argument65【义无反顾】小组第24次作业

hzyj0322UID: 2155800

argument65【义无反顾】小组第24次作业

1。单独一个新店的例子缺乏普遍性和说服力
2。杂志的统计不完备，样本覆盖不周全
3。减少库存=>增加利润的逻辑有问题

In this argument, the speaker concludes that to stop stocking various imported cheeses and focus chiefly on domestic cheeses could help improve profits in all of their cheese stores since the expense of the company will be reduced by limiting inventory. To support this conclusion, the arguer provides the evidence that domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin has occupied the top five salerooms at their newest store. Besides, the speaker cites the result of a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine which points out that their subscribers have become more and more favor domestic cheeses. This argument suffers from several critical fallacies.[经典开头]

To begin with, the evidence of the newest store cited in the statement is not necessarily persuasive. Firstly, the optimistic sales condition of domestic cheeses in the newest store is only a selective sample which cannot represent the overall stores. Perhaps the store is located in Wisconsin or people living in the neighborhood around the store have certain close relationships with Wisconsin. Secondly, we cannot equal best-selling with good profit. It is entirely possible that the good saleroom of the domestic cheddar cheese is due to their low price. It is also reasonable to doubt that whether these kinds of cheeses will remain on the best-selling list in the future. In short, without better evidence that the example is statistically and logically reliable, it is unadvisable for us to draw any firm conclusions about the favor of the consumers in the huge market according to the condition in a particular store. [不错，衔接紧密，结构也很清晰]

In addition, the cited results from the recent survey about increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers might be unreliable in other respects as well since it is a selective sample. The consequence is based only on data from the subscribers of Cheeses of the World magazine. However, it is not mentioned in the survey the number of people who subscribe the magazine, which might be too limited to represent the whole situation. Besides, the author overlooks the possibility that people who favor imported cheeses did not report the questionnaire or even did not read the magazine. What’s more, the author also ignores the possibility that the major customers of the magazine might be the producers or salesmen of the cheeses, rather than the consumers, which cannot illustrate the preference of domestic cheeses in the real consuming market. Without ruling out these possible scenarios, it is not reasonably for the author to rely on the result of this survey to support the claim of the increasing preference for domestic cheeses. [perfect！]

Last but not the least, the arguer commits a fallacy of hasty generalization. Even if the expenses could be reduced by limiting inventory, it does not follow that there will be greater profits for the stores. As we know, the increasing of profits depends on several major factors such as cost and saleroom. The author does not provide any solid information concerning the cost of production processes and market conditions which might exert grand influences on profits. Actually, the author’s recommendation of limiting inventory and focus mainly on domestic cheeses as the best way to enhance profits would most probably turn out to be ineffective and unpersuasive. [这段再举几个例子就OK了]

To sum up, the conclusion lacks credibility because the speaker didn’t take enough consideration of the completeness of the survey and the critical representativeness of a single new store. Besides, the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the speaker maintains. To strengthen the argument, the speaker would have to provide more information concerning the situation of the cost and saleroom of domestic cheeses. To better evaluate the argument, we would need more reasoning on the relationship between limiting inventory and increasing profits.

很不错，错误找的很准，论证也清晰，就是字数太多了，模板痕迹也比较严重，继续努力~~！

yuviUID: 2169411

多谢shan_yf 的修改,还有PK的鼓励 :)

迟交的同学互改一下:

ginny-mm -->kitty --->lionprince -->ginny-mm

kittywen_16UID: 2135347

In this argument, the arguer intends to convince us that in order to earn the greater profits, the cheese stores should stop selling the imported cheese and convert into selling【这个selling多余】 the domestic cheeses. To support the conclusion, the arguer assumes that the people are not population with imported cheese【 the imported cheese is popular with people】. Further, the arguer cites the survey conducted by world magazine【杂志名称错了】 that its subscribers tend to increase the interest about domestic cheeses. However, as it stands, the argument is not well-reasoned due to the following critical fallacies.

Firstly, we lack of any evidence to improve the fact that the majority of people living in United States is favorite of domestic cheeses rather than imported【作者也没有说全美国对国产奶酪的喜爱增加。他只是说到自己的店里销售情况和杂志的统计情况。这个杂志也没有提到对全国发行】. According to the record about the newest store, the arguer asserts the results. Nevertheless, the arguer neglects the possibilities about the hot sell【selling】 about domestic cheese in years【he asserts the good selling record while neglecting other possibilities…… 把前面一句和后面结合在一起写会更流利】. For example, perhaps in order to stimulate the consumer 【刺激消费者？stimulate consuming 】and attract to the【the customers’ attention】 their eyes, the newest store carry out the 【多余the 】some discounting activity 【activities】so as a result【前面已经有in order to 了】 this behavior prompt the desire of consumer. Even if 【the inclination】inclining to domestic is true,   we seriously suspect whether the trend can keep in the future. After tasting the domestic cheeses 【for】 long time, people maybe consider to experience the new tastes. We absent 【are absent 】 confidence to guarantee that the domestic cheese can continue keeping hot situation【in the future】.

The second fallacy of the argument is that the arguer cites a false study conducted by Cheeses of the World magazine to substantiate the assumption used in the argument. In the argument, the arguer fails to offer us the exact number of the people being investigated,【the percentage of the resposendents多少人接受调查,还要有多少人回应】 the age of those people and relative characteristics【这个是什么意思？】. And the survey fail【fails】 to provide any data about the percentage of respondents.  Therefore, the survey used in the argument can not represent 【of】the truth in the reality due to the possibility of lacking large number of sampling【samples】 and random【randomly】 sampling. As a result, the conclusion of the argument 【is】absent credibility.

Another problem with the argument is that the arguer draws a hasty conclusion  about discontinuing the supply of imported cheeses and only offering domestic  cheese for the publics.  This argument fails to take account into the circumstances of selling domestic and imported cheeses separately【the distinctive circumstance】. Perhaps even if the people have the increasing tendency【favorite】 for inclining the domestic cheeses, the profits the company earn from imported cheeses accounts up【account for 】 the majority of percentage and from over【overweight】 domestic. Therefore, if the company suspends the varieties of imported cheese, the company would【might】 lost much money. Moreover, even if the region the newest store locates in enjoy best-selling about domestic cheeses, the arguer can not conclude that the all region through the whole United States can also share the same situation. Perhaps, people living in nearby the newest store are custom to eat【eating】 the domestic 【products】and have the traditional culture【吃国产奶酪还有传统风俗？】. In contrast, in the rest of regions people【might】 decline the taste of domestic cheeses. Finally, the arguer ignores the factors relates 【relating】the profits, because many aspects【such as】, including costs in transport【transportation】, raw material, staff【wage】 and so forth. Yet, owing to several 【other】competitive companies sell domestic cheeses, in order to hold the consumer【consumers】, the price of domestic cheeses is very low, and only just cover its costs【这个是什么意思？因为有竞争，所以国产奶酪价格低。但低价不代表不盈利。可以说竞争激烈，利润空间小。】.

To, sum up, the argument is hardly convincing because of the above fallacies. To, firmly support the argument, the arguer should make a more thorough consideration.【这个结尾可以再拓展一下】

总结：语法错误比较多。但论证的思路还是比较清楚。多练习。