argument38 G-89-互助社-8.1日同主题作文！欢迎互拍！

polymathUID: 179557

昨天网速太慢！耽误了我们的主题活动！今日继续战斗！大家加油啊！:):victory:

38.The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.
"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid, a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil, as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism." (2005-8-1)
我们注意到一种保证可以显著减少学校和工作岗位的缺席的革新疗法。一项研究报告说在附近的East Meria，鱼的消费量很高，那里的人们每年因为治感冒而去看医生的次数只有一或两次。显然，吃较大量的鱼可以预防感冒。由于感冒是学校和单位缺席的最常见原因，我们建议每天服用Ichthaid，一种从鱼油中提炼的营养物质，作为预防感冒和减少缺席率的有效措施。

In this memo,the West Meria Public Health Council recommends taking the daily use of  Ichthaid-a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil-as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism. To support this recommendation the memo cites a study report that people nearby East Meria where fish consumption is very high rarely visit the doctor for the treament of colds.The Council further argues that colds as the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work can be prevented by eating fish . I find this argument specious on several grounds.

First, the recommendation relies on the assumption that the very high fish consumption in nearby East Meria is attributed to the rare visiting times for the treatment of colds of its citizens.Yet, this assumption overlooks other possible reasons for the fewer visiting times. Perhaps the people prefer to buy some medicines from the drug store rather than visit the doctor in East Meria, or perhaps the people around East Meria just like to visit the doctor in other nearby cities such as West Meria, or perphaps East Meria’ citizens have eaten other food that containing some nutritional supplement which can prevent colds.Without considering and eliminating these and other possible alternative explanations for the amazed fewer times for visiting the doctor, the Council cannot convincingly conclude based on that people nearby East Meria visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds.

Secondly, even assuming the very high fish consumption in nearby East Meria is attributed to the rare visiting times for the treatment of colds of its citizens, it is nevertheless impossible to assess the Council’s broader contention that eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Common sense tells me the very high fish comsumption and eating a substantial amount of fish can just be two different things.It is entirely possible, for example, that East Meria’s citizens use a lot of fish to produce a nutritional medicine or other products such as fish-can and then export to nearby places.In such cases,the fish consumption in nearby East Meria is also very high.If so, this fact would seriously weaken the argument that the residents eat a substantial amount of fish.

Finally, even assuming eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds, the Council cannot reasonably conclude that the daily use of Ichthaid, as a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil will promise to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces.It is entirely possible that due to colds is a most ordinary excuse for absences from school and work, people use it most frequently. Once it does not proved effective,people will seek other alternative reasons for absenteeism. Besides, the memo provides no evidence that people who actually eat a lot of fish in nearby East Meria seldom absent from school and work.Thus it is arbitrarily to conclude that the daily use of Ichthaid is a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism.

In sum, as it stands the argument is wholly unpersuasive.To bolster it the Council must show
eating a substantial amount of fish can effectively prevent colds-perhaps by way of reliable suevey.The memo must also provide clear evidence for without the excuse of colds, people who actually eat a lot of fish would reduce absences from school and work.To better assess the argument,it would be useful to know all the possible excuses for absenteeism.(564)

[ Last edited by polymath on 2005-8-2 at 18:02 ]

polymathUID: 179557

自己先顶一个！同志们加油啊！互改的留下!:):victory:

meimei0212UID: 2112263

呵呵

yogurt4UID: 198389

昏死了,还武汉的,格式都不对~~~~~~~~~~~~~

jiyichuanUID: 209474

In this memo,the West Meria Public Health Council recommends taking the daily use of  Ichthaid-a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil-as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism. To support this recommendation the memo cites a study report that people nearby East Meria where fish consumption is very high rarely visit the doctor for the treament of colds.The Council further argues that colds as the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work can be prevented by eating fish . I find this argument specious on several grounds.

First, the recommendation relies on the assumption that the very high fish consumption in nearby East Meria is attributed to the rare visiting times for the treatment of colds of its citizens. Yet, this assumption overlooks other possible reasons for the fewer visiting times. Perhaps the people prefer to buy some medicines from the drug store rather than visit the doctor in East Meria, or perhaps the people around East Meria just like to visit the doctor in other nearby cities such as West Meria, or perhaps East Meria’ citizens have eaten other food that containing some nutritional supplement which can prevent colds. Without considering and eliminating these and other possible alternative explanations for the amazed fewer times for visiting the doctor, the Council cannot convincingly conclude based on that people nearby East Meria visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds.

Secondly, even assuming the very high fish consumption in nearby East Meria is attributed to the rare visiting times for the treatment of colds of its citizens, it is nevertheless impossible to assess the Council’s broader contention that eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Common sense tells me the very high fish comsumption and eating a substantial amount of fish can just be two different things.It is entirely possible, for example, that East Meria’s citizens use a lot of fish to produce a nutritional medicine or other products such as fish-can and then export to nearby places.In such cases,the fish consumption in nearby East Meria is also very high.If so, this fact would seriously weaken the argument that the residents eat a substantial amount of fish.
这两段可以放在一起写，你这两段都在批EAST MERIA，但忽略了这两个地方是否可以类比这个重要的逻辑错误

Finally, even assuming eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds, the Council cannot reasonably conclude that the daily use of Ichthaid, as a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil will promise to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces.It is entirely possible that due to colds is a most ordinary excuse for absences from school and work, people use it most frequently（这一句有点别扭due to 可以这样用吗？）. Once it does not proved effective,people will seek other alternative reasons for absenteeism. Besides, the memo provides no evidence that people who actually eat a lot of fish in nearby East Meria seldom absent from school and work.Thus it is arbitrarily to conclude that the daily use of Ichthaid is a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism.

In sum, as it stands the argument is wholly unpersuasive. To bolster it the Council must show
eating a substantial amount of fish can effectively prevent colds-perhaps by way of reliable suevey. The memo must also provide clear evidence for（that） without the excuse of colds,

people who actually eat a lot of fish would reduce absences from school and work. To better assess the argument, it would be useful to know all the possible excuses for absenteeism.(564)

总体语言都不错 字数也满多
有少数打字错误

polymathUID: 179557

Originally posted by jiyichuan at 2005-8-2 16:11
In this memo,the West Meria Public Health Council recommends taking the daily use of  Ichthaid-a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil-as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism. T ...

谢谢jiyichuan的修改意见!:)

这两段可以放在一起写，你这两段都在批EAST MERIA，但忽略了这两个地方是否可以类比这个重要的逻辑错误

偶写到第3段的时候考虑到了!但是已经写了很多,再改恐怕耽误时间,很多要修改!所以就没说呀!偶在最后的 finally中本来也想加入这个批驳,但看字数已经很多了!所以就放弃了!

It is entirely possible that due to colds is a most ordinary excuse for absences from school and work, people use it most frequently（这一句有点别扭due to 可以这样用吗？）
不确定,如果不行的话,我改as吧!请大家继续指教!嘿嘿!~第一篇argument,手头很生!写issue习惯了!:$

ahqiuUID: 207682

你的第一段和第二段意思重复了
其他的没什么
我给点建议把：Em吃鱼可以预防感冒吗， 药和鱼的作用一样吗，矿工或旷课的人撒谎了吗，
主要是这几个点
我能想到的，希望对你有用

ssskyUID: 204142

In this memo,the West Meria Public Health Council recommends taking the daily use of  Ichthaid-a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil-as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism. To support this recommendation the memo cites a study report that people nearby East Meria where fish consumption is very high rarely visit the doctor for the treament of colds.The Council further argues that colds as the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work can be prevented by eating fish . I find this argument specious on several grounds.

First, the recommendation relies on the assumption that the very high fish consumption in nearby East Meria is attributed to the rare visiting times for the treatment of colds of its citizens.Yet, this assumption overlooks other possible reasons for the fewer visiting times. Perhaps the people prefer to buy some medicines from the drug store rather than visit the doctor in East Meria, or perhaps the people around East Meria just like to visit the doctor in other nearby cities such as West Meria, or perphaps East Meria’ citizens have eaten other food that containing some nutritional supplement which can prevent colds.Without considering and eliminating these and other possible alternative explanations for the amazed fewer times for visiting the doctor, the Council cannot convincingly conclude based on that people nearby East Meria visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds.

Secondly, even assuming the very high fish consumption in nearby East Meria is attributed to the rare visiting times for the treatment of colds of its citizens, it is nevertheless impossible to assess the Council’s broader contention that eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Common sense tells me the very high fish comsumption and eating a substantial amount of fish can just be two different things.It is entirely possible, for example, that East Meria’s citizens use a lot of fish to produce a nutritional medicine or other products such as fish-can and then export to nearby places.In such cases,the fish consumption in nearby East Meria is also very high.If so, this fact would seriously weaken the argument that the residents eat a substantial amount of fish.以上两个攻击点重复,可以合并在一起, 其实这个argument还有一个因果逻辑错误,就是把cold和absenteeism联系在一起,这是没有必然联系的.

Finally, even assuming eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds, the Council cannot reasonably conclude that the daily use of Ichthaid, as a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil will promise to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces.It is entirely possible that due to colds is a most ordinary excuse for absences from school and work, people use it most frequently. Once it does not proved effective,people will seek other alternative reasons for absenteeism. Besides, the memo provides no evidence that people who actually eat a lot of fish in nearby East Meria seldom absent from school and work.Thus it is arbitrarily to conclude that the daily use of Ichthaid is a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism.
呵呵 这一段你论证了另一个因果错误,但是我有一点意见不知道对不对,It is entirely possible that due to colds is a most ordinary excuse for absences from school and work, people use it most frequently. Once it does not proved effective,people will seek other alternative reasons for absenteeism.这辆句话好像对支持你的论证没有帮助吧,应该是指出absenteeism还有很多其他原因,而不是cold这一个唯一可能的原因.仅供参考
In sum, as it stands the argument is wholly unpersuasive.To bolster it the Council must show
eating a substantial amount of fish can effectively prevent colds-perhaps by way of reliable suevey.The memo must also provide clear evidence for without the excuse of colds, people who actually eat a lot of fish would reduce absences from school and work.To better assess the argument,it would be useful to know all the possible excuses for absenteeism.(564)

我的  也写了argument38  互拍 呵呵
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