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[i习作temp] Issue228 [黄金十二宫]第二次作业(5.26) [复制链接]

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发表于 2006-5-26 20:22:03 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Issue228
"The best way to teach-whether as an educator, employer, or parent-is to praise positive actions and ignore negative ones."

A. People may not be as good as you tell them they are, but they will try harder
thereafter.
B. Sharp, insulting and open criticism usually arouses animosity and confrontation, which
will eventually block the communication process.
C. However, completely ignoring people’s negative actions equals irresponsibility.

Word:  577       time: 3hours

终于搞定了这片issue。不容易啊!对于那句有问题的话,谢谢渡渡等人的帮忙修改。
Ps:好久没有写issue了,加上还没看过范文,所以这篇文章的问题多多,还望大家不吝批评指正。

Human beings having entered an age of information explosion, education , as a driving force and a cornerstone to a nation’s future development, obviously plays an indispensable and irreplaceable role in modern society. At the same time, what is the best for teaching—whether as an educator, employer, or parent—is to praise positive actions and ignore negative ones, have become a widely discussed topic. I am persuaded in my own mind that the best way to teach—whether as an educator—is to praise positive actions and not to ignore negative ones.

A clear definition of the best way to teach, to my point of view, appears to be necessary before we launch a full discussion. In fact, how to define the best way to teach is still a problem. As we all known, praising is far more effective in persuading people to improve performance, but completely ignoring people’s negative actions is not a best way for teaching.

In the first place, people may not be as good as you tell them they are, but they will try harder thereafter. Since it is impossible for people own ideas. It is accepted by all of us, once we got fail on doing something, we may try to do it better, but if we got fails some times we would drop it out. So it is therefore essential that some praising should be given to them. Saying praising is an easy thing for the educator, but it is a important thing to the students. Praising positive actions will enhance their power when they do the work.

In the second place, as it is known to all, sharp, insulting and open criticism usually arouses animosity and confrontation, which will eventually block the communication process. Therefore, we have to think clearly, when we say the negative actions to the people. Maybe our saying will hurt the people which we does not want to hurt. Moreover, the saying of the negative actions will bring many problems which we can not think. Such as, hurting people’s ambition, making people do things more audacity.

However, completely ignoring people’s negative actions equals irresponsibility. Among other illustrations of its truth which might be cited, with a thing happened on myself will furnish a cogent example.It happened a long time before, when I was at grade four in the middle school. At that time, I often got very high grades, so sometimes I would work lazily. But after an exam, my grades become lower and lower. Although this phenomenon covered by my teacher, and he told that to me. However, I did not pay attention to it. Then, I failed in the last exam which is important to me. Although I recognized the serious problem, it is to late for me. In fact, if the teacher said the problem to me more solemnly, I would not ignore my negative actions. So, completely ignoring people’s negative actions is not a best way for teaching.

From what has been mentioned previously, although the teacher as an educator, employer, or parent who choose the teaching way by using praising positive actions and ignoring negative ones can get a good result, we should not ignore that negative ones also play an important role in the teaching way. So the best way  to teach-whether as an educator, employer, or parent-is to praise positive actions and pay attention to the negative actions. Only this can make the students get better and better.
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沙发
发表于 2006-5-26 20:25:56 |只看该作者
下午跑到北大去了,所以。。。
艾,北京的堵车真的郁闷,什么时候才能不赌呢!还有该死的天气,来北京3年多了,没见过北京下几场雨,结果这几天。天天下雨,真的晕死!

这次作文写得不好,希望大家多指正。下周开始上ccer。所以。。。
以后一定努力写!

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板凳
发表于 2006-5-29 19:07:32 |只看该作者
Human beings having entered an age of information explosion, education , as a driving force and a cornerstone to a nation’s future development, obviously plays an indispensable and irreplaceable role in modern society. (第一句明显是套话,教育都能用,这两句之间是不是应该加上一句过渡,使衔接自然些?)At the same time, what is the best for teaching—whether as an educator, employer, or parent—is to praise positive actions and ignore negative ones, have become a widely discussed topic. I am persuaded in my own mind that the best way to teach—whether as an educator—is to praise positive actions and not to ignore negative ones.

A clear definition of the best way to teach, to my point of view, appears to be necessary before we launch a full discussion. In fact, how to define the best way to teach is still a problem. As we all known, praising is far more effective in persuading people to improve performance, but completely ignoring people’s negative actions is not a best way for teaching.(有见解啊,中间还加一段下定义。。。)

In the first place, people may not be as good as you tell them they are, but they will try harder thereafter. Since it is impossible for people own ideas.(since怎么单独成段?前面是,号?) It is accepted by all of us(It is known to all that或It is widely held the belief that感觉好些), once we got fail on doing something, we may try to do it better, but if we got fails some times we would drop it out. So it is therefore essential that some praising should be given to them. Saying praising is an easy thing for the educator, but it is a (an。。。)important thing to the students. Praising positive actions will enhance their power(passion or enthusiasm) when they do the work.

In the second place, as it is known to all, sharp, insulting and open criticism usually arouses animosity and confrontation, which will eventually block the communication process. Therefore, we have to think clearly, when(before) we say the negative actions to the people. Maybe our saying will hurt the people which we does(does??。。。) not want to hurt. Moreover, the saying of(太中文化了吧?) the negative actions will bring many problems which we can not think. Such as, hurting people’s ambition, making people do things more audacity.

However, completely ignoring people’s negative actions equals irresponsibility. Among other illustrations of its truth which might be cited, with a thing happened on myself will furnish a cogent example. It happened a long time before, when I was at grade four in the middle school(出现在这啊:),我觉得这有点罗嗦a long time before,when I was at grade four,后面还有个At that time。。。3个表示时间的。。。太多了). At that time, I often got very high grades, so sometimes I would work lazily. (这之间不是转折关系吧?Therefore或Naturally)But after an exam, my grades become lower and lower. Although this phenomenon covered by my teacher, and he told that to me. However, I did not pay attention to it. Then, I failed in the last exam which is important to me. Although I recognized the serious problem, it is to(too。。。。) late for me. In fact, if the teacher said(said不如explain好) the problem to me more solemnly, I would not ignore my negative actions. So, completely ignoring people’s negative actions is not a best way for teaching.

From what has been mentioned previously, although the teacher as an educator, employer, or parent who choose the teaching way by using praising positive actions and ignoring negative ones can get a good result, we should not ignore that negative ones also play an important role in the teaching way. So the best way to teach-whether as an educator, employer, or parent-is to praise positive actions and pay attention to the negative actions. Only this can make the students get better and better.
文章的思路还是不错的,但语法错误太多,尤其是会犯很太明显的语法错误,这个一定要避免。不然很影响文章整体的效果。有时候感觉用词过于中文化。有的句子很精彩,但有的句子却又很普通。孙远说过:写文章最好不要出现这种情况,会让人觉得是背了范文,把例子和背的精彩句子硬拉上去的,很不自然。文章的整体性很重要,最好别让人一会觉得是5,6分作文,一会又觉得是3,4分的水平。
个人意见,仅供参考拉:)

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RE: Issue228 [黄金十二宫]第二次作业(5.26) [修改]

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Issue228 [黄金十二宫]第二次作业(5.26)
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