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[未归类] argument 51 写了同主题的ARG,呵呵,求拍 [复制链接]

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发表于 2006-3-3 22:51:19 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Doctors have long suspected that secondary infections may keep some patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain. This hypothesis has now been proved by preliminary results of a study of two groups of patients. The first group of patients, all being treated for muscle injuries by Dr. Newland, a doctor who specializes in sports medicine, took antibiotics regularly throughout their treatment. Their recuperation time was, on average, 40 percent quicker than typically expected. Patients in the second group, all being treated by Dr. Alton, a general physician, were given sugar pills, although the patients believed they were taking antibiotics. Their average recuperation time was not significantly reduced. Therefore, all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment.”
[翻译]
医生长期以来怀疑严重肌肉扭伤后的二次感染妨碍了一些患者迅速康复。这一假说现在被一项对两组患者的研究的初步结果所证实。第一组患者全部由专攻运动医学的Dr. Newland治疗肌肉损伤,他们在疗程中经常服用抗生素。他们的康复期平均比通常预期的快40%。第二组患者由综合医师Dr. Alton治疗,他们被给予糖丸,而患者相信他们在服用抗生素。他们的平均康复时间没有明显缩短。因此,任何被确诊为肌肉损伤的患者应被建议服用抗生素作为辅助治疗

In this argument, the author concludes that all patients with muscle strain should take antibiotics as part of their treatment.To support the recommendation, the author cites a study with two groups of patients, the group treated by specialist in sports medicine take antibiotics, while the other group cured by general physician take sugar pills, in the former group, their recuperation time was reduced while the in the latter group not. However, after careful analysis, the argue procedure have several logical flaws which render it unconvincing as it stands.

To mention first, the final conclusion is based on the study of two groups of patients, nevertheless, the arguer fails to tell us that the two groups of patients are comparable. First, whether the number of patients in each group is the same or similar, it is entirely possible that the latter groups of patients number is many times compared to the first groups total number or otherwise. Second, even assumed that the study of two groups are comparable in number, the author also fails to take account for the two group patient health conditions are the same on average, perhaps the first group is relatively youth people and the other may be the old patient or children, perhaps the severity degree in the two groups are not the same, it is also possible that the first groups of patient are less severe than the second groups.

Even assumed that the two groups are comparable, the author also fails to consider other factors that lead the different result.As the author provided above, the doctor of the first group is specialist in the sports medicine while the second group are general physician, common sense tells me the specialist would treat the patients to healing quickly than the general physician.At the same time, we can not exclude the possibilities that the patients in the second group prolong the recuperation process since sugar bills have a negative effect on the healing process for patients. Since the author have not analysis completely reasons for the different results, I can not accept the conclusion based on the deduction.

Even accepted the author analysis procedure, the author’s conclusion all patients with muscle strain would be advised to take antibiotics is not wise. At the beginning, the author contends that serous patients with secondary infections should take antibiotic, however, the conclude suggestion is evolved in all patients without excluding less severe patients or the one who will not suffer secondary infections even first. Moreover, the author fails to take consideration that the antibiotic may lead some problems for people such as hypersusceptibility and so forth, it even possible that antibiotic may have a potential threaten that effect the treatment and prolong the healing procure.

To sum up, the argue not only suffer the flaws of failing to mention the two groups of patients are comparable, but also  has not provide other factors that may influence the result in the analysis procedure. Moreover, the conclusion is not a feasible and reasonable suggestion.
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发表于 2006-3-6 15:39:34 |只看该作者
In this argument, the author concludes that all patients with muscle strain should take antibiotics as part of their treatment.To support the recommendation, the author cites a study with two groups of patients, the group treated by specialist in sports medicine take antibiotics, while the other group cured by general physician take sugar pills, in the former group, their recuperation time was reduced while the in the latter group not. However, after careful analysis, the argue procedure have several logical flaws which render it unconvincing as it stands.尽量换一种开头,这种开头太常见了,这样开头也不一定能得高分

To mention first, the final conclusion is based on the study of two groups of patients, nevertheless, the arguer fails to tell us that the two groups of patients are comparable. First, whether the number of patients in each group is the same or similar我觉得你在这里应该把相似得因素写一下不如说the number,health condition, it is entirely possible that the latter groups of patients number is many times compared to the first groups total number or otherwise. Second, even assumed that the study of two groups are comparable in number, the author also fails to take account for the two group patient health conditions are the same on average, perhaps the first group is relatively youth people and the other may be the old patient or children, perhaps the severity degree in the two groups are not the same, it is also possible that the first groups of patient are less severe than the second groups.

Even assumed that the two groups are comparable, the author also fails to consider other factors that lead the different result.As the author providedmentioned above, the doctor of the first group is specialist in the sports medicine while the second group are general physician, common sense tells meus the specialist would treat the patients to healing quickly than the general physician.At the same time, we can not exclude the possibilities that the patients in the second group prolong the recuperation process since sugar bills have a negative effect on the healing process for patients. Since the author have not analysis completely reasons for the different results, I can not accept the conclusion based on the deduction.

Even accepted the author analysis procedure换一种说法吧,每一段开头最好不要用一个样式得开头Even if the procedure of the treat is undoubted , the author's conclusion all patients with muscle strain would be advised to take antibiotics is not wise. At the beginning, the author contends that serous patients with secondary infections should take antibiotic, however, the conclude suggestion is evolved in all patients without excluding less severe patients or the one who will not suffer secondary infections even first. Moreover, the author fails to take consideration that the antibiotic may lead some problems for people such as hypersusceptibility and so forth, it even possible that antibiotic may have a potential threaten that effect the treatment and prolong the healing procure.

To sum up, the argue not only suffer the flaws of failing to mention the two groups of patients are comparable, but also  has not provide other factors that may influence the result in the analysis procedure. Moreover, the conclusion is not a feasible and reasonable suggestion.

这篇文章语言感觉很好,没有什么大得问题,就是注意段手句得变化就ok了

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板凳
发表于 2006-3-6 16:06:58 |只看该作者

谢谢

谢谢DD,你说的很对,
1可是我不知道除了北美范文那种开头还有什么样的开头?
ETS范文那种吗? 还事不要写浪费时间的开头? 我也不知道改怎么写
你有好的建议吗? 或者好的开头范文吗?
2恩呀, 你说的很对, TS太死板,再找些句子精彩的让步句型
还有结尾也写得不好, 还准备改一次

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地板
发表于 2006-3-6 16:19:41 |只看该作者

一点儿想法!

用了几个 Even assumed that
……the author also fails to
Even assumed that the two groups are comparable, the author also fails to consider other factors that lead the different result. 应该用复数:results  小心!
还有,觉得你的让步语句用得不是很好。当然,我是新手上路,今天刚写了处女作两篇,欢迎互改!
Here comes the final time to head for a new destination.

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发表于 2010-12-25 22:09:58 |只看该作者
In this argument, the author concludes that all patients with muscle strain should take antibiotics as part of their treatment. To support the recommendation, the author cites a study with two groups of patients, the group treated by specialist in sports medicine take antibiotics, while the other group cured by general physician take sugar pills, in the former group, their recuperation time was reduced while the in the latter group not. However, after careful analysis, the argue procedure have several logical flaws which render it unconvincing as it stands.尽量换一种开头,这种开头太常见了,这样开头也不一定能得高分

To mention first, the final conclusion is based on the study of two groups of patients, nevertheless, the arguer fails to tell us that the two groups of patients are comparable. First, whether the number of patients in each group is the same or similar我觉得你在这里应该把相似得因素写一下不如说the number,health condition, it is entirely possible that the number of the latter group is many times compared to the first group. Second, even assumed that the study of two groups are comparable in number, the author also fails to take account for the two group patient health conditions are the same on average, perhaps the first group is relatively young people and the other may be the old patient or children, perhaps the severity degree in the two groups are not the same, it is also possible that the first groups of patient are less severe than the second groups.

Even assuming that the two groups are comparable, the author also fails to consider other factors that lead the different result. As the author mentioned above, the doctor of the first group is specialist in the sports medicine while the second group are general physician, common sense tells us the specialist would treat the patients to healing faster than the general physician. At the same time, we can not exclude the possibilities that the patients in the second group prolong the recuperation process since sugar bills have a negative effect on the healing process for patients. Since the author have not analysis completely reasons for the different results, I can not accept the conclusion based on the deduction.

Even accepted the author analysis procedure换一种说法吧,每一段开头最好不要用一个样式得开头Even if the procedure of the treat is undoubted , the author's conclusion that all patients with muscle strain would be advised to take antibiotics is not wise. At the beginning, the author contends that serious patients with secondary infections should take antibiotic. However, the concluding suggestion is evolved into all patients without excluding less severe patients or those who are not suffering from secondary infections. Moreover, the author fails to take into consideration that antibiotics may lead to some problems for people such as hypersusceptibility and so forth, it is even possible that antibiotics may have potential threat that affect the treatment and prolong the healing procure.

To sum up, the argue not only suffers the flaws of failing to mention that whether the two groups of patients are comparable, but also  has not provided other factors that may influence the result in the analysis procedure. Moreover, the conclusion is not a feasible and reasonable suggestion.

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RE: argument 51 写了同主题的ARG,呵呵,求拍 [修改]
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argument 51 写了同主题的ARG,呵呵,求拍
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