关于ps的一个想法

linakUID: 155465

写了那么久的ps,改了几个版本,感觉偶的ps还是很欠缺的说
整体风格就像大多数人的一样,前面说自己干了什么什么,做了啥研究之类的
从而说明自己的能力吧,然后后面一小部分争对一个特定的学校说
为啥要选这个专业,对某个教授的兴趣以及今后的愿望,怎样研究啥的
这两天有个想法,就是能不能把后面小部分搬到前面来
也就是说一上来,两句话交代自己过后,马上就说我就对你这个学校感兴趣
我就是非常喜欢这个教授,我能做什么,我来了之后会怎样做research
接着下面再慢慢说自己做了什么,从而论证你到底会做什么
我不知道这样的思路会不会更好呢,因为看了自己的ps,感觉读了半天
仍然没读到主要部分,就是说了自己在干啥,到快完了才点题
想听听过来人的意见

樱一树UID: 63921

要不你放上来，大家帮你看看？

linakUID: 155465

Ever since high school, I had been fascinated by the unique scenery of chemistry. Because of my hard working, chemistry was my best courses and I was the most excellent student in chemistry of my school. In 2002, the last year of my high school, I joined the National Chemistry Olympics, competition for selecting the top students in chemistry to represent China in the ICHO (International Chemistry Olympiad). This particular experience furthered my interest in chemistry. Having the dream of becoming a chemist, I went to the chemistry department of Nankai University for further study.

As the Alma Mater of our country’s first premier Mr. Zhou Enlai and a traditionally famous school of chemistry, Nankai University offered me fantastic facilities and environments to study chemistry. At the end of my second year, I was recommended to the group of Professor Zhou Qilin, director of the State Key Laboratory of Elemento-organic Chemistry Nankai University and ChangJiang scholar whose research direction was asymmetric synthesis.

At all times, I have been attracted by the distinct properties of two molecules with the relationship of chiral symmetry and the charm of organic synthesis. After joining Professor Zhou’s group, I helped one Post-Doc to complete his project. My work was to independently synthesize different kinds of aldehyde, which was then used by him for asymmetric hydrogenation. This project was published in ANGEW CHEM INT EDIT. Through my work, I knew how to carry through organic synthesis under the anhydrous and airless conditions, and to judge a reaction’s end through chromatoboard and observing the IF. This background equipped me with the basic skills of doing a research and soared my interests in organic synthesis.

Then when I was senior I transferred to Professor Liao Daizheng’s group to focus on the aspect of Organometallic chemistry. With the knowledge and experimental skills gained in Professor Zhou’s group, I myself could hold a complete project: The structure and properties of metal complex of Macrocycle 1-thia-4, 7-diazacylononane with two parietal Arms, natural science fund of TianJin, China. When synthesizing the mid-product N,N’-Bis((4-methelphenthyl)sulfonyl)-bis(2-aminoethyl)-sulfid, I got an oil-like substance while the reference told that it should be a yellowy solid with certain melting point, even vacuumizing and freezing at a very low temperature did not work. However, I got the M.P and infrared spectrum of the anterior-step product to make sure it WAS my aim product, and I dealt with the solvent in which the regents reacted many times to make sure it was pure enough, then I repeated this experiment while rationally changed a little conditions just like temperature and times. In the end I did get a yellowy solid whose melting point and H NMR spectrum are accord with the reference. Although this accident delayed the whole process of my project and I had to stay all-night to accomplish the experiments during those days, it made me better understand the meaning of this word——RESEARCH.

My primary goal in applying to your graduate program is to prepare myself for a career of scientific research. During the period of my research, I had known that New York University has many outstanding faculties, especially in the field of bioinorganic chemistry, through reading the papers published by them on JACS, INORG CHEM, J ORG CHEM and so on. Having the experience of asymmetric synthesis and complex with ligands which have big rings, I believe I am the best person who can match the researches of Professor James Canary, whose interests are molecular imagine and nanoscale molecular devices. I will probe into the complex which can be used to cut or bridge some molecules under our control, so that I can apply them into the DNA project. With the DNA scaffolds, I will find the reasons of people’s disease, especially the cancers, and eventually conquer these cancers for the whole benefit of human beings. This goal will surely be hard to reach, however, from the time I knew that Professor James Canary had already made many breakthroughs in this field; I decided to join his group to easy my way to the goal.

Once again, I feel the help and guidance that can be provided to me by the distinguished faculty and facility of New York University will be invaluable. If I am accorded the opportunity to pursue my graduate studies with finical assistance at your institution, I am fully confident that I will not only be able to fulfill my dream, but to contribute substantially to the university as well.

linakUID: 155465

大家都帮忙看看吧,多谢了

DajUID: 18915

did you get my work for you  ?

hehe, sent to you aboit one week ago

no reply so far

just to confirm

DriverEntryUID: 143979

那样改也可以的. 不过有个风险. 就是那样改了后,范围有可能变的很小. 比如你只说对某个教授或某个方向感兴趣的话, 其他不是这个方向或不是这个教授的人就会很少考虑你.

有利有弊,好好想想吧

so猫UID: 148633

好恐怖的PS~
我闪

mimifueUID: 135625

感觉读完了比较晕。。。。

so猫UID: 148633

DD啊~
我看了看~
怎么跟我对PS的印象不同呢

我忘记谁告诉我说
PS要展现的是能力潜力跟个性
CV(resume)才是展现的经历经验和accomplishment

比如说 我觉得你那个transfer就没有好好说明
你都没有讲说你整个对待化学的态度是怎么转变的 为什么你要transfer啊啥的
而且整个文章我觉得完全没写出你对化学的euthusiasm(汗是不是这样写啊)
其实人家还是很注重看你的心志还有兴趣的成长经历的~
至少我的PS里面很大的篇幅是说我整个5年从生物到化学 从分析到有机的转变历程 然后说明我比别人优秀的地方
那些啥发过什么paper啊 啥的 我全甩在RESUME里面去了~

所以我现在怎么感觉感觉这个都更象CV咧~~~
不过我是凭我的感觉 不对不要骂我哈

改天我写完了也发上来谁看看~~~

linakUID: 155465

受打击了...
不过真是非常感谢各位的建议
我再努力改 改

so猫UID: 148633

现在再来看当时本人写的对PS的理解
真是汗死啊~

闪~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DendisUID: 158017

这个东西我到现在也没想清楚到底怎么弄，都忙活了断断续续快2个月了～～～

linakUID: 155465

Originally posted by so猫 at 2005-10-26 00:10
现在再来看当时本人写的对PS的理解
真是汗死啊~

闪~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

为啥汗？
结果偶果然采用了这种想法

wefreeUID: 162249

哇 好长 我的就写了一点点.

mxggUID: 2111875

谁能帮我改改啊?
PS都烦死了,
最近还有专业课考试,
脸上都起了好几个包包:(