Issue48 同主题写作，限时失败，不过因为是下午写的，可以原谅。共勉

edgarluUID: 203648

仔细检查过，语言上的错误应该不多了
还望各位多多替我删字，先谢过

提纲在下面，第一点是说所有名人都能搞大事，第二点是说所有大事都托名人的福
很担心这两点的论证会重复

Issue48
The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten.

Outline:
All famous people in the history did make the world different in a certain way. The famous few in the history are famous for a reason, which, in most cases, are their great influence to the human society at their times, whether it's a positive or negative one.
The most significant events and trends in history were either led or initiated by some critical characters, their thoughts or decisions well represent the opinions carried by many of those who contributes to the history as a participant.
Admittedly, the group of people whose names have been long forgotten yet whose contribution to the history must be admitted should also have their places in our history researches.


Article:
Opening most of the history books, we would always find a pattern in any brief description of important incidents, like this: In the year of xxxx, somebody did something that succeeded/failed something, which ends up with something. Even when the subject is an organization, a party or any group of people, specific names would still be mentioned and emphasized. Yes, it's true. Although technically it's those groups of people who committed those events and trends, the whole history is still written primarily with the few great names, not for the simplicity of expressing, but for their veritable "key value" to the human history.  

All the famous people in the history did make the world different in a certain way. The famous few in the history are famous for a reason, which, in most cases, are their great influence to the human society at their times. Basically, this kind of influence could be classified as three major types: contribution, damage or controversy. To the first two kinds, the value of research is pretty obvious, since any of those reflects a significant breakthrough, turning point or frustration in history. We could list a milky-way of such examples: a biography of Napoleon is a vivid portrait of French Revolution, so is that of Adolf Hitler to WW II; from the masterpieces of Shakespeare we see the Renaissance, from Lincoln's speeches we hear the Civil War. But for the last one, especially for those eventually failed to establish their theories or opinions, some would say that as controversial and unproven as they were, these famous people mean nothing to the contemporary history research. Nevertheless there is one thing they forget: the objective of history study. We research history not only for its results or milestones, but also for all the processes. Take science as an example. Lots of experiments and tests are carried out before a product or a theory could finally come into realization, but when the final report is done, would you throw all the experimental reports away? Of course not, because those tell the story of how we go through and get here, a perfect reference for next research subjects maybe, from which we could possibly avoid any unreliable decisions just like how mistakes were made before.

The most significant events and trends in history were either led or initiated by some critical characters, whose thoughts or decisions well represent the opinions carried by many of those who contributed to the history as a participant. Undoubtedly, significant events and trends are highlights in the big picture of human history as well as critical joints linking the individual eras. "The skeleton of history", as some would say. Every single one of them had to have one or several "heads", people who had the courage and capability to lead or organize their supporters to fulfill their destiny in history. Information about those supporters may tell us something about what happened then, but is definitely not comparable with what we can find in the ones they followed. On the other hand, the supporters are many while the leaders are few. The general similarity of the supporters decides that they are less cost-effective researching entities than the latter.

Admittedly, the group of people whose names have been long forgotten yet whose contribution to the history must be admitted should also have their places in our history researches. Every time we make some research upon a certain historic events or trends, we should never ignore the reaction and position of the population or certain groups of people towards them. Because if the famous individuals are the main characters in this play of mankind, the concerned people would be minor roles or understudies while the rest of them the background. Without any of these elements, this play sucks.

All in all, the story of famous people is a major part of the history while every scene and climax of history was starred with the memorables. The groups of nameless people who played their roles in the evolution of human society should be recognized as a whole, yet each individual of them could only face their fate of "vanishing into the air, and gone with the wind".

[ Last edited by edgarlu on 2005-7-19 at 08:18 ]

cssUID: 173612

Issue48
The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten.

Outline:
All famous people in the history did make the world different in a certain way. The famous few in the history are famous for a reason, which, in most cases, are their great influence to the human society at their times, whether it's a positive or negative one.
The most significant events and trends in history were either led or initiated by some critical characters, their thoughts or decisions well represent the opinions carried by many of those who contributes to the history as a participant.
Admittedly, the group of people whose names have been long forgotten yet whose contribution to the history must be admitted should also have their places in our history researches.


Article:
Opening most of the history books, we would always find a pattern in any brief description of important incidents, like this: In the year of xxxx, somebody did something that succeeded/failed something, which ends up with something.很新颖阿，但开头这么写太不简洁了，中文这样写还行，老美是开门见山的 Even when the subject is an organization, a party or any group of people, specific names would still be mentioned and emphasized. Yes, it's true. 没有设问阿，而且这个句式太口语，太不professionalAlthough technically it's those groups of people who committed those events and trends, the whole history is still written primarily with the few great names, not for the simplicity of expressing, but for their veritable "key value" to the human history. 应该是全赞同的观点

All the famous people in the history did make the world different in a certain way. The famous few in the history are famous for a reason, which,修饰reason,后面就用is,很奇怪，写for their great...不更好吗？“他们出名是有原因的，原因是他们的什么什么影响“难道语气更强烈？我觉得啰嗦 in most cases, are their great influence to the human society at their times. Basically, this kind of influence could be classified as three major types: contribution, damage or controversy. 第三个分类用词有歧义，影响是争论？To the first two kinds, the value of research is pretty obvious, since any of those reflects a significant breakthrough, turning point or frustration in history. 分析很简练，抓住问题实质了，好！We could list a milky-way银河？有这个用法吗？ of such examples: a biography of Napoleon is a vivid portrait of French Revolution, so is that of Adolf Hitler to WW II; from the masterpieces of Shakespeare we see the Renaissance, from Lincoln's speeches we hear the Civil War. 例子丰富，句式多变，不错！But for the last one, especially for those eventually failed to establish their theories or opinions, some would say that as controversial and unproven as they were, these famous people mean nothing to the contemporary history research. Nevertheless there is one thing they forget: the objective objectivity of history study. We research 动词不接宾语history not only for its results or milestones, but also for all the processes. Take science as an example. Lots of experiments and tests are carried out before a product or a theory could finally come into realization, but when the final report is done, would you throw all the experimental reports away? 立意很好，但没把跟历史研究的关系联系起来说Of course not, because those tell the story of how we go through and get here, a perfect reference for next research subjects maybe, from which we could possibly avoid any unreliable decisions just like how mistakes were made before. 条理很清晰

The most significant events and trends in history were either led or initiated by some critical characters, whose thoughts or decisions well represent the opinions carried by many of those who contributed to the history as a participant. 建议加段首关连词，不然一时反应不过来态度Undoubtedly, significant events and trends are highlights in the big picture of human history as well as critical joints linking the individual eras. "The skeleton of history", as some would say. 太跳跃了，解释一下啊，还是个短句Every single one of them had to have one or several "heads", people those who had the courage and capability to lead or organize their supporters to fulfill their destiny in history. Information about those supporters may tell us something about what happened then,为什么？ but is definitely not comparable with what we can find in the ones they followed. On the other hand, the supporters are many while the leaders are few. The general similarity of the supporters decides that they are less cost-effective researching entities than the latter. 你开头说的是not for the simplicity of expressing,

Admittedly, the group of people whose names have been long forgotten yet whose contribution to the history must be admitted should also have their places in our history researches. Every time we make some research upon a certain historic events or trends, we should never ignore the reaction and position of the population or certain groups of people towards them. Because if the famous individuals are the main characters in this play of mankind, the concerned people would be minor roles or understudies while the rest of them the background. 不好理解Without any of these elements, this play sucks.又口语了

All in all, the story of famous people is a major part of the history while every scene and climax of history was starred with the memorables. 好句子！The groups of nameless people who played their roles in the evolution of human society should be recognized as a whole, yet each individual of them could only face their fate of "vanishing into the air, and gone with the wind".很文学，但偶觉得issue是学术性的文章，不是抒情文学性的

语言很灵活，排除一些太散的句子，不失为一片好文章！
结构逻辑条分缕析，向你学习！

[ Last edited by css on 2005-7-17 at 12:09 ]

ardorousUID: 2115432

ahqiuUID: 207682

改在下面了哈

[ Last edited by ahqiu on 2005-7-18 at 20:09 ]

jason0926UID: 200697

好文,佩服,学习,现在开始写ISSUE48

ahqiuUID: 207682

Opening most of the history books, we would always find a pattern in any brief description of important incidents, like this: In the year of xxxx, somebody did something that succeeded/failed something, which ends（确定不是ended） up with something. Even when the subject is an organization, a party or any group of people, specific names would still be mentioned and emphasized. Yes, it's(表缩写) true. Although technically （什么意思，不能那么说吧）it's those groups of people who committed those events and trends, the whole history is still written primarily with the few great names, not for the simplicity of expressing, but for their veritable "key value" to the human history.  （自己的观点，还是用点I agree一类的，让人明显地看见你是什么立场，建议）

All the famous people in the history did make the world different in a certain way. The famous few in the history are famous for a reason,（这句话缺乏美感 阿the reason why they are so famous is that ~~~）which, in most cases, are their great influence to the human society at their times. Basically, this kind of influence could be classified as three major types: contribution, damage or controversy. To the first two kinds, the value of research is pretty obvious, since any of those reflects a significant breakthrough, turning point or frustration in history.(前两个放在一起说显得有点乱，两个对应的却是后面的三个，让人怎么去理解呢) We could list a milky-way of such examples: a biography of Napoleon is a vivid portrait of French Revolution, so is that of Adolf Hitler to WW II; from the masterpieces of Shakespeare we see the Renaissance, from Lincoln's speeches we hear the Civil War.（这几个例子说明了什么呢，具体一点吧，从Lincoln身上我们就能看到Civil War的全部吗） But for the last one, （这句话像是借着例子写的，这个one指代得太远了）especially for those eventually failed to establish their theories or opinions, some would say that as controversial and unproven as they were, these famous people mean nothing （又那么绝对吗）to the contemporary history research. Nevertheless there is one thing they forget: the objective of history study. We research history not only for its results or milestones, but also for all the processes. Take science as an example. Lots of experiments and tests are carried out before a product or a theory could finally come into realization, but when the final report is done, would you throw all the experimental reports away? Of course not, because those tell the story of how we go through and get here, a perfect reference for next research subjects maybe, from which we could possibly avoid any unreliable decisions just like how mistakes were made before. （这个例子可能引申得太远了，虽然这么说好像也没错，其实一段里面可以不用涵盖那么内容的，而且看看你的中心句，再看看你的结尾，都跑多远了）
段与段之间缺少必要的连词
The most significant events and trends in history were either led or initiated by some critical characters, whose thoughts or decisions well represent the opinions carried by many of（many of去掉） those who contributed to the history as a participant（前面是复数，participants）. Undoubtedly, significant events and trends are highlights in the big picture of human history as well as critical joints linking the individual eras.(这句话语中心无关) "The skeleton of history"（我还没听说过，呵呵,cool）, as some would say. Every single one of them had to have one or several "heads", people who had the courage and capability to lead or organize their supporters to fulfill their destiny in history. Information about those supporters may tell us something about what happened then, but is definitely not comparable with what we can find in the ones they followed.(but后面的这些代词指代不明噢ones??) On the other hand,(这两层意思有点头重脚轻，呵呵) the supporters are many while the leaders are few. The general similarity of the supporters decides（中文说决定了，可英文不那么说阿，换个句型make~~~~less cost-effective）， that they are less cost-effective researching entities than the latter.这层意思没有任何支持，就这样就可以了？？
没看出来B1和B2的意思有什么不同呢？？好像有点重复

Admittedly, the group of people whose names have been long forgotten yet（常用于疑问和否定，不知为什么放在这里） whose contribution to the history must be admitted should also have their places in our history researches. Every time we make some research upon a certain historic events or trends, we should never ignore the reaction and position of the population or certain groups of people towards them. Because if the famous individuals are the main characters in this play of mankind, the concerned people would be minor roles or understudies while（为什么用while） the rest of them the background.（没看懂，呵呵，英文的表达太过于中文化） Without any of these elements, this play sucks(sucks,？？我又孤陋寡闻了，呵呵).
All in all, the story of famous people is a major part of the history while every scene and climax of history was starred with the memorables. The groups of nameless people who played their roles in the evolution of human society should be recognized as a whole, yet each individual of them could only face their fate of "vanishing into the air, and gone with the wind".
这篇文章的思路和条理不太清楚，建议在看看提纲，语言也不是特别好，粹然有长句，但还要夺下功夫，用词不太准确，很多常用的词没用，却用了一些生僻的词，不知道是不是边写边查德字典，呵呵，坏习惯要改哈，尽量不用吧。最后注意每段的中心，不要跑题。
批得有点狠，不要灰心，还有时间，努力哈，fighting！！

ahqiuUID: 207682

同主题，愿意看就看看吧，呵呵，可能都烦了，至少我是怕了这篇了，好难写
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ;highlight=%2Bahqiu

edgarluUID: 203648

感谢ahqiu细心批复
不过对于大部分批改处我都持保留意见，尤其是关于语言和用词方面的建议，让我甚至觉得有点意外
另外关于戒字典的建议，你忘啦是我拍你的时候提出来的，转了一圈回来了:confused:
有些词语的生僻可能是因为我对实用英语和口语化英语的偏好

[ Last edited by edgarlu on 2005-7-18 at 22:26 ]

edgarluUID: 203648

鉴于这篇文章的争议性，我把它从同主题区移到issue区来，腆着脸自顶一下，还望各位多提意见

关于以上排友提的一些意见，我找了几个有代表性的回复如下：
首段，technically原意是技术上讲，现代英语大量地将其用于口语，表示如下意思：He finished his homework by copyng myself, so technically, I did his homework.
not for the simplicity of expressing确实是败笔，以后知道了在开头论述总观点是一定要不掺一粒沙子

第二段的The famous few in the history are famous for a reason, which.....并不是无心呢喃 而是刻意为之，sth. is famous for a reason是个特定句式，重点不在reason上而是在for a reason，翻过来就是某某东西有名气是有原因的，然后which后面跟原因
Lincoln留下大量内战前及内战期间的great speechs，包括就职演说和gettysburg，而他本人至少是内战时期最有名的政治人物。从林肯身上的确看不到civil war的全部，但technically，一个人不可能代表一个时代或是历史事件的全部。
三个分论点结尾都没有做总结陈词，我个人好像潜意识里很抗拒写分段总结，不过看来严谨一点，写比不写要保险

说到第三段，回过头来讲讲我整个的结构安排
第一个论点是为了说明所有的著名人物都在历史上发挥过重大的作用，没有提事件和趋势，重点是落在famous people上
第二个论点是为了说明历史上所有的重大事件和趋势，都是由著名人物担纲主演的，重点是在significant events and trends上
第三个论点是让步
第二个论点ts后面对重大事件和趋势的渲染是为了强调，这些才是历史的精髓和栋梁，在这个前提下谁主宰了这些谁就主宰了历史。不过现在联系题目看看，这段论述可能确实不必要。
the ones有时用来指代，但直接的意思就是“那些人”的意思，后面已经限定了是“the ones they followed”，也就是他们追随的人，本来就不是用来指代
此段最后一个分论点，是说明研究对象之间的雷同性会导致研究的效果和效率低下

第四段开头的yet是用来串联whose names have been long forgotten和whose contribution to the history must be admitted 这两处限定
这段最后的比喻上面两位拍者都没看懂，可能是因为文化背景上的关系。play作名词在西方最常见的一个意思是戏剧舞台剧，著名人物是main characters，与他们相关的人是minor roles和understudies，而大众则成了戏台上的the background。那一句the concerned people would be minor roles or understudies while the rest of them the background， while后面的内容是省略用法，语法上没有问题
sucks这个词有口语经验或者看过friends的朋友都应该知道什么意思

结尾处过于追求文学性了我承认，词藻也是导致我经常限时失败的原因之一，正在努力克服中

感谢以上拍友的支持鼓励，期待更多高手的指教，拍则必复

[ Last edited by edgarlu on 2005-7-19 at 08:59 ]

chris_zhUID: 2101887

Opening most of the history books, we would always find a pattern in any brief description of important incidents, like this: In the year of xxxx, somebody did something that succeeded/failed something, which ends up with something. Even when the subject is an organization, a party or any group of people, specific names would still be mentioned and emphasized. Yes, it's true. Although technically it's those groups of people who committed those events and trends, the whole history is still written primarily with the few great names, not for the simplicity of expressing, but for their veritable "key value" to the human history.  

All the famous people in the history did make the world different in a certain way. The famous few in the history are famous for a reason, which is, in most cases, (are) their great influence to the human society at their times.这里我明白你的reason的用法，不过插入语应该把is和which放在一起，况且不是are Basically, this kind of influence could be classified as three major types: contribution, damage or controversy. To the first two kinds, the value of research is pretty obvious, since any of those reflects a significant breakthrough, turning point or frustration in history.精彩！ We could list a milky-way of such examples: a biography of Napoleon is a vivid portrait of French Revolution, so is that of Adolf Hitler to WW II; from the masterpieces of Shakespeare we see the Renaissance, from Lincoln's speeches we hear the Civil War.这样的表达真的很值得我学习 But for the last one, especially for those eventually failed to establish their theories or opinions, some would say that as controversial and unproven as they were, these famous people mean nothing to the contemporary history research. Nevertheless there is one thing they forget: the objective of history study. We research vi不能接名词 history not only for its results or milestones, but also for all the processes. Take science as an example. Lots of experiments and tests are carried out before a product or a theory could finally come into realization, but when the final report is done, would you throw all the experimental reports away? Of course not, because those tell the story of how we go through and get here, a perfect reference for next research subjects maybe, from which we could possibly avoid any unreliable decisions just like how mistakes were made before. 这句话的表达总让我觉得有些问题
段落间没有承接吗？
The most significant events and trends in history were either led or initiated by some critical characters, whose thoughts or decisions well represented the opinions carried by many of those who contributed to the history as a participant. Undoubtedly, significant events and trends are highlights in the big picture of human history as well as critical joints linking the individual eras.（好句子！） "The skeleton of history", as some would say. Every single one of them had to have one or several "heads", people who had the courage and capability to lead or organize their supporters to fulfill their destiny in history. Information about those supporters may tell us something about what happened then, but is definitely not comparable with what we can find in the ones they followed. On the other hand, the supporters are many while the leaders are few. The general similarity of the supporters decides that they are less cost-effective 怎麽理解？我有点疑问researching entities than the latter.

Admittedly, the group of people whose names have been long forgotten yet whose contribution to the history must be admitted should also have their places in our history researches. Every time we make some research upon a certain historic events or trends, we should never ignore the reaction and position of the population or certain groups of people towards them. Because if the famous individuals are the main characters in this play of mankind, the concerned people would be minor roles or understudies while the rest of them the background. Without any of these elements, this play sucks.

All in all, the story of famous people is a major part of the history while every scene and climax of history was starred with the memorables. The groups of nameless people who played their roles in the evolution of human society should be recognized as a whole, yet each individual of them could only face their fate of "vanishing into the air, and gone with the wind".
这篇文章有很多我可以学习的句子，表达，但是有的时候也确实让我有一点puzzle,注意一下细节的词法，语法，句子段落的衔接再流畅一点会更好的。其它的有的和以前的排友相同我就不重复了。

chris_zhUID: 2101887

还有请问怎麽用彩色的字体改文章啊？

edgarluUID: 203648

Originally posted by chris_zh at 2005-7-20 16:00
还有请问怎麽用彩色的字体改文章啊？

文本编辑框上面有字体，字号和颜色的选择下拉框，选中要改颜色的内容，然后到下拉框里选择对应的颜色
论坛里有个改色改字体的修改工具，地址如下
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1
我是用word里面的宏自己编了几个快捷键

chris_zhUID: 2101887

谢谢指点！