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Argument216 第十九篇,第一次限时成功,欢迎拍~
题目
Argument216 The following appeared in a magazine article about planning for retirement.
"Because of its spectacular natural beauty and consistent climate, Clearview should be a top choice for anyone seeking a place to retire. As a bonus, housing costs in Clearview have fallen significantly during the past year, and real estate taxes remain lower than those in neighboring towns. Nevertheless, Clearview's mayor promises many new programs to improve schools, streets, and public services. Retirees in Clearview can also expect excellent health care as they grow older, since the number of physicians in the area is far greater than the national average."
翻译:
由于Clearview的天然景色和温和气候,它应该成为那些为退休后寻找生活地的人的首选。其中一项好处是,Clearview的房价在去年显著下降,房地产税一直比邻近城市低。而且,Clearview的市长承诺了很多新方案来改善学校、街道和公共服务。Clearview的退休人员也可以在老年时享受到出色的医疗服务,因为该地区的医生数量高于全国平均水平。
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提纲
(1)房价降低不表明实际房价低,而且没给出房价显著下降的原因,有可能是环境遭受污染突然变差导致的呢;房地产税比临镇低,可能比其它地方高;无证据表明以后房价和税不会涨。
(2)市长承诺的不一定能实现;即使实现,对退休老人的实际帮助有多大。
(3)医生数量多不保证医疗水平高,未谈医疗器械如何;而且数量只高于全国平均值,其它地方医生数量可能更多。
提纲很棒!
正文
In this argument, the arguer suggests anyone to choose Clearview first as a retirement place as the first retirement place because of the beautiful scenes and consistent climate. In addition, he cites much evidence to support his suggestion. Unfortunately, after careful examination, we can find that his evidence is not strong enough to give support for to his suggestion.开头比较模板化哟?
First of all, the arguer cites the fact that housing costs in Clearview have decreased significantly during last year, however, we do not know how about the housing costs this year. It is totally possible that the costs has grown dramatically this year and even exceed the extent of last year. Another possibility is that although the costs have fallen, the price is still very high for common people retirees to afford. Moreover, even if the costs are still very low, the arguer does not show indicate why the costs have fallen. Maybe there were increasing environment pollutions in Clearview last year, thus Clearview is not suit suitable for old people to dwell (看你的older people怎么定义了,retirees一定是older people 吗?. What is more, the arguer says that real estate taxes in Clearview remain lower than those in neighboring towns; nevertheless, it cannot be convincing evidence. It is very likely that real estate taxes in neighboring towns are extremely high, thus even if that of Clearview is relatively low, it is still very expensive than the nonneighboring areas.这段论证的很全面,只是结尾的时候没有具体指出即使房产税比邻近地区低,但是可能比非邻近地区高很多,其实你应该是想表达这个意思的
Secondly, although the mayor of Clearview promises many new programs to improve schools, streets, and public services, we do not know when will the promise be put into reality practice and how about the quality of new public services. In addition, those services have little relation with retirees because they seldom use those public services. Thus, this fact still cannot be reasonable evidence.这段的批驳跟我想的一样,看来只有这样批了
Last but not the least, the arguer fails to establish the causality between excellent health care and the number of physicians. On the one hand, the large number of physicians cannot represent the high medical level. It is possible that although there are many physicians, but去掉 few of them have excellent medical technology. On the other hand, to ensure retirees accept obtain excellent health care, only a great deal of physicians is not enough, advanced devices and good medical environment are also demanded.非常好,从两个方面论证,很到位!
To sum up, the arguer is too cursory to make the suggestion only considering the falling trend of housing cost题目有说房产的贬值是trend吗?, the mayor's promise and the number of physicians. To make his suggestion more convincing, he has to take the facets discussed above into account, that is, to consider the situation of other places and give more strong evidence to prove that Clearview is the most suitable place for retirees. 结尾概括的很好!
真不敢相信这是一篇限时的文章,amy,我越来越崇拜你了,可惜你只能在一个星期后看到以上文字了,向你学习!-------“kito组最可爱的小朋友" |
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