Argument24 [黄金十二宫]第六次作业(6.5)

yewakyUID: 2193878

Argument24  the following appeared in a memo from president of Viva-Tech, a manufacturer of high-tech medical equipment.
"In order to reduce costs, we would close some of existing small assembly plants and build a large central plant. Grandview would be an ideal location for this new plant. First, of the locations that we have considered, Grandview has the largest adult population, so that we will be able to staff our plant quickly and easily. Second, since the average wage earned by workers in Grandview is less than that in the other locations. we should be able keep production costs low. Last, as an inducement for us to build there, Grandview's town council has also offered to allow us to operate for the first three years without paying city taxes.

节约成本不一定要关小厂建大厂(最后一段)
建大厂不一定要在G建
1. 人不一定多，即使人多，不一定会很快招收到工作人员：可能大都有工作，或不具备工厂要求的条件
2. 收入低不一定成本低：收入低只说明劳动力成本低，不代表原材料便宜
3. 头三年免税，以后的税率的高低不知道

In the argument, the president of Viva-Tech, a manufacturer of high-tech equipment, claims that in order to reduce costs, they should, close some of existing small assembly plants and build a large central plant, and Grandview would be an ideal location for this new plant. The reasons cited are that, first, of the locations that we have considered, Grandview has the largest adult population, so that we will be able to staff our plant quickly and easily. Second, since the average wage earned by workers in Grandview is less than that in the other locations. we should be able keep production costs low. Last, as an inducement for us to build there, Grandview's town council has also offered to allow us to operate for the first three years without paying city taxes. This argument involves the sort of gross oversimplification and lacking credibility. For this reason, it is unconvincing.,

To begin with, the president provide scarce evidence whatsoever for the claim that Grandview has the largest adult population…even it is true, the fact cannot support the conclusion that they will hire staff quickly and easily. For, perhaps most of the large adult populations have got hired, or perhaps, large portion of them, without the special knowledge or skills needed, are not suitable for the high-tech medical manufacturer, and it will takes a span of time for them to have the professional training, which are not as quickly and easily as the president’s allegation

Moreover, the fact that the average wage earned by workers in Grandview is less than that in the other locations lends little support to the claim that they should be able keep production costs low, for it is entirely possible that this low average wage attributes to a high percent of jobs requiring low-level skills, which cannot make them capable for the high-tech job. Besides, even the low average wage earned by workers in Grandview does make the cost of labor low, that does not mean the total cost will get down in total expense of their high-tech medical equipment, for other factors also determine the production cost, such as the cost of raw and processed materials, the cost of transport, management, and so on.

The third problem with the argument involves the wrongly assumption that Grandview would be an ideal location for their new plant based on the fact that Grandview's town council has also offered to allow the manufacturer to operate for the first three years without paying city taxes as an inducement for us to build there. Admittedly, the evidence lends some measure of support to the recommendation. However, the president ignores the possibility that other cities under consideration would be willing to make similar concessions, or provide other equally attractive financial incentives or better ones. In addition, the president overlooks the cost in the city tax over the long term. It is entirely possible that government in other cites also carry out the policy well or better, and that city tax in Grandview is higher than in other cities which will increase the manufacturer’s expense of production. Thus, without ruling out other factors in all probability, the president fails to convince me that Grandview would be an ideal location for their new plant.

Last but not the lease, it is not the only way to reduce costs, that to close some of existing small assembly plants and build a large central plant. However, the president is utterly
ignorant of comparing the large central plant to be built with the existing small assembly with convincing statistics, or of other factors that related to the production cost, such as the overheads of transportation, management etc.

In summary, this argument not convincing as it stands. To make it logically acceptable, the president would have to demonstrate that the Grandview’s residents will be able and willing to be employed by the manufacturer, and grant more detail information to support the claim that the low average wage and the first three year’s operation without paying city tax in Grandview will reduce the production cost, and compare the the large central plant to be built with the existing small assembly with convincing statistics.

[ 本帖最后由 yewaky 于 2006-6-6 07:49 编辑 ]

IvotUID: 2191490

Argument24 [黄金十二宫]第六次作业(6.5)

Argument24  the following appeared in a memo from president of Viva-Tech, a manufacturer of high-tech medical equipment.
"In order to reduce costs, we would close some of existing small assembly plants and build a large central plant. Grandview would be an ideal location for this new plant. First, of the locations that we have considered, Grandview has the largest adult population, so that we will be able to staff our plant quickly and easily. Second, since the average wage earned by workers in Grandview is less than that in the other locations. we should be able keep production costs low. Last, as an inducement for us to build there, Grandview's town council has also offered to allow us to operate for the first three years without paying city taxes.

节约成本不一定要关小厂建大厂(最后一段)
建大厂不一定要在G建
1. 人不一定多，即使人多，不一定会很快招收到工作人员：可能大都有工作，或不具备工厂要求的条件
2. 收入低不一定成本低：收入低只说明劳动力成本低，不代表原材料便宜[这种错见到很多，有哪位知道逻辑学上的名字叫什么？一直没想起]
3. 头三年免税，以后的税率的高低不知道

In the argument, the president of Viva-Tech, a manufacturer of high-tech equipment, claims that in order to reduce costs, they should, close some of existing small assembly plants and build a large central plant, and Grandview would be an ideal location for this new plant.[[paragrap最好变换句式，这两句是抄题好像不太好] The reasons cited are that, first, of as for好一点the locations that we have considered, Grandview has the largest adult population, so that we[they] will be able to staff our[the new] plant quickly and easily. Second, since the average wage earned by workers in Grandview is less than that in the other locations. wethey should be able keep production costs low. Last[At last 或finally], as an inducement for us to build there, Grandview's town council has also offered to allow us to operate for the first three years without paying city taxes. This argument involves the sort of gross oversimplification and lacking credibility. For this reason, it is unconvincing.,[复述论据太长了，可以变换成短语来复述]

To begin with, the president provide scarce evidence whatsoever for the claim that Grandview has the largest adult population…even it is true, the fact cannot support the conclusion that they will hire staff quickly and easily. For, perhaps most of the large adult populations have got hired, or perhaps, large portion of them, without the special knowledge or skills needed, are not suitable for the high-tech medical manufacturer, and it will takes a span of time for them to have the professional training, which are not as quickly and easily as the president’s allegation

Moreover, the fact that the average wage earned by workers in Grandview is less than that in the other locations lends little support to the claim that they should be able keep production costs low, for it is entirely possible that this low average wage attributes to a high percent of jobs requiring low-level skills, which cannot make them capable[qualified] for the high-tech job. Besides, even the low average wage earned by workers in Grandview does make the cost of labor [labor force吧]low, that[that去掉，已经有主语了] does not mean the total cost will get down in total expense of their high-tech medical equipment, for other factors also determine the production cost, such as the cost of raw and processed materials, the cost of transport, management, and so on.

The third problem with the argument involves the wrongly assumption that Grandview would be an ideal location for their new plant based on the fact that Grandview's town council has also offered to allow the manufacturer to operate for the first three years without paying city taxes as an inducement for us to build there. Admittedly, the evidence lends some measure of support to the recommendation. However, the president ignores the possibility that other cities under consideration would be willing to make similar concessions, or provide other equally attractive financial incentives or better ones. In addition, the president overlooks the cost in the city tax over the long term. It is entirely possible that government in other cites also carry out the policy well or better[说其他城市政策优惠前面说过了，这里又说就有点混乱了。这里应该集中说这个城市以后的政策...], and that city tax in Grandview is higher than in other cities which will increase the manufacturer’s expense of production. Thus, without ruling out other factors in all probability, the president fails to convince me that Grandview would be an ideal location for their new plant.

Last but not the lease[least?], it is not the only way to reduce costs, that to close some of existing small assembly plants and build a large central plant. However, the president is utterly
ignorant of comparing the large central plant to be built with the existing small assembly with convincing statistics, or of other factors that related to the production cost, such as the overheads of transportation, management etc.

In summary, this argument not convincing as it stands. To make it logically acceptable, the president would have to demonstrate that the Grandview’s residents will be able and willing to be employed by the manufacturer, and grant more detail information to support the claim that the low average wage and the first three year’s operation without paying city tax in Grandview will reduce the production cost, and compare the the large central plant to be built with the existing small assembly with convincing statistics.

[ 本帖最后由 Ivot 于 2006-6-6 10:21 编辑 ]

asong2004UID: 2178054

节约成本不一定要关小厂建大厂(最后一段)
建大厂不一定要在G建
1. 人不一定多，即使人多，不一定会很快招收到工作人员：可能大都有工作，或不具备工厂要求的条件
2. 收入低不一定成本低：收入低只说明劳动力成本低，不代表原材料便宜
3. 头三年免税，以后的税率的高低不知道

In the argument, the president of Viva-Tech, a manufacturer of high-tech equipment, claims that in order to reduce costs, they should, close some of existing small assembly plants and build a large central plant, and Grandview would be an ideal location for this new plant. The reasons cited are that, first, of the locations that we have considered, Grandview has the largest adult population, so that we will be able to staff our plant quickly and easily. Second, since the average wage earned by workers in Grandview is less than that in the other locations. we should be able keep production costs low. Last, as an inducement for us to build there, Grandview's town council has also offered to allow us to operate for the first three years without paying city taxes. This argument involves the sort of gross oversimplification and lacking credibility. For this reason（指上面的原因还是下面要展开的呢？）, it is unconvincing.,

To begin with, the president provide scarce evidence whatsoever for the claim that Grandview has the largest adult population…even it is true, the fact cannot support the conclusion that they will hire staff quickly and easily. For, perhaps most of the large adult populations have got hired, or perhaps, large portion of them, without the special knowledge or skills needed, are not suitable for the high-tech medical manufacturer, and it will takes a span of time for them to have the professional training, which are not as quickly and easily as the president’s allegation

Moreover, the fact that the average wage earned by workers in Grandview is less than that in the other locations lends little support to the claim that they should be able keep production costs low, for it is entirely possible that this low average wage attributes to a high percent of jobs requiring low-level skills, which cannot make them capable for the high-tech job. Besides, even the low average wage earned by workers in Grandview does make the cost of labor low, that does not mean the total cost will get down in total expense of their high-tech medical equipment, for other factors also determine the production cost, such as the cost of raw and processed materials, the cost of transport, management, and so on.

The third problem with the argument involves the wrongly assumption that Grandview would be an ideal location for their new plant based on the fact that Grandview's town council has also offered to allow the manufacturer to operate for the first three years without paying city taxes as an inducement for us to build there. Admittedly, the evidence lends some measure of support to the recommendation. However, the president ignores the possibility that other cities under consideration would be willing to make similar concessions, or provide other equally attractive financial incentives or better ones. In addition, the president overlooks the cost in the city tax over the long term. It is entirely possible（这个完全可能的说法用了不少次吧，换换好了） that government in other cites also carry out the policy well or（even） better, and that city tax in Grandview is higher than in other cities which will increase the manufacturer’s expense of production. Thus, without ruling out other factors in all probability, the president fails to convince me that Grandview would be an ideal location for their new plant.

Last but not the lease, it is not the only way to reduce costs, that to close some of existing small assembly plants and build a large central plant.（感觉用让步比如说承认在G兴建大型plant是正确的） However, the president is utterly
ignorant of comparing the large central plant to be built with the existing small assembly with convincing statistics, or of other factors that related to the production cost, such as the overheads of transportation, management etc.（看到题目的时候我想了很久，不知道应不应该反驳这一点。是不是应该作为一个默认正确的说法（拆小的，盖大的），当然如果你有确凿的证据必须加的话，就好好教教我哈）

In summary, this argument not convincing as it stands. To make it logically acceptable, the president would have to demonstrate that the Grandview’s residents will be able and willing to be employed by the manufacturer, and grant more detail information to support the claim that the low average wage and the first three year’s operation without paying city tax in Grandview will reduce the production cost, and compare the the large central plant to be built with the existing small assembly with convincing statistics.
语法上就不说什么了，毕竟是A嘛。不过感觉反驳的例子淡薄了些好些没展开都是泛泛的说。另外开头好长啊，觉得会浪费时间的，还有结尾。也许是我写的慢吧，感觉头尾都可以更简单的说。

IvotUID: 2191490

原帖由 asong2004 于 2006-6-6 10:25 发表
节约成本不一定要关小厂建大厂(最后一段)
建大厂不一定要在G建
1. 人不一定多，即使人多，不一定会很快招收到工作人员：可能大都有工作，或不具备工厂要求的条件
2. 收入低不一定成本低：收入低只说明劳动力成 ...

我觉得他想的反驳的例子很多，可是都没怎么展开
所以感觉思维不停的跳啊跳的

最后一个反驳，个人觉得不应该反驳必要性，因为这是大前提嘛，可以反驳的是充分性
这样做，能否节约成本
他的topic sentence是批必要性（only way。。。),可是接下来说的好像是充分性如何如何

yewakyUID: 2193878

[说其他城市政策优惠前面说过了，这里又说就有点混乱了。这里应该集中说这个城市以后的政策...]——Ivot的眼睛雪亮啊。我写的时候就犹豫了半天，最后还是写上了，呵呵
顺便请教一下充分必要性的问题。

[ 本帖最后由 yewaky 于 2006-6-6 12:55 编辑 ]

yewakyUID: 2193878

开头是最后写的，主要是开头写法比较薄弱，为了图省事，直接复制的，呵呵。
开头到底该不该驳我也不清楚，不过北美范文上没写这一条。

njutleeUID: 2179673

我看了一些人的文章，我发现我和Yawaky等人都在逻辑上有不严密的地方，我总结下这片Argument 24的逻辑错误在于三点：
1。没有证据说明关小厂建大厂就可以减少开支；
2。三个证据不够详细，缺乏数据等进一步支持；
3。仅三个理由就说在G建厂好使不购充分的。三个理由分别说，劳动力多，劳动力平均便宜，前三年税收少。但是一个工厂能否正常高效运行并且省钱还需要其他一些条件支持：如交通是否便利（运输成本），原材料（价格与远近及是否容易购买到），水电价格，环保压力（也许当地对环保严格，为此工厂要投入更多的钱），等等。。。

njutleeUID: 2179673

我感觉你的逻辑上安排的不好，攻击顺序上也不行，应该也釜底抽薪

yewakyUID: 2193878

多谢，这个釜底抽薪，不大懂啊