issue136 选择的稀有性 必回拍

vprzhsUID: 144409

Issue136  第9篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：44分53秒     575 words
从2005年6月24日19时32分到2005年6月24日20时44分
------题目------
The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare.
------正文------
Nowadays the issue of whether the absence of choice is very rare has been brought to public attention. I strongly recommend that there are so much choices around us, and that we will never lose the chance to make a decision between different choices. Today it is impossible for us to lack enough choices.

To begin with, our society is full of different kinds of choices. Every person at least has more than one choice daily. When we are babies, we can choose to smile, or to cry. When we are students, we can choose to study harder and harder, or to put most of our valuable time on other aspects such as playing games, having a crazy party with dear friends or drinking bear so much. When we graduate from university, there are many kinds of jobs for us to choose. Each can choose to be a just police, a normal worker, a teacher, a waiter, a doctor and so on. Different kinds of jobs will have different challenges; different choice will lead to different results. Even when all of us grow up, working as a adult, we can decide when to have a girl friend, with whom to fall in love. After we are married, we even have to consider whether we should have a baby, if we are eager to have babies, we also to have to decide how many babies we want to have. Therefore, it is evident that we have to make numerous choices until we leave this world.

Moreover, no matter what kind of jobs persons are doing, every person will have lots of things to decide. As a teacher, he or she can choose to tell all students the truth or the fault, a teacher also can choose not to inform them. As a scientist, he or she can decide to exploit some new things which do benefit to the world or do harm to the human society.

Admittedly, some people will have to keep stay with their duties. For one thing, as a doctor, his or her fate is to help people keep healthy, and fight for the fatal diseases. Although doctors are not the god, they cannot heal all kind of diseases, and they cannot save some valuable lives at some times, they have to try as many ideas as they can until nothing will work. This is the duty of a doctor: as a normal person, he or she can choose to give up, but most of doctors will not choose this. Take another example, as a police, his or her duty is to prevent evil situation, to keep all citizens in a peaceful circumstance, and make sure that the
whole society can develop smoothly. Nevertheless, police can choose to fight against the evil persons when they face them, or to avoid such things. They absolutely can choose to keep themselves in a safe place, and see the society go crazy. Although persons can make choice that benefit themselves, polices have no right to ignore the crime, they have to pursue every criminal person.

In conclusion, it seems unavoidable that the absence of choice is a circumstance that is much rare. Yet it is not the real case. In other words, we have enough chances to choose what we want to obey or discredit. We have the right to choose our own lives, no matter right or evil. And no one will be limited by the circumstance.

pciciUID: 210908

Nowadays the issue of whether the absence of choice is very rare has been brought to public attention. I strongly recommend that there are so [many] choices around us, and that we will never lose the chance to make a decision between different choices. Today it is impossible for us to lack enough choices.

To begin with, our society is full of different kinds of choices. Every person at least has more than one choice daily. When we are babies, we can choose to smile, or to cry. When we are students, we can choose to study harder and harder, or to put most of our valuable time on other aspects such as playing games, having a crazy party with dear friends or drinking bear so much. When we graduate from university, there are many kinds of jobs for us to choose. Each can choose to be a just police, a normal worker, a teacher, a waiter, a doctor and so on. Different kinds of jobs will have different challenges; different choice will lead to different results. Even when all of us grow up, working as a adult, we can decide when to have a girl friend, with whom to fall in love. After we are married, we even have to consider whether we should have a baby, if we are eager to have babies, we also to have to decide how many babies we want to have. Therefore, it is evident that we have to make numerous choices until we leave this world.
[第一论证段和我异曲同工啊，不过有些choice不是很贴切，比如babies的]
Moreover, no matter what kind of jobs persons are doing, every person will have lots of things to decide. As a teacher, he or she can choose to tell all students the truth or the fault, a teacher also can choose not to inform them. As a scientist, he or she can decide to exploit some new things which do benefit to the world or do harm to the human society.
[这一段，没有展开写，而且我认为和上一段观点重复，还是在说每个人面临很多选择]
Admittedly, some people will have to keep stay with their duties. For one thing, as a doctor, his or her fate is to help people keep healthy, and fight for the fatal diseases. Although doctors are not the god, they cannot heal all kind of diseases, and they cannot save some valuable lives at some times, they have to try as many ideas as they can until nothing will work. This is the duty of a doctor: as a normal person, he or she can choose to give up, but most of doctors will not choose this. Take another example, as a police, his or her duty is to prevent evil situation, to keep all citizens in a peaceful circumstance, and make sure that the whole society can develop smoothly. Nevertheless, police can choose to fight against the evil persons when they face them, or to avoid such things. They absolutely can choose to keep themselves in a safe place, and see the society go crazy. Although persons can make choice that benefit themselves, polices have no right to ignore the crime, they have to pursue every criminal person.
[TS其实没有把意思表述的很清楚，你如果说成“因为责任，很多时候人们别无选择，而其实这种别无选择恰恰是个人与社会责任之间的选择”会比较好]

In conclusion, it seems unavoidable that the absence of choice is a circumstance that is much rare. Yet it is not the real case. In other words, we have enough chances to choose what we want to obey or discredit. We have the right to choose our own lives, no matter right or evil. And no one will be limited by the circumstance.
[结尾和开头段没有很全面的概括好全文的意思哦。我说的很直接，见谅了，hoho~]

[总结一下，全文有两点利益还是不错的，就是生活中选者无处不在，人们会因为责任有时放弃利己的选择。但是结构上，还有中心表述上的确还需要加油~~恩，例子重在例证这一点你比我懂得早很多哦，加油！！]

sharon84UID: 2110816

：）
大致看了一下，中间两段说的都是一个意思呢，可以考虑合并
感觉你的作文思路很清晰，而且一直在限时下训练写，很好^^

快考试了，具体的语法错误我没时间细看，不好意思哦:L

fanfanzozoUID: 2114008

Originally posted by vprzhs at 2005-7-24 20:02
Issue136  第9篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：44分53秒     575 words
从2005年6月24日19时32分到2005年6月24日20时44分
------题目------
The ab ...

Nowadays the issue of whether the absence of choice is very rare把of变成that变成同谓语从句比较顺 has been brought to public attention. I strongly recommend that there are so much（many） choices around us, and that we will never lose the chance to make a decision between different choices. Today it is impossible for us to lack enough choices.

To begin with, our society is full of different kinds of choices. Every person at least has more than one choice daily. When we are babies, we can choose to smile, or to cry. When we are students, we can choose to study harder and harder, or to put most of our valuable time on other aspects such as playing games, having a crazy party with dear friends or drinking bear so muchtoo much. When we graduate from university, there are many kinds of jobs for us to choose. Each can choose to be a just police, a normal worker, a teacher, a waiter, a doctor and so on. Different kinds of jobs will have different challenges; different choice will lead to different results. Even when all of us grow up, working as a adult, we can decide when to have a girl friend, with whom to fall in love. After we are married, we even have to consider whether we should have a baby, if we are eager to have babies, we also to have to decide how many babies we want to have. Therefore, it is evident that we have to make numerous choices until we leave this world.

Moreover, no matter what kind of jobs persons are doing, every person will have lots of things to decide. As a teacher, he or she can choose to tell all students the truth or the fault, a teacher also can choose not to inform them. As a scientist, he or she can decide to exploit some new things which do benefit to the world or do harm to the human society.

Admittedly, some people will have to keep staystay本来就可延啊若非加keep也加个staying with their duties. For one thing, as a doctor, his or her fate is to help people keep healthy, and fight for the fatal diseases. Although doctors are not the god, they cannot heal all kind of diseases, and they cannot save some valuable lives at some times, they have to try as many ideas as they can until nothing will work. This is the duty of a doctor: as a normal person, he or she can choose to give up, but most of doctors will not choose this. Take another example, as a police, his or her duty is to prevent evil situation, to keep all citizens in a peaceful circumstance, and make sure that the
whole society can develop smoothly. Nevertheless, police can choose to fight against the evil persons when they face them, or to avoid such things. They absolutely can choose to keep themselves in a safe place, and see the society go crazy. Although persons can make choice that benefit themselves, polices have no right to ignore the crime, they have to pursue every criminal person.

In conclusion, it seems unavoidable that the absence of choice is a circumstance that is much rare. Yet it is not the real case. In other words, we have enough chances to choose what we want to obey or discredit. We have the right to choose our own lives, no matter right or evil. And no one will be limited by the circumstance.
例子很丰富，一直在列举不同的人有不同的选择，最终我们作出了选择，可是觉得没驳到点子上，等我写完了再和你交流吧，四十分钟写这么多真壮观，传授些经验吧

vprzhsUID: 144409

To Pcici

[TS其实没有把意思表述的很清楚，你如果说成“因为责任，很多时候人们别无选择，而其实这种别无选择恰恰是个人与社会责任之间的选择”会比较好]

你这个意见说得很好，茅塞顿开，谢谢。
In conclusion, it seems unavoidable that the absence of choice is a circumstance that is much rare. Yet it is not the real case. In other words, we have enough chances to choose what we want to obey or discredit. We have the right to choose our own lives, no matter right or evil. And no one will be limited by the circumstance.
[结尾和开头段没有很全面的概括好全文的意思哦。我说的很直接，见谅了，hoho~]

[总结一下，全文有两点利益还是不错的，就是生活中选者无处不在，人们会因为责任有时放弃利己的选择。但是结构上，还有中心表述上的确还需要加油~~恩，例子重在例证这一点你比我懂得早很多哦，加油！！]

其实本来第三段我是写在第二段的，后来写着，写偏了，只好弄到下面了。

To sharon84.
  你要考试了，我也不敢太苛求你，不过考完可以认真帮我看看哦。。呵呵。。。好运。

To fanfanzozo :
想在有限的时间内尽量写多一些么？练习 Free writing, 简而言之，就是打文章时不要多虑，就不断往上打字就可以了。不要担心语法错，也不要担心句子不够地道。想到什么英语就打出来就是了。具体的我是看了一篇文章，有兴趣我可以发与你参考参考。

[ Last edited by vprzhs on 2005-7-25 at 20:01 ]