argument131 互拍啦,呵呵

果小冻UID: 208370

Argument131
The following appeared in an environmental newsletter published in Tria Island.
'The marine sanctuary on Tria Island was established to protect certain marine mammals. Its regulations ban dumping and offshore oil drilling within 20 miles of Tria, but fishing is not banned. Currently many fish populations in Tria's waters are declining, a situation blamed on pollution. In contrast, the marine sanctuary on Omni Island has regulations that ban dumping, offshore oil drilling, and fishing within 10 miles of Omni and Omni reports no significant decline in its fish populations. Clearly, the decline in fish populations in Tria's waters is the result of overfishing, not pollution. Therefore, the best way to restore Tria's fish populations and to protect all of Tria's marine wildlife is to abandon our regulations and adopt those of Omni.'
提纲：
1，        没有证据可以说明鱼群的过度捕捞造成了鱼群下降，没有提供具体的捕捞数量和渔民数量,没有禁止捕捞并不代表就会直接造成捕鱼量的上升.另外，鱼群的数量减少不可能会仅仅因为捕捞的
2，        没有资料表明鱼群的下降造成和污染没有关系。应该提供具体有关T周围海域的水质量的资料
3，        两个地区的水情况以及鱼群的种类都不一样，所以不能简单的类推。另外还有其他的解决方法的，所以也不可以认定一样得使用限制捕捞
正文
In this argument, when discussing the exact reason for the decline of fish population in Tria’s waters, the author rules out the possibility of pollution while treats overfishing as the only and crucial cause. What he or she relies on is just a unpersuasive comparison, thus the suggestions made by the author cannot be taken simply.

First of all, the author fails to establish the causal relationship between not banning fishing and decrease in fish population. The author blames the not banning fishing for the declining of fish population in Tria’s water, more according to his or her own objective inference. The author should provide us some detailed and authentic statistic for the number of the fishermen, as well as the amount of fish fished by them. Perhaps there are only a few fishermen fishing in this area because of their own preference or tradition generated from the olds. Or perhaps the kinds of fishes in Tria’s water are very scant and not easy for selling, and thus fishermen have no interest in this area. Without evidence we cannot be convinced that not banning fishing means the declining of fish population. In addition, fishing alone cannot decrease fish population sharply. Even if the not banning fishing results in overfishing, the author cannot contribute it to be the only reason for the declining of fish population. We should be informed the rate of reproduce of fish, as well as that of the fishing by fishermen. A careful comparison should be given before coming to the conclusion that only the overfishing leads to the declining of fish population,

Furthermore, the author rules out the possibility of pollution as one of the reasons for the declining of fish population. Since ban dumping and offshore oil drilling with 20 miles does not mean that the water is less polluted. The author needs to take scientific survey of the condition of Tria’s water and then offers us enough persuasive data. It is entirely possible that the sources of pollution might be beyond 20 miles. We cannot be convinced that people have now completely stopped dumping because of the ban, perhaps they dump just beyond 20 miles and the waste maybe delivered to the Tria. Or perhaps the air might be polluted thus the solution of air in the water cause the decrease of fish population. Without consider the possibilities talked above, the author cannot rule out the pollution.

Moreover, the author makes a insufficient comparison between Tria and Omni and then suggests that the former should learn from the latter in order to stop the decline of fish population. First, the water condition of the two areas may be different. It is entirely possible that there are many kinds of fishes in Omni within 10 miles, while there is litter fish in Tria within 10 miles. This is rather probable because different quality of water will result in different living environment for fish, and therefore leads to the different quantity of fish. Second, the species in Omni might be more adaptive than those of Tria. The more species of fish, the more fishermen will prefer to fish in the area. If there are only a few specie of fish in Tria, the fishermen may not be likely to fish here, since the profits cannot be insured. Third, the author refuses to consider other useful ways to protect fish before calling for adopting the regulations of Omni. In short, without considering the difference of the two areas, the successful methods used in Omni cannot be applied in Tria.

In a sum, the author should collect more information of the water condition in Tria and the species of fish there. Also the difference between Omni and Tria should be revealed clearly before making any comparisons.

allayUID: 2128912

In this argument, when discussing the exact reason for the decline of fish population in Tria’s waters, the author rules out the possibility of pollution while treats overfishing as the only and crucial cause. What he or she relies on is just a（an） unpersuasive comparison, thus the suggestions made by the author cannot be taken simply.

First of all, the author fails to establish the causal relationship between not banning fishing and decrease in fish population（这样表述可以的吗？）. The author blames the not banning fishing for the declining of fish population in Tria’s water, more according to his or her own objective inference. The author should provide us some detailed and authentic statistic for the number of the fishermen, as well as the amount of fish fished by them. Perhaps there are only a few fishermen fishing in this area because of their own preference or tradition generated from the olds. Or perhaps the kinds of fishes in Tria’s water are very scant and not easy for selling, and thus fishermen have no interest in this area. Without evidence we cannot be convinced that not banning fishing means the declining of fish population. In addition,（转折得好！） fishing alone cannot decrease fish population sharply. Even if the not banning fishing results in overfishing, the author cannot contribute it to be the only reason for the declining of fish population. We should be informed the rate of reproduce of fish, as well as that of the fishing by fishermen. A careful comparison should be given before coming to the conclusion that only the overfishing leads to the declining of fish population,

Furthermore, the author rules out the possibility of pollution as one of the reasons for the declining of fish population. Since ban dumping and offshore oil drilling with 20 miles does not mean that the water is less polluted. The author needs to take scientific survey of the condition of Tria’s water and then offers us enough persuasive data. It is entirely possible that the sources of pollution might be beyond 20 miles. We cannot be convinced that people have now completely stopped dumping because of the ban, perhaps they dump just beyond 20 miles and the waste maybe delivered to the Tria. Or perhaps the air might be polluted thus the solution of air in the water cause the decrease of fish population. Without consider （considering）the possibilities talked above, the author cannot rule out the pollution. (最后一句貌似没完吧？不过总体看这段很好 我觉得)

Moreover, the author makes a insufficient comparison between Tria and Omni and then suggests that the former should learn from the latter in order to stop the decline of fish population. First, the water condition of the two areas may be different. It is entirely possible that there are many kinds of fishes in Omni within 10 miles, while there is litter fish in Tria within 10 miles. This is rather probable because different quality of water will result in different living environment for fish, and therefore leads to the different quantity of fish. Second, the species in Omni might be more adaptive than those of Tria. The more species of fish, the more fishermen will prefer to fish in the area. If there are only a few specie of fish in Tria, the fishermen may not be likely to fish here, since the profits cannot be insured. Third, the author refuses to consider other useful ways to protect fish before calling for adopting the regulations of Omni. In short, without considering the difference of the two areas, the successful methods used in Omni cannot be applied in Tria.

In a sum, the author should collect more information of the water condition in Tria and the species of fish there. Also the difference between Omni and Tria should be revealed clearly before making any comparisons

这篇我认认真真地看了 找不出多少觉得不适当的
唔 写得不错啊！而且字数挺多的撒～
学习ING~

果小冻UID: 208370

谢谢,呵呵我汗的,因为我没有限时呢,郁闷中.

lvfenmeiUID: 2165911

写的不错的，学习·！！！！！！！！！！！1