Issue51 高频 欢迎互拍, 有拍必回

lingdUID: 2124943

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51"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
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The speaker maintains that education is effective only when it is specifically designed for individual needs and interests. Although there is some merit in the statement, it has gone to an extreme in my mind. I concede that education will be most effective when it is designed for individual needs and interests as the speaker claims, however, it will be still effective when it is designed for the majority.

Admittedly, education will be most effective when it is designed specifically for individual needs and interests. Every person has a unique temperament and disposition, and reacts differently facing the same circumstance. Therefore the same method of education will receive different result. As a consequence, education catering for individual needs and interests specifically and separately will receive the best result. For example, in a class, student A likes mathematics most and student B likes physics most, so teachers of the class should cultivate and care for interest in mathematics of A and interest in physics of B. Both of the two students benefit more from this special method of education compared with education treating every student equally.

However, one cannot just assert that only when education is specifically designed for individual needs and interests will it be effective. In fact, most education system cannot achieve treating every student specifically. There are so many students while only several teachers, so is it possible that every student receives specific education? Probably the answer is negative. As a matter of fact, students still learn much even though education is not designed specifically. If teachers fulfill their duty and impart information and knowledge entirely to their students, students are still able to learn something. There is an example aptly supporting the idea. Many scientists or literature masters, like Edison, learn knowledge by studying on their own and therefore their teachers are books. Of cause, education they received is not designed for them specifically, but this did not impede them from becoming scientists or literature masters. From this example, together with daily experience, one may conclude that education not designed specifically is still effective.

In conclusion, it is true that education will be most effective if it is designed specifically according to individual needs and interests. Nevertheless, it cannot be asserted that only when education is specific will education be effective, for education not designed specifically can still furnish enough knowledge and information for students and is still effective.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-8-8 at 17:37 ]

czl223UID: 2120177

Issue51 高频 欢迎互拍, 有拍必回

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51"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
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The speaker maintains that education is effective only when it is specifically designed for individual needs and interests. Although there is some merit in the statement, it has gone to an extreme in my mind. I concede that education will be most effective when it is designed for individual needs and interests as the speaker claims, however, it will be still effective when it is designed for the majority.【开头还算简洁，也表达清楚了，不错。】

Admittedly, education will be most effective when it is designed specifically for individual needs and interests. Every person has a unique temperament and disposition, and reacts differently facing the same circumstance. Therefore the same method of education will receive different result. 【表达太范了，半天才明白你想说什么，要具体】As a consequence, education catering for individual needs and interests specifically and separately will receive the best result. For example, in a class, student A likes mathematics most and student B likes physics most, so teachers of the class should cultivate and care for interest in mathematics of A and interest in physics of B. Both of the two students benefit more from this special method of education compared with education treating every student equally.例证举的还可以，只要能说清楚问题，都是不错的例子。

However, one cannot just assert that only when education is specifically designed for individual needs and interests will it be effective. In fact, most education system cannot achieve treating every student specifically. There are so many students while only several teachers, so is it possible that every student receives specific education? 【听说老外不喜欢在文中看到反问，老外自己说的，不是我说的，所以慎用】Probably the answer is negative. As a matter of fact, students still learn much even though education is not designed specifically. 【这么还是那几句话啊】If teachers fulfill their duty and impart information and knowledge entirely to their students, students are still able to learn something. There is an example aptly supporting the idea. Many scientists or literature masters, like Edison, learn knowledge by studying on their own and therefore their teachers are books【不懂，什么意思，你敢肯定老外看得懂你得意思，改】. 【edison的例子可以举，但要说清楚啊】Of cause, education they received is not designed for them specifically, but this did not impede them from becoming scientists or literature masters. From this example, together with daily experience, one may conclude that education not designed specifically is still effective.

In conclusion, it is true that education will be most effective if it is designed specifically according to individual needs and interests. Nevertheless, it cannot be asserted that only when education is specific will education be effective, for education not designed specifically can still furnish enough knowledge and information for students and is still effective. 【还是和开头差不多】
总的来说，思路还是清晰，就是思路没展开，说来说去还是那一点。多看些范文吧。我是后悔啊，没时间了。给你提点意见：
写文章一定要具体，用事实来说服读者，不要空话。与其空话，宁可不要。
还有就是要多方面多角度的展开来说，这样才有说服力。
语言，语法，拼写都是其次的，没做好上面的两点，写的再漂亮，白搭，当然前提是没有跑题。
个人意见，拍的狠了，莫怪！

lingdUID: 2124943

谢谢楼上的

alexliu925UID: 2125721

开头： 我觉第一句话没有必要，完全是重复题目。

论证部分：
        总体上论证逻辑比较清晰：从education for individual 和education for the most两方面论证：the education whether is for individual or is for the most are both effective.  但是分论点不够清楚和有力。
     eduction for individual : the first, the students would be try their best to learn
what they are interested. the second, different students' studying meathod are
also different.Some may like to talk with each other;some may like listen to what
the teacher says;and others may like to do experiment by themselves.(就是从学习的内容和学习方法两方面论述)
    eduction for the majority: First,the educational resource so limit that it can not
satisfy every students' lots of interests，so the education for the majority is more
effective. The second, education for the majority are guarantee that every student
can get comprehensive and good education,because every  student must be
educated  the same contention such as the morality and patriotism whether he/she
like or do not like them.(从有限的资源和不依赖于兴趣的内容两方面论证)
   随便瞎写一通，不知道对不对，忘大家多指教。

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

The speaker maintains that education is effective only when it is specifically designed for individual needs and interests. Although there is some merit in the statement, it has gone to an extreme in my mind. I concede that education will be most effective when it is designed for individual needs and interests as the speaker claims, however, it will be still effective when it is designed for the majority.

Admittedly, education will be most effective when it is designed specifically for individual needs and interests. Every person has a unique temperament and disposition, and reacts differently facing the same circumstance. Therefore the same method of education will receive different result. As a consequence, education catering for individual needs and interests specifically and separately will receive the best result. （For example, in a class, student A likes mathematics most and student B likes physics most, so teachers of the class should cultivate and care for interest in mathematics of A and interest in physics of B. Both of the two students benefit more from this special method of education compared with education treating every student equally.这个例子不是很好，没有说服力。）

However, one cannot just assert that only when education is specifically designed for individual needs and interests will it be effective. In fact, most education system cannot achieve treating every student specifically. There are so many students while only several teachers, so is it possible that every student receives specific education? Probably the answer is negative. As a matter of fact, students still learn much even though education is not designed specifically. If teachers fulfill their duty and impart information and knowledge entirely to their students, students are still able to learn something. There is an example aptly supporting the idea. Many scientists or literature masters, like Edison, learn knowledge by studying on their own and therefore their teachers are books. Of cause, education they received is not designed for them specifically, but this did not impede them from becoming scientists or literature masters. From this example, together with daily experience, one may conclude that education not designed specifically is still effective.（感觉还是谈谈学校教育的综合性对学生的好处，这个爱迪生的例子用在这里不是很好）

In conclusion, it is true that education will be most effective if it is designed specifically according to individual needs and interests. Nevertheless, it cannot be asserted that only when education is specific will education be effective, for education not designed specifically can still furnish enough knowledge and information for students and is still effective.
（也许是刚开始写吧？论证部分说服力不够，however后面应该有更深的论述，感觉和admittedly分量差不多，加油~~~）