issue51(教育类) 欢迎大家拍砖，有拍必回

ChunyanLi2005UID: 2124266

issue51
改一下大家提出的毛病！先改小的，以便阅读，大的慢慢再改
没想到这次作文有这么多人来修改，真太高兴了，我一定好好改这篇作文！！！
第一个限时完成               589words
------提纲------
Position: disagree
1.这样的教育体制是不可能实现的。
2. 教育的一个主要目的（intention, purpose），应该是普及基础知识和指引学生。
3. 最重要的是，课程应该由教育者来设定，学生应该学会面对他们所面对的事。
------题目------
Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.
------正文------
Unavoidably, education at present still cannot satisfy every student. As a result, some complain to it and even advocate to build one specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. Will the education like that be truly effective? Certainly not.

Above all, to build such an education system is impossibe to accomplish. How can ministers and teachers get to know what students really need and what interest they truly love. As we know, there is an inextricable gap between students and educators. For example, educators often set homework for students to finish in order to make them understand the knowledge deeper and cultivate the students a good habit to study by themselves, but most of the students just oppose to do it. And when students make mistakes, educators' critics toward them often increase this gap. In this case, how can educators communicate with students well and get to know what the students really needs.  Or just asking the students what are you interested in? Of course, it is unfeasible. As a student, he or she may not definately know what he or she really interests. Sometimes when he or she meets something that interests him or her only for a moment, he or she may simply consider that it is his or her interest and he or she would really good at it at that time. Otherwise, on the process of learning, students will be inspired by something new from time to time. And when he or she has got enough knowledge, he or she may finally determine what direction he or she would head for.

Additionally, the primary goal of education before entering college or university is to provide fundamental knowledge to make it as a backgroud of every student, and to guide and enlive students. With the rapid development of technology, every field of knowledge becomes interdependent. For that, it requires us to master basic knowledge in various fields. Today, most projects refer to many fields, if a researcher only know the knowledge in his own field, how can he bombine the indepedent production with others to finish the project. And also with the wide knowledge, although just basic one, people who have got the education, will easily have something to talk with each other and make communication more enjoyable.So we should not just let students determine what kind of curricula they like, but focus on cultivating the students' study habit, and on social interaction.

Finally, the most important thing is that educators should set the curriculum and students should learn what is presented to them. The end of education is not to make every student happy or comfortable, but to guide them and to teach them how to study. Under the rules of the school, students are well organized and gradually turn to be good citizens. To face what has presented to them, also cultivate them a spirit of forbearing and overcome the difficulties in front of them. If educatiors just want to satisfy the students without any constraint to them, how can them deal with annoying problems when they get a job in the future. That also will bring no benefits to society.

Although for some individuals, like some great scientists, education designed to meeet their individual needs and interests, mayl be truly effective. But the education is aiming for offering basic skills and knowledge to public, cultivating the students' study habit, and guiding them to right direction,however, not just to meet the individual needs and interests of each student, which may also not good for students themselves and society, education will not be truly effective when just wanting to satisfy the individual needs.

[ 本帖最后由 ChunyanLi2005 于 2006-2-8 13:11 编辑 ]

cavanaUID: 2178782

占座

cavanaUID: 2178782

Unavoidably, education at present still cannot satisfy every student. As a result, some complain to it and even advocate to build one specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. Will the education like that be truly effective? Certainly not.[借用组长拍我的一句话吧，这样的开头看不出后文的层次]

Above all, to build such an education system is impossible to accomplish. How can ministers and teachers get to know what students really need and what interest they truly love. As we know, there is a inextricable gap between students and educators. For example, educators often set homework for students to finish in order to make them understand the knowledge deeper and cultivate the students a good habit to study by themselves, but students just oppose to it[这句话说得有些绝对吧，不是所有学生都这样]. And when students make mistakes, educators' critics toward them often increase this gap. In this case, how can educators communicate with students well and get to know what the students really needs.  Or just asking the students what are you interested in? Of course, it is not a good way.(谁能用一个形容词来取代 not a good way “不可行的”，我实在想不出也查不到) [unfeasible？]As a student, he or she may not definitely know what he or she really interests. Sometimes when he or she meets something that interests him or her only for a moment, he or she may simply that is his or her interest and he or she would really[少了not吧 不然说不通顺] good at it at that time. Otherwise, on the process of learning, students are gradually inspired by something new. And when he or she has got enough knowledge, he or she may finally determine what direction he or she would head for.

Additionally, the primary goal of education is to provide fundamental knowledge to make it as a backgroud of every student, and to guide and enlive students. With the rapid development of technology, every field of knowledge becomes interdependent. For that, it requires us to master basic knowledge in various fields. Today, most projects are refering to many fields, if a researcher only know the knowledge in his own field, how can he bombine the indepedent production with others to finish the project. And also with the widely knowledge, although just basic one, people who have got the education, will easily have something to talk with each other and make communication more enjoyable.So we should not just pay attention to what the students want learn what kind of materials[这句话语意不通阿，而且感觉对中心句的支持不大，换个说法会好一点], but focus on cultivating the students' study habit, and on social interaction.[总得觉得第二个论点不是很有说服力，也许是原本的意思没有表达完整；我提出一个反驳观点：大学教育也是基础教育吗]

Finally, the most important thing is that educators should set the curriculum and students should learn what is presented to them. The end of education is not to make every student happy or comfort,[comfortable] but to guide them and to teach them how to study. Under the rules of the school, students are well organized and gradually turn to be a good citizen[good citizens]. To face what has presented to them, also cultivate them a spirit of forbearing and overcome the difficulties in front of them. If educatiors just want to satisfy the students without any constrictions[? 这个词也用得很奇怪] to them, how can them deal with annoying problems when they get a job in the future. That also will bring no benefits to society.

To sum up, as the education is aiming for offering basic skills and knowledge to students, cultivating the students' study habit, and guiding them to right direction[什么是right的方向呢，最好描述一下，不然我也可以反驳说individual needs 也是right的方向],however, not just to meet the individual needs and interests of each student, which may also not good for students themselves and society, education will not be truly effective when just wanting to satisfy the individual needs.

mittenUID: 2180447

立的太绝对好么？结尾让步一点是否可以，比如爱迪生就是被教育害了，如果单独给他可以使他更牛之类的

rebeccavenUID: 2140456

句子的逻辑不是太好,写的时候可能有点不清楚.

ChunyanLi2005UID: 2124266

你们提的那些方面我的确没有注意到， 我一定好好改一下再发到本帖中

ucaoshenUID: 142277

Unavoidably, education at present still cannot satisfy every student. As a result, some complain to it and even advocate to build one （一个什么？one school? one college? or one education system?) specifically designed to meet the (delete "the")individual needs and interests of each student. Will the education like that be truly effective? Certainly not.

Above all, (above all一般用在结尾总结处，用在此处不合适，换成I think更好）to build such an education system is impossibe to accomplish. How can ministers and teachers get to know what students really need and what interest they truly love. As we know, there is a (an) inextricable gap between students and educators. For example, educators often set homework for students to finish （去掉，罗嗦，homework本来就是给students来finish的）in order to make them understand the knowledge deeper (deeply) and cultivate the students a good habit to study by themselves, but students just oppose to it.（这又是什么意思？） And when students make mistakes, educators' critics toward them often increase this gap. In this case, how can educators communicate with students well and get to know what the students really needs.  Or just asking the students what are you interested in? Of course, it is not a good way.（a good way is OK)(谁能用一个形容词来取代 not a good way “不可行的”，我实在想不出也查不到) As a student, he or she may not definately know what he or she really interests. Sometimes when he or she meets something that interests him or her only for a moment, he or she may simply that (此处语病）is his or her interest and he or she would really good at it at that time. Otherwise, on the process of learning(when studying), students are gradually inspired by something new.(inspire激发灵感是短时间的，不能用gradually) And when he or she has got enough knowledge, he or she may finally determine what direction he or she would head for.
这段中讲的两个问题，一个是学生对自己兴趣的定位问题，一个是师生交流问题，其实可以分开分别阐述。
Additionally, the primary goal of education is to provide fundamental knowledge to make it as a backgroud of every student, and to guide and enlive students. With the rapid development of technology, every field of knowledge becomes interdependent. For that, it requires us to master basic knowledge in various fields. Today, most projects are refering to (refer to)many fields, if a researcher only know the knowledge in his own field(这一句表达不太好，典型的中国式英语）, how can he bombine the indepedent production（？？？） with others to finish the project. And also with the widely (wide) knowledge, although just basic one, people who have got the education, will easily have something to talk with each other and make communication more enjoyable.So we should not just pay attention to what the students want learn what kind of meterials语病, but focus on cultivating the students' study habit, and on social interaction.
后面两段的语病和中国式英语不挑了。
Finally, the most important thing is that educators should set the curriculum and students should learn what is presented to them. The end of education is not to make every student happy or comfort, but to guide them and to teach them how to study. Under the rules of the school, students are well organized and gradually turn to be a good citizen. To face what has presented to them, also cultivate them a spirit of forbearing and overcome the difficulties in front of them. If educatiors just want to satisfy the students without any constrictions to them, how can them deal with annoying problems when they get a job in the future. That also will bring no benefits to society.

To sum up, as the education is aiming for offering basic skills and knowledge to students, cultivating the students' study habit, and guiding them to right direction,however, not just to meet the individual needs and interests of each student, which may also not good for students themselves and society, education will not be truly effective when just wanting to satisfy the individual needs.
你的基本语言表达能力还需要加强，还有很多chinese english需要多读原版英文文章。
另外，几段间逻辑有点混乱。应该先说教育的目的，在说教育着重哪方面啊。
不过，按时写完这么多，还是不错的，有时间训练的话，应该会有不少进步的。

ChunyanLi2005UID: 2124266

你修改地好认真！多谢，若你有作文要修改，不妨留链