issue6 V6站队 7.30

dinddind2003UID: 196353

Issue6 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：110分54秒     437 words
从2005年6月29日17时21分到2005年6月29日19时110分
------题目------
The most effective way to understand contemporary culture is to analyze the trends of its youth
. 提纲：1。年轻人作为社会的未来代表了流行文化的方向及其发展趋势
       2．年轻人作为社会的组成部分只能代表一部分文化，另一大部分是成年人他们代表了社会的主流文化
       3．研究一个社会的文化还应当从其风俗入手

------正文------
When we comprehend a contemporary culture, it is true that it is important to analyze the trends of its youth who are viewed as a mirror of the culture, however we should also take other aspects of the society into account.

Admittedly, youth full of energy and as the future of the society are the representation of the popular culture and the development of the culture. In a market, a theater, a place of amusement or on a street there are so many youth that if not it would be very dull. Youth are such an important section of the society, that what they want to buy will have a large market, what movie they want to watch will be one with pull at the box office, what place they want to travel will be a touristy attraction. It is not only that the youth show the popularity of the culture, but also the culture insisted by the youth which is rich in vitality is very possible to become the counterculture in the future.

However, only analyzing the youth which is a part of society and neglecting another important part of society as the adult is incomplete. The adult represent the counterculture of the society. Most workers are adults and they create the major possessions of the society. They are the very important consumer of the society without which many costly commodities such as houses, cars and expensive household appliances and so on will have no markets. In fact, how the adult spend time everyday determines the society life manner, how much information the adult hold determines the technical level the society reach. Still, their habit even has influence on the youth who are brought up by the adult. Thus, we can know the main stream of the culture through the study of the adult.

Furthermore, each country has is own domestic culture which may last for hundreds of years. To analyze tradition is also an important way to understand contemporary culture.
For example, Carnival is a festal in Brazil dated from long ago and today Brazilian may even still celebrate this feast for as long as two weeks; in Iran where nearly everyone is Muslim, a Muslim woman has to submerged herself in clothes except the eyes in front of man who is not her family. Thus, to study these traditions can help people know more about the culture of the society.

To sum up, we should analyze the youth as the majority of the society to know the tendency of the culture, but if we neglect the other part of the society what we understand of the contemporary culture is incomplete.

monkeydryUID: 183691

不错~~通顺,流畅,例子develop的不错,结尾是不是时间不够仓促了点?
ps:用了110分钟??

zehuaUID: 199246

我来看看

zehuaUID: 199246

When we comprehend a contemporary culture, （it is true that it is important 这样太罗嗦） to analyze the trends of its youth who are viewed as a mirror of the culture, however we should also take other aspects of the society into account.

Admittedly, youth（WITH） full of energy and as the future of the society are the representation of the popular culture and the development of the culture. In a market, a theater, a place of amusement or on a street there are so many youth that（ if not it would be very dull 表述不清）. Youth are such an important section of the society, that（ what they want to buy will have a large market表述不清）, （what movie they want to watch 表述不清） （will be one with pull 表述不清）at the box office, what place they want to travel will be a touristy attraction. It is not only that the youth show the popularity of the culture, but also the culture insisted by the youth which is rich in vitality is very possible to become the counterculture in the future.（这段句法上问题比较大）

However, only analyzing the youth which is a part of society and neglecting another important part of society as the adult is incomplete. The adult represent the counterculture of the society. Most workers are adults and they create the major possessions of the society. They are the very important consumer of the society without which many costly commodities such as houses, cars and expensive household appliances and so on will have no markets. In fact, how the adult spend time everyday determines the society life manner, how much information the adult hold determines the technical level the society reach. Still, their habit even has influence on the youth who are brought up by the adult. Thus, we can know the main stream of the culture through the study of the adult.

counterculture
反传统［主流］文化（60和70年代在美国青少年中盛行的一种思潮）
这里用的对嘛？

Furthermore, each country has is own domestic culture which may last for hundreds of years. To analyze tradition is also an important way to understand contemporary culture. （这里还有再分析一下再举例就好了）For example, Carnival is a festal in Brazil dated from long ago and today Brazilian may even still celebrate this feast for as long as two weeks; in Iran where nearly everyone is Muslim, a Muslim woman has to submerged herself in clothes except the eyes in front of man who is not her family. Thus, to study these traditions can help people know more about the culture of the society.（这段写的还不错。就是短了点。）

To sum up, we should analyze the youth as the majority of the society to know the tendency of the culture, but if we neglect the other part of the society what we understand of the contemporary culture is incomplete.

总的说来语言表达上有欠缺，逻辑上不错。
现在给你布置个任务：5分钟内把这篇改成issue203:lol

dinddind2003UID: 196353

遵命，但是我想作为明天的作业，因为今天的提纲都列好了，先看看队长的意见

dinddind2003UID: 196353

队长，我有几点不明阿：
1  In a market, a theater, a place of amusement or on a street there are so many youth that（ if not it would be very dull 表述不清）. Youth are such an important section of the society, that（ what they want to buy will have a large market表述不清）, （what movie they want to watch 表述不清） （will be one with pull 表述不清）at the box office,
不大清楚哪里表述的不好呢？我的意思是：在市场，影院，娱乐场所或者是街上有很多的年轻人以至于不那样就会很冷清。年轻人是社会如此重要的一部分以至于他们想买的东西就会有大市场，他们想看的电影就会有票房。。。。。

还有就是counterculture我是错了，应该是the main stream of the society

其他意见我没有什么疑问的，一律改正

明天的作业就是改写了

dinddind2003UID: 196353

错了，5分钟吗，那不算明天的作业，是小练习，我会尽快改的

zehuaUID: 199246

改成there are so many youth that without which such places would be very dull.这样语法上才说的通。但是这样的句子还是很丑。最好分开。
你现阶段尽量少用复杂句。现尽可能把意思说清楚。过段时间你会觉得简单句很幼稚，到时候再加复杂句