1月7日，1T作文第七期同主题写作

geishaUID: 2107956

原帖由 chuqi90 于 2006-1-7 20:18 发表

When checking the track in the rearview mirror（为什么要用后视镜呢？）, it is not hard to find out that a good colleague mostly affect your work directly. As a student who will work in the future, learning to select an appropriate co-worker is fairly（fairly 感觉用的不是那么舒服） important. If it is up to me, I will choose a partner who will have the following characteristics.

Firstly, it is universally acknowledged that a good co-worker should possess a diligent trait because a good motivation of work of you is closely dependant（这个词用错了哦~） on the environment around you. Try to imagine how terrible it is when there is a person accompanied you who always tells you about the weekend plan as well as grumbles to the boss frequently. Tempting as such things like that, they will weaken your ambitions. Contrarily, those who work hard will lead to a stimulation of your work.

Secondly, what is also worth noticing is, what many people pursue, the zeal of your colleague. For instance, although a college student, I deeply remember the one who give me（gave me） a hand in my trouble when I was puzzled by a problem. And I reserve these memories as the sweet honey （这个用的有点儿过了……）in my “memory pot”. Similarly, in my work I do not endure to be ignored. The friendship will be improved and the problems will be easily handled by means of the help with each other.

Last but not least（感觉这里用的很别扭……但是我自己改不出来）, the communication is also the vital characteristics that should be listed. No one can bear the dull and boring atmosphere in the office, especially has a co-worker without any words. Mostly believable（没有主语） is that the achievement is closely relative to the cooperation, and the cooperation benefits from the communication. Only when you two have shared the perspective ideas can （make）you know the other well. Consequently, despite diligent, the co-worker also know how to communicating.

Because of the reason listed above, it is not difficult for me to summarize all that diligence, zeal and communication is the most important trait a co-worker should have.


很多连词用的好熟练（admire，我对于这部分非常差），但是有的词过于造作，就有些过了哦。
我在8楼，欢迎来拍~~

[ 本帖最后由 geisha 于 2006-1-8 09:03 编辑 ]

雷鼠UID: 2159778

恩这篇文章是我写的，
关于fairly我总觉得每次我用都会出错，但是我觉得它比very 要好，可是怎么用好呢      considerable可以吗？
关于When checking the track in the rearview mirror 是一个词组，我学英语精读的时候看到觉得很有味道 所以就用了，应该没错了吧

礼尚往来，我来拍一下你的作文吧
We, humans, are social animals that mean we(mean we可有可无)  can not live all by ourselves (,) so in our social life we may meet a lot of people who have different type of characteristics, habits, and opinion in all kinds of things. (这句话本身没有什么错，但是句子过长给人一种感觉读得很累) I think I cannot get along with every person; it(It) has to be a "rule" in my favor of I-want-to-work-closely.(不知道这样用可不可以 要是我的话干脆It has to be a “rule ” in the one I am eager to work with)

The important thing is（+ the）honesty. To be frank with everything, do not lie or explain his or her fault with any untrue reason.（这句怎么读了那么怪） I'd like to take honesty first because it brings trust. If I work with someone who I do not trust or (+ even) sometimes I have a little bit doubt on him or her, it will have（bring） series of troubles. That may lag our must-done work, and brings me a so huge(so huge an) anxious unsafe mood that I can not（cannot）do my best as usual. And also, someone who does not trust me will also hold their do-not-trust (doubtful) feeling in their work; they may not ask me to help whether (when) the trouble is a piece of cake to me but to them, a terrible obstacle or even worse. So being honest to each other is the key of being a (an) excellent team.

I take allowance second because it brings peaceful and unhindered cooperation. Sometimes it has a huge gap between me and my partner(my partner and me  第一人称通常放后面). It has to be some different opinion in two people's mind. (There are different opinions in two people’s mind) But because of our honesty, (+ and) because of our trust, we will take allowance to each other, (and) we can take our words slowly and explain our opinion reasonably and that may help us to understand each opinion well. (还是太长，反而觉得层次不清晰)It is very useful that makes me working with someone happily and successfully.

I name two characteristics of a co-worker who I want to work with（co-worker和who I want to work with 重复了）, and I know I have to take those characteristics in my usual study life, in the future, my long rich and colorful work life.


关于你的文章，首先我想说的是，很佩服你的造词能力，我在考试中常常因为想不出词感到十分焦虑，你的方法把简单的词组拼成一个你想要的意思，不失是一种好方法，括号里的词只是建议用词，你的用法没有问题
你的语法也不错，我一般写文章都会犯 is do 这样的低级错误，很扣分的，这点应该保持
美中不足的是，看得出你喜欢用长句子，我第一次写的时候也非常喜欢用，结果顾此失彼的地方特别多，如语法，单复数等等。我们老师语重心长的跟我说：凡是长句子，能拆开写的尽量拆开写，因为一篇作文中首先要保证句子不出错，再简单的句子不出错，基础分数就有了，然后把你认为有把握写的好的难句写上一两句，就能相应加分。而如果整篇文章都用从句套从句，一出错就会扣 扣得多就很郁闷了。
-----------------------
这段话写给小羊BZ： 我的作文在第一页，请给予指教

[ 本帖最后由 雷鼠 于 2006-1-8 19:25 编辑 ]

狂想UID: 2172697

In twentieth century,the economic globalization is an extraordinarily important fact which determines the gaint corporation flourish or not. Thereby we all work or will work in our jobs with many different kinds of people,some of them may  come from different countries and different cultures.What some basic characteristics of a co-worker are is a controversial question in recent years.Obtained from my work experiences,team work,technical expertise and great skills of communication are most fundamental.In the following discussion,I would like to illustrate and provide evidence to support my viewpoint.

The foremost and most important character which will help a group reach their goal is team work.Nowadays, in almost every productive process,which always features with a lot of different stages,if we can not cooperate with everyone in our work group the goal will never be achieved.Advanced by the new technology and science,the philosophy of production is far beyond we experiented in the nineteenth century,especially in the global corporation.Although the new progress facilitate our lives, it really convert the production into a very complex thing.Thus we need a special group to design the new product,a work group to produce all the parts we need,and a group to sell the new product.So we can see how important the team work is.

The technical expertise,which is required to suit their job,is another basic factor for workers.For instance,if an employee in my work group has no knowledges or work experiences required by the production,we can not attain any contribute from him.To catch up with the rapid growth of the industry,we must keep study almost every minute and the knowledge and work experience are crucial problems for us.

The last reason I would put here is great skills of communication with other people.In mass corporation,you may be work in your jobs with people who come form different countries and different cultures.Can you express your points or requirements or anything else well?Your co-workers may have a opposite future background with you,or may have a very strange accent.How do you deal with this fact?To solve this problems,we need to know every co-worker’s characteristic and treat them different.In an other word,we must further our skills of communication.Without communication,our group is not an integer.

To sum up the reason discussed above,which sometimes form a organic whole,we can easily reach a conclusion that work,technical expertise and great skills of communication are most essential attributes for a good co-worker.

[ 本帖最后由 狂想 于 2006-1-8 19:35 编辑 ]

bamboo2142003UID: 2135987

再发一篇吧，快考试了^-^大家一起加油！！

（30min,358words)
With the development of society ,people are more and more emphasizing the importance of teamwork ,which means to work with many different kinds of people .There is no doubt that to be a good co-worker requires a wealth of characteristics ,even different people have different opinions about these required characteristics .However ,as for me , I consider there are some important ones of a co-worker ,of which the consciousness of cooperation ,respecting others and the responsibility of hardworking are the most important ones .
  To be a co-worker needs to have the consciousness of cooperation .People working in a team ,together with many other people ,need to cooperate with others .A person who always consider himself the best one and do not listen to others will pull the leg of the whole team .In a team ,it is very important for people to work in the same direction and pace ,or it is hard to overcome frustrations and achieve the jobs .So it is important for a co-worker to have the consciousness of cooperation .
  Just to have the consciousness of cooperation is not enough for a co-worker ,he/she still has to have some other characteristics .
  Respecting others in the team is also crucial .People have to get well with others in order to have a pleasing feelings to work together .If you want to get well with others ,first thing you should do is to respect others ,which means not to intrude their privacy and share other people’s privacy .What’s more ,people have to respect other people ‘s habits and customs ,not laughing at others .On no account can people ignore the importance of respecting others in a team .
  In addition , people should have the responsibility of working hard as well .Only does every co-worker work hard ,the whole team will achieve the aim fast .If everyone think others will work hard and get lazy ,the whole team will do nothing .
  In conclusion ,there are many important characteristics for a co-worker ,however ,I reinforce my standpoint to the three ones :the consciousness of cooperation ,respecting others and the responsibility of working hard .

bamboo2142003UID: 2135987

改7楼的：

Since it is  impossible to  achieve a complex project by oneself .The（小写，标点） cooperation has become  an essential and indispensable part of our lives .The time we spend with the co-works may be more than those with our family. So there is nothing more bothersome  than working with a bad co-worker. Faced the definition of a good co-worker, through my own experiences ,I find a good co-worker has the following characteristics in common .

First of all , a good co-worker is tolerant . Holding the mind that everyone will unavoidably makes mistakes sometimes , a good co-worker is always tolerant to others’ fault . Faced the mess caused by a new worker without experience , a good co-worker would be patient to explain to him how to avoid the same problem next time and comfort him to release him form （from?)the disappointment rather than get angry and blame him . The one who is tolerant to others is always welcome by others .
Another characteristic of a good co-worker is being helpful. During working , every one will confront some puzzles sometimes , at this time a good co-worker will put down his(his/her) own work to help you figure out the problem . On the other hand , those who only take care about their own tasks without the willing to help others can definitely(definite) not be a good co-worker .

Besides the two characteristics mentioned above , I also believe a good co-worker is an optimist . As the psychologists discovered , one person’s mood can influence  others’ attitude  who work with him . Hearing the complains all day long , how we can concentrate on our work and make good efficiency. While, encouraged by an optimist , we will do our work with(with去掉） full of energy . So a good co-worker is the optimist whose loving of job can influence others and ignite their inspirations .（应该是被ignite吧）
It is （习惯用there is no doubt)no doubt that nobody enjoys working with a co-worker who is too strict , selfish , and pessimistic . So why not try to be a good co-worker from being tolerant , helpful , as well as optimistic .

呵呵，感觉写的很好，看了你的就觉得我的用词和句式太贫乏了啊^-^
记得听王令讲作文的时候，他说不要用first of all ,secondly ，之类的，不过感觉你这么写也挺好的^-^仅供参考，也可以换一下的说。
结尾匆促了点。感觉第三个理由段比第二个充分，建议换一下位置。
呵呵，我的在上一楼^-^

geishaUID: 2107956

原帖由 雷鼠 于 2006-1-8 10:14 发表
恩这篇文章是我写的， 我等会来拍你

关于fairly我总觉得每次我用都会出错，但是我觉得它比very 要好，可是怎么用好呢      considerable可以吗？
关于When checking the track in the rearview mirror 是一个 ...

恩，能把这句的用法和出处告诉我么？我没听说，所以光靠自己的理解觉得不知道用的地方对不对~~~
有些谚语什么的我觉得非母语运用者往往会画蛇添足~~

jackloveUID: 183611

30min 完成了2个理由段和结尾  第三个是下来又补的
389个words

In our society, some kinds of jobs may involve in fewer people, like a laboratory scientist but for most of us, it is inevitable to keep touch with characteristic are honesty, team spirit, and humor.

In the first place, a co-worker must be honest person rather than dishonest one. In our jobs, based on the fact and data, we will accomplish tasks well, which can ask for honest workers. A honest worker can readily get trust from companions. If you are a leader, honest characteristic can make your company get more profits because your clients are willing to trust you and cooperate with you. In contrast, companions around you know you are a dishonest person, no one want to cooperate with you. And you will not do well in your job.

In the second place, co-workers with team spirit can readily cooperate with others colleagues and put the need of job on the first place rather than self-profits. The key factor is that tasks always involve in many aspects and tend to be a systematic job. It is difficult for one to do, and thus tasks are always divided into some parts with which are closely associated. For example, a program of a 3D game is a complex and big project. In the modern process, it will be divided into several parts to finish. It is necessary that every worker must consider whether his or her program can match others’ one. After every part is finished, these are connected and form a whole program company want. Otherwise, if every part is independent, it is a meaningless job.

Finally, co-workers with humor may convert a tedious job into an interesting one. At many times, a task tend to be a tedious one which may frustrate all team workers. Yet a humor co-worker can make jokes to adjust our negative feelings, making our feel relax and happy in the process. Obviously, it can help finish a good job. Moreover, all workers like to cooperate with a humor one.

In conclusion, co-workers usually need team spirit to cooperate with other workers to help them finish a good job and must be honest, which is basis characteristic for a job, like building dependents on solid bedrock. Thus, if co-workers are honest, have team spirit, and are humor, I believe they are good co-workers.

jackloveUID: 183611

再发一篇吧，快考试了^-^大家一起加油！！ ^7O.b \%B
l(n9I1e

f A B1F g%j@1t
（30min,358words)
With the development of society ,people are more and more emphasizing the importance of teamwork ,which means to work with many different kinds of people .There is no doubt that to be a good co-worker requires a wealth of characteristics ,even different people have different opinions about these required characteristics .However ,as for me , I consider there are some important ones of a co-worker ,of which the consciousness of cooperation ,respecting others and the responsibility of hardworking are the most important ones .
你的字数肯定是没问题了，所以这段有点啰嗦！

To be a co-worker needs to have the consciousness of cooperation .People working in a team ,together with many other people ,need to cooperate with others .A person who always considers himself the best one and does not listen to others will pulls the leg of the whole team .In a team ,it is very important for people to work in the same direction and pace ,or it is hard to overcome frustrations and achieve the jobs .So it is important for a co-worker to have the consciousness of cooperation .
so比较口语化的用法，该成thus 或therefore
Just to have the consciousness of cooperation is not enough for a co-worker ,he/she still has to have some other characteristics .
似乎不对just to，我没见过，

Respecting others in the team is also crucial .People have to get well with others in order to have a pleasing feelings to work together .If you want to get well with others ,first thing you should do is to respect others ,which means not to intrude their privacy and share other people’s privacy .What’s more ,people have to respect other people ‘s habits and customs ,not laughing at others .On no account can people ignore the importance of respecting others in a team .
In addition , people should have the responsibility of working hard as well .Only does every co-worker work hard ,the whole team will achieve the aim fast .If everyone think others will work hard and get lazy ,the whole team will do nothing .

In conclusion ,there are many important characteristics for a co-worker ,however ,I reinforce my standpoint to the three ones :the consciousness of cooperation ,respecting others and the responsibility of working hard .

文章写的很好，流畅  +U+U
我可要加油了，555  写不完啊

雷鼠UID: 2159778

原帖由 geisha 于 2006-1-8 12:18 发表



恩，能把这句的用法和出处告诉我么？我没听说，所以光靠自己的理解觉得不知道用的地方对不对~~~
有些谚语什么的我觉得非母语运用者往往会画蛇添足~~

我们老师说这样用很好的。出处忘了：）

逆风飞羊UID: 182440

总的来说感觉还是不错的 但是现在的当务之急是时间。一定要在规定时间内写完。如果写不完，一切都是无意义的。
各段开头要整齐，In the first place不该和Secondly对应。

逆风飞羊UID: 182440

开头有些话没必要：The time we spend with the co-works may be more than those with our family. So there is nothing more bothersome  than working with a bad co-worker.另外你应该把你觉得什么样的特征都在开头就列出来。
你的B2 说helpful。helpful是有用的；有帮助的；有益的意思。金山词霸给的例句是：
The helpful boy carried my bags for me.
这个挺顶用的男孩帮我搬运提包。
乐于助人的是accommodating。

逆风飞羊UID: 182440

应该把你觉得什么样的特征都在开头就列出来。
B2 Furthermore, wiliness of communication is not enough. A good co-worker should have the ability to communication.这是什么意思？
结尾为什么提到后两个TS而没提第一个呢？

huangtingtingUID: 2162352

改 21楼 bamboo 的大作

With the development of society ,people are more and more emphasizing the importance of teamwork ,which means to work with many different kinds of people . （team work 是一个很简单的定义没有必要在解释）There is no doubt that to be a good co-worker requires a wealth of characteristics , （a wealth of characteristics 这个说法怎么怪怪的）even （even though ） different people have different opinions about these required characteristics .However , （even though 好像不可以和 however 连用）as for me , I consider there are some important ones of a co-worker ,of which the consciousness of cooperation ,respecting others （平列词性的一致 ， respect ） and the responsibility of hardworking are the most important ones .

  To be a co-worker needs to have the consciousness of cooperation .People working in a team ,together with many other people ,need to cooperate with others  . A person who always consider himself the best one and do not listen to others will pull the leg of the whole team . ( 拖后腿吗  没懂 可以用drag 呀 ) In a team ,it is very important for people to work in the same direction and pace ,or （otherwise） it is hard to overcome frustrations and achieve the jobs .So it is important for a co-worker to have the consciousness of cooperation .

  Just to have the consciousness of cooperation is not enough for a co-worker ,he/she still has to have some other characteristics .（可以直接引出  Respecting 了呀） Respecting others in the team is also crucial .People have to get well with others in order to have a pleasing feelings to work together .If you want to get well with others ,first thing you should do is to respect others ,which means not to intrude their privacy and share other people’s privacy .What’s more ,people have to respect other people ‘s habits and customs ,not laughing at others .On no account can people ignore the importance of respecting others in a team . （给出的论据不够充分呀）

  In addition , people should have the responsibility of working hard （这个hard 在这里做什么用呢）as well .Only does every co-worker work hard ,the whole team will achieve the aim fast .If everyone think others will work hard and get lazy ,the whole team will do nothing .-K;M1f&u:]"` e1Y0j

  In conclusion ,there are many important characteristics for a co-worker ,however ,I reinforce my standpoint to the three ones :the consciousness of cooperation ,respecting others and the responsi


你的文章层次还是很清楚的，但是感觉像是一个很好的架子里面填充的论据不够充分，其次是要注意一下用词哦！！ :victory:

AdiUID: 2114222

第一次参加同期作文,我知道写的差,但还是请大家赐教哈
270词,但是......用了45M,我该怎么办哦

Living on the world, all of us will work. We will meet many kinds of different people to be our co-wokers.Accoriding to me,I believe co-works should work hard,be qualified to tasks and think more about others.

The most important characteristic co-workers should have is a hard working.Although being a student , I still know from others how critical hard working is.Without hard working, it is difficult for us to be promoted. Moreover, all of the bosses and other members of companies have hated the lazy people.If you want to be loved by others ,you should try your best to work hard.

There is another important characteristic, that is , being qualified to tasks.Nowadays, we live in a world which is full of compitition.If we are not qualified , not only bosses are likely to fire us , but also others would not want to work with us. We should learn as much as we can,so that we can be qualified to most tasks and do not become outdated..

What is more, co-workers should think more about others.Just imagine that in a company, most people there are selfish and never think of others. Does any one want to work in such a company or with such people?Of course not.Being selfish would prevent co-workers from developing a good relationship and may give bad influence on companies.

From what has been discussed above, we can safely draw a conclusion.Not only should co-workers work hard , but they should also be qualified to tasks and think more about others. Such co-workers are what we badly need.

逆风飞羊UID: 182440

楼上的，要抓紧啦，时间是很大的问题