issue52 来交作业..~~~

esmeirasUID: 202885

52"Education encourages students to question and criticize, and therefore does little to promote social harmony."   

581words
提纲:
1: 思辩与社会不和谐没有因果关系.
2; 教育里不只有思辩,还有许多其他方面是促进社会和谐的.
3. 社会不和谐是由于其他严重的原因导致的.


Does questioning and criticizing addressed by education has little effect on enhancing social harmony? The speaker believes so, although I disagree. In my point of view, questioning and criticizing have more positive than negative effect on social harmony.

To begin with, questioning and criticizing equip students with the ability of critical thinking, with the help of which can students dive into the social problems and obtain a perceptive view of the society. Cognitively speaking, students always learn theories and rules in the books at the first step, and assimilate them by questioning and criticizing at the second step. Finally, they understand the problem thoroughly and accept or even improve it. This rule applies well in social aspect, too. Having seen the existing social problems, it is understandable for a student to question and criticize on these issues and express his dissatisfactions. Nevertheless, the ability of questioning and criticizing will push him to find the hiding causes and possible solutions of these problems and therefore contribute to the social harmony. Unfortunately, the speaker failed to realize that. Without questioning and criticizing, a student would be dull, callous and indifferent. Although it might be safe to say that questioning and criticizing is a doubled-edged sward, its benefits surplus unfavorable consequences.

In addition, Education itself does not only require students to question and criticize. The purpose of education, as John Henry Newman said, is “training good members of society." That is to say, the ultimate goal for education is to pave the way students to get used to and contribute to the society, and questioning and criticizing is just one of the requirements to achieve that goal. Some other parts of education, for example, theories in the books provide student with the basic knowledge he needs in the society, and working practice helps him to master the skills in his future work, and even the part-time job that most American youngsters do from early age is an effective way to help young people know the society before their independent. Thus, education is a potent force in increasing social integrity.

Finally, we might also want to ask: what are the most important causes of social conflict? Is questioning and criticizing of students a significant cause of those conflicts?  A careful examine of history would reveal that the economic recession and religious resentment have caused the most social discord. Severe social turmoil always connected with economic recession.  Before President Roosevelt was elected, the whole American economy plunged into the Big Depression during 1929-1933. At that time, the economic was at the edge of collapse, and the society was in a chaos state.  In the recent year, America is facing a economic decline, although not so severe as before, the unemployment and income gap have already caused a lot of disputes.  Besides economic factors, religious resentment has always been the core of ferment in the history. The endless hatred between Israel and Palestine is rooted in religious resentment. Even within the immigrant countries like America and Canada, people of different religious groups regard each other as infidels and are hard to give and take. Having considered that, the problems caused by student's questioning and criticizing is overshadowed.

In conclusion, from what have been discussed, education is the reason why society is progressing, and questioning and criticizing is the driving force of innovation. Instead of replacing questioning and criticizing, people should make efforts on prospering the economy and tolerate different religious believes in order to achieve social harmony.

11yvetteUID: 2102418

我来拍拍~~

11yvetteUID: 2102418

Does questioning and criticizing addressed by education has little effect on enhancing social harmony? The speaker believes so, although I disagree. In my point of view, questioning and criticizing have more positive than negative effect on social harmony.

To begin with, questioning and criticizing equip students with the ability of critical thinking, with the help of which can students dive into the social problems and obtain a perceptive view of the society.[这里观点提得很好啊] Cognitively speaking, students always learn theories and rules in the books at the first step, and assimilate them by questioning and criticizing at the second step. Finally, they understand the problem thoroughly and accept or even improve it. [这么分步地写显得条理很清晰,学习ing] This rule applies well in social aspect, too. Having seen the existing social problems, it is understandable for a student to question and criticize on these issues and express his dissatisfactions. Nevertheless, the ability of questioning and criticizing will push him to find the hiding causes and possible solutions of these problems and therefore contribute to the social harmony. Unfortunately, the speaker failed to realize that. Without questioning and criticizing, a student would be dull, callous and indifferent. Although it might be safe to say that questioning and criticizing is a doubled-edged sward, its benefits surplus unfavorable consequences.

In addition, Education itself does not only require students to question and criticize. The purpose of education, as John Henry Newman said, is “training good members of society." That is to say, the ultimate goal for education is to pave the way students to get used to and contribute to the society, and questioning and criticizing is just one of the requirements to achieve that goal. Some other parts of education, for example, theories in the books provide student with the basic knowledge he needs in the society, and working practice helps him to master the skills in his future work, and even the part-time job that most American youngsters do from early age is an effective way to help young people know the society before their independent. Thus, education is a potent force in increasing social integrity.

Finally, we might also want to ask: what are the most important causes of social conflict? Is questioning and criticizing of students a significant cause of those conflicts?  A careful examine [用名词examination吧] of history would reveal that the economic recession and religious resentment have caused the most social discord. Severe social turmoil always connected with economic recession.  Before President Roosevelt was elected, the whole American economy plunged into the Big Depression during 1929-1933. At that time, the economic [economy] was at the edge of collapse, and the society was in a chaos state.  In the [去掉] recent years, America [好像不经常看到用America, United States常用一些吧~] is facing an economic decline, although not so severe as before, the unemployment and income gap have already caused a lot of disputes.  Besides economic factors, religious resentment has always been the core of ferment in the history. The endless hatred between Israel and Palestine is rooted in religious resentment. [这个例子举得好] Even within the immigrant countries like America and Canada, people of different religious groups regard each other as infidels and are hard to give and take. Having considered that, the problems caused by student's questioning and criticizing is overshadowed.这方面的观点我没想到啊~~

In conclusion, from what have been discussed, education is the reason why society is progressing, and questioning and criticizing is the driving force of innovation. Instead of replacing questioning and criticizing, people should make efforts on prospering the economy and tolerate different religious believes in order to achieve social harmony.

写得真好啊~~
词句,语言方面真是没得说,观点条理也清晰,想狠拍都狠不起来:L
不过感觉B2展开得不够充分,尤其是在讲教育的其他方面对于社会协调性的促进有点泛泛了
而且结尾段也将文章的总体归纳了出来,我的结尾就很草(不是想草,而是觉得很难做到升华主题:()
总之是太赞了,以后还看你的文章学习~:handshake

[ Last edited by 11yvette on 2005-7-27 at 23:09 ]

esmeirasUID: 202885

大大, 我自己改了3天啊   T_T  改比写的时间长到哪里去了
写完又怕自己跑题,还有B2死活就挤了那么点牙膏, 深入不进去,  才发到坛子上来
郁闷ing...~~~~

11yvetteUID: 2102418

赞啊~~

其实B2能够在没有举例得情况下写得那么多那么有说服力
已经很好了
要不想想用什么例子使其更具体些~~~

星星之火UID: 2107154

（很认真地看了一下）

issue52 来交作业..~~~

52"Education encourages students to question and criticize, and therefore does little to promote social harmony."   

581words
提纲:
1: 思辩与社会不和谐没有因果关系.
2; 教育里不只有思辩,还有许多其他方面是促进社会和谐的.
3. 社会不和谐是由于其他严重的原因导致的.


Does questioning and criticizing addressed by education has（have） little effect on enhancing social harmony? The speaker believes so, although I disagree.(这一句感觉不爽) In my point of view, questioning and criticizing have more positive than negative effect on social harmony.（总的来说开头简洁明了，风格很值得学习！）
To begin with, questioning and criticizing equip students with the ability of critical thinking, with the help of which can students dive into the social problems and obtain a perceptive view of the society. Cognitively speaking, students always learn theories and rules in the books at the first step, and assimilate them by questioning and criticizing at the second step. Finally, they understand the problem thoroughly and accept or even improve it. （这几句的说理非常有条理，读着特别舒服，first, second, finally 起到了很好的做用）This rule applies well in social aspect, too. （过渡得很自然）Having seen the existing social problems, it is understandable for a student to question and criticize on these issues and express his dissatisfactions. Nevertheless, the ability of questioning and criticizing will push him to find the hiding causes and possible solutions of these problems and therefore contribute to the social harmony. （我觉得这一层说理不如前面好，也有点浅，没有深入展开）Unfortunately, the speaker failed to realize that. Without questioning and criticizing, a student would be dull, callous and indifferent. Although it might be safe to say that questioning and criticizing is a doubled-edged sward（前面并没有提到负面影响，突然说双刃剑有点突然，认为前面没有提到的意思不要在总结距离出现为好）, its benefits surplus unfavorable consequences. （我感觉这一段说的是两个层面，一是个人的学习，一是对社会的影响，可以考虑分成两段说明questioning and criticizing 的好处。再就是本段后部分的说理还没有展开）
In addition, Education itself does not only require students to question and criticize. The purpose of education, as John Henry Newman said, is “training good members of society." That is to say, （过渡的自然）the ultimate goal for education is to pave the way students to get used to and contribute to the society, and questioning and criticizing is just one of the requirements to achieve that goal. Some other parts of education, for example, theories in the books provide student with the basic knowledge he needs in the society, and working practice helps him to master the skills in his future work, and even the part-time job that most American youngsters do from early age is an effective way to help young people know the society before their independent.(举完例子最好能稍微展开一下，也可考虑只保留一个例子展开写，也可以考虑用一下排比句效果会更好) Thus, education is a potent force in increasing social integrity.

Finally, we might also want to ask: what are the most important causes of social conflict? Is questioning and criticizing of students a significant cause of those conflicts?  A careful examine of history would reveal （好像argu的句型啊，真是触类旁通阿）that the economic recession and religious resentment have caused the most social discord. Severe social turmoil always [color=Red]（最好不要用这么绝对化的词，给自己留的余地太小）connected with economic recession.  Before President Roosevelt was elected, the whole American economy plunged into the Big Depression during 1929-1933. At that time, the economic was at the edge of collapse, and the society was in a chaos state. In the recent year, America is facing a economic decline, although not so severe as before, the unemployment and income gap have already caused a lot of disputes. （例子非常精彩，最好两个例子之间有个过渡句） Besides economic factors, religious resentment has always been the core of ferment in the history. The endless hatred between Israel and Palestine is rooted in religious resentment. Even within the immigrant countries like America and Canada, people of different religious groups regard each other as infidels and are hard to give and take. Having considered that, the problems caused by student's questioning and criticizing is overshadowed.（这一段的举例非常值得学习，但个人认为这一段选择的论点应再斟酌一下）
In conclusion, from what have been discussed, education is the reason why society is progressing, and questioning and criticizing is the driving force of innovation. Instead of replacing questioning and criticizing, people should make efforts on prospering the economy and tolerate different religious believes in order to achieve social harmony.


总体感觉是离运用得比较好，文字也不错，读完后自己也感觉学到了不少东西。
一个最想提的建议是，我总感到作者想把思维发散开，比如各论点的内容跨度比较大，还有段内想要表达的意思也比较多，这样虽然内容显得比较充实，对字数也会有好处，但个人认为在这么少的字数内涉及的内容太多了容易在逻辑上显得不清晰，不严谨。我觉得体现严谨的思维是gre作文最主要的，在此基础上如果再有像本文这么大的信息量不得高分才怪呢！

以上都是个人观点，很是倾佩，希望有时间能指点一下我的作文！！

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D8

esmeirasUID: 202885

谢谢! 感动ing..~~
楼上的, 一会就回

esmeirasUID: 202885

说实话, 我最痛恨写议论文了..~~~  高考的议论文都写得很砸呢 :)
现在自己最大的毛病就是思维不严密,逻辑性差啊 T_T
当然, 审题切入也够伤脑筋了,要是跑题还不歇菜啊..~~~~
谢谢两位,你们的意见我会仔细考虑改进的.
当然,回拍也必狠啊  :)

esmeirasUID: 202885

quote:  .（这一段的举例非常值得学习，但个人认为这一段选择的论点应再斟酌一下）

能不能说具体点? 比如给个方向?

eileen8172UID: 202314

Does questioning and criticizing addressed by education has little effect on enhancing social harmony? The speaker believes so, although（while如何？） I disagree. In my point of view, questioning and criticizing have（两个不可数，谓语还是用复数形式吧？） more positive than negative effect on social harmony.(开头简单明了，直奔主题，值得我学习！)

To begin with, questioning and criticizing equip students with the ability of critical thinking, with the help of which can students（为什么用倒装啊？不明白） dive into the social problems and obtain a perceptive view of the society. Cognitively speaking, students always learn theories and rules in the books at the first step, and assimilate them by questioning and criticizing at the second step. Finally, they understand the problem thoroughly and accept or even improve it. This rule applies well in social aspect, too. Having seen the existing social problems, it is understandable for a student to question and criticize on these issues and express his dissatisfactions. Nevertheless, the ability of questioning and criticizing will push him to find the hiding causes and possible solutions of these problems and therefore（多余？累赘） contribute to the social harmony. Unfortunately, the speaker failed to realize that. Without questioning and criticizing, a student would be dull, callous and indifferent（应该升华一下与题目联系上，否则觉得有点多余，跟主题无关）. Although it might be safe to say that questioning and criticizing is a doubled-edged sward, its benefits surplus unfavorable consequences.

In addition, Education itself does not only require students to question and criticize. The purpose of education, as John Henry Newman said, is “training good members of society." That is to say, the ultimate goal for education is to pave the way students to get used to and contribute to the society, and questioning and criticizing is just one of the requirements to achieve that goal.（好！流畅！） Some other parts of education, for example, theories in the books provide student with the basic knowledge he needs in the society, and working practice（和教育有关吗？是说社会上的教育？） helps him to master the skills in his future work, and even the part-time job that most American youngsters do from early age is an effective way to help young people know the society before their independent. Thus, education is a potent force in increasing social integrity.（也许合作精神、与人沟通能力可以提一下）

Finally, we might also want to ask: what are the most important causes of social conflict? Is（复数？） questioning and criticizing of students a significant cause of those conflicts?  A careful examine of history would reveal that the economic recession and religious resentment have caused the most social discord（好！）. Severe social turmoil always connected with economic recession.  Before President Roosevelt was elected, the whole American economy plunged into the Big Depression during 1929-1933. At that time, the economic was at the edge of collapse, and the society was in a chaos state.  In the recent year, America is facing a(an) economic decline, although not so severe as before, the unemployment and income gap have already caused a lot of disputes.  Besides economic factors, religious resentment has always been the core of ferment in the history. The endless hatred between Israel and Palestine is rooted in religious resentment. Even within the immigrant countries like America and Canada, people of different religious groups regard each other as infidels and are hard to give and take. Having considered that, the problems caused by student's questioning and criticizing is overshadowed.（这段的例子很是值得学习，写得不错。）

In conclusion, from what have been discussed, education is the reason why society is progressing, and questioning and criticizing is the driving force of innovation. Instead of replacing questioning and criticizing, people should make efforts on prospering the economy and tolerate（不是容忍吧？感觉调整、调和更好一些） different religious believes in order to achieve social harmony.

整体来看，写得很不错，尤其提纲很好，正文感觉还是有例子使文章看起来有血有肉，比较充实，第二段虽然论证有条理，但是还是觉得缺点什么。总之，还是很值得我学习的。

esmeirasUID: 202885

谢谢各位兄弟姐妹! 大家辛苦了,谢谢大家的精力与时间!
我今天会再好好改改,看今晚或是明天白天把修改后的贴上来.
小康, 你的作文昨天已回拍.
eileen, 有需要我帮忙的么? 请跟贴, 混一行有一行的规矩哈:) 偶是很守行规滴...~~~

nancy1213UID: 140417

52"Education encourages students to question and criticize, and therefore does little to promote social harmony."   

581words
提纲:
1: 思辩与社会不和谐没有因果关系.
2; 教育里不只有思辩,还有许多其他方面是促进社会和谐的.
3. 社会不和谐是由于其他严重的原因导致的.


Does questioning and criticizing addressed by education has little effect on enhancing social harmony? The speaker believes so, although I disagree（although 在前面的多 这里看着对不对呢？）. In my point of view, questioning and criticizing have more positive than negative effect on social harmony.

To begin with, questioning and criticizing equip students with the ability of critical thinking, with the help of which can students dive into the social problems and obtain a perceptive view of the society. Cognitively speaking, students always learn theories and rules in the books at the first step, andthen assimilate them by questioning and criticizing at the second step. Finally, they understand the problem thoroughly and accept or even improve it. This rule applies well in social aspect, tooin the social level. Having seen the existing social problems, it is understandable for a student to question and criticize on these issues and express his dissatisfactions. Nevertheless, the ability of questioning and criticizing will push him to find the hiding causes and possible solutions of these problems and therefore contribute to the social harmony. Unfortunately, the speaker failed to realize that. in shortWithout questioning and criticizing, a student would be dull, callous and indifferent这些并列的好。. Although it might be safe to say that questioning and criticizing is a doubled-edged sward, its benefits surplus unfavorable consequences.

In addition, Education itself does not only require students to question and criticize. The purpose of education, as John Henry Newman said, is “training good members of society." That is to say, the ultimate goal for education is to pave the way students to get used to and contribute to the society, and questioning and criticizing is just one of the requirements to achieve that goal. Some other parts of education, for example, theories in the books provide student with the basic knowledge he needs in the society, and working practice helps him to master the skills in his future work, and even the part-time job that most American youngsters do from early age is an effective way to help young people know the society before their independent. Thus, education is a potent force in increasing social integrity.这一段讲的是教育促进社会和谐吗？好像与开头的观点不太一致欧。

Finally, we might also want to ask: what are the most important causes of social conflict? Is questioning and criticizing of students a significant cause of those conflicts?  A careful examine of history would reveal that the economic recession and religious resentment have caused the most social discord. Severe social turmoil always connected with economic recession.  Before President Roosevelt was elected, the whole American economy plunged into the Big Depression during 1929-1933. At that time, the economic was at the edge of collapse, and the society was in a chaos state. （我觉得这个写的很好。） In the recent year, America is facing a economic decline, although not so severe as before, the unemployment and income gap have already caused a lot of disputes.  Besides economic factors, religious resentment has always been the core of ferment in the history. The endless hatred between Israel and Palestine is rooted in religious resentment. Even within the immigrant countries like America and Canada, people of different religious groups regard each other as infidels and are hard to give and take. Having considered that, the problems caused by student's questioning and criticizing is overshadowed.（这段写的很值得我学习，呵呵）

In conclusion, from what have been discussed, education is the reason why society is progressing, and questioning and criticizing is the driving force of innovation. Instead of replacing questioning and criticizing, people should make efforts on prospering the economy and tolerate different religious believes in order to achieve social harmony.

总体感觉写的挺好的 继续努力吧 呵呵:victory:

Pluto13003780UID: 2118087

现在才来，不帮你改了

玻璃胶带UID: 2122694

lz写得很好啊...
可是...弱弱地提个建议,感觉有点arguement 的感觉   
中间部分再加一段  过分的吹毛求疵会导致社会的不和谐 会不会更好一点呢??