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[未归类] 欢迎拍砖!我的5T同主体写作第五六七期+topics 103, 142(分别在第11,12,25,61楼) [复制链接]

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发表于 2006-5-6 12:38:53 |显示全部楼层

同主题写作第7期!

这次完全用plain words来写,不知道是什么效果?限时成功!不过字数满少的,才336,因为B1写到一般全体擦掉重写了,汗,这样还能按时写完,都开始佩服自己了:lol

Topic169. People listen to music for different reasons and at different times. Why is music important to many people? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

Music, perhaps one of the most brilliant things bestowed by God, has been an indispensable part of human life. Ranging from symphony to ballad, from classical music to pop one, music seems to appear everywhere in our life; even the sound of birds can be an euphonic song enjoyed by people. Why do people cherish music so much? From my point of view, the following reasons may serve as good explanations.

To begin with, music is a dose of medicine that can reduce stress and enhance concentration. An experiment conducted by the psychologists from Harvard University is a good case in point. The experiment showed that when surgeons solved puzzles with music around them, especially the music chosen by themselves, they could accomplish the task better than as usual. The reason was obvious. Music can reduce the stress when people are highly nervous by stimulating the brain to relieve a chemical into the blood, and in the same way the concentration is enhanced.

In addition, music binds together people that would otherwise have no common language. In fact, music is an international language understood by any peoples. When two strangers meet for the first time, they may be embarrassed at the thought of having nothing to talk about; however when the topic changes to music, they will find strikingly that they have so much in common. The song they both cherish, and the singer they both appreciate, build a bridge between them for better communication.

Last but not the least, music helps people to probe into other cultures. Music, being fused into the culture form generation to generation, is the best representative of a distinctive culture. The African music, different from the traditional European one, revealing the wild life to the rest of the world, has attracted many people longing for the natural life style.

To put into a nutshell, music is important to many people because it is a medicine to reduce stress and enhance concentration, a bridge of connecting people and a mirror to look into different culture.

[ 本帖最后由 lanccy 于 2006-5-6 18:29 编辑 ]

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发表于 2006-5-6 13:00:45 |显示全部楼层
自己顶一下

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发表于 2006-5-6 14:56:15 |显示全部楼层
pop one?可以这样说?

HU的例子是阅读里的吧,lz很强

peoples -> people

有人告诉我last but not least有点口语化,我自己也不清楚...

European one - >总觉得怪怪的,要不those European ?

life to -> life of
我见青山多妩媚,料青山,见我应如是——上善若水,过而不留。

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发表于 2006-5-6 15:18:36 |显示全部楼层
两个地方的one都是想指代music,否则感觉重复,不知可以这样用否?

例子仿佛是某个听力段子,隐约记得

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发表于 2006-5-6 15:19:43 |显示全部楼层
reveal sth to sb
要不改成:reveal the life to the rest of the world 好了

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发表于 2006-5-6 15:47:44 |显示全部楼层
Music, perhaps one of the most brilliant things bestowed by God, has been an indispensable part of human life. Ranging from symphony to ballad, from classical music to pop one, music seems to appear everywhere in our life; even the sound of birds can be an euphonic song enjoyed by people. Why do people cherish music so much? From my point of view, the following reasons may serve as good explanation(S).

To begin with, music is a dose of medicine that can reduce stress and enhance concentration.:handshake学习 An experiment conducted by the psychologists from Harvard University is a good case in point. The experiment showed that when surgeons solved puzzles with music around them, especially the music chosen by themselves, they could accomplish the task better than as usual. The reason was obvious. Music can reduce the stress when people are highly nervous by stimulating the brain to relieve a chemical into the blood, and in the same way the concentration is enhanced.

The song they both cherish,(这之间不用个and吗) the singer they both appreciate, build a bridge between them for better communication.

楼主的观点都很不错呢,句子更是没得说了,学习
我的,帮看看吧,手还生·······
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

[ 本帖最后由 vigilwang 于 2006-5-6 15:50 编辑 ]
冲!!

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发表于 2006-5-6 18:28:07 |显示全部楼层
是哦,这种低级语法错误,谢谢vigilwang 提醒

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发表于 2006-5-6 20:38:32 |显示全部楼层
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

Topic 79,写完才知道自己几斤几两~

lz有时间帮忙看一看

[ 本帖最后由 归来的虎子 于 2006-5-6 20:40 编辑 ]
我见青山多妩媚,料青山,见我应如是——上善若水,过而不留。

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发表于 2006-5-6 23:26:21 |显示全部楼层
我觉得one还是用music 代好
鸟叫的那句可以提前更加连贯
mirror 改成window 更好
三段感觉一段比一段短,可能是时间问题吧
我觉得本文至少5.5 分,可能是因为我比较欣赏词汇好的文章吧
我真的感觉猫猫的水平不得了,尤其是词汇

有空帮我看看我的文章哦

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发表于 2006-5-7 02:41:53 |显示全部楼层
any peoples  s啊...
they will find strikingly that they have so much in common  in that会不会好点 反正语法里面常出IN THAT MM的作文又常用阅读语法的词汇 譬如 strikingly...
The song they both cherish cherish前面用过了 真讲究用词多元化的话 用 enjoy或者
favor吧?!~
最后一句用个 NOT ONLY A AND B  BUT ALSO C 多好吖
个人看法``~

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发表于 2006-5-7 23:37:14 |显示全部楼层
原帖由 mysteryfigure 于 2006-5-6 23:26 发表
我觉得one还是用music 代好
鸟叫的那句可以提前更加连贯
mirror 改成window 更好
三段感觉一段比一段短,可能是时间问题吧
我觉得本文至少5.5 分,可能是因为我比较欣赏词汇好的文章吧
我真的感觉猫猫的水平 ...



这篇的词汇还叫好啊?!:L
鸟叫的那句提到那啊

其实我已经改过了,参考了一下虎子的,那就发上来吧

Music, perhaps one of the most brilliant things bestowed by God, has been an indispensable part of human life. Ranging from symphony to ballad, from classical jazz to pop R&B, music seems to appear everywhere in our life; even the sound of birds can be an euphonic song enjoyed by people. Why do people cherish music so much? From my point of view, the following reasons may serve as good explanations.

To begin with, music is a dose of medicine that can reduce stress and enhance concentration. An experiment conducted by the psychologists from Harvard University is a good case in point. The experiment showed that when surgeons solved puzzles with music around them, especially the music chosen by themselves, they could accomplish the task better than as usual. The reason was obvious. Music can reduce the stress when people are highly nervous by stimulating the brain to relieve a chemical into the blood, and in the same way the concentration is enhanced.

In addition, music binds together people that would otherwise have no common language. In fact, music is an international language understood by any peoples, building a bridge between strangers for better communication. By enjoying a chapter of solo, a resonant feeling of grief may arise in the hearts of the two listeners. Touched by the emotion, they may be reminded of their own sorrow, which impulses them to find an outlet to confide. Thus, spark is generated and the hearts merge.

Last but not the least, music helps people to probe into other cultures. Music, being fused into the culture form generation to generation, is the best representative of a distinctive culture. By listening to “The Moment” performed by Kenny G, we can feel the tender side of the American people under the aggressive characteristics; by listening to “For Jasmine” created by the masses, we can reach the romantic and energetic inner world of the Chinese people.

To put into a nutshell, being not only a medicine to reduce stress and enhance concentration, and a bridge of connecting people but also a window to look into different cultures, music is important to many people.

[ 本帖最后由 lanccy 于 2006-5-7 23:39 编辑 ]

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发表于 2006-5-7 23:42:07 |显示全部楼层
原帖由 olive8310 于 2006-5-7 02:41 发表
any peoples  s啊...
they will find strikingly that they have so much in common  in that会不会好点 反正语法里面常出IN THAT MM的作文又常用阅读语法的词汇 譬如 strikingly...
The song they both cheris ...



in that是“因为”的意思,用在这里怎么用啊?

最后一个意见很不错:handshake谢谢

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发表于 2006-5-9 19:25:23 |显示全部楼层
555好崇拜楼主啊
take ielts not just for fun!

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发表于 2006-5-11 21:27:52 |显示全部楼层
我见青山多妩媚,料青山,见我应如是——上善若水,过而不留。

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RE: 欢迎拍砖!我的5T同主体写作第五六七期+topics 103, 142(分别在第11,12,25,61楼) [修改]

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欢迎拍砖!我的5T同主体写作第五六七期+topics 103, 142(分别在第11,12,25,61楼)
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