Argument153 【黄金十二宫】

永远的圣者UID: 2182901

TOPIC: ARGUMENT153 - The following is from an editorial in the Midvale Observer, a local newspaper.

"Ever since the 1950's, when television sets began to appear in the average home, the rate of crimes committed by teenagers in the country of Alta has steadily increased. This increase in teenage crime parallels the increase in violence shown on television. According to several national studies, even very young children who watch a great number of television shows featuring violent scenes display more violent behavior within their home environment than do children who do not watch violent shows. Furthermore, in a survey conducted by the Observer, over 90 percent of the respondents were parents who indicated that prime-time television-programs that are shown between 7 p.m. and 9 p.m.-should show less violence. Therefore, in order to lower the rate of teenage crime in Alta, television viewers should demand that television programmers reduce the amount of violence shown during prime time."

In this argument, the author advises to reduce the amount of violence shown during prime time so as to lower the rate of teenage crime. Though the original attention is conscientious and kind, some unconvincing flaws exist to baffle us from accepting his opinion.

First of all, the arguer fail to convince us by illuminating that the violence show on TV is the main cause of teenage crime. We can easily make other examples of the sources of violence, e.g. Internet, magazines, newspapers, or advertisements. The teenagers in the town can easily see the violence scene from these sources and the TV may only strengthen the idea of violence. It is equally possible they may contact with violence from their parents or friends. The abuse from the parents and fighting with the peer are more direct violence sources. And these kinds of sources are more likely to influence on the teenagers as the young are apt to receive simple and straight thought.

The mere fact that very young children are more likely to display more violent shows is insufficient evidence that they may commit more teenage crimes. The children are likely to mimic, the display of violence is the same act they mimic walking and running. They are able to be regulated their action when they grow a little bit older and are conscious with the morality and ethics. And thus can hardly conclude that they will do crime after they grow up. The bleeding and death or the jail life of the criminals in the shows, on the contrary, may alarm them that crime is dangerous, and may cause tremendous loss.

Further more, the advice that just reducing the amount of violence shown during prime time can be groundless. The teenagers may receive much more violent ideas from shows in non-prime time than those played in prime time. For instance, restricted shows are often played in the mid-night; if the parents are unable to prevent the children from watching them, then the partial reduction may do little to maintain the author’s expectation.

To sum up, the author gives not enough information that what cause the problem of crime. To strengthen the idea, the evaluation of the effect of violence sources and the real cause of crime should be introduced.

bhnUID: 2177959

写得不错，没什么好改的。只是还有一个问题你没有提到：就是关于调查的，没有说明respondents 占全部调查人数的比例，可能很多人对此没有兴趣，所以没有回答。

永远的圣者UID: 2182901

好不容易bhn赞一次啊
（又想到了我不争气的Issue）