Argument140 kito 小组作业

bunnymz2005UID: 2146758

ARGUMENT 140
The following appeared in a report of the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University.

"During her seventeen years as a professor of botany, Professor Thomas has proved herself to be well worth her annual salary of $50,000. Her classes are among the largest at the university, demonstrating her popularity among students. Moreover, the money she has brought to the university in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years. Therefore, in consideration of Professor Thomas' demonstrated teaching and research abilities, we recommend that she receive a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson; without such a raise and promotion, we fear that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college."WORDS：461         TIME：0:52:51          DATE：2005-12-19

Outline：
1.        学生的人数与一个教授的受欢迎程度没有必然的联系（可能是必修，学生不得不来上课；也可能这个教授给的分数比较高，学生当然喜欢选，可是这不代表受欢迎）
2.        文中提到前两年她带来的研究资金超过了她每年的薪金，可是之前的情况完全不知（前几年也许是没有或很少的研究资金）
3.        决定教授去留的因素并不一定是职位升迁，加薪。（科研条件，大学的知名度等等）


The author recommends that Elm City University should give Professor Thomas a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson. In order to bolster this recommendation, the author points out that her classes are among the largest at the university and that she brought more money in research grants than her salary in the last two years. However, if we take a careful examination on the claim, several flaws would be exposed conspicuously.

To begin with, that the scale of her classes is largest at the university does not necessarily imply that she is popular among students. It is entirely possible that the course she teaches is compulsory for most students at the university. Or there is a good chance that she always gives higher score than other Professors. Without ruling out these possibilities, the author would not convince me of Professor Thomas' popularity among students.

In addition, lacking specific information about the previous 15 years, the assumption that Professor Thomas is well worth her annual salary of $50,000 is open to doubt. It may be possible that in the previous 15 years Professor Thomas did not bring any money or less than the salary she got to the university and thus Elm City University actually suffered a great loss in that only 2 years out of 17 years were beneficial. Again, even if the past 17 years just like each of the last two years she brought more research grants than her salary, the Elm City University, nevertheless, may not be profitable in that the research grants may not be used in or by the university. There is a good chance that the research grants were devoted to some projects which results were not certain. In that case, the Elm City University would not obtain any interest, instead may lose more money.

Last but not least, the author provides no evidence to demonstrate that without $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson Professor Thomas will leave. The author fails to take into account other factors that may also influence Professor's decision, such as the research environment and equipment, the reputation of Elm City University throughout the nation, and so on. What's more, even if the raise and the promotion were accurately the reason for her leave, is it enough for her to stay only given $10,000 more and a promotion to a Department Chairperson? Since the author fails to respond to these concerns, the assumption would be not convincing for me.

To sum up, the argument is weaken by the fallacies discussed above, in order to make it more convincible, the author should provide evidence on her classes and the money she brought to the university before the past two years. Otherwise, the argument will be logically unfounded.

呵呵，第一次把时间限制在了一个小时之内，谢谢您的修改。^-^

[ Last edited by bunnymz2005 on 2005-12-20 at 14:36 ]

jingjingtousUID: 2164820

The author recommends that Elm City University should give Professor Thomas a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson. In order to bolster this recommendation, the author points out that her classes are among the largest at the university and that she brought more money in research grants than her salary in the last two years.（The author further argues that unless the implement this recommendation Thomas is likely to defect another school.觉得加上这句可以把Commitee的论据都概括进去） However, if we take a careful examination on the claim, several flaws would be exposed conspicuously.(第一段论述的很好，只是用author作第一人称感觉好像不大好，文章应该是Committee全体成员的意见，当然author适用于所以argument文章，但是根据首句提示变换一下会不会更好些，个人愚见）
To begin with, the fact that the scale of her classes is the largest at the university does not necessarily imply that she is popular among students. It is entirely possible that the courses（对应前面的classes） she teaches arecompulsory(好词,比我的required好多了) for most students at the university. Or there is a good chance that she always gives higher score than other Professors.（这句话感觉怪怪的，是否可以students in her classes have more opportunities to gain higher scores than other those of other professors's）Without ruling out these possibilities, the author would(can) not convince me of Professor Thomas' popularity among students.(这段论述主要针对Thomas所教班级大不能说明她受学生欢迎展开，最好能进一步说一下：由此更不能推断她的教学水平高）
In addition, lacking specific information about the previous 15 years(这句话不理解，过去十五年的什么？是Thomas的performance吗，15年会不会太夸张了点，可能她15年前还是学生呢？【呵呵，玩笑】个人认为about achievementl of professor Thomas in the previous years), the assumption that Professor Thomas is well worth(deserve?) her annual salary of $50,000 is open to doubt. It may be possible不要犯这个经典错误^_-^ that in the previous 15(去掉） years Professor Thomas did not bring any money or less than the salary she got to the university and thus Elm City University actually suffered a great loss in that only 2 years out of 17 years were beneficial. Again, even if in the past 17 years just like each of the last two years she brought more research grants than her salary, the Elm City University, nevertheless, may not be profitable（beneficial？） in that the research grants may not be used in or by the university. There is a good chance that the research grants were devoted to some projects which(whose) results were not certain.(其实这句可以不必写的，前面说研究经费可能不会被用于学校已经足够反驳了，点到为止吧) In that case, the Elm City University would not obtain any interest, instead may lose more money. (其实这段象第一段一样论证Thomas的研究经费超过年薪与她的研究能力无关)
Last but not least, the author provides no evidence to demonstrate去掉 that without a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson Professor Thomas will leave. The author fails to take into account other factors that may also influence Professor's decision, such as the research environment and equipment, the reputation of Elm City University throughout the nation, and so on. What's more, even if the raise and the去掉 promotion were accurately the reasons for her leave(用stay这应该是她留的原因，如果非要说for her leave的话，前面应该用改成：the absence of the salary raise and promotion were actually the reasons for her leave), is it enough for her to stay only given $10,000 more and a promotion to a去掉职位之前不加定冠词 Department Chairperson? Since the author fails to respond to these concerns, the assumption would be not(not be) convincing for me去掉.

To sum up, the argument is weaken by the fallacies discussed above, in order to make it more convincible(to strengthen it?可能每个人的写作风格不同吧，呵呵), the author should provide clear(作者有证据，但是没有提供更清晰的证据)evidence on her classes  and the amount of money she brought to the university before the past two years. 最后一个论据的批判怎么不提一下呢？Otherwise, the argument will be logically unfounded.（感觉结尾有些仓促和草率，最好能把所有批判的点都提一下）

基本上把文章的错误都找出来了，也进行了充分的批判，论据的批判也非常合理（例举它因），只是觉得前两个论据的批判可以在她的教学水平和研究能力上进一步用推测法批判一下，还有文章结尾显得有些草率。总的来说写的很好。本人水平有限，只能说这么多了，若有得罪的地方，多多包涵！哦，对了，下次不要犯经典错误了。
还有，看了你给我的issue文章的评语，受益非浅！你的文采比我好，词汇变换比我灵活，向你学习！Fighting

leedgenUID: 160823

The author recommends that Elm City University should give Professor Thomas a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson. In order to bolster（好词） this recommendation, the author points out that her classes are among the largest at the university and that she brought more money in research grants than her salary in the last two years. The author further argues that unless the implement this recommendation Thomas is likely to defect（这个是什么意思，背叛？） another school. However, if we take a careful examination on the claim, several flaws would be exposed conspicuously.

To begin with, the fact that the scale of her classes is the largest at the university does not necessarily imply that she is popular among students. It is entirely possible that the courses she teaches are compulsory for most students at the university. Or there is a good chance that she always gives higher score than other Professors.Without ruling out these possibilities, the author would not convince me of Professor Thomas' popularity among students.

In addition, lacking specific information about the previous 15 years(同意楼上的，不需要指出确定的年数，只要指出两年的数据不足以说明……), the assumption that Professor Thomas is well worth her annual salary of $50,000 is open to doubt. It may be possible that in the previous 15 years Professor Thomas did not bring any money or less than the salary she got to the university and thus Elm City University actually suffered a great loss in that only 2 years out of 17 years were beneficial. Again, even if in the past 17 years just like each of the last two years she brought more research grants than her salary, the Elm City University, nevertheless, may not be profitable in that the research grants may not be used in or by the university. There is a good chance that the research grants were devoted to some projects which(whose) results were not certain. In that case, the Elm City University would not obtain any interest, instead may lose more money. 这一段是讲研究投入大于研究资金吗？看着有点晕，不太明白，呵呵

Last but not least, the author provides no evidence to demonstrate that without a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson Professor Thomas will leave. The author fails to take into account other factors that may also influence Professor's decision, such as the research environment and equipment, the reputation of Elm City University throughout the nation, and so on. What's more, even if the raise and the promotion were accurately the reasons for her leave, is it enough for her to stay only given $10,000 more and a promotion to a Department Chairperson? Since the author fails to respond to these concerns, the assumption would be not (not be) convincing for me（for me去掉）.

To sum up, the argument is weaken by the fallacies discussed above, in order to make it more convincible, the author should provide clear evidence on her classes  and the amount of money she brought to the university before the past two years. Otherwise, the argument will be logically unfounded. 最后第二段的那个论据也可以提一下

不错，字数足够，条理也很清楚

gaojiehahaUID: 2149729

The author recommends that Elm City University should give Professor Thomas a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson. In order to bolster(好词！不常用的) this recommendation, the author points out that her classes are among the largest at the university and that she brought more money in research grants than her salary in the last two years. However, if we take a careful examination on the claim, several flaws would be exposed conspicuously.

To begin with, that the scale of her classes is largest at the university does not necessarily imply that she is popular among students. It is entirely possible that the course she teaches is compulsory for most students at the university. Or there is a good chance that she always gives higher score than other Professors. Without ruling out（好词！） these possibilities, the author would not convince me of Professor Thomas' popularity among students.

In addition, lacking specific information about the previous 15 years, the assumption that Professor Thomas is well worth her annual salary of $50,000 is open to doubt.（好！） It may be possible that in the previous 15 years Professor Thomas did not bring any money or less than the salary she got to the university and thus Elm City University actually suffered a great loss in that（这中间没有因果关系吧？） only 2 years out of 17 years were beneficial. Again, even if the past 17 years just like each of the last two years she brought more research grants than her salary, the Elm City University, nevertheless, may not be profitable in that the research grants may not be used in or by the university. There is a good chance that the research grants were devoted to some projects which results were not certain. In that case, the Elm City University would not obtain any interest, instead may lose more money.（这句话有些多余）

Last but not least, the author provides no evidence to demonstrate that without $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson Professor Thomas will leave. The author fails to take into account other factors that may also influence Professor's decision, such as the research environment and equipment, the reputation of Elm City University throughout the nation, and so on. What's more, even if the raise and the promotion were accurately the reason for her leave, is it enough for her to stay only given $10,000 more and a promotion to a Department Chairperson? Since the author fails to respond to these concerns, the assumption would be not convincing for me.

To sum up, the argument is weaken by the fallacies（这个词好像有些过了，） discussed above, in order to make it more convincible, the author should provide evidence on her classes and the money she brought to the university before the past two years. Otherwise, the argument will be logically unfounded.

呵呵，第一次把时间限制在了一个小时之内，谢谢您的修改。^-^

不错，把时间控制在一小时内写成这样，挺不错的
逻辑和论证都没什么大问题，继续加油！

jingjingtousUID: 2164820

对了，你的outline呢？看来我的评论以后要简练些，呵呵

bunnymz2005UID: 2146758

有这么多人帮我改，真是让我太感动了，我本以为完成份内工作就好了，看见大家这么付出，我也要向大家学习。可是最近要考试了，压力很大，我会完成该完成的工作的。等我考完试了，一定要回报大家的。^-^