issue51 求拍砖！

ouymUID: 2109118

第二篇，求拍砖！回拍给链接，虽然水平有限，但我会尽力的！:handshake
Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed
to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.【51】
教育只有被专门设计来满足每一个学生个人需求和兴趣的时候才是真正有效率的。
Many people may sincerely believe that only when education is specially designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student, then will it be truly effective. However, one dose not have to go very far to see that this type of education is usually unpractical and could hardly come to reality.
In the first place，each student would have his or her own distinctively needs and interests. Hardly can one know exactly what a particular student is interested in and what curriculums will suit him or her. Particularly when one is very young, he or she may even not know that there have such curriculums as mathematics, physics, history, and so on. So how does he or she known what courses are interesting and what should be learnt first and what should not. For example, when Gregor Mendel was a school child, how could anyone know this child will be interested in heredity, a modern science which did not exist at that time. Furthermore, with one’s age and knowledge increased, his or her interest might change greatly. For example, when I was young, I heard a lot of fascinating stories about Albert Einstein from my father, so I was eager to learn physics. But when I did have the opportunity to learn it in junior school, I found it so boring that I did not love physics at all. Nevertheless I still love the stories of Einstein but I just lose interest in physics. In the other hand, other subjects such as computer that I had never known when I was a little child are becoming more and more attractive to me. So when children go to school, their parents and school and even the children themselves could hardly know what are their individual needs and interests.
In the second place, students’ interest is relatively infinite and the curriculums that a school can provide are limited. It is impossible to ask a school to satisfy all the needs of his students. For example, after watching TV which introduces Beijing opera, a traditional art in China, or traveling to China, an American child might develop a strong interest in Beijing opera. However, it is very difficult for his or her school to provide him or her teachers who are accomplished in this Chinese traditional art and relative facilities.
Admittedly, as the saying goes, interest is the best teacher. If one is interesting in what one is learning, one can learn more effectively. So under the premise that school can offer sufficient teachers and facilities, school should try to meet the individual needs and interests of each student in order to make education more effectively.
In sum, it seems to be true that education should be designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. But as far as I am concerned, it lacks of maneuverability.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-31 at 23:31 ]

ouymUID: 2109118

第二篇，求拍砖！回拍给链接，虽然水平有限，但我会尽力的！

Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed
to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.【51】
教育只有被专门设计来满足每一个学生个人需求和兴趣的时候才是真正有效率的。

Many people may sincerely believe that only when education is specially designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student, then will it be truly effective. However, one dose not have to go very far to see that this type of education is usually unpractical and could hardly come to reality.

In the first place，each student would have his or her own distinctively needs and interests. Hardly can one know exactly what a particular student is interested in and what curriculums will suit him or her. Particularly when one is very young, he or she may even not know that there have such curriculums as mathematics, physics, history, and so on. So how does he or she known what courses are interesting and what should be learnt first and what should not. For example, when Gregor Mendel was a school child, how could anyone know this child will be interested in heredity, a modern science which did not exist at that time. Furthermore, with one’s age and knowledge increased, his or her interest might change greatly. For example, when I was young, I heard a lot of fascinating stories about Albert Einstein from my father, so I was eager to learn physics. But when I did have the opportunity to learn it in junior school, I found it so boring that I did not love physics at all. Nevertheless I still love the stories of Einstein but I just lose interest in physics. In the other hand, other subjects such as computer that I had never known when I was a little child are becoming more and more attractive to me. So when children go to school, their parents and school and even the children themselves could hardly know what are their individual needs and interests.

In the second place, students’ interest is relatively infinite and the curriculums that a school can provide are limited. It is impossible to ask a school to satisfy all the needs of his students. For example, after watching TV which introduces Beijing opera, a traditional art in China, or traveling to China, an American child might develop a strong interest in Beijing opera. However, it is very difficult for his or her school to provide him or her teachers who are accomplished in this Chinese traditional art and relative facilities.

Admittedly, as the saying goes, interest is the best teacher. If one is interesting in what one is learning, one can learn more effectively. So under the premise that school can offer sufficient teachers and facilities, school should try to meet the individual needs and interests of each student in order to make education more effectively.

In sum, it seems to be true that education should be designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. But as far as I am concerned, it lacks of maneuverability.

因发帖时忘了预览一下，发完之后觉得太难看了，自己又编辑了一下，再发上来！

real_vcUID: 195631

Many people may sincerely believe that only when education is specially designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student, then will it be truly effective. However, one dose not have to go very far to see that this type of education is usually unpractical and could hardly come to reality.

In the first place，each student would have his or her own distinctively needs and interests. Hardly can one know exactly what a particular student is interested in and what curriculums will suit him or her. Particularly when one is very young, he or she may even not know that there have such curriculums as mathematics, physics, history, and so on. So how does he or she known what courses are interesting and what should be learnt first and what should not. For example, when Gregor Mendel was a school child, how could anyone know this child will be interested in heredity, a modern science which did not exist at that time. Furthermore, with one’s age and knowledge increased, his or her interest might change greatly.( For example, when I was young, I heard a lot of fascinating stories about Albert Einstein from my father, so I was eager to learn physics. But when I did have the opportunity to learn it in junior school, I found it so boring that I did not love physics at all.) 据说以自己为例说服力不强Nevertheless I still love the stories of Einstein but I just lose interest in physics. 多余In the other hand, other subjects such as computer that I had never known when I was a little child are becoming more and more attractive to me. So when children go to school, their parents and school and even the children themselves could hardly know what are their individual needs and interests.

In the second place, students’ interest is relatively infinite and the curriculums that a school can provide are limited. It is impossible to ask a school to satisfy all the needs of his students. For example, after watching TV which introduces Beijing opera, a traditional art in China, or traveling to China, an American child might develop a strong interest in Beijing opera. However, it is very difficult for his or her school to provide him or her teachers who are accomplished in this Chinese traditional art and relative facilities.

Admittedly, as the saying goes, interest is the best teacher. If one is interesting in what one is learning, one can learn more effectively. So under the premise that school can offer sufficient teachers and facilities, school should try to meet the individual needs and interests of each student in order to make education more effectively.

In sum, it seems to be true that education should be designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. But as far as I am concerned, it lacks of maneuverability.

这篇文章可以总结为一点，教育资源有限使满足个人需求的教育变得不实际
感觉B1和B2重复，是不是可以再拓展一下
你的过度蛮好的，要学习一下
我那篇写的时候思绪很乱，感觉有很多东西写，但不知道写什么好，使我那篇太散满了
加qq16367003多交流交流把

ouymUID: 2109118

感谢real_vc!
bow一下！

飞啊~飞UID: 2121330

Many people may sincerely believe that only when education is specially designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student, then will it be truly effective. However, one dose not have to go very far to see that this type of education is usually unpractical and could hardly come to reality.

In the first place，each student would [是虚拟吗?]have his or her own distinctively needs and interests. Hardly can one know exactly what a particular student is interested in and what curriculums will suit him or her. Particularly when one is very young, he or she may even not know that there have such curriculums as mathematics, physics, history, and so on. So how does he or she known what courses are interesting and what should be learnt first and what should not. [a,b and c]For example, when Gregor Mendel was a school child, how could anyone know this child will be interested in heredity, a modern science which did not exist at that time. Furthermore, with one’s age and knowledge increased, his or her interest might change greatly.( For example, when I was young, I heard a lot of fascinating stories about Albert Einstein from my father, so I was eager to learn physics. But when I did have the opportunity to learn it in junior school, I found it so boring that I did not love physics at all.) 据说以自己为例说服力不强Nevertheless I still love the stories of Einstein but[although好点不? 觉得but和nevertheless不搭] I just lose interest in physics. 多余In [On]the other hand, other subjects such as computer that I had never known when I was a little child are becoming more and more attractive to me. So when children go to school, their parents and school and even the children themselves could hardly know what are their individual needs and interests. 条理很清晰,是我喜欢的类型:D

In the second place, students’ interest is relatively infinite and the curriculums that a school can provide are limited. It is impossible to ask a school to satisfy all the needs of his students. For example, after watching TV which introduces Beijing opera, a traditional art in China, or traveling to China, an American child might develop a strong interest in Beijing opera. However, it is very difficult for his or her school to provide him or her teachers who are accomplished in this Chinese traditional art and relative facilities. 再来一句总结就更完整了

Admittedly, as the saying goes, interest is the best teacher. If one is interesting in what one is learning, one can learn more effectively. So under the premise that school can offer sufficient teachers and facilities, school should try to meet the individual needs and interests of each student in order to make education more effectively.

In sum, it seems to be true that education should be designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. But as far as I am concerned, it lacks of maneuverability.[哇!高级词哦~~~]

文章结构很清晰,我很喜欢~~嘻嘻
语言也挺好,看上去很舒服.我要好好向你学习!
但是第二第三段略显单薄.我也常有这种感觉:给出主题句之后就没话说了,立刻给出一例子.不知道你想出来啥对策没有?我琢磨着是不是把前因后果都说一下,再来个正反对比之类的
比如说b2, It is impossible to ask a school to satisfy all the needs of his students. because....例子...即使...
你觉得呢?

飞啊~飞UID: 2121330

谢谢! 来报恩

Many people may sincerely believe that only when education is specially designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student, then will it be truly effective. However, one dose not have to go very far to see that this type of education is usually unpractical and could hardly come to reality.

In the first place，each student would [是虚拟吗?]have his or her own distinctively needs and interests. Hardly can one know exactly what a particular student is interested in and what curriculums will suit him or her. Particularly when one is very young, he or she may even not know that there have such curriculums as mathematics, physics, history, and so on. So how does he or she known what courses are interesting and what should be learnt first and what should not. [a,b and c]For example, when Gregor Mendel was a school child, how could anyone know this child will be interested in heredity, a modern science which did not exist at that time. Furthermore, with one’s age and knowledge increased, his or her interest might change greatly.( For example, when I was young, I heard a lot of fascinating stories about Albert Einstein from my father, so I was eager to learn physics. But when I did have the opportunity to learn it in junior school, I found it so boring that I did not love physics at all.) 据说以自己为例说服力不强Nevertheless I still love the stories of Einstein but[although好点不? 觉得but和nevertheless不搭] I just lose interest in physics. 多余In [On]the other hand, other subjects such as computer that I had never known when I was a little child are becoming more and more attractive to me. So when children go to school, their parents and school and even the children themselves could hardly know what are their individual needs and interests. 条理很清晰,是我喜欢的类型

In the second place, students’ interest is relatively infinite and the curriculums that a school can provide are limited. It is impossible to ask a school to satisfy all the needs of his students. For example, after watching TV which introduces Beijing opera, a traditional art in China, or traveling to China, an American child might develop a strong interest in Beijing opera. However, it is very difficult for his or her school to provide him or her teachers who are accomplished in this Chinese traditional art and relative facilities. 再来一句总结就更完整了

Admittedly, as the saying goes, interest is the best teacher. If one is interesting in what one is learning, one can learn more effectively. So under the premise that school can offer sufficient teachers and facilities, school should try to meet the individual needs and interests of each student in order to make education more effectively.

In sum, it seems to be true that education should be designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. But as far as I am concerned, it lacks of maneuverability.[哇!高级词哦~~~]

文章结构很清晰,我很喜欢~~嘻嘻
语言也挺好,看上去很舒服.我要好好向你学习!
但是第二第三段略显单薄.我也常有这种感觉:给出主题句之后就没话说了,立刻给出一例子.不知道你想出来啥对策没有?我琢磨着是不是把前因后果都说一下,再来个正反对比之类的
比如说b2, It is impossible to ask a school to satisfy all the needs of his students. because....例子...即使...
你觉得呢?

ouymUID: 2109118

感谢飞啊~飞 !
我觉得你得建议很好!是要好好挖掘以下,让段落更丰满些!

飞啊~飞UID: 2121330

issue177  https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D2

再请教:你觉得语言才哪些方面去练比较好呢

星星之火UID: 2107154

我明天来，谢谢帮我改的

ouymUID: 2109118

Originally posted by 飞啊~飞 at 2005-8-3 08:52
issue177  https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D2

再请教:你觉得语言才哪些方面去练比较好呢

to 飞啊~飞
我的语言不好!临考了,不敢奢求有什么好的语言,只求能把意思讲清楚,就谢天谢地了!
对于提高语言质量,我想还是要背点书吧!生活总是这么的忙碌,哪还有工夫去背书呀!

星星之火UID: 2107154

第二篇，求拍砖！回拍给链接，虽然水平有限，但我会尽力的！

Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed
to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.【51】
教育只有被专门设计来满足每一个学生个人需求和兴趣的时候才是真正有效率的。

Many people may sincerely believe that only when education is specially designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student, then will it be truly effective. However, one dose （does,打错了吧？）not have to go very far to see that this type of education is usually unpractical and could hardly come to reality.

In the first place，each student would have his or her own distinctively needs and interests. Hardly can one know exactly what a particular student is interested in and what curriculums will suit him or her. Particularly when one is very young, he or she may even not know that there have such curriculums as mathematics, physics, history, and so on. So how does he or she known what courses are interesting and what should be learnt first and what should not. For example, when Gregor Mendel was a school child, how could anyone know this child will be interested in heredity, a modern science which did not exist at that time. Furthermore, with one’s age and knowledge increased, his or her interest might change greatly. For example, when I was young, I heard a lot of fascinating stories about Albert Einstein from my father, so I was eager to learn physics. But when I did have the opportunity to learn it in junior school, I found it so boring that I did not love physics at all. Nevertheless I still love the stories of Einstein but I just lose interest in physics. In （on ）the other hand, other subjects such as computer that I had never known when I was a little child are becoming more and more attractive to me. So when children go to school, their parents and school and even the children themselves could hardly know what are their individual needs and interests. (结构清晰，论述清楚，举例恰当，非常值得学习)In the second place, students’ interest is relatively infinite and the curriculums that a school can provide are limited. It is impossible to ask a school to satisfy all the needs of his students. For example, after watching TV which introduces Beijing opera, a traditional art in China, or traveling to China, an American child might develop a strong interest in Beijing opera. However, it is very difficult for his or her school to provide him or her teachers who are accomplished in this Chinese traditional art and relative facilities. （这一段像是没写完一样，结尾至少应该总结一下，将例子与主题联系起来）
Admittedly, as the saying goes, interest is the best teacher. If one is interesting in what one is learning, one can learn more effectively. So under the premise that school can offer sufficient teachers and facilities, school should try to meet the individual needs and interests of each student in order to make education more effectively.（这一段为社么没有展开写呢）

In sum, it seems to be true that education should be designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. But as far as I am concerned, it lacks of maneuverability.(结尾感觉太仓促了)

因发帖时忘了预览一下，发完之后觉得太难看了，自己又编辑了一下，再发上来！

感觉第二段写得实在太好了，论证结构，举例，论点都很好。但不知为什么后面这几段作者怎么都没展开写啊，是时间不够了吗？如果这篇文章以第二段为榜样完全可打造出一片优秀的习作,我感觉作者有这个能力。

谢谢你给我拍的！

ouymUID: 2109118

谢谢你的修改！让我看到了缺陷，也得到了鼓励！
我感觉写每一篇作文都是要绞尽脑汁，不容易呀！！:(

amanda1011UID: 2106668

Many people may sincerely believe that only when education is specially designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student, then will it be truly effective. However, one dose not have to go very far to see that this type of education is usually unpractical and could hardly come to reality.

In the first place，each student would have his or her own distinctively needs and interests. Hardly can one know exactly what a particular student is interested in and what curriculums will suit him or her. Particularly（前面刚用了个particular） when one is very young, he or she may even not know that there have such curriculums as mathematics, physics, history, and so on. So how does he or she known what courses are interesting and what should be learnt first and what should not. For example, when Gregor Mendel was a school child, how could anyone know this child will be interested in heredity, a modern science which did not exist at that time. Furthermore, with one’s age and knowledge increased, his or her interest might change greatly. For example, when I was young, I heard a lot of fascinating stories about Albert Einstein from my father, so I was eager to learn physics. But when I did have the opportunity to learn it in junior school, I found it so boring that I did not love physics at all. Nevertheless I still love the stories of Einstein but I just lose interest in physics. In the other hand, other subjects such as computer that I had never known when I was a little child are becoming more and more attractive to me. So when children go to school, their parents and school and even the children themselves could hardly know what are their individual needs and interests. （建议把这段的头两句用although连起来成一句，这样这段的TS就非常明显。否则，第一句是个让步，会给改卷人错觉我想。）

In the second place, students’ interest is relatively infinite and the curriculums that a school can provide are limited. It is impossible to ask a school to satisfy all the needs of his students. For example, after watching TV which introduces Beijing opera, a traditional art in China, or traveling to China, an American child might develop a strong interest in Beijing opera. However, it is very difficult for his or her school to provide him or her teachers who are accomplished in this Chinese traditional art and relative facilities.

Admittedly, as the saying goes, interest is the best teacher. If one is interesting in what one is learning, one can learn more effectively. So under the premise that school can offer sufficient teachers and facilities, school should try to meet the individual needs and interests of each student in order to make education more effectively.

In sum, it seems to be true that education should be designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. But as far as I am concerned, it lacks of maneuverability.

（就是第三段略显单薄，是不是可以考虑多几个反驳点，结合在一起。比如，教育的目的不单单是满足学生的各种兴趣和需求，是要让孩子学会找到自己的兴趣，并投入到自己兴趣的事中去……第四段我觉得这样的篇幅就可以了，既然是小让步，没必要多花笔墨。）