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[i习作temp] Issue123 外在和内在,欢迎大家批评! [复制链接]

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发表于 2005-12-26 23:38:12 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Issue123  第15篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧!

------题目------
It is possible to identify a person's politics within a very short time of meeting him or her. Everything about people—their clothes, their friends, the way they talk, what they eat—reflects their political beliefs.

提纲:
宗教团体中人们的外表和行为反映信仰,但是现在社会则不是这样。
1、        宗教团体中人们外表和行为反映信仰:佛教徒淡薄名利,就是他们信仰的缘故;
2、        现在社会人们的行为和表现日渐相同,据此很难明确他们的想法:
全球的人们穿一样的工作服,吃着相似的快餐,同样的态度回答客户的问题,根据相同的原则交朋友,从这些很难看出他们真正喜欢什么,厌恶什么。

------正文------
Belief, a form of spiritual conviction of individuals, plays an important role in directing the way by which people behave in society. In the sense, sometimes an ephemeral contact with somebody indeed can mirror what the one believes and insists on. However, in other cases not relevant to religion, exterior appearance such as clothes, friends, speaking and food is not of response to what they think, as discussed below.

Admittedly, in certain cases, especially in religious groups, just by meeting somebody we can understand what the one thinks and advocates, because moral value can be embodied with specific words and behavior in general. Take a Buddhist for example. When we talk about something related to fame, social status, fortune and so forth with the one, what the one shows is merely indifferent and apathetic about them. Undoubtedly the attitude towards mundane pursuits just is the exterior indicator of inner simple desire of Buddhism. In the respect, the way that Buddhist speaks and acts actually mirrors one's belief behind it.

Nonetheless, in modern society global village binds people together, and thus people tend to react in the same way. So in these communities it is difficult to identify various believes or doctrines of each person in different regions just by the way they react and behavior. For example, in modern society each employee in any corner of the world has to dress the same style of uniform for impression left to customers, to eat the similar fast food, to reply any questions customers consult with unified attitude as courtesy, and to make friends with common trait who can offer good advice or encourage which is beneficial to the one's cause and individual positive character. In fact the same standard on clothes, foods, attitude of speaking to customers, and friends of the one solely serves to promote the efficiency on work, to impress customers and to develop personal advantages on career and work in modern society where each person comply the same rule while the different individual characteristic is masked. Accordingly we can not simply know what type of clothing, foods and so on the one likes or dislikes, what difference is among verified ethic people. Since they maybe distaste such things above but have to behave like this way for the purpose of survival in modern competitive society. In short, No matter where you are, on matter what you embrace and resist, the appearance of people in modern communities mentioned above is not indicator of what they think, which group they belong to.

In sum, in religious groups we can ascertain the spiritual belief underlying the way some one dresses, eats, speaks and makes friends just by the apparent exterior character. Nevertheless, in modern society it is not easy to identify what is hidden the appearance only by what clothes one dresses, what sort of friends one makes, how one speaks and what one eats.
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沙发
发表于 2005-12-27 15:34:26 |只看该作者

其实都是关于一个问题:那个关键词——political belief

Belief, a form of spiritual conviction of individuals, plays an important role in directing the way by which people behave in society. In the sense, sometimes an ephemeral contact with somebody indeed can mirror what the one believes and insists on. However, in other cases not relevant to religion, exterior appearance such as clothes, friends, speaking and food is not of response to what they think, as discussed below.
belief,what they think 相对于political believe 而言,是更为宽泛的概念,开篇就用上了这样的两个词,是否合题?

Admittedly, in certain cases, especially in religious groups, just by meeting somebody we can understand what the one thinks and advocates, because moral value can be embodied with specific words and behavior in general. Take a Buddhist for example. When we talk about something related to fame, social status, fortune and so forth with the one, what the one shows is merely indifferent and apathetic about them. Undoubtedly the attitude towards mundane pursuits just is the exterior indicator of inner simple desire of Buddhism. In the respect, the way that Buddhist speaks and acts actually mirrors one's belief behind it.
1。还是觉得political belief 需要一个明确的界定,这里你用了很多词:thinks, advocates, 包括moral value, 它们是不是都可以归入political belief 的范畴呢?
2。因为你没有界定political belief,所以很难说后面的例子是否切合。而且,我是觉得,淡泊名利不能说是政治信仰,它更像是个人的一种处世态度和价值选择。


Nonetheless, in modern society global village binds people together, and thus people tend to react in the same way. So in these communities it is difficult to identify various believes or doctrines of each person in different regions just by the way they react and behavior. For example, in modern society each employee in any corner of the world has to dress the same style of uniform for impression left to customers, to eat the similar fast food, to reply any questions customers consult with unified attitude as courtesy, and to make friends with common trait who can offer good advice or encourage which is beneficial to the one's cause and individual positive character. In fact the same standard on clothes, foods, attitude of speaking to customers, and friends of the one solely serves to promote the efficiency on work, to impress customers and to develop personal advantages on career and work in modern society where each person comply the same rule while the different individual characteristic is masked. Accordingly we can not simply know what type of clothing, foods and so on the one likes or dislikes, what difference is among verified ethic people. Since they maybe distaste such things above but have to behave like this way for the purpose of survival in modern competitive society. In short, No matter where you are, on matter what you embrace and resist, the appearance of people in modern communities mentioned above is not indicator of what they think, which group they belong to.
从people 的appearance这个角度来讲已经很细致深入了,学习之
不过,不够完整——没有从political belief角度进行的展开,比如探讨一下political belief的成因,它是如何表现的,和appearance之间是不是有必然联系,会不会影响到appearance,等等。
感觉这些不应该被忽略。


In sum, in religious groups we can ascertain the spiritual belief underlying the way some one dresses, eats, speaks and makes friends just by the apparent exterior character. Nevertheless, in modern society it is not easy to identify what is hidden the appearance only by what clothes one dresses, what sort of friends one makes, how one speaks and what one eats.

嗯,其实就是一个political belief的问题。觉得这篇文没有抓住这个关键词组,你看呢?

[ Last edited by I want my life on 2005-12-27 at 16:14 ]

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板凳
发表于 2005-12-27 18:10:08 |只看该作者
------正文------
Belief, a form of spiritual conviction of individuals, plays an important role in directing the way by which people behave in society. In the sense, sometimes an ephemeral个人觉得这个词用得不很得当。不过自己也被用词的问题困扰 contact with somebody indeed can mirror what the one believes and insists on. However, in other cases not relevant to religion, exterior appearance such as clothes, friends, speaking and food is not of response to what they think, as discussed below. 仔细看看题目,是讲的宗教吗?感觉好像有点偏了

Admittedly, in certain cases, especially in religious groups, just by meeting somebody we can understand what the one thinks and advocates, because moral value can be embodied with specific words and behavior in general. Take a Buddhist for example. When we talk about something related to fame, social status, fortune and so forth with the one, what the one shows is merely indifferent and apathetic about them. Undoubtedly the attitude towards mundane pursuits just is the exterior indicator of inner simple desire of Buddhism. In the respect, the way that Buddhist speaks and acts actually mirrors one's belief behind it.例子好

Nonetheless, in modern society global village binds people together, and thus people tend to react in the same way. So in these communities it is difficult to identify various believes or doctrines of each person in different regions just by the way they react and behavior. For example, in modern society each employee in any corner of the world has to dress the same style of uniform for impression left to customers, to eat the similar fast food, to reply any questions customers consult with unified attitude as courtesy, and to make friends with common trait who can offer good advice or encourage 词性 which is beneficial to the one's cause and individual positive character. In fact the same standard on clothes, foods, attitude of speaking to customers, and friends of the one solely serves to promote the efficiency on work, to impress customers and to develop personal advantages on career and work in modern society where each person comply the same rule while the different individual characteristic is masked. Accordingly we can not simply know what type of clothing, foods and so on the one likes or dislikes, what difference is among verified ethic people. Since they maybe distaste such things above but have to behave like this way for the purpose of survival in modern competitive society. In short, No matter where you are, on matter what you embrace and resist, the appearance of people in modern communities mentioned above is not indicator of what they think, which group they belong to.本身很有道理,但是有点绝对化了——全世界的人都act alike?你说的主要应该是西方国家的现象吧。其它地区没有考虑到,还有从一个人的谈话中,交往中不能看出他的思想观点吗?并没有限定只对客户,特别从交往中,所谓“人以类聚”,不可能完全的相同吧。

In sum, in religious groups we can ascertain the spiritual belief underlying the way some one dresses, eats, speaks and makes friends just by the apparent exterior character. Nevertheless, in modern society it is not easy to identify what is hidden the appearance only by what clothes one dresses, what sort of friends one makes, how one speaks and what one eats.

只提及了宗教, 跟题目有偏离把?
句子和语言很不错的


[ Last edited by virginia730 on 2005-12-27 at 18:14 ]

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地板
发表于 2005-12-27 19:38:38 |只看该作者
------题目------
It is possible to identify a person's politics within a very short time of meeting him or her. Everything about people—their clothes, their friends, the way they talk, what they eat—reflects their political beliefs.

提纲:
宗教团体中人们的外表和行为反映信仰,但是现在社会则不是这样。
1、        宗教团体中人们外表和行为反映信仰:佛教徒淡薄名利,就是他们信仰的缘故;
2、        现在社会人们的行为和表现日渐相同,据此很难明确他们的想法:
全球的人们穿一样的工作服,吃着相似的快餐,同样的态度回答客户的问题,根据相同的原则交朋友,从这些很难看出他们真正喜欢什么,厌恶什么。

***由提纲想到的
1、宗教信仰和political beliefs 貌似不是一个概念
2、宗教团体和现在社会,你是依据什么标准划分的这两个方面?貌似你想通过比较不同质的实体,来得出一些结论,但这两个群体之间有交集。。。


------正文------
Belief, a form of spiritual conviction of individuals, plays an important role in directing the way by which people behave in society. In the sense, sometimes an ephemeral contact with somebody indeed can mirror what the one believes and insists on. However, in other cases not relevant to religion, exterior appearance such as clothes, friends, speaking and food is not of response to what they think, as discussed below. (题目明明说的是political beliefs,你竟然藐视原题!!托出去,斩了~~~ :lol:lol:lol)

Admittedly, in certain cases, especially in religious groups, just by meeting somebody we can understand what the one thinks and advocates,(这是你理解的political beliefs 么? 我认为还是先说明political beliefs的概念较好~~) because moral value ***what the one thinks and advocates, moral value 这些词本身的概念有很大的差别。。。建议要有辨析概念尤其是相近概念的意识。。。这种关键词是不能随便用的 can be embodied with specific words and behavior in general. Take a Buddhist for example. When we talk about something related to fame, social status, fortune and so forth with the one, what the one shows is merely indifferent and apathetic about them. Undoubtedly the attitude towards mundane pursuits just is the exterior indicator of inner simple desire of Buddhism. In the respect, the way that Buddhist speaks and acts actually mirrors one's belief behind it.

这个例子是个大问题!!!暂且不论political beliefs,假设你对这个词的理解是完全正确的(事实上,我质疑),这段的ts :moral value can be embodied with specific words and behavior in general. 你举例就是要说明这个说法的道理吧,分析一下为什么words and behaviors 能表现 moral value. 看看你写的哈:. When we talk about something related to fame, social status, fortune and so forth with the one, what the one shows is merely indifferent and apathetic about them. 此为描述现象; . Undoubtedly the attitude towards mundane pursuits just is the exterior indicator of inner simple desire of Buddhism. 这是一个观点。。凭什么这么说?有什么理由?是什么研究的结论?还是你主观臆断?In the respect(这个词组啥意思??不解ing~~), the way that Buddhist speaks and acts actually mirrors one's belief behind it又是一个观点,支持句呢??

Nonetheless, in modern society global village binds people together, and thus people tend to react in the same way. So in these communities it is difficult to identify various believes or doctrines of each person in different regions just by the way they react and behavior. For example, in modern society each employee in any corner of the world has to dress the same style of uniform for impression left to customers, to eat the similar fast food, to reply any questions customers consult with unified attitude as courtesy, and to make friends with common trait who can offer good advice or encourage which is beneficial to the one's cause and individual positive character. In fact the same standard on clothes, foods, attitude of speaking to customers, and friends of the one solely serves to promote the efficiency on work, to impress customers and to develop personal advantages on career and work in modern society where each person comply the same rule while the different individual characteristic is masked. Accordingly we can not simply know what type of clothing, foods and so on the one likes or dislikes, what difference is among verified ethic people. Since they maybe distaste such things above but have to behave like this way for the purpose of survival in modern competitive society. In short, No matter where you are, on matter what you embrace and resist, the appearance of people in modern communities mentioned above is not indicator of what they think, which group they belong to.(她们说的差不多了。。。)

In sum, in religious groups we can ascertain the spiritual belief underlying the way some one dresses, eats, speaks and makes friends just by the apparent exterior character. Nevertheless, in modern society it is not easy to identify what is hidden the appearance only by what clothes one dresses, what sort of friends one makes, how one speaks and what one eats.
love ipsy!!  家在天津,暂居上海。。。 地球游民~~

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发表于 2005-12-27 19:52:59 |只看该作者
题目明明说的是political beliefs,你竟然藐视原题!!托出去,斩了~~~ :lol:lol:lol

强烈同意,这个太帅了!
居然还用“托”的!!

[ Last edited by I want my life on 2005-12-27 at 19:59 ]

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发表于 2005-12-27 19:58:19 |只看该作者
Originally posted by I want my life at 2005-12-27 19:52
题目明明说的是political beliefs,你竟然藐视原题!!托出去,斩了~~~ :lol:lol:lol

这个帅!
居然还用“托”的!!


你!!!
love ipsy!!  家在天津,暂居上海。。。 地球游民~~

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发表于 2005-12-27 22:39:36 |只看该作者

嗯,知道自己错了.......

我的文确实有些跑题了,没有紧扣政治信仰来展开,或者给其下个定义,将其局限在我讨论的范围内。恩,谢谢大家仔细认真得修改!我准备重写!大家继续努力!

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发表于 2005-12-27 22:53:10 |只看该作者
Issue123  第15篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧!

------题目------
It is possible to identify a person's politics within a very short time of meeting him or her. Everything about people—their clothes, their friends, the way they talk, what they eat—reflects their political beliefs.

提纲:
宗教团体中人们的外表和行为反映信仰,但是现在社会则不是这样。
1、        宗教团体中人们外表和行为反映信仰:佛教徒淡薄名利,就是他们信仰的缘故;
2、        现在社会人们的行为和表现日渐相同,据此很难明确他们的想法:[这个地方不懂撒]
全球的人们穿一样的工作服,吃着相似的快餐,同样的态度回答客户的问题,根据相同的原则交朋友,从这些很难看出他们真正喜欢什么,厌恶什么。

------正文------
Belief, a form of spiritual conviction of individuals, plays an important role in directing the way by which people behave in society. In the sense, sometimes an ephemeral contact with somebody indeed can mirror what the one believes and insists on. However, in other cases not relevant to religion, exterior appearance such as clothes, friends, speaking and food is not of response to what they think, as discussed below. [老大的开头真是写的越来越棒了,唉,不知道还赶得上否?用词,层次都很好]

Admittedly, in certain cases, especially in religious groups, just by meeting somebody we can understand what the one thinks and advocates, because moral value can be embodied with specific words and behavior in general. Take a Buddhist for example. When we talk about something related to fame, social status, fortune and so forth with the one, what the one shows is merely indifferent and apathetic about them. Undoubtedly the attitude towards mundane pursuits just is the exterior indicator of inner simple desire of Buddhism. In the respect, the way that Buddhist speaks and acts actually mirrors one's belief behind it.[这段我有些迷惑,moral value和political belief是否可以等同撒?还有,举例似乎也有些模糊,我不太明白,宗教信仰和政治信仰是一样的吗?]

Nonetheless, in modern society global village binds people together, and thus people tend to react in the same way.[什么意思撒?说的没理由哦] So in these communities it is difficult to identify various believes or doctrines of each person in different regions just by the way they react and behavior. For example, in modern society each employee in any corner of the world has to dress the same style of uniform for impression left to customers, to eat the similar fast food, to reply any questions customers consult with unified attitude as courtesy, and to make friends with common trait who can offer good advice or encourage which is beneficial to the one's cause and individual positive character.[这个句子很充实的说] In fact the same standard on clothes, foods, attitude of speaking to customers, and friends of the one solely serves to promote the efficiency on work, to impress customers and to develop personal advantages on career and work in modern society where each person comply the same rule while the different individual characteristic is masked. Accordingly we can not simply know what type of clothing, foods and so on the one likes or dislikes, what difference is among verified ethic people. Since they maybe distaste such things above but have to behave like this way for the purpose of survival in modern competitive society. In short, No matter where you are, on matter what you embrace and resist, the appearance of people in modern communities mentioned above is not indicator of what they think, which group they belong to.[展开的很细致了,用的句子方面也注意了照应,但是在展开的同时要时刻记着围绕题目中心,似乎对此并没有足够重视哦]

In sum, in religious groups we can ascertain the spiritual belief underlying the way some one dresses, eats, speaks and makes friends just by the apparent exterior character. Nevertheless, in modern society it is not easy to identify what is hidden the appearance only by what clothes one dresses, what sort of friends one makes, how one speaks and what one eats.[感觉文章显得有些单薄,说服力有些欠缺]

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发表于 2005-12-27 23:10:32 |只看该作者
Originally posted by I want my life at 2005-12-27 19:52
题目明明说的是political beliefs,你竟然藐视原题!!托出去,斩了~~~ :lol:lol:lol

强烈同意,这个太帅了!
居然还用“托”的!!


^_^
呵呵。。。

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RE: Issue123 外在和内在,欢迎大家批评! [修改]
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