1月7日，1T作文第七期同主题写作

pancherUID: 193090

占

WeOnUID: 2110447

改31楼！
Living on(in) the world, all of us will work. We will meet many kinds of different people(who will be，你to be 感觉有些不顺) to be our co-wokers.Accoriding to me,I believe co-works(co-workers) should work hard,be qualified to tasks and think more about others.

The most important characteristic co-workers should have is a(去掉) hard working.Although being a student , I still know from others how critical hard working is.Without hard working, it is difficult for us to be promoted. Moreover, all of the bosses and other members of companies have hated the lazy people.If you want to be loved by others ,you should try your best to work hard.

There is another important characteristic, that is , being qualified to tasks.Nowadays, we live in a world which is full of compitition.If we are not qualified , not only bosses are likely to fire us , but also others would not want to work with us. We should learn as much as we can,so that we can be qualified to most tasks and do not become outdated..

What is more, co-workers should think more about others.Just imagine that in a company, most people there are selfish and never think of others. Does any one want to work in such a company or with such people?Of course not.Being selfish would prevent co-workers from developing a good relationship and may give bad influence on companies.

From what has been discussed above, we can safely draw a conclusion.Not only should co-workers work hard , but they should also be qualified to tasks and think more about others. Such co-workers are what we badly need.
楼主语言还是很好的，可是感觉有些跑题了。
题目是要你写：what are some important characteristics of a co-worker (someone you work closely with) not you.
可是你写的给我感觉是我要怎么样。
呵呵，一些小的意见，共同交流一下哈

[ 本帖最后由 WeOn 于 2006-1-9 18:26 编辑 ]

WeOnUID: 2110447

30min, 319w.  这次倒是留了2min用来检查，可是发现不知道应该查些什么... 准备读一遍的，可是时间又不够，不知道谁能告诉我如何快速检查啊？
In our jobs, we will work with many different kinds of people: someone is intelligent, someone is honest and someone may make us feel awful. As far as I am concerned, I would like to work with a person who is intelligent, reliable and has a sense of humor.

An intelligent co-worker will make the difficulty easily solved. In our work, we will face a variety of difficulties that are hard to be solved. We will need an intelligent worker who always can light up out minds and make a sound decision. And this will save much time and money, which can make our group always on the top.

Also, a co-worker who is reliable is what we need. As we know, we are a group and we need to cooperate with each other to achieve a goal. When faced with problems, we will rely on each other. Hence, a co-worker who is reliable is just the one worth depending on and believing in.

Last but not least, the important characteristic of a co-worker is a sense of humor, which can be a pacifier and stimulus in our jobs. Sometimes we will have different ideas about the same problem. And neither of us will back off. At the edge of quarrelling or even fighting, a sense of humor of him can pacify this tense atmosphere and make us calm down to think of the problem carefully. Sometimes when we face a very big problem that is too hard to settle, his/her sense of humor can give us new energy and stimulate us to overcome it.

In a word, in our jobs, we will face with various difficulties and work with many different kinds of people. To solve these difficulties and always make our team on the top, a co-worker who is intelligent, reliable and has a sense of humor is just the one I would like to work with.

westcowerUID: 2123051

Composition 7:

When it come to what is more important characteristic of co-workers, the responds will be a lot due to personal experience, personal trait and emotional concern. Whereas, looking over the history, from civilized origin to nowadays, from cave dwelling person to modern citizenry, from Tibet to New York, we can find the study is always a heated topic we focus. When we discuss what is important characteristic of a co-workers, I support there is no attitudes more significant than a person’s study attitude. Among countless factors for my standpoint there are two conspicuous aspects as follow:

The major issue for my penchant is that continuing study is the only way for a person to adapt to our social development. As a saying put it: knowledge is power. When we exert to construct our motherland, what we are ought to do is pay more attention to study knowledge. We can make an assumption that a colleague graduated form the college at 1970s would have little about the internet and the computer, he/she has to study about them so as for the efficient work, or it is not a advisable to ask other co-workers frequently.

Another reason can be seen by everyone is that if we pay more attention to study each other between colleagues; we will shape a friendly relation. When we maintain the positive study attitude, many merits of everyone will be found, and we will be being regarded as friends, which will increase acquaintance each other.

I therefore reinforce my opinion that the study is the most important characteristic of co-workers. And I a student, who will graduate, will do more study and help my challenges to study.



审题的角度与大家不一样,我们一起讨论一下

amethyst111UID: 2147702

We will work in our jobs with many different kinds of people after graduation. A good partner will do an important role in the accomplishment of our jobs. What are some significant characteristics of a co-worker? As far as I am concerned, there are several qualities he/she should possess as follows.

First and the most important, the individual we worked with should have group spirits, which would largely affect the development and enforcement of a job or an engineering. A person without group spirits usually keep his/her own way. When facing with problems, they often do not communicate with each other; when other people get trouble in questions, they are not willing to give their hands. This eventually leads to the failure of work.

At the same time, a co-worker should have some kinds of basic knowledge and abilities of solving problems in our working field. Probably nobody wants to cooperate with ignorant people or an idiot. Once a time when I work with my classmates in transport engineering, I fell so shamed that some ideas of transportation can not occur to me.

In addition, a cooperator should have open characteristics and be easy-going. It is much easier for us to communicate with a humor and generous person. Furthermore, when we work with a friendly person, the atmosphere becomes more compatible, which would enhance our work efficiency.

In conclusion, in my opinion, a co-worker should have group spirits, some kinds of basic knowledge and abilities of solving problems in our working field and also should be easy-going. Working with people like that, we will find more interests in our jobs and then do much better.

逆风飞羊UID: 182440

你的Ｂ１中someone who does not trust me 不应该算在不honesty的范围内吧？应该分成两个段落比较好．
另外你的Ｂ２中既然不是和Ｂ１递进的关系，那就不要在段落中间插入Ｂ１中的观点，会让人感觉混乱不清晰．

amethyst111UID: 2147702

geishaUID: 2107956

原帖由 逆风飞羊 于 2006-1-9 17:09 发表
你的Ｂ１中someone who does not trust me 不应该算在不honesty的范围内吧？应该分成两个段落比较好．
另外你的Ｂ２中既然不是和Ｂ１递进的关系，那就不要在段落中间插入Ｂ１中的观点，会让人感觉混乱不清晰．

第一次写twe……所以不知道怎么把握文章的脉络……555

amethyst111UID: 2147702

In twentieth century,the economic globalization is an extraordinarily important fact which determines the gaint corporation flourish or not. Thereby we all work or will work in our jobs with many different kinds of people,some of them may  come from different countries and different cultures.What some basic characteristics of a co-worker are is a controversial question in recent years.Obtained from my work experiences,team work,technical expertise and great skills of communication are most fundamental.In the following discussion,I would like to illustrate and provide evidence to support my viewpoint.

The foremost and most important character which will help a group reach their goal is team work.Nowadays, in almost every productive process,which always features with a lot of different stages,if we can not cooperate with everyone（anyone） in our work group the goal will never be achieved.Advanced by the new technology and science,the philosophy of production is far beyond we experiented in the nineteenth century,especially in the global corporation.Although the new progress facilitate our lives, it really convert the production into a very complex thing.Thus we need a special group to design the new product,a work group to produce all the parts we need,and a group to sell the new product.So we can see how important the team work is

The technical expertise,which is required to suit their job,is another basic factor for workers.For instance,if an employee in my work group has no knowledges(去掉s) or work experiences required by the production,we can not attain any contribute from him.To catch up with the rapid growth of the industry,we must keep study almost every minute and the knowledge and work experience are crucial problems for us

The last reason I would put here is great skills of communication with other people.In mass corporation,you may be(maybe) work in your jobs with people who come form different countries and different cultures.Can you express your points or requirements or anything else well?Your co-workers may have a opposite future background with you,or may have a very strange accent.How do you deal with this fact?To solve this problems,we need to know every co-worker’s characteristic and treat them different.In an other(another) word,we must further our skills of communication.Without communication,our group is not an integer.

To sum up the reason(s) discussed above,which sometimes form a(an) organic whole,we can easily reach a conclusion that work,technical expertise and great skills of communication are most essential attributes for a good co-worker.

看作者文章的第一段就让我吃了一惊，我们写的三个品质居然连顺序都是一样的！但同时让我感到羞愧的是，我们用了同样的时间，却字数相差那么多，更重要的区别，是作者有话说，而我好像总是象挤牙膏一样的感觉。
全文结构清晰，行文流畅，句式多变，尽管有个别细节词语上的错误，也无法掩盖这篇好文章。

学习！
偶的：https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... page%3D1&page=4

weier_2UID: 2157107

In our jobs, it is important for us to work with others. As we all konw, a job will not be done well if it only depends on a single man or woman. How do we work with each other so that we do well in our jobs? In my opinion, there two points that is helpful for us to be a good co-worker.
First, there should be understanding between us. No one is a perfect man, and thus he or she maybe do a little wrong sometimes. If we laugh at his orher action or be hostile to him or her, it is not helpful for us to modify the wrong. In the orther hand, our action only does a bad effect on our jobs. Thus we must learn to understand with each oher. Facing to the man or woman who do something wrong, we should forgive his or her action. People always modify their wrong qucikly if they find there being understanding around them, and also we could work with them so well that our jobs will be given a high mark.
Second we must trust each other. As a co-worker, it is a bad thing if he or she couldn't get others'  acceptence. We can not get correct informations from others if we could not be trusted. Under this conditions, our friendly words or actions maybe get  contrasted responces, just because there is no trsutness. In contrats, we would get well along with our jobs if we be trusted by others, and feel happy for others' friendnesses. Thus we could do better with our jobs if we all become trusted co-workers.
Tom is a researcher in a labortary. Once a time, he didn't understand and trust others. One day Jimmy who is a co-worker with him in the labortay found something wrong with Tom's paper. So Jimmy advised Tom to do an experiments again and examin the datas in Tom's paper. For Tom suspected Jimmy's advices, Tom thought that Jimmy was hostile to him and what Jimmy said was just nonsense. In fact Jimmy's advices were right. Later, Tom found that there was no way for him to continue his research, because he got wrong information Jimmy had found at first. So Tom regreted that he misunderstood Jimmy, and also thought he should trust Jimmy in the beginning. Just for Tom's actions, he did lots of work that was nothing helpful for his research.
From all the above, it is important for us to understand and trust each other as a co-worker.

逆风飞羊UID: 182440

在考场上想出很多理由的最好的方法就是在之前的复习中认真钻研题库。

你开头这一句确实比较奇怪。这句话不错，可是要看谁的 rearview mirror呢？第二句as a student 的主语是learning to select an appropriate co-worker吗？
B1中的a person accompanied you who always tells you about the weekend plan as well as grumbles to the boss frequently并不能很典型的作为一个不diligent的反例。
B2热心和do not endure to be ignored是不一样的事情。而且 my work I do not endure to be ignored. The friendship will be improved 这两句话没什么衔接。这个友谊有有什么关系了？

逆风飞羊UID: 182440

P1 To be(Being) a co-worker needs to have the consciousness of cooperation

Just to have the consciousness of cooperation is not enough for a co-worker ,he/she still has to have some other characteristics .时间紧的情况下这种无意义的过度段只会浪费时间.

P4 ( THE)first thing you should do is 删(to respect others ,which means) not to intrude their privacy and share other people’s privacy .

逆风飞羊UID: 182440

开头就让人读不懂. 首先fewer,没有比较,哪来的比较级? but前该有句号了.另外,科学家就一个人工作了?就不需要honesty, team spirit, and humor了?这个开头很不成功.

B1里那么多you you的用的让人很不舒服,你自己再读读看. 你的解释也并没有说明In our jobs, based on the fact and data, we will accomplish tasks well, which can ask for honest workers. 你说基于fact and data,可是你既没说fact也没说data.
B2的例子举的挺好的,可以很好地谈合作.但是和你的TS:put the need of job on the first place rather than self-profits没有关系啊 这里没有说need of job也没self-profits可言.

AdiUID: 2114222

TO WEON
谢谢#34的修改,真的是有点跑题哈,我下次会注意
你的在哪一楼?等会我去看

WeOnUID: 2110447

原帖由 Adi 于 2006-1-10 09:09 发表
TO WEON
谢谢#34的修改,真的是有点跑题哈,我下次会注意
你的在哪一楼?等会我去看

我的在35楼，呵呵