发我写的一篇习作,恳求各位的意见 //bow

hotheadUID: 2128795

才开始准备TWE(11T),压力巨大丫

  People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
(My practice is following)

  In recent years, more and more people choose to attend colleges or universities. Meanwhile, an argument why people attend college or university is more and more debated on. Numerous reasons can be proposed by people with different backgrounds and experiences. In my opinion, people can learn a lot of new knowledge and experiences in college or university, and learn to adapt themselves for future life as adults.
  Firstly, people can learn new knowledge and experiences in colleges or universities. One of my teachers in college once told me, the most important resources in a college are libraries and teachers. This is utterly correct. There are a great deal of books, magazines and newspapers in college libraries, ranging form science to humanities. From which, students can learn a lot, not only about their specialties, but about almost every aspect of life. A teacher can teach his or her students from knowledge of their specialty to experience of dealing with different thing or persons. These can help students with their future life and work.
  Secondly, students can prepare to be a member of adult society. Life in college or university is different from that in secondary school in many ways. In college or university, students must learn how to arrange their own time schedule and how to get along with their roommates. In secondary schools, most students have their time arranged by their parents and teachers, but in college, the must arrange time by themselves. Another important difference is that students may live at home in their secondary schools; while in colleges, they must live with one or more roommates. They have to learn how to cooperate with their roommates. This experience will help student handle things and different people in their life and work after they graduate from their colleges or universities.
  Many others intend to change the social situation of their families, by attending college or universities. Especially for those families that are in lower classes of society, they are glad to support their family members to attend college or university, hoping to advance their families situation.
  In conclusion, many different people have different reasons of attending college or university. Some want to purse good jobs and others are likely to change the social situation of their families.

amanda2005UID: 2120493

In recent years, more and more people choose to attend colleges or universities. Meanwhile, an argument why people attend college or university is more and more debated on].(debatable) Numerous reasons can be proposed by people with different backgrounds and experiences.(这句好像不是下文的关系不大)In my opinion, people can learn a lot of new knowledge and experiences in college or university, and learn to adapt themselves for future life as adults.

  Firstly, people can learn new knowledge and accumulate (加个动词，好像experience 不能 learn) experiences in colleges or universities. One of my teachers in college once told me, the most important resources in a college are libraries and teachers. This is utterly correct. There are a great deal of books, magazines and newspapers in college libraries, ranging form science to humanities. From which, students can learn a lot, not only about their specialties, but about almost every aspect of life. A teacher can teach his or her students from knowledge of their specialty to experience of dealing with different thing or persons. These can help students with their future life and work

  Secondly, students can prepare to be a member of adult society. Life in college or university is different from that in secondary school in many ways. In college or university, students must learn how to arrange their own time schedule and how to get along with their roommates. In secondary schools, most students have their time arranged by their parents and teachers, but in college, they must arrange time by themselves. Another important difference is that students may live at home in their secondary schools; while in colleges, they must live with one or more roommates. They have to learn how to cooperate with their roommates. This experience will help student handle things and different people in their life and work after they graduate from their colleges or universities.这段最后最好加一句总结的话
  Many others intend to change the social situation of their families, by attending college or universities. Especially for those families that are in lower classes of society, they are glad to support their family members to attend college or university, hoping to advance their families situation.如果这段要简述的话，可以多写几个原因，如果只有一个原因显得单薄。
In conclusion, many different people have different reasons of attending college or university. Some want to pursue good jobs 这一点在上文并没有说呀，确实增长知识和经验，学会与人相处有利于职业生涯，但是上文并没有很确切的说明，需要读者自己推测 and others are likely to change the social situation of their families.总体说来写得不错呀！

[ Last edited by amanda2005 on 2005-11-15 at 12:28 ]

hotheadUID: 2128795

^_^
非常感谢豌豆精的指正,总觉得论述比较空洞,看来还是词汇量和积累的问题,

j1e2s2s8eUID: 200788

不要只想着用一些复杂的词汇，有时候简单的常用的词反而更有效果，他们不是看你会用多少单词，而是看你用英文思考的能力。