issue116 欢迎大家指教拍砖

sallyxinduUID: 2131253

116"With the growth of global networks in such areas as economics and communication, there is no doubt that every aspect of society—including education, politics, the arts, and the sciences—will benefit greatly from international influences."

Outline
1，        经济和通信和全球化带来的正面影响使大部分领域受益，举例，改革开放给中国带来了许多好处
2，        经济和通信的全球化也伴随着负面影响，距离，网络犯罪，网恋骗局等
3，        全球化带来的益处在各个领域是不一样的，教育和科学领域受益最大
4，        但是在政治和艺术领域，各自的特色比全球一体化更重要。

正文
Globalization in telecommunications and interdependency of economies in various countries all over the wrold are emerging in an overwhelming momentum. The influences brought with them are as well all-pervading. However, only the positive influence is conducive to our huam beings. For example, throught globle communication, people can learn the advanced notions of other countries, throught the communications with others we could be told about our mistakes in thinking and therefore we can revise our faults in order to be better in development. Also, enterprises worldwide are endowed with more access to implementation of multi-lateral trade so as to they can trade with foreign enterprises more freely with comparatively much less constrications and limitation in virtue of interdependency in economies. These are all positive effects caused by globalization in both economy and communication which make our society more prosperous and of more convenience

On the other hand,there are a great deal of undeniable negative consequences of the unification. A predominant demonstration involves the licentious phenomena in internet,people chat with each other in dirty and even obscene words, criminal skills and pornographies are widely promulgated on computer screens, insurrectional letters are transmitted via emails to a large population. Consequentely, a marjority of people are affected by these outer facors, no matter greatly or slightly, while only a few can prevent themselves from being contaminated by these harmful stimuli due to their solid moral principles and self-control. As a results, the whole world may be in a status of chaos and disorder, or even on the verge of distinction should all the negative impacts of international communication and economies are estending without stipulation laid to inhibitate the maleficent influences.

What’s more, the extent to which different areas benefit varies greatly in each individual realm of subject. In terms of this, education may has the greatest opportunity to benefit from these globle networks. Students get more accesses to the information provided by network in that they could be in a mass of information concerning all topics they want should they sit in front of the computer screen using the mouth to press any relevant link that fits their wish. As a result, they will become more and more insightful and knowledgable. Meanwhile, distant-learning class make it possible for students from different places to “sit”in the same “class” simultaneously and listen to the same lesson. Similarly, globle networks bring hightlights in the field of science because scientists now could just think out a potential idea and then sends it to other professionals in this field for discussion, which, in the past, could only be conducted if only all the scientist travel a long distance to the same place and hold a meeting there. So, it’s out of doubt that globle network save a lot of time and energy for scientists.

Yet, in contrast, globalization in communication and economies may be more of a threat than benefit in areas like politics and arts which call for authority and identity respectively., consider that if all the insurgence-intended people all over the world connive together with the help of globle communication and globle economy to support their plot finacially at different place, the government will view this as a threat to their power,thus pondering on all possible methods to repress them and eliminate any channels for their communication. When comes to arts, the unified standerd in design and thinking may result in the homogenization which runs contrary to the essence of arts as identity

In the final analysis,globle networks bring both positive and negative influences on our society and the degree of it’s effect is quite different accordingly
字数591，觉得最后一段太浅了，但总又不知道该再写点什么了，望大家指教。

superficialUID: 2151788

你的速度让我想吐血了………………

gtrandUID: 2156108

对全球化利弊的认识还是有深度的，看到了正面作用，也看到了负面影响。不过在阐述的时候，行文结构需要调整一下，使思路显得更清晰。
　　这篇文章的结构是这样的：开头段刚刚提出全球化势头凶猛，然后马上就论述其积极作用；第二段论及其负面作用；第三、四段讨论对不同领域的不同影响，一正一负。这样安排好像并不协调，让人觉得第一段和第三段重复，第二段与第四段重复。
　　开头段是全文的lead，是全篇的统帅，不宜急于展开论述，而应摆明观点，即对全球化影响的看法与态度。可以指出，全球化已成为难以阻挡的趋势，它带来的冲击是前所未有的，其中有正面的，也有负面的，因此我们对待全球化的态度也不可能是单一的，而应视情况而定。
　　第二段说明全球化使很多领域受益，如促进科技和经济合作，提供了更多的教育渠道，加强了各国人民之间的交流等等。
　　第三段说明全球化也在一些领域也带来了负面影响，如全球化使各国市场联系更紧密，一个角落的风吹草动会迅速波及全球。东南亚金融危机的迅速蔓延，就是全球化负作用的一个典型例子。同时，人们越来越清楚地看到，全球化并没有缩小各国之间的鸿沟，反而加速了贫富分化。而信息与文化的传播也对许多国家的社会观念造成了冲击。
　　第四段还可以指出，全球化还带来了很多新的问题，比如文中提到的网络犯罪（色情、拐卖儿童、病毒、黑客和信用诈骗）以及恐怖分子更容易联络等。由于信息的全球化消除了人们联络的障碍以及网络所具有的匿名特性，打击跨国犯罪和恐怖活动的努力面临越来越大的困难。
　　第五段可以引申一下，说明对待全球化有两种截然不同的态度，一种是全盘接受，宣布人类已经进入全球化时代，世界大同即将到来；另一种是全盘反对，称其有百害而无一益。
　　最后一段可以说，随着全球化这个名词引发的热情逐渐消褪，人们正在越来越冷静地看待它。也许最好的办法是扬长避短，利用它的好处促进各国的发展，同时通过加强国际合作来对付它所带来的负面影响。　　

sallyxinduUID: 2131253

谢谢gtrand对结构所提出的建议，恩，很有感触，注意了

Archer1123UID: 206148

Outline
1，        经济和通信和全球化带来的正面影响使大部分领域受益，举例，改革开放给中国带来了许多好处
2，        经济和通信的全球化也伴随着负面影响，距离，网络犯罪，网恋骗局等
3，        全球化带来的益处在各个领域是不一样的，教育和科学领域受益最大
4，        但是在政治和艺术领域，各自的特色比全球一体化更重要。

正文
Globalization in telecommunications and interdependency of economies in various countries all over the wrold are emerging in as好点吧?an overwhelming momentum. The influences brought with them are as well all-pervading.感觉有点怪怪的They brings all-prevading influence as well. 是这个意思吗？influence 当作影响应该是不可数名词吧？However, only the positive influence is conducive to our huam beings. 我觉得我们通常理解positive inluence应该就是有利于人类的influence吧？For example, throught throughgloble communication, people can learn the advanced notions of other countries, throught the communications with others we could be told about our mistakes in thinking and therefore we can revise our faults in order to be better in development. in order to ...感觉有点怪怪的，...faults, which contributs to the better development. Also, enterprises worldwide worldwide做定语不需要后置吧？are endowed with more access to implementation of multi-lateral trade so as to they can trade with foreign enterprises more freely with comparatively much less constrications and limitation in virtue of interdependency in economies. These are all positive effects caused by globalization in both economy and communication which make our society more prosperous and of 删掉more convenienceconvenient.

On the other hand,there are a great deal of undeniable negative consequences of in consequence of the unification. A predominant demonstration involves the licentious phenomena in internet,people chat with each other in dirty and even obscene words, criminal skills and pornographies are widely promulgated on computer screens, promulgate 和 screen不太搭配吧？通过电脑传播或者显示在屏幕上 insurrectional letters are transmitted via emails to a large populationpopulation不太合适吧. Consequentely, a marjority of people are affected by these outer facors, no matter greatly or slightly, while only a few can prevent themselves from being contaminated by these harmful stimuli due to their solid moral principles and self-control. As a results, the whole world may be in a status of chaos and disorder, or even on the verge of distinction should all the negative impacts of international communication and economies are estending expanding ?还是不明白这个句子的结构，should all...不应该是一个单独的句子吗？without stipulation laid to inhibitate inhibiting the maleficent influences.

What’s more, the extent to which different areas benefit varies greatly in each individual realm of subject. In terms of this, education may has the greatest opportunity to benefit from these globle networks. Students get more accesses access to the information provided by network in that they could be in a mass of information concerning all topics they want should they sit in front of the computer screen using the mouthmouse to press any relevant link that fits their wishwishes. As a result, they will become more and more insightful and knowledgable. Meanwhile, distant-learning class make it possible for students from different places to “sit”in the same “class” simultaneously and listen to the same lesson. Similarly, globle networks bring hightlights in the field of science because scientists now could just think out a potential idea and then sends send it to other professionals in this field for discussion, which, in the past, could only be conducted if only all the scientist travel a long distance to the same place and hold a meeting there. So, it’s out of doubt question that globle network save a lot of time and energy for scientists.

Yet, in contrast, globalization in communication and economies may be more of a threat than benefit bring more threat than benefit in areas like politics and arts which call for authority and identity respectively.,我觉得题目的意思是globalization而不是globalization in communication and economies对政治和艺术的影响 consider that if all the insurgence-intended people all over the world connive together with the help of globle communication and globle economy to support their plot finacially at different placeplaces, the government will view this as a threat to their powerpower好像不太合适，authority如何？,thus pondering on all possible methods to repress them and eliminate any channels for their communication. When comes to arts, the unified standerd in design and thinking may result in the homogenization which runs contrary to the essence of arts as identity

In the final analysis,globle networks bring both positive and negative influences on our society and the degree of it’s effect is quite different accordingly
可以写我们应该如何做吧，呵呵字数591，觉得最后一段太浅了，但总又不知道该再写点什么了，望大家指教。

[ Last edited by Archer1123 on 2005-12-14 at 00:01 ]

superficialUID: 2151788

sally,你看看这篇对嘉文博译的反问的分析吧，我觉得那个楼主说得好，结尾如果能像范文那样将主题升华就好了。
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=125197

sallyxinduUID: 2131253

Originally posted by superficial at 2005-12-13 23:54
sally,你看看这篇对嘉文博译的反问的分析吧，我觉得那个楼主说得好，结尾如果能像范文那样将主题升华就好了。
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=125197

谢谢superficial的建议，我一定抽时间去看