Ares战队第一次作业 Issue51

veinardUID: 2195006

ISSUE51 - "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."

提纲：
第一段：提出论点 balance the relationship of education effective and individual’s conditions
第二段：指出individual’s needs and interests 对教育的影响
第三段：为个人兴趣的需要设计的教育的弊端
第四段：这种教育缺乏可行性，moral and character education也很重要
结尾：  总结

Education is vital to a nation because young people are our tomorrow. Their qualities directly influence the development direction of a nation. Education's effect should be paid much attention, it relates to students’ needs and interests in some extent, but too much emphasis on the interests and needs of individual will influence the effect and even be detrimental. We must find the balance between the education and the individual's condition.

I agree insofar as that individual's interest and needs influence the effect of education in a relatively great extant. If students feel interesting with the contents of the education, they will have more passion and energy to study them and may get good effect. Young students' interests are especially important to the effect of education because the children's attention is difficult to concentrate for a long time and they are easy to feel boring with the study. Different needs of different students also should be considered when we design the contents of education. Some students have high ability to analyze and calculate, but relatively not very sensitive to the arts. So teachers should cultivate their interests with arts and teach these students the efficient ways to study them. In a word, the interests and needs of students can influence the effect of education in some extent.

However, the effect of education is not only decided by the interests and needs of each student. If we concentrate on their individual needs and interests to an extreme degree, they will only learn the knowledge they needs or be interested in, such knowledge is apparently too little and their view of the world will be very narrow. Students who are educated in this way certainly have low ability, thus they are not useful to the society. In addition, the knowledge which the students are interested in may not be useful for their individual development or even detrimental to their growth. For example, many boys are interest in the computer games. If the education only pays attention to their interests and teach them how to play the games, it may make the boys indulge in the virtual world. Every sensible people will feel such education very ludicrous. So, only concentrate on the needs and interest of students, the education will not receive significant effect.

Moreover, the education which only concentrates on individuals' needs and interests has too little feasibility. Students have different characters and experience, so they have various needs and interests. There is not such a teacher can find out all the needs and interests of his each student, let alone design a education project to meet their complex needs and interests. Besides, the moral and character education is independent not only to each student but also to the whole society. Such education is not arranged by the interests and needs of students. Martin Luther King once said that the goal of true education is intelligence plus character. It's to the point. I think not many students are interested in the moral and character education, but we absolutely should not get rid of such education as its vital significance.

In sum, education should not only pay attention to the interests and needs of individuals. Instead of concentrating on the individual’s interest and needs extremely, we should cultivate the interests of students and find their collective needs. The education with too much attention paid to the individuals' condition will not receive the planned effect, and the students who are educated in that way will have low quantity and cannot meet the needs of society.

感想：这个题目的论点比较好展开，但是著名的例子很难找，只能用身边的例子。
TIME 50min+10min
WORDS 590

gamblerboUID: 2212217

Ares战队第一次作业 Issue51

ISSUE51 - "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."

提纲：
第一段：提出论点 balance the relationship of education effective and individual’s conditions
第二段：指出individual’s needs and interests 对教育的影响
第三段：为个人兴趣的需要设计的教育的弊端
第四段：这种教育缺乏可行性，moral and character education也很重要
结尾：  总结

Education is vital to a nation because young people are our tomorrow. Their qualities directly influence the development direction of a nation. Education's effect should be paid much attention, it relates to students’ needs and interests in some extent, but too much emphasis on the interests and needs of individual will influence the effect and even be detrimental. We must find the balance between the education and the individual's condition.
[论点很好。要注意句子之间的衔接（逻辑关系，句意转换以及句式等等）。]
I agree insofar as that individual's interest and needs influence the effect of education in a relatively great extant. [1] If students feel interesting with the contents of the education, they will have more passion and energy to study them and may get good effect. [2] Young students' interests are especially important to the effect of education because the children's attention is difficult to concentrate for a long time and they are easy to feel boring with the study. [3] Different needs of different students also should be considered when we design the contents of education. Some students have high ability to analyze and calculate, but relatively not very sensitive to the arts. So teachers should cultivate their interests with arts and teach these students the efficient ways to study them. [注意支持中心句或论点。你的此论据不能支持此段论点，建议用在后面部分。] In a word, the interests and needs of students can influence the effect of education in some extent.
[在1，2，3处插入一些连词会怎么样？]
However, the effect of education is not only decided by the interests and needs of each student. If we concentrate on their individual needs and interests to an extreme degree, they will only learn the knowledge they needs or be interested in, such knowledge is apparently too little and their view of the world will be very narrow. Students who are educated in this way certainly have low ability, thus they are not useful to the society. In addition, the knowledge which the students are interested in may not be useful for their individual development or even detrimental to their growth. For example, many boys are interest in the computer games. If the education only pays attention to their interests and teach them how to play the games, it may make the boys indulge in the virtual world. Every sensible people will feel such education very ludicrous. So, only concentrate on the needs and interest of students, the education will not receive significant effect.
[很不错的一段论证！]
Moreover, the education which only concentrates on individuals' needs and interests has too little feasibility. Students have different characters and experience, so they have various needs and interests. There is not such a teacher can find out all the needs and interests of his each student, let alone design a education project to meet their complex needs and interests. Besides, the moral and character education is independent not only to each student but also to the whole society. Such education is not arranged by the interests and needs of students. Martin Luther King once said that the goal of true education is intelligence plus character. It's to the point. [Really？] I think not many students are interested in the moral and character education, but we absolutely should not get rid of such education as its vital significance.

In sum, education should not only pay attention to the interests and needs of individuals. Instead of concentrating on the individual’s interest and needs extremely, we should cultivate the interests of students [ to which …] and find their collective needs [to satisfy the social ]. The education with too much attention paid to the individuals' condition will not receive the planned effect, and the students who are educated in that way will have low quantity and cannot meet the needs of society.

[建议调换最后一段的句子次序:
In sum, education should not only pay attention to the interests and needs of individuals.
The education with too much attention paid to the individuals' condition will not receive the planned effect, and the students who are educated in that way will have low quantity and cannot meet the needs of society.
Instead of concentrating on the individual’s interest and needs extremely, we should cultivate the interests of students and find their collective needs.
]

感想：这个题目的论点比较好展开，但是著名的例子很难找，只能用身边的例子。
TIME 50min+10min
WORDS 590

个人感想：
1，        论点，论证，论据都不错。一看就知道是“练”过的。：）
2，        Issue方面，我才刚刚起步，提不出太多的实质性的建议，抱歉！
3，        个人感觉有些论据和论点之间的逻辑性差了一点。例如：Martin Luther King
4，        正文部分很不错。结尾有点草率。呼应不够，总结不全面。

expire7UID: 2160574

LZ请修改一下你的发帖格式吧，置顶贴里面有的。
这样才方便自己和别人检索阿，谢谢。

[ 本帖最后由 expire7 于 2006-6-23 16:09 编辑 ]