欢迎拍砖！我的5T同主体写作第五六七期+topics 103, 142(分别在第11，12，25，61楼)

zhenzhen_163UID: 196150

Keep going girls. You guys are great!

lanccyUID: 2156906

原帖由 susan8940 于 2006-5-3 11:34 发表
看了第六期的，写的相当不错！
语言表达上尤其出色！
如果能多举些生动的例子就更完美了：）
楼主在表达上有什么经验？是背范文吗？我对这比较头疼，
剩下十天准备每天背个两篇

hoestly speaking，背诵向来是我的弱项！我到现在张红岩的词汇都没完整背过两遍，汗……说这话不知会否被砸死？

我这段时间经常挂在寄托上看大家的作文，积累表达和例子，就是这样。

举例子是我的弱项，我知道……

归来的虎子UID: 181060

How long a vacation should be given to students has always been a fierce discussion in the field of education. Some students prefer a long vacation each year for having sufficient time to organize their own schedule, while some others are the strong proponent of several short vacations throughout the year. As far as I am concerned, I would give the first priority to several short vacations based on the following reasons.

First and foremost, several short vacations spread around the year provides a delicate balance of the intense study and the amused entertainment. As the saying goes, all work and no play make Jack a dull boy. Students do not have to bear a long semester before having a seemingly endless vacation lasting one or two months, which in the end turns out to be boring as well, because of a lack of communication with schoolmates. Instead, they can fully occupy themselves in the academic studies for the notion that a short vacation will be rewarded to relax not far away. In this way, the qualities of both study and recreation are improved significantly.

Matching the first reason is that several short vacations offer a precious period of timefor the refinement of schoolwork. As is known to us, to read without reflecting is just like eating without digesting.:handshake The incessant intensive study in the school cannot guarantee affluent time for students to review what they have learnt, not to mention to consolidate them, which as a result, forms an impediment on their way to further study. So the short vacation, such as the 7-day May Day Holiday, is a good opportunity to review and after all refine their schoolwork.

One long vacation each year, however, has its own blessings which I have to admit. Self-disciplined can fully utilize the time for internship to put their academic knowledge into practice. Others can use this time to broaden their eyesight by traveling around. Nonetheless, too long a vacation always gives rise to the obsolescence of study and leads some students to waste their time in playing video games or idling around.

To put into a nutshell, since the merits of several short vocations throughout the year outweigh those of a long one each year, I fervently advocate the proposal of the former one.

GOOD!实在觉得没啥好改得了，lanccy不好意思

这样文章如果都4分还是在good day, 那我只有:L

[ 本帖最后由 归来的虎子 于 2006-5-3 18:44 编辑 ]

lanccyUID: 2156906

他用成新托的标准了，放心

逆风飞羊UID: 182440

我觉得猫猫的作文进展的很不错啊 GX一下.
首先说一下时间的问题,因为你没有写明用的时间,所以提醒你一下,另外你的字数380,没有超,但是属于比较多的情况,考场上要把握好哦.
文章的语言我觉得还是不错的,观点也很好，提醒一下的是有的地方给人感觉有点点罗嗦,比如B1和B2里面. :)

lanccyUID: 2156906

谢谢羊羊！时间是我最头痛的问题

zhenzhen_163UID: 196150

Let’s face it, there is NO way you can improve your writing skill between now and the 13th so much that it will impact your writing score. So let us just relax and maybe find some time to spend with your family and friends.

What you might want to do is continue to read some English writings everyday, spot-check your grammar book (I hope you have one), write a diary and generally take it easy. Don’t kill yourself trying to prepare for the test. It will only backfire and prevent you from getting the score you deserve.

最后这几天最重要的是培养情绪，平和的情绪，不要再玩命做题、写论文，听我的没错（我托福考满分 ;P），祝大家好运。

lanccyUID: 2156906

要是在家就好了。一个人可怜兮兮在宿舍成天对着电脑……唉，这七天下来肯定老很多，我的青春年华……

mysteryfigureUID: 2184551

103. In your opinion, what is the most important characteristic (for example, honesty, intelligence, a sense of humor) that a person can have to be successful in life? Use specific reasons and examples from your experience to explain your answer. When you write your answer, you are not limited to the examples listed in the question.
sorry,昨天一整天没上网

A person’s characteristic is a vital element in determining one’s success in his/her life. When asked about my opinion, I will positively give the first priority（好） to honesty as （it is)the most important characteristic for one to be successful. My choice is based on the following reasons.

First and foremost,(这个表达法怪怪的，不知道可以吗） an honest man can easily earn the credit from his boss, and thus wins a better chance of promotion. Being a supervisor of an enterprise, the boss cannot manage everything himself. What he need is a reliablel employee who he can authorize full power to take charge of a certain department. Therefore, if one is ambitious to pursue a high position, honesty is a crucial characteristic that he can take advantage of to catch the eyeballs(好) of his boss.（末句最好改成被动语态）看了第一段我明白为什么你说我的例子不太好了，毕竟是高中生，那么好的例子竟然想不到:L

Besides getting the faith of his boss, an honest man can also win the trust of his colleagues so as to get along with them more comfortably. No one likes to work in a place filled with hostile atmosphere, encountering other’s cold eyes and bearing other’s aspersion. To avoid this embarrassing situation, one should act as honest as possible, to eliminate the suspicion holding by his colleagues towards him. Only in this way, can one make possible the close cooperation with others in the work.

Last but not the least, honest as one is, can he be accredited by his clients to build to solid relationship to extend his business. If one deceives his clients for money, maybe he can make a fortune temporarily; however this will not last long. His poor client would possibly complain to others about his ill behavior so that people will suspect his integrity, leading to a downfall of his business.

According to the three reasons listed above, an honest person is believable from the perspectives of his boss, colleagues and clients, to grant him a better chance of promotion, a more favoring career and greater development in business. In this sense, it is sagacious to conclude that honesty is a cardinal characteristic for one willingto be successful in life.
第一个例子很到位，后两个有点重，我认为本文可与我的同主题互相借鉴例子，或许会更有说服力（惭愧:L）。
您的词汇虽不能说登峰造极，不过已很值得我学习了
其实要短时间写出这样的文章，真得很不容易:handshake
若有空，请看看我的topic162
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ge=1&highlight=
很早写的

[ 本帖最后由 mysteryfigure 于 2006-5-5 02:43 编辑 ]

mysteryfigureUID: 2184551

上了寄托方知世上还有模版之物，我想了解一下模版究竟有多大的作用，如何学习模版？

mysteryfigureUID: 2184551

同主题第六期的评论
I just cannot put it down.
本想把我的也传上来的，但看到猫猫的佳作，不禁觉得自己的黯然失色，故也作罢。本文虽也有不足，但已非凡夫俗子所可望其项背了，倒想请教猫猫得以如此进步迅猛的独门秘诀。

mysteryfigureUID: 2184551

虽说好，但仔细推敲还是有很大的改进空间，以吾拙见抛砖引玉

How long a vacation should be given to students has always been a fierce discussion in the field of education. Some students prefer a long vacation each year for having sufficient time to organize their own schedule, while some others are the strong proponents of several short vacations throughout the year. As far as I am concerned,  the first priority will be given to several short vacations on the basis of  the following reasons.

First and foremost, I doubt if there is such a saying several short vacations spreaded around the year provides a delicate balance between the intense study and the amusing entertainment.未免有redundancy的感觉 As the saying goes, all work and no play make Jack a dull boy. Students do not have to bear a long semester before having a seemingly endless vacation lasting one or two months, which in the end turns out to be boring as well  because of a lack of communication with schoolmates. Instead, they can fully occupy themselves in the academic studies for the notion that a short vacation will be rewarded to relax not toofar away. In this way, the qualities of both study and recreation are improved significantly.

Matching the first reason is that several short vacations offer a precious period for the refinement of schoolwork. As known to us, to read without reflecting is just like eating without digesting. The incessant intensive study in the school cannot guarantee adequate time for students to review what they have learnt, not to mention  consolidating them, which as a result, come out to be an impediment on their way of further study. So the short vacation, such as the 7-day May Day Holiday, is a good opportunity to review and after all refine their schoolwork.

One long vacation each year, however, has its own blessings 不当which I have to admit.这句话的语气不太对the Self-disciplined can appropriately utilize the time for internship to apply their academic knowledge into practice. Others can use this time to broaden their eyesight by traveling around. Nonetheless(nevertheless,还是？）, too long a vacation always gives rise to the obsolescence of study and misleads some students to waste their time in playing video games or idling around.

To put into a nutshell, since the merits of several short vocations throughout the year outweigh those of a long one each year, I fervently advocate the proposal of the former one.

[ 本帖最后由 mysteryfigure 于 2006-5-5 21:58 编辑 ]

lanccyUID: 2156906

mysteryfigure的评论实在承受不起

As a matter of fact, you're doing quite well as a senior high school student! You possess several merits which I also have to learn from. Belive me, I don't like to flatter others, but at the first sight of your education degree, I was really shocked! Quite excellent as you are!

Some reply:
1. about "first and foremost", of course, this expression does exist, it just means firstly, or the most crucial one

2. about "nonetheless" & "nevertheless", both these two words are correct, and they have the same meanings

3. about the words I used in the articles, some of them were directly used during the first time I composed in the period of 30 mins, some of which were learnt from your compositions, others were refined later. So, you know, don't praise me like that. But one thing to remind, it seems not so good to use all these "big" words, as a guy told me these days, who claimed that he got a full mark in TOEFL, because he said that we cannot use these words appropriately as the native speakers do, which as a result may lead the rater to give you a lower score than you actually deserve. His saying, made me rather upset these days, since the teachers in New Oriental School told me just the opposite, and I was greatly affected by their teching, as you can see in my article. I don't know what to do.

4. about the timing, this is the factor I worry most. I always write overtime even if I wrote the outline before I actually get down to writing. And I wonder if you can give me some tips

5. about “模板”. I think it is a good instrument if you can use it appropriately. And in fact, I usually use them in the introduction and the conclusion, as you can see.

Thanks very much!

mysteryfigureUID: 2184551

谢谢猫猫。
犹豫再三，还是把我的topic 143 贴上来献丑，正是因为不太好才渴望大家的指正
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

[ 本帖最后由 mysteryfigure 于 2006-5-5 22:03 编辑 ]

mysteryfigureUID: 2184551

about timing: this is also an emergent factor that i am worrying about.as i think one'swritting proficiency cannot be improved greatly in a short period,the very thing we should do now is to hasten our speed.the only way to make one write more swiftly is to practise more,as far as i know.so i am writing crazily these days,considering i have not written a single essay a few weeks ago.
for another question,as you have said, that guy "claimed" to be a full mark winner.his words is just for reference, not the determination.what we should do is to trace our own goal and achieve it regardless of any distraction.