argument137 义无反顾小组第十五次作业

kittywen_16UID: 2135347

OPIC: ARGUMENT137 - The following appeared in an editorial in the Mason City newspaper.

"At present, Mason City residents seldom use the nearby Mason River for any kind of recreational activity, even though surveys of the region's residents consistently rank water sports (swimming, fishing, and boating) as a favorite form of recreation. Since there have been complaints about the quality of the water in the river, residents must be avoiding the river because they think that it is not clean enough. But that situation is about to change: the agency responsible for rivers in our region has announced plans to clean up Mason River. Therefore, recreational use of the river is likely to increase, so the Mason City council will need to increase its budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands along the Mason River."
WORDS: 323          TIME: 上午 12:30:00          DATE: 2006-5-30

                       
               

(1)        调查的可靠性：是否具有代表性；
(2)        该机构宣称将清理河道，是否真的能付诸实际；
(3)        公共设施是否需要改进


In the argument the author persuades the council to increase its budget on the improvement of the publicly owned lands along the Mason River. He cited a survey as the support to the conclusion. In addition, his conclusion also rests on the evidence that the local agency, which is responsible for the river, has announced plans to clean up river. Plausible as the editorial seems, there are some logical flaws leaves to be questioned after we take some close analysis.

Firstly, the survey on which the argument based on is too vague to be informative. On the one hand, the arguer did not tell us how the survey is conducted. If the responds are limited within a certain area, where residents ' favorite sports are water sports, we can't apply the result of the survey to the whole city. Unless the arguer can provide evidence to prove that the samples are large enough and are selected randomly, can we regarded the survey as a support to the conclusion.

Secondly, the mere fact that the agency had announced they had planned to clean up the river did not follow that they will take actual action. Common sense tells us, there is many uncertain factors affect the decision before it turns to reality. If the cost overweight the profit, it is highly possible that the agency will give up this plan in the end.

Last but not the least, we are not informed how well the publicly owned lands along the river. Is it necessary to be improved? In the editorial, the arguer only tells us the local residents avoided the river because of its bad quality. He didn't provide any information about the condition of the publicly owned lands. If there have been enough devices for recreational activity, improving the budget will be rather a waste.

In sum, it is obvious for the council to get a detailed investigation before they increase its budget.

[ 本帖最后由 kittywen_16 于 2006-5-31 07:04 编辑 ]

kittywen_16UID: 2135347

提綱：
1．        質疑管理部門是否能夠解決河流問題(对这一点，我只考虑到他们是否愿意付诸实际，没有想到是否有这个能力解决。)a)        部門本身的效率
b)        河水的污染程度
2．        質疑是否需要改善公共土地
a)        河水治理尚需時間
b)        公共土地它用的可能
3．        質疑居民是否願意去MR進行娛樂活動（我觉得还有一点：居民不去那里娱乐是否是因为河水水质不好。也许M河不适合这些水上运动，即使水清了，公共设施改善了，居民也不一定会去。）
In this editorial, the author contends that the recreational use of Mason River is likely to increase and he suggests that the Mason City council needs to increase its budget for the improvements to the publicly owned lands along the river. However, after a carefully examine, I find the assertion of the author is specious on several grounds.

To begin with, the author provides no evidence that the agency responsible for rivers in the region could be able to handle the problems for Mason River. Firstly, common sense informs us, it is easy to damage the environment but hard to recover it. Therefore, it might be difficult for the agency to clear up the Mason River with a low efficiency. Another cause we need consider at here, the author does not mention the degree of the pollution of the river, if it is quite heavy, and then might cost decades to do the recovering. Lacking these or other considerations, the author of this editorial is lack the credibility to support that the agency will change the recent situation about Mason River.

Second, even assuming that agency could handle the problems of the river; it also lacks the credibility for the author to contend that the Mason City council needs to increase the budget for improvements to the public areas along the river. On one hand, it might be a long time for the recovering of the Mason River, and that will be no sense to suggest government to increase the budget at present9【现在增加预算，不见得现在就投资吧】. On another hand, such publicly owned lands might be【have been】 planed to use for some purpose other than recreational use. For example, it might be use for the industry purpose, and therefore it is no need to be improved by city council but might to be done by particular factory owner. Absent the clear evidence to support it, the author's contention that to increase the budget to improve the public area along the river is simply unjustified.

Last but not least, the author's position that while the Mason River once been recovered; the recreational use of the river will be increase. Yet the author fails to provide the assurances that the residents of Mason would like to use the river for the recreational activities. They might already get somewhere else for those water sports, like the interior swimming pools, the lakes in nearby area, or the beaches around the city, etc. Lacking such evidence the author cannot reasonably conclude that Mason River could be possible use for the recreational activities.

In sum, as it stands the argument of this editorial is wholly unpersuasive. To bolster it the author must show that the agency who in charge of the rivers in the region could be able to handle the problems of the Mason River. To better assess the argument it would be useful to know whether the publicly owned lands need to be improved by the city council, and when the river once been recovered, if the residents in Mason willing to go there for the recreational activities.【我觉政府投资不见得非要在河水变清之后】
(509 words)
总结：语言上基本没什么问题，限时能写出这样，PFPF！观点方面，就是抓重点，分主次。继续加油。

glxingUID: 2156425

TOPIC: ARGUMENT137 - The following appeared in an editorial in the Mason City newspaper.

"At present, Mason City residents seldom use the nearby Mason River for any kind of recreational activity, even though surveys of the region's residents consistently rank water sports (swimming, fishing, and boating) as a favorite form of recreation. Since there have been complaints about the quality of the water in the river, residents must be avoiding the river because they think that it is not clean enough. But that situation is about to change: the agency responsible for rivers in our region has announced plans to clean up Mason River. Therefore, recreational use of the river is likely to increase, so the Mason City council will need to increase its budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands along the Mason River."


The author thinks that the Mason City council should increase its budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands along the Mason River. The line of reasoning is that the author thinks the Mason River would be cleaned by the agency in the near future and the recreational use of the river is likely to increase. However, close scrutiny reveals the author has made several mistakes.

To begin with, the author does not give any enough evidence to support the thoughts that residents do not use the river due to the quality of water in river. Although the author cites a survey in order to demonstrate that residents do not take part in their favourite water sports because of the poor quality of water, it is quite possible that the so-called complaints about the quality of water are just confined to small number of people and most residents does not worry about the quality of water and the reason why they do not take part in water sports is that the present season is not suitable.

Secondly, even if the reason is the quality of water, the author could not guaranteen that the final result of cleanning up the river. Firstly, the agency just announced plans but they did not give any clear information about the projcet. Have they prepared enough money for the project? Will they take real actions as they promised? If not, the following increase of budget in Mason City council would be nothing but a waste of money. Secondly, to what extent the river can be cleaned up is open to doubt. As we all know, it is easy to damage the environment but hard to recover it. Maybe after cleaning the qualtiy of water is still not able to meet the requirement of recreational activity and the residents do not use the Mason River as well.

Finally, even assuming that agency could handle the problems of the river, the author also fails to convince us that the Mason City council should increase its budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands. On the one hand, it is possible that the publicly owned lands have been good enough to meet the requirement of water sports, and thert is no need to increase the budget for the improvements. On the other hand, it might be a long time before the Mason River is cleaned up, so it does not makes any sense to increase the budget now. The budget can be used for education or medical care system, which are more important than the improvement of the publicly owned lands.

In sum, the author's statement does not convince us as it stands. To strengthen it, the author should firstly ensure that the quality of water in river is the key factor for the decrease of popularity of water sports and then provides enough evidences to demonstrate that the agency can clean up the river as expected. It is better to take the financial budget of Mason City council into consideration before getting the conclusion.

[ 本帖最后由 glxing 于 2006-6-2 11:19 编辑 ]

yuviUID: 2169411

第十五次作业互改顺序:

小蜗牛-->kitty--->yuvi-->小蜗牛

yuviUID: 2169411

小蜗牛的作业~~
我们现在交作业的人真的很少阿..所以作业才会不断重复被同一个人改哈~~

The author thinks that the Mason City council should increase its budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands along the Mason River. The line of reasoning is that the author thinks the Mason River would be cleaned by the agency in the near future and the recreational use of the river is likely to increase. However, close scrutiny reveals the author has made several mistakes.

First of all, the author blindly thinks that it is because of worrying about the quality of the water in the river that  residents seldom use the nearby Mason River for any kind of recreational activity.（这里一点就是我写完之后忽然觉悟到的，汗~~~ 如果考试的时候也是写完了才发现自己被题目绕进去了怎么办，后面不是要郁闷死了？？）Although the author cites a survey as evidence in which the water sports are ranked as a favorite form of recreation, it is quite possible that the season is not suitable for recreational activity in water now but rather the quality of water in the river.（我没有写这点，所以学习了~~）

Secondly, even if the reason is about the quality of water, the author could not guranteen（guarantee） that the final result of cleanning （clean）up the river. Firstly, the agency just announced the relevant plans, do they take real steps as they promised? Can they prepare enough money for the project? Secondly,  to what extent the river can be cleaned up is open to doubt. Maybe the qualtiy of water is still not able to meet the demand of  recreational activity and the residents seldom use the Mason River as well.（恩，分两小分点支持自己的观点—-河流是否能够被清理干净，不错。就是感觉论证的过程可以再完善一下，只用几个问题好像不太够）
Finally, the author thinks that the Mason City council should increase its budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands as along as the Mason River is cleaned up, but he or she does not consider the necessarity of such rise of budget. It is possible that the publicly owned lands has been good enough to attract people and there is no need to increase budget.（同意） It is also possible that the Mason City council now is in need of budget to develope education, health assurance and so on, which are more important than the improvement of the publicly owned lands.（这里又是我没想到的，学习ing）

In sum, the author's statement does not convince us as it stands. To strengthen it, the author should firstly ensure that the quality of water in river is the critical reason for the decrease of popularity of water sports and then provides enough evidences to demonstrate that the agency can clean up the river as expected. It is better to take the financial budget of  Mason City counci into consideration before getting the conclusion.


总结：
总体论证挺不错的，几个论点都提的比较好，安排也挺合理。
中间的那一段似乎可以再充实一下。然后开头和结尾都写得比较饱满。但是也显示出论证段落显得字数有点少了。恩，总的来说,如果是限时就很不错，学习中。。

kittywen_16UID: 2135347

评点一下蜗牛的这一点："it is quite possible that the season is not suitable for recreational activity in water now but rather the quality of water in the river"季节不合适只是一年中的某一段时间不合适，不代表不能在M河上进行水上娱乐运动。

glxingUID: 2156425

原帖由 kittywen_16 于 2006-6-2 09:25 发表
评点一下蜗牛的这一点："it is quite possible that the season is not suitable for recreational activity in water now but rather the quality of water in the river"季节不合适只是一年中的某一段 ...

kitty说的也是，我看可不可以这样补充一句：文中说 at present, residents seldom use the nearby Mason River for any kind of recreational activity 有可能现在是寒冷的冬季，人们不愿意出来 fishing, swimming,boating，到了合适的季节，人们还是会选择水上运动作为娱乐。

glxingUID: 2156425

咦，kitty做的漂亮的动态标题我怎么粘贴不上呢？怎么做的阿。
小蜗牛批改kitty的
OPIC: ARGUMENT137 - The following appeared in an editorial in the Mason City newspaper.

"At present, Mason City residents seldom use the nearby Mason River for any kind of recreational activity, even though surveys of the region's residents consistently rank water sports (swimming, fishing, and boating) as a favorite form of recreation. Since there have been complaints about the quality of the water in the river, residents must be avoiding the river because they think that it is not clean enough. But that situation is about to change: the agency responsible for rivers in our region has announced plans to clean up Mason River. Therefore, recreational use of the river is likely to increase, so the Mason City council will need to increase its budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands along the Mason River."

                       
               

(1)        调查的可靠性：是否具有代表性；
(2)        该机构宣称将清理河道，是否真的能付诸实际；
(3)        公共设施是否需要改进


In the argument the author persuades the council to increase its budget on the improvement of the publicly owned lands along the Mason River. He cited a survey as the support to of the conclusion. In addition, his conclusion also rests on the evidence that the local agency, which is responsible for the river, has announced plans to clean up river. Plausible as the editorial seems, there are some logical flaws leaves to be questioned after we take some close analysis.这句话看起来像模版，kitty，慎用啊

Firstly, the survey on which the argument based on is too vague to be informative. On the one hand, the arguer did not tell us how the survey is conducted. If the responds are limited within a certain area, where residents ' favorite sports are water sports, we can't apply the result of the survey to the whole city. Unless the arguer can provide evidence to prove that the samples are large enough and are selected randomly, can we regarded the survey as a support to the conclusion. 在这篇argument里，调查是作为让步语气的，这一点不同于其他，所以如果你直接攻击调查的话，不是不行，但不能作为主要的火力攻击点

Secondly, the mere fact that the agency had announced they had planned to clean up the river did not follow that they will take actual action. Common sense tells us, there is many uncertain factors affect the decision before it turns to reality. If the cost overweight the profit, it is highly possible that the agency will give up this plan in the end. 想的不错，但是写的太担保了，展开写

Last but not the least, we are not informed how well the publicly owned lands along the river. Is it necessary to be improved? In the editorial,用这个词可以吗？ the arguer only tells us the local residents avoided the river because of its bad quality. He didn't provide any information about the condition of the publicly owned lands. 我没想到，学习If there have been enough devices for recreational activity, improving the budget will be rather a waste.

In sum, it is obvious for the council to get a detailed investigation before they increase its budget.少了点，如果限时的话，可以理解，回去别忘了自己再补充阿

kitty这几次总是按时交作业，还总是第一个，对她应该严重表扬:victory:

kittywen_16UID: 2135347

考试日子越来越近了，大家最近一定都很忙，坚持下去就是胜利。
谢谢蜗牛的表扬:p。贴些漂亮の图片，希望大家保持愉快的心情复习应考。