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[a习作temp] argu2 [加州阳光]第一次作业 [复制链接]

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发表于 2006-6-3 09:00:52 |显示全部楼层
附:提纲
1.        对平均价值升3倍的几点疑问
2.        B地改置是否对价值升高有贡献
3.        即使有贡献在D地也适合吗
A2
   In this argument, the arguer suggests that homeowners in Deerhaven Acres should adopting their set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting as a way to raise property values in Deerhaven Acres. What spurs him to make that suggestion is that seven years agoby doing things said above the average property values had tripled in Brookville since then. So the arguer makes a quick decision that things will be the same in Deerhaven if they adopt their set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting. However, his reason may not well support his opinion. There are several things we should pay more attention.
   First, in the passage the arguer said that after Brookville had changed its figuration partly, the average property values had tripled in Brookville. I can't help asking a few questions. How many years had it spent in tripling the property values? Is the property values always increasing or fluctuating? Is it still increasing now? How about the price now? Are other factors that influence the average property values? Yes, there maybe other factors, such as the increased average property values all over the country, the improved ornament, the convenient transportation and so on.
  Second, it said that the average property values had tripled in Brookvill. So, we may think the restriction did little or no even opposed effects on the average property value. The biggest contribution may other buildings, such as the commence distractions, places near  parks, places around the schools and so on. Even if the change has contributed to the increasing average property values, there may still some distractions  prove to be failed.
  Third, even though things are true in Brookville, that is, adopting a set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting actually enhanced the average property values in Brookville. However, will it be effective in Deerhaven acres? Deerhaven Acres may have his own features and it should be changed on that base. And something important is that Brookville has already used that program ,so if Deerhaven still do the plan it will not attractive and very likely to fail. It could be changed in other aspects .Maybe variety is a good choice.
  In conclusion, the arguer doesn't well support his suggestion. He should use more facts to conform us that it is actually the restrictions ˊcontribution to the increasing average property values .And also, he should prove that Deerhaven and Brookville are very similar in environment, economics, culture and so on. Then, he could conclude that to raise the average property values in Deerhaven   the owners should adopt their set of restriction on landscaping and housepainting.

[ 本帖最后由 hjl-0000 于 2006-6-3 16:01 编辑 ]

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发表于 2006-6-3 10:38:45 |显示全部楼层

好像缺少联结词, 不顺畅

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发表于 2006-6-3 22:29:46 |显示全部楼层
谢了哦

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发表于 2006-6-3 23:25:26 |显示全部楼层

My suggestions

argu2 加州阳光第一次作业

附:提纲
1.        对平均价值升3倍的几点疑问
2.        B地改置是否对价值升高有贡献
3.        即使有贡献在D地也适合吗
A2
   In this argument, the arguer suggests that homeowners in Deerhaven Acres should adopting their set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting as a way to raise property values in Deerhaven Acres. What spurs him to make that suggestion is that seven years ago by doing things said above the average property values had tripled in Brookville since then.by doing things above 能作 the average property values 的状语吗?这句需要重写 So the arguer makes a quick decision that things will be the same in Deerhaven if they adopt their set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting. However, his reason may not well support his opinion. There are several things we should pay more attentionshould discuss.
   First, in the passage the arguer said that after Brookville had changed its figuration partly, the average property values had tripled in Brookville. I can't help asking a few questions. How many years had it spent in tripling the property values? Is the property values always increasing or fluctuating? Is it still increasing now? How about the price now? Are other factors that influence the average property values? Yes, there maybe other factors, such as the increased average property values all over the country, the improved ornament, the convenient transportation and so on.与主题无关
  Second, it is said that the average property values had tripled in Brookvill. So, we may think the restriction did little or no even opposed effects on the average property value. The biggest contribution may other buildings, such as the commence distractions, places near  parks, places around the schools and so on. Even if the change has contributed to the increasing average property values, there may still some distractions  prove to be failed.
  Third, even though things are true in Brookville, that is, adopting a set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting actually enhanced the average property values in Brookville. However, will it be effective in Deerhaven acres? Deerhaven Acres may have his own features and it should be changed on that baseon that base 是什么意思?. And something important is that Brookville has already used that program ,so if Deerhaven still do the plan it will not attractive and very likely to fail. It could be changed in other aspects .Maybe variety is a good choice.
  In conclusion, the arguer doesn't well support his suggestion. He should use more facts to conform us that it is actually the restrictions ˊcontribution to the increasing average property values .And also, he should prove that Deerhaven and Brookville are very similar in environment, economics, culture and so on. Then, he could conclude that to raise the average property values in Deerhaven   the owners should adopt their set of restriction on landscaping and housepainting.
感觉语句写的不是很好,多练练句式吧!

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发表于 2006-6-4 15:53:12 |显示全部楼层

thanks a lot

下周5天就有4天考试:mad:
作文修改的拖几天了

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RE: argu2 [加州阳光]第一次作业 [修改]

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argu2 [加州阳光]第一次作业
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-473203-1-1.html
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