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[a习作temp] Argument38 [复制链接]

kele05 该用户已被删除
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发表于 2005-12-27 14:11:20 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
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发表于 2005-12-27 14:21:45 |只看该作者
同学,要看版上的发帖子格式啊

请自己动手改一下吧

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板凳
发表于 2005-12-28 02:46:31 |只看该作者
argument 38

ARGUMENT
38The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.
"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid, a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil, as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."

提纲:1):作者没有提供充足的证据表明感冒是导致旷课、旷工的主要原因;
2):在East Meria的研究并不能说明食用必需量的鱼能够避免或减少感冒次数;[指出的错误有点少,哈哈]

In this memo the arguer recommends everyday use of Ichthaid, a kind of nutritive contained in fish oil, can serve to control colds and lower absenteeism. To support this recommendation the arguer cites the following facts: (1) colds are the main reason contributed to absences from school and work; (2) a study in nearby East Meria shows that people seldom see the doctor for the treatment of colds because of eating a substantial amount of fish day-to-day. I find this argument unconvincing for following reasons.[我个人觉得这样用数字表示挺直观的,不错不错]

In the first place, the argument provides absolutely [这个词在这里是不是有点多余呢?]no enough evidence that colds are mainly responsible for absenting from work and staying away from school. In all likelihood, colds account for only some of the absenteeism in schools and workplaces. Students themselves may be are[去] lazy and nerveless, and they pay less attention to class; it is also possible because[beacause和possible重复了] school regulations are not severe and school committee are irresponsible for students that students absenteeism are high. If so, even the most nutritional supplement can contribute little. Similarly, workers[应该用所有格] absenteeism may be brought about by unsatisfied with their work conditions and income, at the same time corporate rules are ineffective and lax. Moreover, perhaps means of transportation[交通应该用condition of traffic吧,trasportation用于运送货物吧?] are poor in West Meria that it takes the students and workers long time to arrive on time. Without ruling out these possibilities the author cannot convincingly conclude that colds are the most frequency factor deduced higher absenteeism. [标准的排除他因法,恩,我也一定要用好]

In the second place, the study in nearby East Meria cannot indicate eating a substantial amount of fish everyday serves to avoid or reduce colds. In nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, the less and less times people visiting the doctor for the treatment of colds per year may be aroused by other factors. Firstly, a sound body is the result of interaction of a variety of nutriments. Either the excess or lack of a certain nutritional element is harmful to the health. It is beyond science that solely eating a substantial amount of fish day-to-day can keep fit. Secondly, maybe people who are in East Meria pay more attention to take exercise, so they seldom catch colds. Finally, it is entirely possible that people who stay in East Meria live[lead?] a better life, such as have a higher per capita[好词,收了!] income, so they can buy kinds of nutriments to improve their health.[还说营养品就有些重复了,可以说有钱可以买到更加健康的食品啊,比如说蔬菜,水果之类的,国外那些东西是健康食品啊,挺贵的] In short, since the argument relies on very limited study information I cannot take the author’s recommendation seriously.

In conclusion, the recommendation for the daily use of Ichthaid is not well supported. To convince me that eating Ichthaid would control colds and then reduce absenteeism, the author must provide clear evidence that colds are truly the most frequency reason of absenting from work and staying away from school. The author must also supply direct evidence that eating a substantial amount of fish everyday serves to avoid or reduce colds.
环行地球,拯救爱情

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