[作文互改N0.27]stoneSQ

stoneSQUID: 2145827

更新的：
Since a company announced its investment plan for building a large factory near our community, the hot discussion topic – advantages and disadvantages coming along with the factory - has been going on among the residents. Some who oppose this plan argue that it would bring negative effects to their lives, while others including me support this project because advantages in contrast to disadvantages are the major aspect of the issue considering the specific situations of my community.

Among all the disadvantages listed by opponents, environmental problems seem to rank first. The silence and peace would be disturbed by the roaring of the machines or by noises of streams of rushing people. What’s more, if the factory dismisses some poisonous chemical materials into rivers, lakes or air, residents’ health would suffer detrimental effects directly or indirectly.

However, advantages are more worthy of our attention, no matter from individual development aspects or from economic prosperity of the whole region. Such a large factory will certainly provide a number of job opportunities and residents in the community would attain priority. In addition, the factory with the purpose to make their workers work more efficiently and effectively would provide a comfortable and pleasant living environment to their workers by investing to construct the community, by purchasing some public sports facilities for example. Furthermore, economy in this region would make measurable and constant progress because of the factory’s chain-effect on other businesses such as transportation systems, restaurant services and commerce. Another advantage deserves to be mentioned here is tax incomes produced by the factory to the local government, who would make reasonable use of the capitals to benefit the residents.

Considering that our community lies in such a stage that employment rate is relatively low and economy potential has not been developed sufficiently, it is an advisable choice to establish a large-scale and modern factory. As far as the disadvantages such as pollution problems are concerned, they are likely to be lessened and solved by the means of scientific management and advanced technological processing.

Although disadvantages coexist with advantages on the issue of building a large factory near our community, I prefer to highlight the advantages and support the plan, because I believe that providing job opportunities and promoting regional economic prosperity are fundamental for individuals and community as a whole.



昨天偷懒了，刚刚写的，自己改了下先
35mins; 350words
How would you react when you heard the news – a large factory will be built near your community? There are must be people who hold different attitudes: some advocate this plan, considering all the benefits brought with it; others oppose it, being worried that it will affect their life negatively. From a whole perspective, both advantages and disadvantages indeed exist.

Advantages along with the building of the large factory are apparent, no matter from individual development aspect or from economic prosperity of the whole region where the community is located. For every resident in the community, such a large factory will certainly provide much more job opportunities. In addition, generally speaking, the factory with the purpose to make their workers work more efficiently and effectively would provide their workers with a comfortable and pleasant living environment by investing to construct the community, such as some public sports facilities, parks and so forth. What’s more, economy in this region would make measurable and constant progress because of the factory’s chain-effect on other industries including transportation system, restaurant services and commerce.

Despite of the above advantages, disadvantages are also nonnegligible, among which pollution problems rank first in the aspects of influencing people’s daily life. Such a large factory would more or less introduce some kinds of pollutants into people’s living environment. For example, annoying noises would lower people’s sleeping quality. If the factory dismiss some chemical materials into rivers, lakes or air, people’s health would suffer detrimental effects directly or indirectly.

Although disadvantages coexist with advantages on the question of building a large factory near a community, I prefer to emphasize the advantages, because I believe that providing job opportunities and promoting regional economic prosperity are fundamental for individuals and society as a whole. As far as the disadvantages such as pollution problems are concerned, they are likely to be lessened and solved by the means of scientific management and advanced technological processing. We can not make decision to carry out a plan only when this plan is perfect and do not have any defaults at all in that it is impossible.

[ Last edited by stoneSQ on 2005-12-20 at 14:04 ]

zhangheng1020UID: 2130513

占座

12月18日，1T作文第二期同主题写作。
题目：
A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.我把这类叫做盖房子题型. 读过题库的同学一定发现,有一类这样的题,盖工厂,大学,餐厅~~~ 希望大家在此前已经看过这些题了 希望大家在写的时候能考虑到其他几道同类型的题,看看能不能一起准备,比如相同的观点和论述句子等. 还有,注意审题,Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.一定都要说哦.还有就是态度Do you support or oppose

New Factory, Better Hometown
Though many people complained that the new factory exploration will bring the environments pressure and the tendency of a fast living style, I do prefer the factory building in my community for the following reasons:   

I live in a small town where there are lots of unexplored lands. In my community, most of the people still live under the standard living level. Some of them have to work on a little farm for their bread with their bare hand. Those years of hard work can’t bring lots of income. Though working very tough, they just feed themselves. Without lots of working opportunity, it is obviously that their children and their grandchildren have to hand down their father’s farm work.. I have to say, it is quite a pity since the lack of income will lead to the shortage in educational input and that fact will lead to a further idleness.

A new factory might break all those depressive cycling. We have enough space and plenty of labor in our town. You might say it is all cheap labor force though. Compared with the former living condition, those people do live a better life with less working intension. Since the price can still be competitive compared with the devotion of laborage in big city, why not built a new factory here? It will be a double win!!               

What a new factory will bring us is not only a better family income or more working opportunities. The further health care center and the public hospital will be built up also, as well as other social welfare. Then people can live in a much convent place with a proper consume ability matched.

I have to admit that the factory might carry pollution to its environment, but such question can be solved with enough prevent attention, carefully organizing and proper management. The life might be faster in future, but we will adapt and enjoy the modern society in the mean while

In short, it is hard to say if a factory building can be perfect in where community. As for my hometown, it is definitely that the benefit is above the shortage. That is the reason why I am expecting for the new factory building, as I am also expecting a better future in my hometown.

[ Last edited by zhangheng1020 on 2005-12-19 at 23:25 ]

ggqUID: 2145333

How would you react when you heard the news – a large factory will be built near your community?这样开篇好吗？ There are must be people who hold different attitudes: some advocate直接用表示支持的词是不是更合理些 this plan, considering all the benefits brought with it; others oppose it, being worried that it will affect their life单数还是复数？ negatively. From a whole perspective确信这样的说法吗？, both advantages and disadvantages indeed exist.

Advantages along with不当，可以在前面加个动词，如brought the building of the large factory are apparent, no matter from individual development aspect or from economic prosperity of the whole region where the community is located. For every resident in the community, such a large factory will certainly provide much more job opportunities. In addition, generally speaking两个多了点吧，忍痛割爱吧, the factory with the purpose to make their workers work more efficiently and effectively would provide their workers with a comfortable and pleasant living environment by investing to construct the community, such as some public sports facilities, parks and so forth. What’s more, economy in this region anwould make measurable d constant progress because of the factory’s chain-effect on other industries including transportation system, restaurant services and commerce注意前面用的是industries那样的话这些例子都不当.

Despite of the above advantages, disadvantages are also nonnegligible怎么金山上查不到这个词, among which pollution problems rankthe first in the aspects of influencing用个表贬义的 people’s daily life. Such a large factory would more or less introduce妥当吗？ some kinds of pollutants into people’s living environment. For example, annoying noises would lower people’s sleeping quality. If the factory dismiss some chemical materials into rivers, lakes or air, people’s health would suffer detrimental effects用great danger会不会更准确，我不肯定，只是不知道lz的用法是否肯定对 directly or indirectly.

Although disadvantages coexist with advantages on the question这个准确吗？issue如何 of building a large factory near a community, I prefer to emphasize the advantages, because I believe that providing job opportunities and promoting regional economic prosperity are fundamental for individuals and society as a whole. As far as the disadvantages such as pollution problems, they are likely to be lessened and solved by the means of scientific management and advanced technological processing. We can not make decision to carry out a plan only when this plan is perfect and do not have any defaults at all in that it is impossible.这样结尾不好吧

lz的文章结构和我的一摸一样，没什么大的问题，就是不知道有些词用的准不准，文章的开头和结尾改进改进吧

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... p;page=2#pid2151845，我的，欢迎来拍

[ Last edited by ggq on 2005-12-19 at 19:25 ]

stoneSQUID: 2145827

谢谢楼上的辛苦劳动，我的开头和结尾似乎总是存在争议，上一篇也是一样，^_^
1.第二句就犯了个低级错误，不知当时是怎么想的，:(
2.advocate换成uphold,你的意思好像是advocate不能表示强烈的赞同观点哈，我一直以为可以的呢，不晓得啊，有哪位再说明一下呢？
3.life的单复数我一直用得比较乱，主要是没个正确的概念，这里又要求哪位给解释下？
4.From a whole perspective是我一时写的词，不过查一下，确实有这么说的；换成Comprehensively speaking似乎也说得过去；
5.过渡连接词最好不用在一起哈，对去掉一个，留前者；
6.industry个人感觉也有点大，business?
7.nonnegligible金山在线是查得到的，那表示“不容忽视”哪个词比较好呢？
8.influence->affect，还是这个合适点哈；introduce->bring
9.rank first,应该没有the吧;along with我怎么觉得还是可以的呢

其实当时写的时候真的没有太在意一些词的选择，随手就写上去了，回头看过来似乎就是不舒服哈，功力尚浅啊！

stoneSQUID: 2145827

最后一句改成：
It is impossible for us to make decision to carry out a plan only when this plan is perfect and do not have any defaults at all.

会有不同效果吗？

avexUID: 159089

How would you react when you heard the news – a large factory will be built near your community? There are must be 去掉are people who hold different attitudes: some advocate this plan, considering all the benefits brought with it; others oppose it, being worried that it will affect their life negatively. From a whole perspective, both advantages and disadvantages indeed exist. indeed放句尾比较好

Advantages along with the building of the large factory are apparent, no matter from individual development aspect 加s or from economic prosperity of the whole region where the community is located定从累赘了，去掉为好. For every resident in the community, such a large factory will certainly provide much more job opportunities. In addition, generally speaking,去掉一个吧 the factory with the purpose to make their workers work more efficiently and effectively would provide their workers with a comfortable and pleasant living environment by investing to construct the community, such as some public sports facilities, parks and so forth. What’s more, economy in this region would make measurable and constant progress because of the factory’s chain-effect on other industries including transportation system要不加冠次，要不取掉system, restaurant services and commerce.

Despite of the above advantages, disadvantages are also nonnegligible这个是？, among which pollution problems rank first in the aspects of influencing people’s daily life. Such a large factory 这个表述用两次了，换换比较好would more or less introduce some kinds of pollutants既然是下面直接跟nosie,还是换个笼统的词比较好 into people’s living environment. For example, annoying noises would lower people’s sleeping quality. If the factory dismiss some chemical materials adj.用poisonous比较好 into rivers, lakes or air, people’s health would suffer detrimental effects directly or indirectly.

Although disadvantages coexist with advantages on the question用deed或issue吧 of building a large factory near a community, I prefer to emphasize the advantages这句还是改改吧似乎不这么表意, because I believe that providing job opportunities and promoting regional economic prosperity are fundamental for individuals and society as a whole. As far as the disadvantages such as pollution problems are concerned, they are likely to be lessened and solved by the means of scientific management and advanced technological processing. We can not make decision to carry out a plan only when this plan is perfect and do not have any defaults at all in that it is impossible.这个有点未完的感觉，我觉得最后一段作总结即可，就不要induce或论证了，要不就单分出一段

我觉得优点方面的论证要加强和更加清晰，最后一段也很混乱

ps:感谢拍我的，我做了回复，欢迎再拍:)

larrypjpUID: 2132266

我看了看发现前面有人已经改过了  差不多都挺全的
再提点小建议 也是我经常要注意的  我们用的被动语态太多了其实能用主动的地方尽量用主动 这是我听外教说的 据说是反映了东西方对待事物不同的态度
还有就是推荐胡敏那本书给你看看 语言真的很地道 极爽

zhangheng1020UID: 2130513

这篇的结构明显比上一篇要好得多，看出来很用心血的（除了第二句，可能当时太累了）^=^

35mins; 350words
How would you react when you heard the news – a large factory will be built near your community? There must be people who hold different attitudes: some advocate this plan, considering all the benefits brought with it; others oppose it, being worried that it will affect their life negatively. From a whole perspective, both advantages and disadvantages indeed exist. (我可以感到您用这样的开头是想吸引评分员的注意，可是有的高人说过，开头用疑问句并不符合外国人的阅读习惯，这是中国人一厢情愿的想法。所以要是文字的功底并不出彩——比如我，汗一个，最好还是比较稳妥地开头。
Opposed or supported though, it is a tendency that the CEO prefer to build their new factory in the community. With advantage as well as disadvantage as this tendency bringing to us, some one say “yes” while others say “no”. I am opposed/ support for this exploration/ development in my hometown. (And my opinion in this field is showed as follows)

Advantages along with the building of the large factory are apparent, no matter from individual development aspect or from economic prosperity of the whole region where the community is located. For every resident in the community, such a large factory will certainly provide much more job opportunities. In addition, generally speaking, the factory with the purpose to make their workers work more efficiently and effectively would provide their workers with a comfortable and pleasant living environment by investing to construct the community, such as some public sports facilities, parks and so forth. What’s more, economy in this region would make measurable and constant progress because of the factory’s chain-effect on other industries including transportation system, restaurant services and commerce.

gDespite of the above advantages, disadvantages are also nonnegligible, among which pollution problems rank first in the aspects of influencing people’s daily life. Such a large factory would more or less introduce some kinds of pollutants into people’s living environment. For example, annoying noises would lower people’s sleeping quality. If the factory dismiss some chemical materials into rivers, lakes or air, people’s health would suffer detrimental effects directly or indirectly.

Although disadvantages coexist with advantages on the question of building a large factory near a community, I prefer to emphasize the advantages, because I believe that providing job opportunities and promoting regional economic prosperity are fundamental for individuals and society as a whole. As far as the disadvantages such as pollution problems are concerned, they are likely to be lessened and solved by the means of scientific management and advanced technological processing. We can not make decision to carry out a plan only when this plan is perfect and do not have any defaults at all in that it is impossible.

个人意见，一般来说，我比较习惯如果支持，那我的结构式为 主题――反对意见――支持意见――结论。这样的让步我觉得更流畅一点，这是因人而异的，不勉强。

[ Last edited by zhangheng1020 on 2005-12-20 at 01:21 ]

逆风飞羊UID: 182440

35分钟能写出这篇文章应该说是很不错的呢!
问题是,你在开头就应该说出自己的倾向,而不是等到最后才说.我一边看一边着急呢.
另外,像六楼说的,优点该加强. 最后一段调整一下,最好在之前另起一段,或者支持正,或者贬低反,总之让结尾更简洁清晰的好

yogurt4UID: 198389

很用心~
要坚持下去^^

griffinandrocUID: 201471

大早上的来不及了， 楼住的我已经改好了，中午发上来， 我先发下自己的，赞一下楼住的水平
time:37
words:350

Made by a company, the announcement of setting up a large factory near our community has risen up a fierce debate among peoples who live in the territory. Some one enjoys the benefits brought by the plant while the probable problems-such as environment pollution, the decrease of living standard, and etc-bother the rest. As far as I am concerned, I support the factory due to several reasons as follows.

The first one I must mention is about employment opportunities created by the coming large factory. During its construction processing, the company will hire hundreds of workers to build the factory, hence offering many jobs to the local unemployed. And then, after its construction, the plant requires a number of workers to operate its machines, and a small group of managements staff to organize them. Furthermore, the advertisement, the cook, the professional compute engineer, all of these people may fulfill the needs of the factory. It works like a spark in the dry woods and would settle the job problem of lots people.

Another reason to sustain the announcement is about its benefit to our economics. Of course, the the company itself can gain much money from the factory. Moreover, the population of the company may ask for some places such as restaurants, net bars, and etc for their entertainment. As a result, this need would foster the growth of a local service business and raise our incoming.

Admittedly, the probable disadvantages indeed exist. The industry waste produced by the plant, and the noise, the security danger, the living wasted by the increased population in our community will lower our living standard. However, these problems can be avoided through a careful and constructive discussion between the company and local dwellers. The industry will realize the advantages of a good image among the residents and be willing to sacrifice part of its profits for its benefits in the long run. Hardly could I find the reasons for the company not to regulate its behavior and reduce its negative effects as small as possible.

In conclusion, even though the establishment of a large factory will lead to some drawbacks for the community, in general, the advantages will outweigh the disadvantages. Therefore I bear the idea that a large factory can be constructed near our community.

zhangheng1020UID: 2130513

拍得比较狠，其实自己的文章才是最菜的~~
我觉得你的问题似乎在于用词，似乎小词的运用不是很熟练，结构是很好的。
建议看一下第一组的作业，他们的用词很好的
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... p;extra=&page=1

Made by a company, the announcement of setting up a large factory near our community has risen up a fierce debate among peoples who live in the territory(这个词运用的比较诡异:L有种地方武装割据的感觉). Some one enjoys the benefits brought by the plant while （主语这里似乎已经转换了）others complaind for the probable problems-such as environment pollution, the decrease of living standard, and etc-bother the rest. As far as I am concerned, I support the factory building (对象最好再明确限定) due to several reasons as follows.

The first one I must mention is about employment opportunities created by the coming large factory. During its construction processing, the company will hire hundreds of workers to build the factory, hence （这里的主语要是省略，会有指代factory的感觉）  that will offering many jobs to the local unemployed. And then, after its construction, the plant requires a number of workers to operate its machines, and a small group of managements staff to organize them. Furthermore, the advertisement designer 这个，并列最好是一个种类的, the cook, the professional compute engineer, all of these people may fulfill the needs of the factory. It works like a spark in the dry woods and would settle the job problem of lots people.

Another reason to sustain the announcement is about? for? (reason about? reason for? ) its benefit to our economics. Of course, the the company itself can gain much money from the factory. Moreover, the population of the company may ask for some places such as restaurants, net bars, and etc for their entertainment. As a result, this need would foster这个词也非常的诡异~~why not have a  try of "stimulate" ?the growth of a local service business and raise our incoming.

Admittedly, the probable disadvantages indeed exist. The industry waste produced by the plant, and the noise, the security danger, the living wasted by the increased population in our community will lower our living standard. However, these problems can be avoided through a careful and constructive discussion between the company and local dwellers. The industry will realize the advantages of a good image among the residents and be willing to sacrifice part of its profits for its benefits in the long run. Hardly could I find the reasons for the company not to regulate its behavior and reduce its negative effects as small as possible.

In conclusion, even though the establishment of a large factory will lead to some drawbacks for the community, in general, the advantages will outweigh the disadvantages. Therefore I bear :L:Lthe idea that a large factory can be constructed near our community.

常见的支持的说法
support
uphold
acclamation
advocacy
bear up
be for
go for
stand up
vindication
其他表示支持意见的行动
support
aid
bolster
defend
encourage
defend
protect
safeguard
shield
PS:
territory
[5terItErI; (?@) -tC:rI]
n.
-ries
领土；版图；领地
This island is our territory.
这个岛是我国领土。
领域；地盘；地域
范围；管区
Wild animals will not allow other animals to enter their territory.
野生动物不许其他动物进入它们的领地。

foster
fos.ter
AHD:[fô“st…r, f¼s“t…r]
D.J.[6f%8st*, 6f%st*]
K.K.[6f%st+, 6f$st+]
v.tr.（及物动词）
fos.tered， fos.ter.ing， fos.ters
To bring up; nurture:
养育，抚养：
bear and foster offspring.See Synonyms at nurture
生养和抚养后代参见 nurture
To promote the growth and development of; cultivate:
促进，培养：促进生长、发展等；培养：
detect and foster artistic talent.See Synonyms at advance
发展并培养艺术才能参见


bear 1
(from morden englisg-chinese dictionary)
[beE(r)]
vt., vi.
bore, borne, bearing
载运；带走
负荷；负重
有；显示
（对某人）怀有（情感）
适合于
生（孩子）
生产（农作物或水果）
Different trees bear different fruits.
什么样的树结什么样的果。
忍受
He bears a grudge against me because I took his place in the office.
他对我怀恨在心,因为我取代了他在办公室里的位置。
to bear pain
忍痛
举止
处身；持己
转向
具有
What he has just said does not bear such a construction.
他刚才的话不是这样的意思。
X bears no relation to Y.
X和Y没有关。


[ Last edited by zhangheng1020 on 2005-12-20 at 12:01 ]

griffinandrocUID: 201471

感谢12楼的朋友， 头一次写， 写字比打字慢太多，手忙脚乱的，谢谢批评， 下面是我自己改的楼主的文章。主要是从结构和逻辑来看的， 大家也见到了，词汇和句法我自己比较差，呵呵。
[作文互改N0.27]stoneSQ

昨天偷懒了，刚刚写的，自己改了下先
35mins; 350words
How would you react when you heard the news – a large factory will be built near your community? There are must be people who hold different attitudes: some advocate this plan, considering all the benefits brought with it; others oppose it, being worried that it will affect their life negatively. From a whole perspective, both advantages and disadvantages indeed exist.（一开始打太极，这样不说自己的观点好吗？）

Advantages along with the building of the large factory are apparent, no matter（？？？这里是不是应该用both…and …） from individual development aspect or from economic prosperity of the whole region where the community is located. For every resident in the community, such a large factory will certainly provide much more job opportunities. In addition, generally speaking, the factory with the purpose to make their workers work more efficiently and effectively would provide their workers with a comfortable and pleasant living environment by investing to construct the community, such as some public sports facilities, parks and so forth. What’s more, economy in this region would make measurable and constant progress because of the factory’s chain-effect on other industries including transportation system, restaurant services and commerce.（好段落，列举，展开的连接词汇都很到位，兄弟想到自己，汗一下）

Despite of the above advantages, disadvantages are also nonnegligible(这个词汇？？), （从句意来看，后面应该是两句话的内容，是不是应该分开说）among which pollution problems rank first in the aspects of influencing people’s daily life. Such a large factory would more or less introduce some kinds of pollutants into people’s living environment. For example, annoying noises would lower people’s sleeping quality. If the factory dismiss some chemical materials into rivers, lakes or air, people’s health would suffer detrimental effects directly or indirectly. A L2a;l/S
)t:Y;e h v9q r2H
Although disadvantages coexist with advantages on the question of building a large factory near a community, I prefer to emphasize the advantages, （这和上一段第一句我认为的问题一样，我认为应该分成两个句子，既然一开始就有了although， because这个连词完全可以另起一句）because I believe that providing job opportunities and promoting regional economic prosperity are fundamental for individuals and society as a whole. As far as the disadvantages such as pollution problems are concerned, they are likely to be lessened and solved by the means of scientific management and advanced technological processing. We can not make decision to carry out a plan only when this plan is perfect and do not have any defaults at all in that it is impossible
楼主的文章很好，逻辑很到位，说理很清晰，句子的运用也比较恰当，其实主要问题和前面几位说到的差不多，应该是一开始提出论点，其他的都是小毛病了。

stoneSQUID: 2145827

Though （Although?）many people complained that the new factory exploration will bring the environments （environmental?）pressure and the tendency of a fast （rushing?）living style, I do prefer the factory building in my community for the following reasons:简单明了，直入主题！
I live in a small town where there are lots of unexplored lands. In my community, most of the （去掉？）people still live under the standard living level. Some of them have to work on a little farm for their bread with their bare（barren?） hand. Those years of hard work can’t bring lots of income. Though working very tough（laboriously?）, they just feed themselves. Without lots of working opportunity, it is obviously （adj?）that their children and their grandchildren have to hand down （over?）their father’s farm work.. I have to say, it is quite a pity since the lack of income will lead to the shortage in educational input and that fact will lead to a further idleness.这一整段描述你的家乡现状，似乎没这个必要，我觉得简单用一两句话说明一下即可，因为咱们的重点实在论证，而不是在叙述
A new factory might break all those depressive cycling（数的前后不一致）. We have enough space and plenty of labor in our town. You might say it is all cheap labor force though. Compared with the former living condition, those people do live a better life with less working intension. Since the price can still be competitive compared with the devotion of laborage in big city, why not built a new factory here? It will be a double win!What a new factory will bring us is not only a better family income or more working opportunities. （not only... but also?）The further health care center and the public hospital will be built up also, as well as other social welfare. Then people can live in a much convent（？） place with a proper consume（？） ability matched.说理似乎欠点力度
I have to admit that the factory might carry（？） pollution to its（？） environment, but such question（problems？） can be solved with（？） enough prevent attention, carefully organizing and proper management. The life might be faster in future, but we will adapt （？get accustomed to it）and enjoy the modern society in the mean while.
In short, it is hard to say if a factory building can be perfect in where（？） community. As for my hometown, it is definitely（？） that the benefit is above the shortage. That is the reason why I am expecting for the new factory building, as I am also expecting a better future in my hometown

论证的结构和我们大多人似乎不太一样，我不敢肯定这样论证是不是有说服力，不过好像不是托福的套路哈。词汇，句式还是要好好斟酌下。文中你用了两次though，均是在句首，似乎不对吧，好像though是不能放在句首的啊，改成although吧

[ Last edited by stoneSQ on 2005-12-20 at 14:29 ]

stoneSQUID: 2145827

我已经改过我的作文了，开门见山；
both ... and ... 可以，不知道这么用no matter ... or ...是否可以，好像其他gter没给什么意见；
nonnegligible这个词争议还真多，去掉了；

可以再看看我的更新文章，看看是不是该改的都改过了，谢谢中肯的建议