issue43 请指教

virginia730UID: 208873

TOPIC：ISSUE 43 - "To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards."


     The performance of leaders and public officials often has a significant influence on the majority due to their powerful positions. In order to serve the best interests of the people, some propose that leaders and officials must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards, which in my view is basically right but exaggerated the extent of moral needed.
    As is acknowledged by many, certain level of moral and ethics is the foundation of the pursuit of an effective leadership or the basis of any realm of occupation. leaders and officials with high standards of moral and ethics are more likely to contribute devotedly and loyally, yet are more concerned about the well-being of their people and nation compared to those of low moral and selfishness. The example of Gandhi illustrates readily, Gandhi as the heir of an aristocratic family, did not indulge himself into luxury but rather lived a plain and simple life in order to demonstrate his support of the non-violence uncooperative movement. What made Gandhi to forsake wealth and property is his high standards of moral and loyalty to his country to free it from colonization. On the contrary, leaders of low moral and ethics easily neglect their duty in the face of their personal desires such as fame and wealth. Admittedly, it is the nature of man to have desires, and leaders may happily find that many of their personal desires can be realized with authority at hand, when at this point of time, without the restraint of moral and ethics, they are very likely to fall. Man may never forget the tragedy of world war two, the cause of which is the invasion of Nazis, who were at the command of Hitler. Hitler as the supreme leader of Germany at the time desired to rule all regardless of the harm to peace and harmony. Such great desire of Hitler brought about the most devastating and cruel war in human history. Leaders and official are usually endowed with decisive powers, yet they are virtually ordinary people who have flaws and desire that for them, a high standard of moral and ethics is especially important.
        However, the term" high” does not necessarily extends to "highest". For political leaders and officials it is at best but not necessary to maintain the highest standards of moral and ethics. Besides moral and ethics, there are many other factors indispensable for an effective leader such as intelligence, flexibility, insight and so on. Take Roosevelt as an instance, his contribution acknowledged by history and later generations, however may not be the person of highest moral in his age, and in fact nobody focus on that being an effective leader, whether Roosevelt maintained the highest standards of moral and ethics or not. I would like to suppose that the overall effectiveness of a leader or official is a jigsaw puzzle, and though high moral is an indispensable piece, it can not make out the whole puzzle on it own.
      In sum, leaders and public officials surely should maintain a high standard of moral and ethics, yet they do not have to reach the highest. An effective leadership consists of many factors and is based on a comprehensive capacity.

果小冻UID: 208370

zhan xian

virginia730UID: 208873

o_o怎么出现广告了??
呵呵,,,既然在我帖子里,要给广告费哦.....

virginia730UID: 208873

.,................汗...
真的是广告??
不是小小开的玩笑恩...

果小冻UID: 208370

The performance of leaders and public officials often has a significant influence on the majority due to their powerful positions. In order to serve the best interests of the people, some propose that leaders and officials must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards, which in my view is basically right but exaggerated the extent of moral needed.[觉得开头的观点提出的真是简明扼要。恩]
    As is acknowledged by many, certain level of moral and ethics is the foundation of the pursuit of an effective leadership or the basis of any realm of occupation.[翼翼的用词就是地道。汗我的怎么办捏] leaders and officials with high standards of moral and ethics are more likely to contribute devotedly and loyally, yet are more concerned about the well-being of their people and nation compared to those of low moral and selfishness. The example of Gandhi illustrates readily, Gandhi as the heir of an aristocratic family, did not indulge himself into luxury but rather lived a plain and simple life in order to demonstrate his support of the non-violence uncooperative movement. What made Gandhi to forsake wealth and property is his high standards of moral and loyalty to his country to free it from colonization. On the contrary, leaders of low moral and ethics easily neglect their duty in the face of their personal desires such as fame and wealth. Admittedly, it is the nature of man to have desires, and leaders may happily find that many of their personal desires can be realized with authority at hand, when at this point of time, without the restraint of moral and ethics, they are very likely to fall. Man may never forget the tragedy of world war two, the cause of which is the invasion of Nazis, who were at the command of Hitler. Hitler as the supreme leader of Germany at the time desired to rule all regardless of the harm to peace and harmony. Such great desire of Hitler brought about the most devastating and cruel war in human history.[我总是想不明白，在举这样的反例的时候，在说明了他们的罪行之后怎么和不有效的领导联系起来] Leaders and official are usually endowed with decisive powers, yet they are virtually ordinary people who have flaws and desire that for them, a high standard of moral and ethics is especially important.
        However, the term" high” does not necessarily extends to "highest". For political leaders and officials it is at best but not necessary to maintain the highest standards of moral and ethics.[承接这个不必要，好象没有说下去哈] Besides moral and ethics, there are many other factors indispensable for an effective leader such as intelligence, flexibility, insight and so on. Take Roosevelt as an instance, his contribution acknowledged by history and later generations, however may not be the person of highest moral in his age, and in fact nobody focus on that being an effective leader, whether Roosevelt maintained the highest standards of moral and ethics or not.[但是好象没有说清楚他的品质和他的成就的关系呀] I would like to suppose that the overall effectiveness of a leader or official is a jigsaw puzzle, and though high moral is an indispensable piece, it can not make out the whole puzzle on it own.
      In sum, leaders and public officials surely should maintain a high standard of moral and ethics, yet they do not have to reach the highest. An effective leadership consists of many factors and is based on a comprehensive capacity.[恩。看了很久，能说的好象就是这些了。一起讨论哈。我家的公主。西西]

yogurt4UID: 198389

原帖由 virginia730 于 2006-1-27 19:30 发表
.,................汗...
真的是广告??
不是小小开的玩笑恩...

是寄托自己搞的许愿瓶,MM去玩玩?
:p

virginia730UID: 208873

原帖由 yogurt4 于 2006-1-27 20:42 发表


是寄托自己搞的许愿瓶,MM去玩玩?
:p

^_^呵呵
酸奶姐姐吓我一跳那~~~
发现寄托打广告一定满赚钱~............

virginia730UID: 208873

新年了顶下自己~!!!!!!!!!!!
许愿:希望可以考好G!!! 希望大家健康快乐!!!

睡觉了~~~^_^ 新的一年了. 要长大啊~~~~

我的马甲UID: 2177806

谢谢你改我的文，应该是第一次吧？呵呵，24小时的承诺是必须的，只要我能上来网。

TOPIC：ISSUE 43 - "To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards."


     The performance of leaders and public officials often has a significant influence on the majority due to their powerful positions. In order to serve the best interests of the people, some propose that leaders and officials must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards, which in my view is basically right but exaggerated the extent of moral needed.背景+给出观点，简单明快的开头，很好的回应了题目的KW
    As is acknowledged by many, certain level of moral and ethics is the foundation of the pursuit of " pursuing "也许就够了an effective leadership or the basis of any realm of occupation. leaders and officials with high standards of moral and ethics are more likely to contribute devotedly and loyally, yet are more concerned about the well-being of their people and nation compared to those of low moral and selfishness.这个长句写得干净利索，学习ing... The example of Gandhi illustrates readily, Gandhi as the heir of an aristocratic family, 这里，我觉得把后面的as作为同位语放在Gandhi后面要好些，个人想法 did not indulge himself into luxury but rather lived a plain and simple life in order to demonstrate his support of the non-violence uncooperative movement. What made Gandhi to forsake wealth and property is his high standards of moral and loyalty to his country to free it from colonization. 这里可以考虑下强调句 On the contrary, leaders of low moral and ethics easily neglect their duty in the face of their personal desires such as fame and wealth. Admittedly, it is the nature of man to have desires, and leaders may happily find that many of their personal desires can be realized with authority at hand, when at this point of time, without the restraint of moral and ethics, they are very likely to fall. Man may never forget the tragedy of world war two, the cause of which is the invasion of Nazis, who were at the command of Hitler. Hitler as the supreme leader of Germany at the time desired to rule all regardless of the harm to peace and harmony. Such great desire of Hitler brought about the most devastating and cruel war in human history. Leaders and official are usually endowed with decisive powers, yet they are virtually ordinary people who have flaws and desire that for them, a high standard of moral and ethics is especially important. 正反分析配合正反的实例进行论证，太好了。我就不会弄正反论证，这段好好学习学习。没找出什么错误，提了些建议，呵呵。
        However, the term" high” does not necessarily extends to "highest". For political leaders and officials it is at best but not necessary to maintain the highest standards of moral and ethics. Besides moral and ethics, there are many other factors indispensable for an effective leader such as intelligence, flexibility, insight and so on. Take Roosevelt as an instance, 一个建议，这里可以就是句号了，长短句结合嘛 his contribution acknowledged by history and later generations, however may not be the person of highest moral in his age, and in fact nobody focus on that being an effective leader, whether Roosevelt maintained the highest standards of moral and ethics or not.对于“老罗”同学（汗，想起那位了）身上对应上面标出红色的地方可以再谈一句。 I would like to suppose that the overall effectiveness of a leader or official is a jigsaw puzzle, and though high moral is an indispensable piece, it can not make out the whole puzzle on it own.最后一句非常好，很喜欢，要 plagiarize it 了，hoho
      In sum, leaders and public officials surely should maintain a high standard of moral and ethics, yet they do not have to reach the highest. An effective leadership consists of many factors and is based on a comprehensive capacity. 干净利索的结尾。

赞的地方多，基本没改，写得非常好。不过看完全文，可以考虑把B1分成两段，从视觉上感觉好些。而且，ETS官方范文也有分的很不合我们习惯的，我想分得BODY不在于形式上的几段，几个段落如果一个主题（只是正反不同）他们同样可以是一个层次的。

语言有很多学习的地方（手头一张纸已经记满了），不罗嗦又层层深入，论证充分。

农历新年大家杀鸡成功！
结婚的家庭美满，恋爱的感情融洽，未果的个人事业双丰收。

virginia730UID: 208873

谢谢~~~

win-szUID: 2113066

The performance of leaders and public officials often has a significant influence on the majority due to their powerful positions. In order to serve the best interests of the people, some propose that leaders and officials must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards, which in my view is basically right but exaggerated the extent of moral needed.
    As is acknowledged by many, certain level of moral and ethics is the foundation of the pursuit of an effective leadership or(用even更好，表示不仅是领导的基础，而且还是任何职业领域的基础，说明了道德的重要性。 or的话，道德是任何职业领域的基础跟本题目关系就不大了) the basis of any realm of occupation. leaders and officials with high standards of moral and ethics are more likely to contribute devotedly and loyally, yet are more concerned about the well-being of their people and nation compared to those of low moral and selfishness. The example of Gandhi illustrates readily, Gandhi as the heir of an aristocratic family, did not indulge himself into luxury but rather lived a plain and simple（甘地简朴的生活不足以引起国家的独立。这里可以增加其他具体的道德：比如他忠于国家和人民，追求国家自由；追求正义；不追求个人利益的崇高理想和道德，在印度独立的斗争中起了重要作用。这里你可以结合将道德具体化，边叙述边分析，说明是这些道德对于领导工作的重要性） life in order to demonstrate his support of the non-violence uncooperative movement. What made Gandhi to（没有to，固定搭配） forsake wealth and property is his high standards of moral and loyalty to his country to free it from colonization（这个例子可以继续展开，突出这些品质是如何引导人们进行不懈的斗争，甘地的领袖作用由此得到增加，并且促进了独立斗争。慢慢展开，自述就不愁了，呵呵）. On the contrary（这个以后我觉得可以重新一段，因为这是从反面论证的，本身独立。合在一起太长了，容易视觉疲劳）, leaders of low moral and ethics easily neglect their duty（是公众责任） in the face of their personal desires such as fame and wealth（名誉和财富没有什么不对的，这里应该是自私，贪婪等的品质更好些，更能体现出对社会的负面影响）. Admittedly, it is the nature of man to have desires, and leaders may happily find that many of their personal desires can be realized with authority at hand, when at this point of time, without the restraint of moral and ethics, they are very likely to fall（感觉说了一半，不但滑落了，而且违背公众利益，甚至给社会造成巨大灾难）. Man may never forget the tragedy of world war two, the cause of which is the invasion of Nazis, who were at the command of Hitler（这里表达感觉有些累赘，本句可以删除，直接说希特勒的个人欲望，缺少公众道德，给世界造成的大灾难更好些。）. Hitler as the supreme leader of Germany at the time desired to rule all （少world with various ethic groups of people）regardless of the harm to peace and harmony（这里可以突出个人欲望带来的严重后果：全球卷入这场战斗，无数人失去生命等等，仅仅危害和平，无法加深对后果的感受）. Such great（great一般是褒义，这里不合适吧？） desire of Hitler brought about the most devastating and cruel war in human history. Leaders and official are usually endowed with decisive powers, yet they are virtually ordinary people who have flaws and desire that for them, a high standard of moral and ethics is especially important.

        However, the term" high” does not necessarily extends to "highest". For political leaders and officials it is at best but not necessary to maintain the highest standards of moral and ethics. Besides moral and ethics, there are many other factors indispensable for an effective leader such as intelligence, flexibility, insight and so on. Take Roosevelt as an instance, his contribution acknowledged by history and later generations, however may not be the person of highest moral in his age, and in fact nobody focus（这里意思有些不顺，可以参考类似的表达：尽管他没有最高的道德标准，但是这不妨碍他的有效领导和对社会的贡献。） on that being an effective leader, whether Roosevelt maintained the highest standards of moral and ethics or not. I would like to suppose that the overall effectiveness of a leader or official is a jigsaw puzzle, and though high moral is an indispensable piece, it can not make out the whole puzzle on it own（不错表达）.     

In sum, leaders and public officials surely should maintain a high standard of moral and ethics, yet they do not have to reach the highest. An effective leadership consists of many factors and is based on a comprehensive capacity.

没有什么大问题（结构上和思路上），注意例子的进一步展开，和某些表达上的通顺！

[ 本帖最后由 win-sz 于 2006-1-28 17:57 编辑 ]