issue37 V6站队 7.30

kolu_renUID: 158196

Issue 37  In most societies, competition generally has more of a negative than a positive effect.

提纲：
1.竞争的负面性
2.各种方法抑制不正当竞争
3.从国家、行业、个人三个方面提出竞争的好处


Competition which leads to the fierce imagination of contending to opponents for survival, is often regarded as negative to us. Is this the fact of the truth? I concede that there are some negative factors of it. otherwise, my view is that this assertion is true only in some cases. A careful examination should be taken before we reach the conclusion.

In order to demonstrate the negative side of competition, I will demonstrate some examples. No matter where over-focus on the competition will increase jealous, damage the relationship between colleagues, thus impede cooperation. If we have a glance at the market, such example can be found easily. For the purpose of appealing the attraction of customers and then earning a great share in the market, many firms adopt to reduce the quality of products and their services. In a short term, they seems to be the winner temporarily, but eventually such action inevitable leads to undermine their reputation and lose the reliability of customers, even devastate the principles of market and make a disorder which results in economic instability and inflation.

To that end, a serial of actions have been taken to prevent injustice competition. Moral education, especially to the young students, now has been raised to an important position and imbued students with the right to tell the right from wrong and a comprehensive value towards world and community. To avoid such situation described above, each country also establish a set of law to restrain the behavior of firms, such as prohibiting abnormal price reduction, proper service provided by firms within the guarantee period.

Nevertheless, we cannot overlook the benefits of competition. I will argue this point in three levels. At country level, competing drives each nation to pay more effort and funds on its economic, science, technology and military to pursuit the aim that strengthens its comprehensive nation level. At trade level, competition no longer exists in the same field as traditional regards, which spreads to the different fields. Maybe ten years ago, we cannot image that the competition between Internet and travel. Products that can be reduced to digital “bits and bits” can now be shipped anywhere in the world without any human travel. The introduction of teleconference declines the cost of business—related trips. At personal level, a commissioned salesperson’s compensation and sometimes the potential for promotion, is based on comparative sales performance of coworkers. Working as competitors a firm’s individual salespeople maximize products—in terms of profit—both for themselves and for their firm. Consequently, comparison exerts its effort on the all around of our lives.

In sum, generally speaking that competition has more of a negative than a positive effect without any exploring both sides is irresponsible. From my point of view, on balance these two and taking advantage of its benefit is more adoptive.


这是我的重写之作希望能有所提高！欢迎狠批，请留下链接互批！！！:handshake

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

站个座

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

Competition which leads to the fierce imagination of contending to opponents for survival, is often regarded as negative to us. Is this the fact of the truth? I concede that there are some negative factors of it. otherwise, my view is that this assertion is true only in some cases. A careful examination should be taken before we reach the conclusion.

In order to demonstrate the negative side of competition, I will demonstrate some examples. No matter where over-focus on the competition will increase jealous, damage the relationship between colleagues, thus impede cooperation. If we have a glance at the market, such example can be found easily.（ For the purpose of appealing the attraction of customers and then earning a great share in the market, many firms adopt to reduce the quality of products and their services. 句子改动一下，最好写成：因为竞争打来了巨大的压力，公司无奈之下，降低产品质量）In a short term, they seems to be the winner temporarily, but （eventually such action inevitable leads to undermine their reputation and lose the reliability of customers, even devastate the principles of market and make a disorder which results in economic instability and inflation.不错，写得蛮好）

To that end,（ a serial of actions have been taken to prevent injustice competition.我觉得应该过渡一下，说明竞争可以，但是不正当竞争就不好） Moral education, especially to the young students, now has been raised to an important position and imbued students with the right to tell the right from wrong and a comprehensive value towards world and community. To avoid such situation described above, each country also establish a set of law to restrain the behavior of firms, such as prohibiting abnormal price reduction, proper service provided by firms within the guarantee period.（分析得不错）

（三个level写的不错）Nevertheless, we cannot overlook the benefits of competition. I will argue this point in three levels.（ At country level,） competing drives each nation to pay more effort and funds on its economic, science, technology and military to pursuit the aim that strengthens its comprehensive nation level.（ At trade level, ）competition no longer exists in the same field as traditional regards, which spreads to the different fields. Maybe ten years ago, we cannot image that the competition between Internet and travel. Products that can be reduced to digital “bits and bits” can now be shipped anywhere in the world without any human travel. The introduction of teleconference declines the cost of business—related trips. （At personal level, ）a commissioned salesperson’s compensation and sometimes the potential for promotion, is based on comparative sales performance of coworkers. Working as competitors a firm’s individual salespeople maximize products—in terms of profit—both for themselves and for their firm. Consequently, comparison exerts its effort on the all around of our lives.（哈哈，你的让步很精彩，说得非常strong，这个不知道是否会影响你的body1 body2，我觉得你的让步有点over function了）

In sum, generally speaking that competition has more of a negative than a positive effect without any exploring both sides is irresponsible. From my point of view, on balance these two and taking advantage of its benefit is more adoptive.
（总的来说，从语言，分析都不错，就是让步部分我觉得太强了，有点影响你的body1 body2，如果你觉得让步角度好些，可以改一改，写competition的positive一面，加油~~~）

kolu_renUID: 158196

nickaaronlee,多谢你的鼓励！
看到你的点评很受鼓励，其实这篇是我重写以及资料收集后的习作，刚刚开始学写，这是我的第二篇作文，上次贴上来的时候被批得都快漏了！不过也幸亏了大家的点评，才让我有了些写作的方向！