issue51 修改稿在19楼

zhangheng1020UID: 2130513

和我写的完全不是一种思路，学习中。。。。。。

果小冻UID: 208370

或者贴上来吧,呵呵

win-szUID: 2113066

Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.

正文
What kind of education is more effective? The one complied with personality, or the one fit to the uniform standard? In my view, neither of the two is perfect enough to be called the truly effective education. A balance should be taken between them in order to give students a better education. Thus, to tell the truth(这个有些口语化，显得太随便了，删除感觉更好些), I think (这个句子语法有问题，think后面的句子中designed不能做宾语从句的主语，这里加个education就好了). completely designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student will sometimes have bad effect on them.(在in my view里，你的大观点是教育在兴趣和统一标准之间需要平衡。而thus后面的只是说兴趣的危害，这个应该是大观点的一个分论点，根据你的展开，thus后面的放到下一段段首更好些)

To begin with, there is no deny that young students may not always have the ability to make a reasonable choice, due to their own immature(这句不像你的观点呀？段首要简练的列出你的观点). Lacing(应是lacking) the capacity of judgment, they are not able to tell what benefits them most. It is entirely possible (有点阿狗了，最近是不是阿狗写得习惯了？嘿嘿)they will refuse to learn those seeming hard to receive(应该是accept，表明主观上的接受), no matter how important they are. As a result, the students will lose the opportunity to have a complete education. For example, most the (语法问题，要么most students，要么most of the students)students are not so interested in those fundamental subjects, such as math and physics(感觉说了一半？ 不喜欢数学怎么了？有什么恶劣的后果？这个是你强调的呀). Does that mean we should conceal these subjects in order to meet students’ interests? Common sense informs us that it is crucial for students to get such knowledge, which may conflict with their interests currently, however, playing a key role in their long development. In a conclusion(改成in short好些，conclusion这个结论大，根据你的文章结构，这里只是分论点而已), the process of learning should be somehow systematic with some instructions, since basic knowledge is needed by all the students(结论有些跑题？ 改成一味满足学生的个人兴趣导致学生缺少基本知识，这样会不会更好些).

Further more(应该是furthermore), as the students are easy to be aimless, their interests may not last long and (and前后并列成分应该一样的，这里有问题，加个not be就好了)without any purpose or plan. Thus, it is rather dubious whether they can persist or not(段首先摆明你的观点，然后展开论证，这样更好些，符合英语的表达习惯). Additionally, whether the interests fit to their own characteristic is open to doubt(又成阿狗了？). That is why even if students can learn by interests, they should be under the guidance of educators. Only in this way can the students make suitable choices and then stick to them.(这里应该加个for instance,后面的是例子吧？) Caused by curiosity, most of the children will show interests to some of the musical instruments at the first. However, I do not think all of them should be offered lessons of music, and then surly (应是surely)become musicians. Instead, educators should give some sound suggestions and useful guidance on whether they should choose these lessons. Actually(改成in fact前后承接更好些，因为前一句的instead和actually一样的意思), most children don’t have the talent for playing musical instruments at all. Accordingly, it is rather a waste of time for them to play again and again without any progress(感觉有些绝对？反复练习难道没有任何进步吗？). Perhaps, they should choose other lessons which fit them.(最后最好再重复一下本段的中心意思)

Anyway, in order to cater to individual needs and enhance interests of students, educators can offer some specifically designed programs for students, especially in universities and colleges(这里应该强调而不是允许学生任意选择他们喜欢的课程，以便突出你的观点和主题). Then students have the chance to develop their own interests, while not conflicting with their wholly development. Students can first consider their conditions, and then make a reasonable plan to fully develop their interests. In these situations, educators should give them some suggestions when possible.

In addition, in my view, the education should give students the chance to learn about cooperation, leadership, teamwork and interpersonal skills, rather than just concerning about the personalities(兴趣与性格可是完全不同的概念，这里改成兴趣更好些，因为主题就是兴趣有关) of students. Only in this way can the students learn to share their interests with others, and at the same time their interests will have a better development in the course of interaction.

有个问题：你的观点是要与要在兴趣和统一标准之间的平衡，但是全文只论证了兴趣的问题，统一的标准没有任何论证和展开？

建议你以后注意：观点必须要论证。如果跟主题不相关或者自己没有论证得，不要在观点里描述，否则画蛇添足，反而消弱了你的观点。

这里根据你的论证，第一段你的大观点可以改成:基于兴趣得教育远远不够，而且会产生负面效应。 最后一段的观点也要相应修改。

In a sum, I think education which(语法问题，要么删除which,要么是strikes) striking a balance between personality and commonality is the most(most?有些绝对，中肯更好些) effective one. Only concerning about any one of the two will cause a bad effect on students. Thus(你的观点在本段段首已经表明了，这里应该是那个观点的递进，改成moreover前后关系更好些), the educators should give suggestions before students making choice of their interests. Also, the students should be given more guidance in the course of putting out their interests.

[ Last edited by win-sz on 2005-11-17 at 16:51 ]

果小冻UID: 208370

What kind of education is the most effective one? The one complied with interest of each student, while without considering about the uniform standard, is the only effective education as the issue asserts. However, in my point of view, the effective education should think about the whole development of students. The specially designed education cannot be called the only effective, reasons are as follows.
.

To begin with, education completely pursuing interests of students will somehow result in the lacking of fundamental knowledge. It is entirely possible they will refuse to learn those seeming hard to accept, no matter how important they are. As a result, the students will lose the opportunity to have a well-round education, which is rather crucial to board their field of vision. For example, most of the students are not so interested in those fundamental subjects, such as math and physics. Does that mean we should conceal these subjects in order to meet students’ interests? Common sense informs us that it is crucial for students to get such knowledge, which may conflict with their interests currently, however, playing a key role in their long development. Without these useful knowledge, it is impossible for students to develop their interests, for lacking the fundamental tool to deal with the tasks they may meet with. In short, the process of learning should not just concern about with interests of students one-sidedly, instead it should be somehow systematic with some instructions, since basic knowledge is needed by all the students.

Furthermore, having interested in something does not means the students will surely succeed in that field. They also call for the guidance of teachers. As the students are easy to be aimless, their interests may not last long since without any purpose or plan. There is no repudiation that young students may not always have the ability to make reasonable choices, due to their own immature. Lacking the capacity of judgment, they are not able to tell what benefits them most. Thus, their goal determined by impulse may not last long. Additionally, no one can issue that the interests fit to their own characteristic. That is why even if students can learn by interests, they should be under the guidance of educators. Only in this way can the students make suitable choices and then stick to them. For instance, caused by curiosity, most of the children will show interests to some of the musical instruments at the first. However, I do not think all of them should be offered lessons of music, and then surely become musicians. Instead, educators should give some sound suggestions and useful guidance on whether they should choose these lessons. Actually, most children don’t have the talent for playing musical instruments at all. Accordingly, it is rather a waste of time for them to play again and again with little progress. Perhaps, they should choose other lessons which fit them. Accordingly, in order to grantee the success of students, the educators should give their insightful advices.

Anyway, in order to cater to individual needs and enhance interests of students, educators can offer some specifically designed programs for students, especially in universities and colleges. Then students are allowed to develop their own interests, while not conflicting with their wholly development. Students can first consider their conditions, and then make a reasonable plan to fully develop their interests. In these situations, educators should also give them some suggestions when possible.

In addition, in my view, effective education should give students the chance to learn about cooperation, leadership, teamwork and interpersonal skills, rather than just concerning about the interest of each student. Only in this way can the students learn to share their interests with others, and at the same time their interests will have a better development in the course of interaction. Since the terminal purpose of education is to teach students how to get along with others, including teachers, classmates and also family-members, the students need these crucial characters to communicate with others. Thus, those just concerning about their own needs are not the society wants.   

In a sum, I think education  striking a balance between personality and commonality is a effective one. Only concerning about any one of the two will cause a bad effect on students. Thus, the educators should give suggestions before students making choice of their interests. Also, the students should be given more guidance in the course of putting out their interests.

果小冻UID: 208370

帮我看看有没有进步啦,哈哈

win-szUID: 2113066

What kind of education is the most effective one? The one complied with interest of each student, while without considering about the uniform standard, is the only effective education as the issue asserts. However, in my point of view, the effective education should think about the whole development of students. The specially designed education cannot be called the only effective, reasons are as follows.
.

To begin with, education completely pursuing interests of students will somehow result in the lacking of fundamental knowledge(教育导致缺乏知识？句子不通，应该是导致学生缺乏知识). It is entirely possible (argument了？)they will refuse to learn those seeming hard to accept, no matter how important they are. As a result, the students will lose the opportunity to have a well-round education, which is rather crucial to board(应该是broaden) their field of vision. For example, most(有些绝对了，many好些) of the students are not so interested in those fundamental subjects, such as math and physics. Does that mean we should conceal these subjects in order to meet students’ interests? Common sense informs us that it is crucial for students to get such knowledge, which may conflict with their interests currently, however, playing a key role in their long development. Without these useful knowledge, it is impossible for students to develop their interests(缺少说服力，文盲就不会培养兴趣吗？), for lacking the fundamental tool to deal with the tasks they may meet with. In short, the process of learning should not just concern about with interests of students one-sidedly, instead it should be somehow systematic with some instructions, since basic knowledge is needed by all the students.

Furthermore, having interested in something does not means the students will surely succeed in that field. They also call for the guidance of teachers. As the students are easy to be aimless, their interests may not last long since without any purpose or plan.There is no repudiation that young students may not always have the ability to make reasonable choices, due to their own immature. Lacking the capacity of judgment, they are not able to tell what benefits them most. Thus, their goal determined by impulse may not last long(有例子就更有说服力了). . Additionally, no one(有些绝对吧？) can issue that the interests fit to their own characteristic(复数). That is why even if students can learn by interests, they should be under the guidance of educators. Only in this way can the students make suitable choices and then stick to them. For instance, caused by curiosity, most of the children will show interests to some of the musical instruments at the first. However, I do not think all of them should be offered lessons of music(改成专业性的音乐课程更好些，因为普通音乐课培养生活的热爱呀), and then surely become musicians. Instead, educators should give some sound suggestions and useful guidance on whether they should choose these lessons. Actually, most(绝对了，many好些) children don’t have the talent for playing musical instruments at all. Accordingly, it is rather a waste of time for them to play again and again with little progress. Perhaps, they should choose other lessons which fit them. Accordingly(用词最好能变化一下), in order to grantee the success of students, the educators should give their insightful advices.

Anyway, in order to cater to individual needs and enhance interests of students, educators can offer some specifically designed programs for students, especially in universities and colleges(看看第一段你的论点，你反对特别设计的教育，这里怎么又赞成了？感觉前后不太一致). Then students are allowed to develop their own interests, while not conflicting with their wholly(应该是whole) development. Students can first consider their conditions, and then make a reasonable plan to fully develop their interests. In these situations, educators should also give them some suggestions when possible.

In addition, in my view, effective education should give students the chance to learn about cooperation, leadership, teamwork and interpersonal skills, rather than just concerning about the interest of each student. Only in this way can the students learn to share their interests with others, and at the same time their interests will have a better development in the course of interaction. Since the terminal(有些绝对，改成一个重要的目的中肯些) purpose of education is to teach students how to get along with others, including teachers, classmates and also family-members, the students need these crucial characters to communicate with others. Thus, those just concerning about their own needs are not (少what)the society wants.   

In a sum, I think education  striking a balance看看你第一段的论点(你反对教育迎合学生的兴趣)跟这里一样吗？观点怎么变了？ between personality and commonality is a effective one. Only concerning about any one of the two will cause a bad effect on students. Thus, the educators should give suggestions before students making choice of their interests. Also, the students should be given more guidance in the course of putting out their interests.

[ Last edited by win-sz on 2005-11-22 at 10:58 ]

果小冻UID: 208370

我的观点没有改变呀，只是前面说明正统教育的重要性,然后为了克服它的不足,可以附加一些自由选择课程根据兴趣的,