请帮忙修改我的A类雅思小作文

pptaUID: 2110500

The charts below show the number of Japaness tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share of the Japaness tourist market.
Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

As shown in the charts, there is an increasing(upward) tendency in the number of Japaness tourists traveling abroad from 1985 to 1995.Accompany with the rising number, the proportion people choose to travel Australia has gone up in a small fluctuation over 1985 to 1994

the statistics on the first chart show that sharply increasing in the number of Japaness tourists traveling abroad happened from 5 million to nearly 11 million in the 6 years spanning from 1985 through 1990.And over the period from 1990 to 1993 the numbers remain appoxiate at 11 million.After the last three years,the number raise again.

In another chart we can learn that more and more Japaness liked to travel to Australia in the year between 1985 and 1994 with the percentage nearly from 2% to 6%.But in 1989 and 1994 the numbers have a slightly decrease.

蜻蜓切UID: 201589

我觉得写得还不错，但我现在手上没有这道题，忘记那些细节你是不是都把握到了。
task1写得差不多就可以了，task2占2/3

geordieUID: 2138846

找我老师批改吧, 我也是他批改的,真是得益非浅