issue38 【加州阳光】第二次作业~我爱砖头

benniUID: 2166321

我爱砖头~谢谢帮俺提高的好心人！


论证部分提纲（disagree）：

1、电视的优势——证据更准确+视觉影音是学习更值得享受+播报新闻while books cannot

2、然而，书籍可以提供更客观的分析

3、此外，书籍显然比书籍有更多的信息。想想吧，在写论文的时候，需要资料的人会去看电视还是翻书？


正文：

Can people learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books， which is not as important as before, as the speaker asserts? While I concede that watching television can inform us a lot of useful knowledge, even part of which can not be obtained from reading books, however, I strongly disagree that television can substitute for reading books when it comes to study.

Admittedly, it is true that television, as a new media to impart knowledge, benefits people in several respects. First, television can provide more accurate evidence in certain realms than books. Consider, for example, the knowledge of history. In present day, there are numerous programs about history in different channels which not only inform audience the historical events but also exhibit the related documents, show places where events happened, and interview the specialists or victims in the event, all of which offer us a unique journey—that books fails to provide— as visiting a large museum for free in home. Secondly, watching television is the visual and acoustical learning experience which makes learning more enjoyable than reading books. In addition, books definitely cannot promptly provide the daily news as significant part of knowledge, while television serves as the one of the main tools to inform people the modern and current events.

Beyond this concession, the speaker's claim is problematical in two aspects. In the first place, the television, in most cases, has little contribution to provide audience objective and balanced information toward societal and political events. Why? The managers of television media tend to cater to the audience's and societal mainstream opinion, which renders lots of programs to appeal to emotion and sensation rather than objectiveness and intellect. In contrast, it proves to be a tough task for a writer to predict all the readers’ identity and their opinions. As a result, reading books helps people construct a more contact and objective cognition about society and political events than watching television.

Secondly, it is disputable that library could effectively offer people more academic knowledge than television. In present day, nearly every metropolis has at least one big library with innumerable books in almost every field. Moreover, the library usually offers the “electronic search system”. Even though one with basic search skill needs the family tree of a historical celebrity, he or she could find the related book in a few minutes via computer. On the other hand, television clearly pales when it comes to promptly provide what audience urgently need. Consider a simple question: when you need some information or references while writing a paper, whether you would turn to the television or books?

In conclusion, as far as I am concerned, it is rather superficial to assert that people can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books. Although watching television indeed inform people current events and knowledge in limited discipline, it cannot replace book as a means of impartation and education. Not only because can books provide readers a more objective and balanced opinion in societal and political events than television, but also because books contain quite much knowledge which television fails to provide and to conveniently save for descendants.

[ 本帖最后由 benni 于 2006-6-19 13:37 编辑 ]

riverwUID: 2199459

论证部分提纲（disagree）：

1、电视的优势——证据更准确+视觉影音是学习更值得享受+播报新闻while books cannot
2、然而，书籍可以提供更客观的分析 （这个不一定吧？）
3、此外，书籍显然比书籍有更多的信息。想想吧，在写论文的时候，需要资料的人会去看电视还是翻书？


正文：

Can people learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books()， which (首先，此定语从句从结构上应理解“reading books”；其次，这个从句客观承认了书本没有以前重要) is not as important as before, as the speaker asserts? While (为什么会有while这个语气上的转折呢？我感觉不如用"In my point of view") I concede that watching television can inform (bring to) us a lot of useful knowledge, even part (some) of which can not be obtained from reading books, however, I strongly disagree that television can substitute for (不熟悉这个词的用法，我用的take the books' place) reading books (television与books对应，watching television与reading books对应) when it comes to study.

Admittedly, it is true that television, as a new media to impart knowledge (这里说电视就是用来传授知识的，不认同啊), benefits people in several respects (aspects). First, television can provide more accurate evidence in certain realms than books. Consider, for example, the knowledge of history. In present day, there are numerous TV programs about history in different channels which (指代channels) not only inform audience the historical events but also exhibit the (去掉the，不必特指) related documents, show places where those events happened, and interview the specialists or victims in the event (survivors or authoritative history researchers), all of which offer us a unique journey of knowing history—that books fails to provide— as visiting a large museum for free in (at) home. (这句写得过于复杂了，而且含意表达和句子结构未完全到位，建议采取简化措施)  Secondly (前面用first，对应用Second), watching television is the (a) visual and acoustical learning experience which makes learning more enjoyable than reading books. In addition, books definitely cannot promptly provide the daily news as significant part of knowledge (which is a significant part of knowledge), while television serves as the one of the main tools to inform people the modern and current (意义重复，不如直接用happening) events. (这段对电视的描述说明了电视的生动、形象，但说到对历史的呈现，电视反而需要书本的记载为基础。)

Beyond this concession, the speaker's claim is problematical in two aspects. In the first place, the television, in most cases, has little contribution to provide audience objective and balanced information toward societal (这个词少见哦，跟social有何不同？) and political events. Why? The managers of television media tend to cater to the audience's and societal mainstream opinion, which renders lots of programs to appeal to emotion and sensation rather than objectiveness and intellect. In contrast, it proves (it is proved) to be a tough task for a writer to predict all the readers’ identity and their opinions. As a result, reading books helps people construct a more contact (名词) and objective cognition about society and political events than watching television. (书是可以针对专门的读者群来写的，而且书也可以很主观、很情绪化地写，论证还不够让人信服；另外，最好用一、两句把讨论归纳到论题上来：电视并不能胜任教育所以不能替代书本)

Secondly, it is disputable that library could effectively offer people more academic knowledge than television (这个主题句在支持原观点而不是你的disagree). In present day, nearly every metropolis has at least one big library with innumerable (这个词语气上有些走极端啊) books in almost every field. Moreover, the library usually offers the “electronic search system”. Even though one with basic search skill needs (语法错误，可改为：who is searching for) the family tree of a historical celebrity, he or she could find the related book in a few minutes via computer. On the other hand, television clearly pales (用词有些牵强) when it comes to promptly provide what audience urgently need. Consider a simple question (situation): when you need some information or references while writing a paper, whether you would turn to the television or books (表达有些别扭啊，我来写个：when you need some information or references to finish an academic paper, will you select television to seek the expected materials?)?

In conclusion, as far as I am concerned, it is rather superficial to assert that people can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books. Although watching television indeed inform people current events and knowledge in limited discipline (limited useful information), it cannot replace book as a means (可数？不可数？) of impartation and education. Not only because can books provide readers a more objective and balanced opinion in societal and political events than television, but also because books contain quite much knowledge which television fails to provide and to conveniently save for descendants (最后这句的not only...but also表达别扭啊).

说理有些牵强；
句子结构、选词有很多不恰当的地方；
关于主要反对的文章，我认为在辩驳的时候每个分段主题句最好也要写成立论的模样。高手文章往往如此。你可以体会一下，有不同看法跟我交流交流啊；
批得狠了点，有不对的地方请多包涵；
我的issue38，还没人给我拍，请你指导啦，谢谢！:)
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

[ 本帖最后由 riverw 于 2006-6-13 18:33 编辑 ]

benniUID: 2166321

谢谢riverw 非常细致的批改和中肯的建议！一会儿去拍你的。先就几个词说一下我的理解，也欢迎其他朋友来讨论！

1、respects：北美范文上常用的词汇，应该是可以和aspects换着用
2、soceiatl：北美范文常用词汇，似乎更强调“社会的”，而social比较偏重“社交”，个人理解
3、substitute for 就是“代替”的意思，toefl阅读常见词汇
4、mean+s是方法的意思，做单数
5、need也可以做vt.

...那应该是indisputable，我绿:L

[ 本帖最后由 benni 于 2006-6-13 19:00 编辑 ]

riverwUID: 2199459

对词所拍的砖确有不妥，sorry：
1. respect  有“着眼点，方面”的意思
2. societal  M-W里等同于social
3. substitute for  可用于A substitute for B
4. means  作“手段、方式、方法”时可数，单复数同形
5. needs  这里不是拍词，是拍句子表达的意思，不幸的是我没拍对。从前面一句“而且，图书馆通常还提供了电子查询系统”，我认为你想表达的意思是“尽管一个想查找历史名人家族史的人只具有基本的搜索技巧，他/她也能在短短几分钟内找到相应的书籍”；而英文读起来的意思是“尽管一个具有基本搜索技巧的人想查找某个历史名人的家族史，他/她也能在短短几分钟内找到相应的书籍”。不知道你到底是想说搜索便捷还是想说图书馆藏书丰富呢。:-)

benniUID: 2166321

我想说的是图书馆有大量藏书，并且通过先进的搜索功能，人们可以更好的利用他们
似乎是有点离题，3x

expire7UID: 2160574

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1


格式不对。请修改，不然被删就不好了

benniUID: 2166321

抱歉 过两天在改吧
发烧了 刚交上新的作业
先睡了