argument147 (V-March) 希望大家批评指导！

chongchong05UID: 2144321

147 argument
In this editorial, the arguer concludes that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months. To support the above conclusion, the arguer lists the survey which indicates that currently video-game players prefer games providing lifelike graphics, while Whirlwind has just introduced several such games to people of 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. This argument suffers from several fallacies.

First, the grounds the conclusion depends on are not convincing. According to the cited survey, the arguer can not in detail present the number of people who take part in the survey, the percentage of persons who prefer video games, the reason why they like video games and how many people would like to purchase games. Suppose that if Whirlwind chooses the minority as major consumers, it will fail on sale. In addition, in the following investigation, the arguer mentions that people 10 to 25 years old are most likely to play video games. However, the arguer did not write how many people would like to buy these video games. To Whirlwind, to meet consumers' need is not enough. To let people purchase products in stores by correct guidance is more important. If many people like video-game but do not buy it, more extensive advertising will serve next to nothing. Thus, the survey in this argument is groundless.

Second, the arguer ignores the reason why the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years. The arguer only emphasizes on what kinds of features of the games players prefer, but cares little about some other hard conditions. That is, whether the quality and function of the video games reach the standard of consumers, whether the price is low enough, whether the fashion is up to date, whether there is enough good service to meet consumers’ requirements and so on.  These are major factors consumers will take into account, while all of them are ignored by the arguer.

In conclusion, the arguer fails to provide very strong evidence which can convince us that the Whirlwind video-game sales will increase based on this limited survey. To enhance the argument, the arguer needs to consider more aspects mentioned above in a new survey.

爱格UID: 2103778

147 argument
In this editorial, the arguer concludes that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months. To support the above conclusion, the arguer lists the survey which indicates that currently video-game players prefer games providing lifelike graphics, while Whirlwind has just introduced several such games to people of 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. This argument suffers from several fallacies.

First, the grounds the conclusion depends on are not convincing. According to the cited survey, the arguer can not in detail present the number of people who take part in the survey, the percentage of persons who prefer video games, the reason why they like video games and how many people would like to purchase games. Suppose that if Whirlwind chooses the minority as major consumers, it will fail on sale. In addition, in the following investigation, the arguer mentions that people 10 to 25 years old are most likely to play video games. However, the arguer did not write how many people would like to buy these video games. To Whirlwind, to meet consumers' need is not enough. （To let people purchase products in stores by correct guidance is more important. If many people like video-game but do not buy it, more extensive advertising will serve next to nothing恕我才疏学浅，不过我没见过这种表达法，请指教，另外我知道另一种常见表达法serve no purpose表示不中用似乎可以替换. ）另外整个括号里的观点我觉得有问题，因为广告的作用不就是鼓动人们买产品或服务吗？正因为人们喜欢却不愿意购买才要作广告的呀，怎么能说人们不愿买广告就多余呢？Thus, the survey in this argument is groundless.

Second, the arguer ignores the reason why the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years. The arguer only emphasizes on what kinds of features of the games players prefer, but cares little about some other hard conditions. That is, whether the quality and function of the video games reach the standard of consumers, whether the price is low enough, whether the fashion is up to date, whether there is enough good service to meet consumers’ requirements and so on.  These are major factors consumers will take into account, while all of them are ignored by the arguer.

In conclusion, the arguer fails to provide very strong evidence which can convince us that the Whirlwind video-game sales will increase based on this limited survey. To enhance the argument, the arguer needs to consider more aspects mentioned above in a new survey.
通篇写的很简洁，也没有什么明显的错误至少我都没看出来，反驳的角度也很好，问题就是写的是不是过于简洁啦？以至于还不到400字～我想你这篇文章还有很多可以展开的地方，比如你second一段，whether后的每一句都是可以展开说得，这样字数不就有了吗？
说得不对的地方请指正！:)