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[求助] 帮同学发贴:同题协作第三期,留链互拍 [复制链接]

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发表于 2006-4-21 19:43:23 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Nowadays, movies and television can be found almost in every corner all over the world. There is no doubt that they have a
great impact on people's behavior. But which aspects would they affect? Let me explain.

In the first place, we will copy the stars in the movies and television because these stars are so welcomed by the  
people around us that we want to be them eagerly therefore will imitate everything of them unconsciously, including how they  
are addressed, the way they talk and so on. For instance, when James Dean had been a famous idol, juvenile in the USA began to wear Jeans and jackets and think it's really cool to disobey their parents' orders; Between 1994 and 2004, lots of women would like to have the same hair style with Rachel while men tend to say "How are you doing" after Joey when they meet an attractive girl.

Besides, movies and television can create a few new topics for us to talk about and think about, in this way making us behave
ourselves. I believe that a movie fan won't have prejudice on homo after one has seen "Brokeback Mountain", and "crash" will  
let us look into the problem of racial discrimination. Good movies and television can always draw public attention to some  
serious social problems which need to be solved without delaying.

Finally, mass media such as movies and television can determine individual's opinion about the whole society. If we see a lot cheating, violence everyday on TV, we may find it's really dangerous and terrible to live in this world. On the contrary, we can feel terrific to be under the sun. And of course, such feelings can influence our behaviors.

Based on the statements above we can safely come to the conclusion, movies and television will influence our behavior by  
making us mimic the stars' behaviors, creating new topics and determine our opinions about the society. If the influence is  
not expected to be negative, the government can focus on what kind of movies and television should be on show.
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沙发
发表于 2006-4-21 21:39:35 |只看该作者
Nowadays, movies and television can be found almost in every corner all over the world. There is no doubt that they have a great impact on people's behavior. But which aspects would they affect?(这儿有需要转折的意思吗?) Let me explain.

In the first place, we will copy the stars(stars是不能copy的吧?行为举止comportment倒可以复制.) in the movies and television because these stars are so welcomed by(是用这个介词吗?) the people around us that we want to be them eagerly therefore will imitate everything of (from)them unconsciously, including how they are addressed(the stlye of their dressing), the way they talk and so on. For instance, when James Dean had been a famous idol, juvenile in the USA began to wear Jeans and jackets and think it's really cool to disobey their parents' orders; Between 1994 and 2004, lots of women would like to have the same hair style with Rachel while(连词能否改成and因为原句并非是对比之意把) men tend to say "How are you doing" after Joey when they meet an attractive girl.

Besides, movies and television can create a few new topics for us to talk about and think about, in this way making us behave ourselves. I  believe that a movie fan won't have prejudice on homo after one has seen "Brokeback Mountain", and "crash" will  let us look into the problem of racial discrimination. Good movies and television can always draw public attention to some  serious social problems which need to be solved without delaying.

Finally, mass media such as movies and television can determine individual's opinion (opinions)about the whole society. If we see a lot cheating, violence everyday on TV, we may find it's really dangerous and terrible to live in this world. (Given that we see a lot of cheating and violence on TV,how dangerous and terrible we might think to live in this world 这样显得好些么?)On the contrary, we can feel terrific to be under the sun. And of course, such feelings can influence our behaviors.

Based on the statements above we can safely come to the conclusion, movies and television wil(一直都在影响,而不是将来在影响把)l influence our behavior by making us mimic the stars' behaviors, creating new topics and determine our opinions about the society(confused:两个动词是与making 对应还是和mimic对应?). If the influence is
not expected to be negative, the government can focus on what kind of movies and television should be on show. (最后这个总结句,好像又含有了另外一层意思)


*************
文章的结构不错。尤其是举例。很独特哦。:)
当人长高了
而世界扩大了
心还是一座游乐场
欢乐依然开放。

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板凳
发表于 2006-4-21 21:51:23 |只看该作者
另:第3段的句首
表强调或附加
英语中常常用besides this,moreover,furthermore来引导。

注意:少用as for/as to/besides。这三个词第一很口语化;
当人长高了
而世界扩大了
心还是一座游乐场
欢乐依然开放。

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地板
发表于 2006-4-22 13:29:20 |只看该作者
Nowadays, movies and television can be found almost in every corner all over the world. There is no doubt that they have a great impact on people's behavior. But which aspects would they affect(but???)? Let me explain.
In the first place, we will copy the stars (对象有误)in the movies and television because these stars are so welcomed by the  people around us that we want to be them(we want to be them ?有点chinglish) eagerly therefore will imitate everything of them unconsciously(everything 判断过于主观了), including how they  are addressed(dressed吧), the way they talk (in 不能省略吧)and so on. For instance, when James Dean had been a famous idol, juvenile in the USA began to wear Jeans and jackets and think it's really cool to disobey their parents' orders; Between 1994 and 2004, lots of women would like to have the same hair style with Rachel while men tend to say "How are you doing" after Joey when they meet an attractive girl. (例子举得很好)
Besides, movies and television can create a few new topics for us to talk about and think about, in this way making us behave ourselves(behave ourselves不太明白). I believe that a movie fan won't have prejudice on homo after one has seen "Brokeback Mountain", and "crash" will  
let us look into the problem of racial discrimination. Good movies and television can always draw public attention to some  serious social problems which need to be solved without delaying
Finally, mass media such as movies and television can determine (换个词吧,affect ,impact,influence)individual's opinion about the whole society. If we see a lot cheating, violence everyday on TV, we may find it's really dangerous and terrible to live in this world. On the contrary, we can feel terrific to be under the sun. And of course, such feelings can influence our behaviors.
Based on the statements above we can safely(smoothly?哪个好些啊) come to the conclusion, movies and television will influence our behavior by  making us mimic the stars' behaviors, creating new topics and determine our opinions about the society. If the influence is  not expected to be negative, the government can focus on what kind of movies and television should be on show.

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发表于 2006-4-22 13:54:47 |只看该作者

有空拍拍

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

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RE: 帮同学发贴:同题协作第三期,留链互拍 [修改]

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