and novels have their irreplaceable position in people's lives. Although movies and TV shows are more realistic, letters on the paper can provide us more space of imagination.这个点就对了，我个人以为，要写written records 的好处可以从，它留给人们想象的空间，还有更加多的思维深度……可以展开去 In addition, although we tape the whole procedure of a conference for justness, we still use contracts that written on papers and sign them with our handwriting signature. Video and written records work in different ways, but neither of them is dispensable.

To sum up, although we use video records a lot, we still need written records, because both of them play an important role in recording our everyday lives, impart witness, and none of them is more important than and can be replaced by each other.
接下来我想写写这篇文章，因此来看看你的，你的大体思路是说两者一样一样重要，是吗？但是written records的笔墨似乎比较少，优点和好处没有写的很清楚. 快考试了是吗？加油哦~~~个人的一点愚见，仅供参考….

seraph_hydeUID: 184809

谢谢柿子MM！！
我觉得还是分开写比较好，同一段里写两个东西就是显得比较乱～～

硬柿子UID: 204138

穿插写这个想法我也有过，但是在英文里伏笔呀、夹叙夹议等等的写法似乎行不通，让别人感觉很乱，有可能自己的英文水平还没到那个程度吧~~~所以我也还是决定分开写~~~至少让人看的不会云里雾里的~~~~

简简单单，把道理说明白就完事，不搞那么多花样了~~

seraph_hydeUID: 184809

恩，柿子mm加油！

硬柿子UID: 204138

应该叫姐姐，不是MM ;)