Issue104 同主题 偶的第1篇 第3改了

dr_greenUID: 193584

------摘要------
共用时间：限时 58分51秒     504 words

------题目------
It is primarily through formal education that a culture tries to perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas it fears.

这是3改的文章了～～原文在后面 如果有～好心人～来 现看改过的这个吧 谢谢！。！
P.S. 结尾仍然空缺

Culture, the spirit of humanity, permeates the life of every individual. It judges ideas and decides their popularity. As one of the important ways through which culture lives on, formal education leaves its function highly depended on the characteristics of the culture it lies in,

Certain culture decides the characters of its undertakers. It emerged far before education did. In terms of formal education, culture determined the way and contents people teach and study to a great extent. However, this extent depends on how centralized the certain culture is, and how strong it associated with other cultures. That is, the characteristics of the culture.

Only under certain culture, within certain age can formal education be an effective way to perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas it fears. For instance, during Chinese Cultural Revolution, formal education was such an effective and powerful means that the only ideas every student must believe in were the sayings of Chairman Mao. However, when those 10 years of time passed away, Chinese culture refreshed itself. And formal education system shifted its position.

The competitive world today calls for a critical mind and initial ideas. Thus, instead of requiring conformation to traditions and customs, many modern education systems including formal one encourage critical thinking and inventive mind. As in China and many other countries nowadays, more and more educators emphasize the importance of challenging authorities and standards. Therefore formal education can no longer be the heavy fortress that guards the perpetuation of a culture.

Then comes the question. What is the primary way to accomplish this task for culture? A more acceptable answer to me is the running of people’s daily life. Our life is where culture exists and lives – in the judgments we make, and steps we take. It is not only what we get and give from one generation to the next through formal education. More importantly, it builds up scales that can last and adjust to time – morals, ethnics, laws, science and aesthetics, and so on. Also it forms censoring mechanisms, which brings every idea in front of the court of judges or the bars of the masses. It is through this complex censoring system which exists everywhere in people’s life, that culture maintain its uniqueness.


------提纲------
观点：Formal education can be one way through which culture perpetuates its
favorite ideas and discredits the unfavorite. However it is the culture itself and the way it exists that functions as a filter of ideas, rather than formal education.
OUTLINE
1.        Culture emerged far before education did. It formed and developed in people’s daily life.
2.        Culture decides the characters and functions of education, including formal education.
3.        Only under certain culture, within certain age is formal education an effective way to perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas it fears.
4.        Modern formal education encourage critical thinking and initial problem solving. People don’t always conform with customs and their own culture.
5.        Culture itself and the way it exists – in people’s daily life, underneath moral, ethnics and laws , filling mass media – can function as a filter of ideas and sayings.

------正文------
Formal education can be one way through which culture perpetuates its favorite ideas and discredits the unfavorite. However it is the culture itself and the way it exists that functions as a filter of ideas, rather than formal education only.

Culture is the inventor of education. It emerged far before education did. Culture itself, lying under people's daily life, formed its characters and developed into what it is today. On the other hand, education is one of the byproducts of culture, along with law, moral, ethnics, and so on.

As the product of certain culture, education including formal one always share some characteristics with its inventor. In some aspects, it is substantial to say that culture determined the way and contents its believers teach and study. However, the certainty depends on the characteristics of that certain culture and that of the world's situation.

Only under certain culture, within certain age is formal education an effective way to perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas it fears. The decade of Chinese Cultural Revolution is one of the typical instances.  During those 10 years, students from grade 1 to universities all needed to learn one thing -- the sayings of Chairman Mao, which were cardinal ideas of the surviving of the whole country. Also during those 10 years, nobody was allowed to have no opposite ideas to the government. However, when the dark days passed and the light came in through the windows again, Chinese culture refreshed itself. And formal education system shifted its position.

Modern formal education in most of the developed and many developing countries don't take tradition conformation conforming as serious as before. Instead, they encourage critical and inventive thinking. Students nowadays are supposed to pick up necessary knowledge of science and arts, a large proportion of which are cross-cultural. Moreover, the competitive world today calls for a critical mind and initial ideas in problem solving. We do not turn to our own culture for solutions as much as before. Instead, we look into other culture basing on a more tolerant culture of our own.

Then through what way does culture filters the ideas coming up from inside? A more acceptable answer to me is the function of people's daily life -- the way culture exists. It lies under everything of people's life, morals, ethnics, laws, etc. We talk about it, behave within the frontier it built up -- hanging in and out of the line sometimes. We live our life on the soil of the past and future of our own culture. The filter exists in our talks and behaviors. It is the judgments we make and the options we take. It is not only the education we give to every next generation, but also everything we inherit from the old and pass on to the young.

It is culture lying in people's daily life that functions as a filter of ideas. Formal education is only one possible way. To discover how the culture maintains and develops, all the facets of life can be the way.

然后是我自己改的第一遍 俨然就是重写个新的啊。。。。 结尾的地方目前完全没想法中。。。。狂汗。。。明天再改下

Culture, the spirit of humanity, permeates the life of every individual living under the light of it. It judges ideas and decides their popularity. On the other hand, formal education, whose function highly depends on the characteristics of the culture it lies in, is only one of the possible ways to assist its dominator.

Culture emerged far before education did. It formed and transformed into what it is today. Formal education was one of the products of culture, along with informal and non-formal education, law, moral, ethnics, and so on. Certain culture decides the characters of its products. In terms of formal education, culture determined the way and contents its followers teach and study to a great extent. However, the extent depends on how centralized the certain culture is, and how strong it associated with other cultures. That is, the characteristics of that culture.

Only under certain culture, within certain age is formal education an effective way to perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas it fears. During Chinese Cultural Revolution, formal education was such an effective and powerful means that the only ideas every student must believe in were the sayings of Chairman Mao. However, when those 10 years of time passed away, Chinese culture refreshed itself. And formal education system shifted its position. The competitive world today calls for a critical mind and initial ideas. Thus, instead of requiring of conforming to traditions, many modern educations, including the formal one, encourage critical thinking and inventive ideas in students.

Then through what way does culture filters the ideas? A more acceptable answer to me is the running of people’s daily life, where culture exists and lives – in the judgments we make, and steps we take. It is not only what we get and give from one generation to the next through formal education. More importantly, it builds up scales – morals, ethnics, laws, science and aesthetics; and forms a complex system of censorship – formal and informal ones. Basing on these scales and systems people can judge every new idea coming up from in-and-outside the culture.  

It is culture lying in people's daily life that functions as a filter of ideas. Formal education is only one possible way. To discover how the culture maintains and develops, all the facets of life can be the way.
再谢坚持看到这里和没看到这里的大家～～～

[ Last edited by dr_green on 2005-7-20 at 10:03 ]

leo1001UID: 185894

Issue104 同主题 偶的第1篇 互拍互拍～ 谢谢大家啦～～

------摘要------
共用时间：限时 58分51秒     504 words

------题目------
It is primarily through formal education that a culture tries to perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas it fears.

------提纲------
观点：Formal education can be one way through which culture perpetuates its
favorite ideas and discredits the unfavorite. However it is the culture itself and the way it exists that functions as a filter of ideas, rather than formal education.
OUTLINE
1.        Culture emerged far before education did. It formed and developed in people’s daily life.
2.        Culture decides the characters and functions of education, including formal education.
3.        Only under certain culture, within certain age is formal education an effective way to perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas it fears.
4.        Modern formal education encourage critical thinking and initial problem solving. People don’t always conform with customs and their own culture.
5.        Culture itself and the way it exists – in people’s daily life, underneath moral, ethnics and laws , filling mass media – can function as a filter of ideas and sayings.

------正文------
Formal education can be one way through which culture perpetuates its favorite ideas and discredits the unfavorite. However it is the culture itself and the way it exists that functions as a filter of ideas, rather than formal education only.

Culture is the inventor of education(听起来很别扭). It emerged far before (earlier than) education did. Culture itself, lying under people's daily life, formed its characters and developed into what it is today.(这句话读起来非常别扭) On the other hand, education is one of the byproducts of culture, along with law, moral, ethnics, and so on.

As the product of certain culture, education including formal one always share some characteristics with its inventor. In some aspects, it is substantial to say that culture determined the way and contents its believers teach and study. However, the certainty depends on the characteristics of that certain culture and that of the world's situation.

Only under certain culture, within certain age is formal education an effective way to perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas it fears. The decade of Chinese Cultural Revolution is one of the typical instances.  During those 10 years, students from grade 1 to universities all needed to learn one thing -- the sayings of Chairman Mao, which were cardinal ideas of the surviving of the whole country. Also during those 10 years, nobody was allowed to have no opposite ideas to the government. However, when the dark days passed and the light came in through the windows again, Chinese culture refreshed itself. And formal education system shifted its position.

Modern formal education in most of the developed and many developing countries don't(doesn’t) take tradition conformation conforming as serious as before. Instead, they encourage critical and inventive (creative) thinking. Students nowadays are supposed to pick up necessary knowledge of science and arts, a large proportion of which are cross-cultural. Moreover, the competitive world today calls for a critical mind and initial ideas in problem solving (solving problems). We do not turn to our own culture for solutions as much as before. Instead, we look into other culture basing on a more tolerant culture of our own.

Then through what way does culture filters the ideas coming up from inside? (读起来不爽)A more acceptable answer to me is the function of people's daily life -- the way culture exists. It lies under everything of people's life, morals, ethnics, laws, etc. We talk about it, behave within the frontier it built up – hangng(hanging) in and out of the line sometimes. We live our life on the soil of the past and future of our own culture. The filter exists in our talks and behaviors. It is the judgments we make and the options we take. It is not only the education we give to every next generation, but also everything we inherit from the old and pass on to the young.

It is culture lying in people's daily life that functions as a filter of ideas. Formal education is only one possible way. To discover how the culture maintains and develops, all the facets of life can be the way.

然后是我自己改的第一遍 俨然就是重写个新的啊。。。。 结尾的地方目前完全没想法中。。。。狂汗。。。明天再改下

Culture, the spirit of humanity, permeates the life of every individual living under the light of it. It judges ideas and decides their popularity. On the other hand, formal education, whose function highly depends on the characteristics of the culture it lies in, is only one of the possible ways to assist its dominator.

Culture emerged far before education did. It formed and transformed into what it is today. Formal education was one of the products of culture, along with informal and non-formal education, law, moral, ethnics, and so on. Certain culture decides the characters of its products. In terms of formal education, culture determined the way and contents its followers teach and study to a great extent. However, the extent depends on how centralized the certain culture is, and how strong it associated with other cultures. That is, the characteristics of that culture.

Only under certain culture, within certain age is formal education an effective way to perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas it fears. During Chinese Cultural Revolution, formal education was such an effective and powerful means that the only ideas every student must believe in were the sayings of Chairman Mao. However, when those 10 years of time passed away, Chinese culture refreshed itself. And formal education system shifted its position. The competitive world today calls for a critical mind and initial ideas. Thus, instead of requiring of conforming to traditions, many modern educations, including the formal one, encourage critical thinking and inventive ideas in students.

Then through what way does culture filters the ideas? A more acceptable answer to me is the running of people’s daily life, where culture exists and lives – in the judgments we make, and steps we take. It is not only what we get and give from one generation to the next through formal education. More importantly, it builds up scales – morals, ethnics, laws, science and aesthetics; and forms a complex system of censorship – formal and informal ones. Basing on these scales and systems people can judge every new idea coming up from in-and-outside the culture.  

It is culture lying in people's daily life that functions as a filter of ideas. Formal education is only one possible way. To discover how the culture maintains and develops, all the facets of life can be the way.
第1篇我读起来非常痛苦,感觉用词不是很能经得住推敲.第2篇读起来好一些,但是我不知道例子的说服力是否很强,作者两个范文中都提到了Chairman Mao和 Chinese Cultural Revolution,我觉得例子还可以,但不知能否找到更合适的. ,建议作者多看范文,多多借鉴.

dr_greenUID: 193584

谢谢！！我会改的＝）

welvetUID: 2115361

好不？

dr_greenUID: 193584

welvetUID: 2115361

welvetUID: 2115361

因为自己对语法没有把握，所以没有改
感觉句子有时候为了句型复杂而故意很麻烦，有些生硬

fanfanzozoUID: 2114008

Originally posted by dr_green at 2005-7-15 23:32
------摘要------
共用时间：限时 58分51秒     504 words

------题目------
It is primarily through formal education that a culture tries to perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredi ...

Culture, the spirit of humanity, permeates the life of every individual living under the light of it. It judges ideas and decides their popularity. On the other hand, formal education, whose function highly depends on the characteristics of the culture it lies in, is only one of the possible ways to assist its dominator.部分同意，文化按喜好，而教育并非主要？ on the other hand 用的别扭，开头再明了一点

Culture emerged far before education did. It formed and transformed into what it is today. Formal education was one of the products of culture, along with informal and non-formal education, law, moral, ethnics, and so on. Certain culture decides the characters of its products. In terms of formal education, culture determined the way and contents its followers teach and study to a great extent. However, the extent depends on how centralized the certain culture is, and how strong it associated with other cultures. That is, the characteristics of that culture.同意的部分，但是文化先于教育不一定就决定啊，我觉得没展开

Only under certain culture, within certain age （era好一点？）is formal education an effective way to perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas it fears. During Chinese Cultural Revolution, formal education was such an effective and powerful means that the only ideas every student must believe in were the sayings of Chairman Mao. However, when those 10 years of time passed away, Chinese culture refreshed itself. And formal education system shifted its position. The competitive world today calls for a critical mind and initial ideas. Thus, instead of requiring of conforming to traditions, many modern educations, including the formal one, encourage critical thinking and inventive ideas in students.

Then through what way does culture filters the ideas? A more acceptable answer to me is the running of people’s daily life, where culture exists and lives – in the judgments we make, and steps we take. It is not only what we get and give from one generation to the next through formal education. More importantly, it builds up scales – morals, ethnics, laws, science and aesthetics; and forms a complex system of censorship – formal and informal ones. Basing on these scales and systems people can judge every new idea coming up from in-and-outside the culture. 并不能说明它比formal education更主要，所以你这是完全同意还是不完全呢

It is culture lying in people's daily life that functions as a filter of ideas. Formal education is only one possible way. To discover how the culture maintains and develops, all the facets of life can be the way
我觉得文章思路很清楚，但说服力就差了些。是不是立场选错了，其实我觉得题目给的就很中立客观，尤其是education是主要的方面，找找其它的突破口。谢谢你帮我改作文!觉得你很有critical thinking