argument61 电脑使用率，没限时成功

小室黄瓜UID: 2155213

TOPIC：ARGUMENT 61 - The following appeared in a report by the School District of Eyleria.

"Nationally, the average ratio of computers to students in kindergarten through grade 12 (K-12) is 1:5. Educators indicate that this is very good ratio. This means that across the country, all students have access to and can use computers daily in their classrooms. In Eyleria's K-12 schools, the ratio of computers to students is 1:7. This number is sufficient to ensure that all of Eyleria's students, by the time they graduate from high school, will be fully proficient in the use of computer technology. Thus, there is no reason to spend any of the schools' budget on computers or other technology in the next few years."
WORDS：572        TIME：超时        DATE：2006-3-2

At first glance, the argue has a clear process of reasoning based on the fact that the average ratio of computers to students in kingdergarten through grade 12 is 1:5, which is undoubtable a fact that we can not deny. However, the analyzing process of this argument has a series of faults even though it seems plausible,therefore, the conclusion of the unconvincing analysis is not cogent.

To begin with, the first assumption that all across the country,all students have access to and can use computers daily in their classrooms is groudless, which based on the fact that the average ratio of computers to students overthrough the country is 1:5 which indicated by the educators that this is very good ratio. Because the ratio 1:5 is just average ratio of the country and it is possiblly that there is one area in the country whose ratio if 1:1 while there is another area whose ratio is 1:9.  What's more, educators indicate that the ratio is very good, yet, what kind of condition is so-called very good haven't been stated and we have reason to make the assumption above.So, it can not equal that everyone in the country have access to and can use computers daily in their classrooms.

Then, the arguer make the assumption that In Eyleria whose ratio of computers to students is 1:7 can  ensure all of the students there have a sufficient source of computers on the groud that the all students in the country can use computers daily, which is a serious assumption.Even if the ratio of the country equals that all of the students in this country can use computers daily in their classrooms , the ratio which means one computer is needed by 7 students may not be good as well. Because it is below the average ratio, we can assume that the number is insufficient, not to say to ensure that all of Eyleria's students will be fully proficient in the use of computer technology. Secondly, by the time they graduate from high school, whether they will be proficient of computer technology should base on some other important factors not just the one that their computer ratio or numbers of students, what is more important is that their teaching resources and the design of their class and so forth.

Finally, the final conclusion by the arguer that there is no reason to spend any of the schools' budget on computers or other technology in the next few years which base on that the computers are enough makes rather hasty and is also groundless. Even if the schools’ resource of computers may be sufficient for students’ learning and practicing they can not ensure that after few years the ratio will also be good to the shool. It is possible that the student’s number dramastically increase in the coming few years and the computer resource then may not be sufficient. In addition, the computer technology should undeniable be supply with budget because if they want their students to be proficient in compter technology after school they should ecsure that their computer technology such as the softwares and hardwares be up-dated which is directly the contribution to student’s competed ability.

In sum, the author’s evidence lends little credible support to the assumption and the analyzing process may not satisfy us. Consequently, maybe through the further analysis they indeed have the reason to invest more on their computer and technology.

weiweizhuUID: 179352

At first glance, the argue has a clear process of reasoning(这边加上reasoning的具体内容） based on the fact that the average ratio of computers to students in kingdergarten through grade 12 is 1:5, which is undoubtable a fact that we can not deny. However, the analyzing process of this argument has a series of faults even though it seems plausible,therefore, the conclusion of the unconvincing analysis is not cogent.（这段没有把作者的意思表达清楚啊）

To begin with, the first assumption that all across the country,all students have access to and can use computers daily in their classrooms is groudless, which based on the fact that the average ratio of computers to students overthrough the country is 1:5 which indicated by the educators that this is very good ratio.（会不会太长一点） Because the ratio 1:5 is just average ratio of the country and it is possiblly that there is one area in the country whose ratio if 1:1 while there is another area whose ratio is 1:9.  What's more, educators indicate that the ratio is very good, yet, what kind of condition is so-called very good haven't been stated and we have reason to make the assumption above.So, it can not equal that everyone in the country have access to and can use computers daily in their classrooms.（这段的攻击方法挺新的，是不是就是所谓的攻击前提啊）

Then, the arguer make the assumption that In Eyleria whose ratio of computers to students is 1:7 can  ensure all of the students there have a sufficient source of computers on the groud that the all students in the country can use computers daily, which is a serious（seriously misleading） assumption.Even if the ratio of the country equals that all of the students in this country can use computers daily in their classrooms , the ratio which means one computer is needed by 7 students may not be good as well. Because it is below the average ratio, we can assume that the number is insufficient, not to say to ensure that all of Eyleria's students will be fully proficient in the use of computer technology. （这边可以说得短一些）Secondly, by the time they graduate from high school, whether they will be proficient of computer technology should base on some other important factors not just the one that their computer ratio or numbers of students, what is more important is that their teaching resources and the design of their class and so forth.（还有一个差异概念你发现没有，一个是从幼儿园到小学，另一个只是小学，可以攻击一下）

Finally, the final conclusion by the arguer that there is no reason to spend any of the schools' budget on computers or other technology in the next few years which base on that the computers are enough makes rather hasty and is also groundless. Even if the schools’ resource of computers may be sufficient for students’ learning and practicing they can not ensure that after few years the ratio will also be good to the shool.（这点攻击得挺好得） It is possible that the student’s number dramastically increase in the coming few years and the computer resource then may not be sufficient. In addition, the computer technology should undeniable be supply with budget because if they want their students to be proficient in compter technology after school they should ecsure that their computer technology such as the softwares and hardwares be up-dated which is directly the contribution to student’s competed ability.

In sum, the author’s evidence lends little credible support to the assumption and the analyzing process may not satisfy us. Consequently, maybe through the further analysis they indeed have the reason to invest more on their computer and technology. （这边可以多一点点）

我觉得你现在真的进步挺多的，
argument的字数和issue要求的差不多了
一些攻击的细节还要把握一下
语言都挺顺畅的但是感觉没有特别亮点的词汇

看看我的把
issue17  https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1
argument61  https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

TARZAN_1982UID: 2142821

TOPIC：ARGUMENT 61 - The following appeared in a report by the School District of Eyleria.

"Nationally, the average ratio of computers to students in kindergarten through grade 12 (K-12) is 1:5. Educators indicate that this is very good ratio. This means that across the country, all students have access to and can use computers daily in their classrooms. In Eyleria's K-12 schools, the ratio of computers to students is 1:7. This number is sufficient to ensure that all of Eyleria's students, by the time they graduate from high school, will be fully proficient in the use of computer technology. Thus, there is no reason to spend any of the schools' budget on computers or other technology in the next few years."
WORDS：572        TIME：超时        DATE：2006-3-2

At first glance, the arguer has a clear process of reasoning based on the fact that the average ratio of computers to students in kingdergarten through grade 12 is 1:5, which is undoubtable a fact that we can not deny. However, the analyzing process of this argument has a series of faults even though it seems plausible,therefore, the conclusion of the unconvincing analysis is not cogent. 这段一般要摆出作者的观点，表明自己的看法，最好稍微充实一下

To begin with, the first assumption that all across the country,all students have access to and can use computers daily in their classrooms is groudless, which based on the fact that the average ratio of computers to students overthrough the country is 1:5 which indicated by the educators that this is very good ratio. Because the ratio 1:5 is just average ratio of the country and it is possiblly that there is one area in the country whose ratio if 1:1 while there is another area whose ratio is 1:9.  What's more, educators indicate that the ratio is very good, yet, what kind of condition is so-called very good haven't been stated and we have reason to make the assumption above.So, it can not equal 换成demostrate会不会好点demonstrate that everyone in the country have access to and can use computers daily in their classrooms.

Then, the arguer make the assumption that In Eyleria whose ratio of computers to students is 1:7 can  ensure all of the students there have a sufficient source of computers on the groud that the all students in the country can use computers daily, which is a serious assumption前面刚用过最好换一个.Even if the ratio of the country equals that all of the students in this country can use computers daily in their classrooms , the ratio which means one computer is needed by 7 students may not be good as well. Because it is below the average ratio, we can assume that the number is insufficient, not to say to ensure that all of Eyleria's students will be fully proficient in the use of computer technology. Secondly 考虑一下additionally or moreover , by the time they graduate from high school, whether they will be proficient of computer technology or not  should base on some other important factors not just the one that their computer ratio or numbers of students, what is more important is that their teaching resources and the design of their class and so forth. 最好再来个总结

Finally, the final conclusion by the arguer that there is no reason to spend any of the schools' budget on computers or other technology in the next few years which base on that the computers are enough makes rather hasty and is also groundless. Even if the schools’ resource of computers may be sufficient for students’ learning and practicing they can not ensure that after few years the ratio will also be good to the shool. It is possible that the student’s number dramastically increase in the coming few years and the computer resource then may not be sufficient. In addition, the computer technology should undeniable be supply with budget because if they want their students to be proficient in compter technology after school they should ecsure that their computer technology such as the softwares and hardwares be up-dated which is directly the contribution to student’s competed ability.

In sum, the author’s evidence lends little credible support to the assumption and the analyzing process may not satisfy us. Consequently, maybe through the further analysis they indeed have the reason to invest more on their computer and technology.

主要的逻辑错误都已找到并有力的攻击，不过感觉字数太多了，毕竟时间有限啊，如果能打字很快当然好，要不未必是好事！看晚了，实在是不好意思啊