issue83 义无反顾小组第二十三次作业

shan_yfUID: 2182345

提纲：
1、        政府保护的必要性：有很高的科研价值
2、        野生地区的状况直接影响着当地的气候和环境
3、        即使是很少有人去的地方政府也该保护
The author asserts that government should protect publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state, as well as the very remote areas. Since wilderness areas are part of ecosystem, I strongly agree with the author's viewpoint.

To begin with, it is necessary for government to preserve their owned wildness areas. On the one hand, plants and animals in the wilderness areas have important values of research. For example, in terms of medicine, the development of systematic medicine is based on the study in plants and creatures in china, and researchers can also obtain from animals. In terms of technology, people not only designed and produced the first plane through simulating the birds' fly but also manufacture d radar by studying bat .既然都写两个in terms of了建议在加一个构成排比修辞，比如在教育方面可以让学生看到真的生物而不是标本 From above examples, we can see the significance of animals and plants in the wilderness areas in research.感觉结尾和ts有些相似 是否可以改为从反方向without来强调重要性

On the other hand, whether the situation of wilderness areas is good or bad  has effect on local climate and environment directly. Generally speaking, wilderness areas often are （offen放在be后面） full of a variety of pants（plants） and creatures, and the plants are able to not only regulate these places' heat and water, but also play a key role in absorbing carbon dioxide （二氧化碳）and releasing（释放） oxygen,and thus decrease the greenhouse effect to some extent. （这句有点层次感不明， 最好后面的and单独拿出去说明）If these plants are destroyed, local climate will somewhat change in the short time and dramatically alter in the long time. For instance, Amazon tropical rain forests in Brazil, which are called "the lungs of the earth", produces twenty percent of oxygen we breathe every year. Its areas , which disappeared last year, equal to half of national areas in Switzerland approximately, without the government's protection. A survey conducted by many scientists indicates that the concentrations of carbon dioxide  in these areas become higher than before, as well as local temperature  increases. So, if government does not preserve its owned wilderness areas , its people will suffer from climate and environment altering（deterioration比altering严重）.:victory:这段采用了数字论据附加类比修辞和调查引用，例子丰富
In addition, government also need emphasize on the preservation of wilderness areas to which a few people be accessible.  People's curiosity which spurs people to explore the unknown world or the areas without people living or going  is increasing with the development of science and society. A case in point is that KeKeXiLi which situates in the remote places in China, its climate condition is so serious that almost no one went there several decades ago. However, hunters frequently go to this place to slaughter Tibetan antelopes （藏羚羊  偶记住了;P）which are rare animals all over the word, and sell Tibetan antelopes with much higher price at present. According to some statistical datum, we understand that  Tibetan antelopes' numbers has decreased from more than one million while Tibetan antelopes were discovered to ten thousand now. Common sense informs us that Tibetan antelopes will die away in the near future if government does not take actions to protect these Tibetan antelopes and the wilderness area. So , we can see it is necessary for government to protect its owned wilderness areas which are remote.例子不错，但我觉得应该简要点，加入些保护的具体措施比较好

In sum, preservation of wilderness areas can benefit for people, so government should protect the wilderness places regardless of whether they are remote or not.结尾可能是时间不多了吧 作下展望就更好了:p

笔者论据丰富且善于变换论证形式，如果作为考场文章限时写还是不错地，希望能在语言上再锤炼一下，把现有的词汇拔高些，个人意见：）

[ 本帖最后由 shan_yf 于 2006-6-13 20:03 编辑 ]

ylwangUID: 2191211

ylwang-->hzyj0322

这个小组好好啊，组长负责,写作强度也大，以后我就跟着写了,也会每天来改大家的
Issue83提纲
完全同意
一局部的环境将会影响到整个生态平衡
V1部分与整体的关系
V2局部环境将会破坏整个生态。保护局部环境有利与整个生态环境

二 环境问题刻不容缓，不能向环境做丝毫让步，要不惜一切代价保护环境
V1 随着工业的发展和经济的进步，环境破坏越来越严重
V2 保护环境是原则问题，绝不妥协，防微杜渐，不然人类将会灭亡。

三 科研价值和经济价值。
V1正是因为人烟稀少，所以偏远地区的环境越原始，有很多珍贵的物种，极具科研价值。所以更应当保护。
V2经济价值，矿物和风景

四怎样保护野生环境
V1府方面，建立完善的法律法规，并且不断的教育人民，强化环保意识，
V2为个人，应该遵守法律，并且意识到环境的重要性来保持环境。

TOPIC: ISSUE83 - "Government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state, even though these areas are often extremely remote and thus accessible to only a few people."

During recent several centuries, with the dramatic development in technology economy, the problem of environment is becoming more and more serious. There exists a debate between whether the environment of some remote areas should be protected where only a few people live there. I strongly support to remain the natural state of these wild areas for the following reasons.(开头相当漂亮，赞！)

Firstly, the environmental condition will affect the whole ecologic system. The wild areas and the world are something like the part and the whole which has a close relationship with each other and can not be separately considered. They are interrelated and interact with each other. The whole are consisted with different parts, so the whole would not exit while each part is destroyed one by one. It is the same when referring to the environment of these wild areas and the whole ecological system. If the protections of ecology of each area are ignored, the whole nature would face a severe ecological disaster.(这段是不是话多了一点，一直在说你的论点，可是没有进行论证，不过语言组织很好) Take the deforestation of Amazon for instance, many people rushed to the area, where few people reside, in South America to cut these rainforest for economic interest.  The clear cutting strategy without protection of these forests finally results in the aggravation in global environment. (建议这里仔细说一下造成了哪些危害，是如何从局部到整体进行链式或者扩散式反应的，才能让论证更convincing)

Secondly, the problem of environment become(becomes) so serious nowadays that even the most remote area should be preserved or we human beings would suffer extinction. The environment has been greatly destroyed during the recent centuries since the industrial involution(evolution) in Britain. Rapid economic development sacrificed the nature, so there exists the destroyed ozone layer, the green house effect, species extinction water pollution and the energy crisis etc. Modern industry is threatening the environment in every aspect. While facing terrible environmental crisis, every effort should be made to protect the nature and our belief to fight against the deterioration in environment should not be shacked, or we have to suffer the exposure of ultraviolet radiation, the raise of the sea level, famine and thirsty, as well as the species extinction while the final extinction will come to human beings ourselves who are the originators of these terrible disasters.(这段论证的不错！)

Furthermore, these remote areas have great scientific research value and economic interest. They are so remote that are accessible to few people, which retain there natural state and has lots of valuable species creatures live in it. Many places in Africa are always considered as a paradise of scientists, where remote and inaccessible, and where habitats various wild lives. Wile(Wild) areas also mean economic interest as a result of their natural state. They may have abundant deposit of coal and petrol and usually wild areas has beautiful scenery which can contribute to a nation’s tourism.(写的太好了，没什么可修改的了！)

Finally, how can we preserve these wild areas? Laws should be made by the government to minimize the artificial devastation of the natural state of these areas, just as what have done by the Wildness Act of 1964, which contribute a lot to the environment protection. And also, the importance of preserving these areas should be informed to the populace, thus the whole society will join in the activity in environment protecting.  (非常好！)

These wild areas, though remote and even inaccessible, has great environmental, scientific, as well as interest values, and they should be perfectly preserved. In fact, everyone has the responsibility to protect these areas, while the government is undoubtedly the main strength.(结尾也非常有力)


总结
1。文采非常好，行文流畅，条理清晰，和北美的风格很像了，几乎无懈可击，论证也非常完善有力。
2。第二段整体和局部的关系没有具体展开论述，如果改好了，我想这篇作文应该至少能拿5.5以上。

水平有限，见谅！

[ 本帖最后由 ylwang 于 2006-6-13 20:09 编辑 ]

even1985310UID: 2105390

evevn1985310-----yuvi

Should government preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state? I do agree with this statement, not only because to preserve the wilderness areas might be necessary for the ecological balance, but also those areas are usually valued for the scientific research.

To begin with, there is an obligation for government to preserve publicly owned wilderness areas from the ecological consideration. As we all know, there are many biological species are confronting with extinct situation. And those species are normally living in the wilderness areas.（as we know there are many biological species which living in the wildness areas are confronting with extinct situation） Take panda in China for example. The mountain-forests in Southwestern China, as many studies shown, are the most suitable place for panda's growth. And therefore Chinese government has divided a specific Panda Preserved Area in the mountain-forests of Southwestern China, in order to help the preservation to avoid panda's extinction. This work now successfully preserves thousands pandas and gives them a blighting future.(也许例子and therefore 那块是否应加入逻辑分析：熊猫生存地很容易毁坏，没有认为干预因素，熊猫将面临饿死的命运，但是因为有了政府的保护，那熊猫作为世界活化石的生存将迅速缩小，这样) In short, to preserve those wilderness areas, always benefit for the ecological environment.      

What is more, in a scientific consider, preserve the wilderness areas might be helpful for some researches. For instance, in Western Australia, there is an isolated island without any living things located next to Bundaberg. People in Australia did not pay any attention with this small island, however, after years the scientist found that there are many coral reefs and other precious ocean species （是否可以加一个宾语丛句，夸张他的稀有，比如在海洋学中是极为罕见的研究标本，）around the sea-areas of the island. This find which is important for both oceanography and biology researches（这里是否也可加个限制从句，什么样的RESWEARCH，比如完善整个海洋珊瑚的种系，研究珊瑚生态组织）, and of course the island has been preserved nowadays by Australian government. And there are many cases in the world that might be similar with this one, hence, to preserve the wilderness areas without human beings, should be significant for the scientific research.

In the final analysis, admittedly that government has the duty to preserve the publicly owned wilderness areas for both ecological and scientific considerations, however, moderately to explore those areas for some reasonable uses are also accepted.（这里是否应该提一下：而不是题目中的绝对保持原始摸样；不然读者会想我说保护他不证明我就绝对反对符合生态的开发呀？实际在美的保护原始生态地的法律中并不禁止原有在其地上的一些打猎或是旅游之类活动，这是否是作者将自己的假设加到出题者的身上？） Consider, to establish a windmill power station for an economic reason, or to set up a nuclear station for military needs, or to develop a satellite launching station for the scientific researches and so on. Then government obviously has the rights to exploit those extremely remote areas and for the reasonable uses. And as long as the moderate uses for the wilderness areas benefit the society and without, or to say, with limit loss for whole environment, such areas could be served as advantages for human beings in a long-term look.

To sum up, even the publicly owned wilderness areas are often extremely remote and with only a few people to access, government still has duty for their preservations in both ecological and scientific reasons. Moreover, if there are any reasonable needs for those areas, government also could use them in a moderate consideration.
终结：文章条理清晰，论证有先有后，主题非常明确，唯一不足就是例子骨肉不够丰厚Sample Text

glxingUID: 2156425

TOPIC: ISSUE83 - "Government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state, even though these areas are often extremely remote and thus accessible to only a few people."
WORDS: 444          TIME: 0:45:00          DATE: 2006-6-13

Is it necessary for government to preserve publicly owned wilderness area in theri natural state? I fundamentally agree with the author's statement. The reasons are followed below.

To be first, the wilderness areas even the remote ones play an important role in keeping a balanced ecosystem because many wild animals inhabiting there. Although most of people would not find it hard to go to the wilderness areas, the living conditions of those animals are still dangerous if the government does not take steps to control. Because there are small percentage of people who kill those animals for economical interest. For example,  Chinese wild tigers in remote areas are decreasing in recent years. That is caused by the participant of human beings who go to the remote areas to catch tigers. The tigers, as an example, are valuable in scientific research and moreover, are  components in the ecosystem. If goverment does not preserve the remote areas and tigers, they would become extinct in the earth, and we human beings would have no opportunity to research and the food chain would be not complete any longer.  

Secondly, preserving the wilderness areas would be vital to remain a stable climate and environment. Generally speaking, there are more plants in the wilderness areas than areas developed by human beings, then these wilderness areas can influence the climate to most extent. Take South-America as an example. There are big areas of rain forests in South-America for thousands of years, but nowadays, local government begins to allow people to cut down forests and grow crops to solve suriving problems. As a result, without the wild rain forests, the climate in the country has gradually been worsening  year after year and even the global environment is influenced.  So preserving wilderness areas, especially those areas with large amount of plants, is also beneficial for human beings to enjoy a stable climate.

Moreover, without the participant of government, it is hard to preserve the wilderness areas. Because if the exploitation of these wilderness areas can bring economical interests,  people will try their best to destroy these areas although the areas are remote. The space areas is a good example. At first, the space outside the earth is clean , but with the development of space science and technology, human have made the publically ownedspace area full of spaceship's rubbish. Now the United Nations has been considering to preserve the pulically owned space areas. Although this example is not about the real wilderness areas on the earth, we can get a simple conclusion that the publiclly owned areas would be destroyed by a few selfish people without the preservation of government.

lazyfishUID: 2220033

谢谢芹菜妹妹帮我修改~遭打击ing……不过也是一种激励~我会努力地~

hzyj0322UID: 2155800

感谢ylwang的修改,非常感谢,我会继续努力的~~3Q

yuviUID: 2169411

多谢evevn1985310:)
我后面会自己再好好修改的.

ginny-mm和小蜗牛你们两个互改一下吧~~:)

kittywen_16UID: 2135347

ISSUE 83
1．长远经济利益要远远大于当前开发的收益
2．可以保护宝贵自然资源
3．只有政府有力度采取实质措施
POSITION：ABSOLUTLY  AGRRE
A latest research conduct by U.N. reported that the condition of the ecological environment has gone from ban to worse. Even though there are some people assert that it will be not worth【worthless】 to put a huge money to protect all the wideness place including some far remote place.【前面只有半个分句】 However I have very reason to support the writer’s assertion even though【“即使”换个说法会好些，和前面重复了】 we still have a long way to go.

For one reason, greater benefits can be achieved by preserving the Green Party. The truth is quite other than some discommender think that protect nature is at a loss. Scientist at England and American reported in the journal Science assume that it will bring twice as much economic value as people to protect the wildness than to exploring these areas for other purpose.【这句说得好】 From a global view, if people can preserve all the Green Park on the earth, it will produce 4 megabytes hundred million dollar which only accounts 1 percent of money on spending on the protection. Lee De Forest, one of the report writers, used marsh as an example. As it can control flood in varied ways, to perform as a【an】 entertainment, to purifying water, to reclaim nutrition.【这句用as 引导原因状语，但没有主谓语，是不是多写了As】 And it can also influence the local climate, providing food【这种句式也不多见，是表示并列？】. Except can not bringing a rapid result, it can absolutely be a good bargain【这句也太chi English了】.

What is more important, reserving the wildness can conserve some endangered species and nature resources. Great Bear Rainforest, the biggest temperate rainforest in the world, is the home of many rarity species: wild 三文鱼【salmon】，Spirit Bear, grizzly bear【好熟悉啊，聪明】, old trees of hundred meter【high】 can see everywhere. Some of the species can only be seen in virgin forest. To avoiding exploration of these【this】 wildness can contribute a lot to the ecological balance.

It is a pity that without opportune management of government, our virgin ecosystem has been destroyed worse and worse【被破坏得越来越差不太通顺，在这里需要形容destroy的程度】. Even thought appealing【appealing thought】 had came from kinds 【of】social organization【s】, three-quarter of Great Bear Rainforest has been destroyed, until the government taken action and signed the Great Bear Rainforest Agreement. Without the policies of government. We can really do nothing to put any real measures. 【这段是号召政府采取行动，保护偏远地区。但作者在文中还是花了一定笔墨描写生态环境的恶化情况，和前面两段重复。同时，没有很好地展开对ts的论述】As all has been discussed above, no matter from the economical sake, or the environmental sake, we need government to try it best to conserve the wildness, no matte【两个no matter】 how far it is, how much it cost.

总结：作者用了很多数字来证明自己的观点，给人一种客观、权威的感觉。值得我学习。本文最大的问题就是chienglish 的痕迹很浓，有些句子读起来完全是按照中文的语序来写，从语法到结构都不规范。估计是限时写比较紧张。一定要注意哦！

even1985310UID: 2105390

多谢KITTY-WEN的批改,不是因为限时啦,写了好长时间,(:$:$)只是真的我的语法确实不好,努力提高