Issue17 以及其他,偶第一次写作文,欢迎来拍!

ketchupUID: 2182553

issue17

1。社会需要法律，为了社会安定，无论在个人看来公正与否都应该遵守。
2。公正与否因人而异，法律只代表一个阶层的利益，而很难代表全体公民的利益，所以对于不同的人就有相对不公正的法律，一味的违抗自认为不公正的法律，就没有公正的法律可以遵守了，所有的人都在违法,社会就会乱了套，法律也就根本不存在了。
3。存在既是真理，一项法律的存在总有它的道理，法律存在的定义就是遵守，不遵守就要付刑事责任，给自己带来影响，失去自己所拥有的利益。
4。随着时间推移，法律的使用性在不断改变，原本公正的法律也会变的不公正，人们若坚持总是一味反抗法律，生活会被搅乱。
5。完美的法律根本不存在,因为各种各样的历史文化原因,它总有一定的局限性,需要改进,但是决不是打倒推翻,而是通过正规合法的渠道。
6。总结，什么法律都要遵守。

Law, the rules of a nation which identifies justice and fairness, has always doubted by people of different fields. Even in the contemporary democratic nations, there are still some so-called unjust laws which people are not willing to obey. However, although it is natural for a person to curse an unjust law, a citizen should not be encouraged to disobey or resist a law even if it is unjust, because such behaviours will always cause chaos.

To begin with, the existence of something has its own reasons, or there would not be something. The law were produced to be obeyed as the regulation of the society and the nation. No matter the law is just or not, citizens have to follow it, or they will take the responsibilities of their broken-law behaviors, such as being send to the prison, financial penalties and so on. A wise person who don not want to get trouble will be never against the law, for he or she may lose what they had already have. Just like a murderer lost the respect from public and happiness from the family. Therefore, as a citizen, persons should always obey the laws no matter it is just or unjust.

It is also worth mentioning that people's opinion varied from each other. They also have different views toward laws.  Everyone has his or her own standards for the so-called just law, since the law only represent the interest of a certain group of people. There exists no such law that is absolutely just for everyone. It is highly possible that those who are excluded from that group of people will feel the law not just for them.  If it is a good way for a society to get rid of the bad laws by allowing its people to disobey the laws they think not equal, there will only be a mess since every law can be resisted by any group of people. And the word “law” won’t make sense any more.

Furthermore, as the time passed, the justness of the law changes. Those laws that used to be just turn to unjust. This is an inevitable trend. So it is more and more difficult to define whether the law is just or unjust. If people keep working on resist laws, there will be nothing else people can do. People's lives will be ruid by those changing laws.

Actually, there never be a perfect law in this world. Because of many history or culture reasons, the law can hardly be perfect for everyone. However, both citizens and government have the intension to make it better. There are regular and legal way to improve those unperfect laws. We can present the drawbacks or objections of unjust laws on the People's Congress or in any other law-abiding ways, but not disobey and resist the laws. As long as we have a capable legislation system, in which people’s opinions are collected and considered, we can easily have our needs meet and at least considered by the law.

To draw a conclusion, people should not always disobey and resist laws blindly though it is unjust and find a proper way to improve it.  

issue36

1。当代人和后人都能决定
2。不可否认，相当多数的人在当时的社会发挥着重要的作用。
3。相比之下，后人能够更加客观和准确的从历史的角度判断前人对社会的影响。
4。两种人都能评定个人的伟大是基于不同因素。
5。总结。

In the history of the human society, many people have their influence for the development of this society. Some of their achievements not only are great in their contemporary community but also have great effect to the future development. While others who seemed to be nobody at that time contribute much to next generations. In a word, the greatness of individuals can be both decided by both the contemporary persons and people who live after them.

To begin with, nobody cannot deny that numbers of people play important roles in their contemporary society, especially those politicians. Most government leaders and politicians effect the society no matter positively or negtively. It is their job to make the decision for the whole country and society. Their ideas and thoughts directly determine the process of the development of the society. Therefore, people at contemporary time can clearly see how great those people are and what they have done for contributing the people and society. The second chairman of People's Republic China Deng Xiaoping is a good illustration. His political plan of reforming and opening to the outside world showed the hope of rich to Chinese people. Chinese people were led to the road of wealth by his reforms. He was always highly respected as a designer of the nation at that time by the public.

Compared with contemporary people, persons who live after the great individuals can judge them more fairly without hesitations. On one hand, they won't be influenced by the public or press. There is a trend of following others rooted in people's heart. People usually think as others and speak as others.  They don't want to be too extrordinary to be accept. Besides, some of their opinions are not allowed to be presented by the law or government's power. Therefore, when they judge a great individual, their personal ideas are limited by publics. On the contrary, people who live after them don't deed to consider those complex situatuions. Since they are not in the same generation, there is no worry about what they say and how they think about the past individuals. On the other hand, some greatness of individuals can only be decided by the followers. The greatness may need time to verify.  some of the behaviors and measures have far-reaching impacts on the progress of human civilization and the complete comments should be made after considering the future effects. For instance, many accomplished artists and innovative inventors have been regarded as pagans and get nothing but ridicule at that time, but some of the works and inventions proved to be priceless and have profound effects on the human culture and technology. The longer the time have passed, the clearer we can see about the person. Those things which had been regarded as valueless may be valueable in the futuer. Time is the best tool to decide the value. Therefore, the follower may have a juster view of the historical individuals' greatness.

Both contemporary people and next generation people can decide the greatness of individuals. On the one hand, comments of contemporary people towards the celebrities have always made by their own personal experience. On the other hand, people live after the great persons have the opportunity to attain the more objective and complete views on the basis of all the efforts made by their forefathers.

In sum, the opinion that only those who live after one individual can they decide the greatness of him is groundless. The long term effects and the short term effects are decided respectively by people live after the great persons and those who existed at the same era with the celebrities. Therefore, both contemporary people and the offspring’s are have the capability to decide the greatness of those great persons.

issue11

1。建这样的全球性大学很有意义。
2。世界上有很 都问题需要国际见的合作才能解决，着类大学可以鼓励人们及其国家参与到国际合作之中来。
3。因为各国情况不同，会有分歧，从而导致战争或者其他问题，这类大学可以提供各国交流的机会去了解彼此，互相学习解决问题。
4。但是，建立一个全球性大学也面临很多挑战去问题。要有资金，要互相尊重等。
5。总结。

Nowadays all nations influence each other and contact more and more closely than ever before.  With the trend of globalization, an increasing number of social problems between nations exists frequently. Therefore it is meaningful for all nations to cooperate together and establish a global university where teachers and students from all over the world are engaged to solve the persistent social problems of the world.

To begin with, it is not surprice to find that different nations have mutual problems, and these problems need nations' cooperation to be solved. Such as environmental pollution, terrorism, energy crisis, and so on. Facing these global issues, only one or two nations can hardly work out all the problems, for they can only deal with their own country and cannot interfere other nations' policy. Therefore a global university, a institution where gifted people from all over the world are engaged, is needed to hold the responsibility to appeal every nation to work together. Such university can gather the scattered efforts and studies around the world by providing a professional and united circumstance in which students can devote themselves to the process of studying and ultimately solving these worldly persistent social problems. Since the people have studied here, they will also influence much in their own nation to cooperate with others on these global issues.

In addition, nations views on one issue always varies because their different social and cultural background. Even there may be some conflicts between nations, for they hold diferent interest or have different religious believes. However, a global university provides them a place to communicate to solve those persistent problems between them. The circumstance in global university includes different culture and knowledge from various countries. Students from everywhere can receive the all-round education on many aspects. They get to know and understand other countries, so that they can minor the conflicts between them. On the other hand, comparisions and understanding between the social problem situations in different nations may be helpful and instructive for some country to learn from each other, and improvement or amendment can be made in legislation or any other fields of the nation. Global university is a wonderful opportunity for learning.

However, establishing this kind of university is not a easy task. There are also many challenges. First of all, such a global university asks for the support from all nations of the world. Not only financial support is needed, but also intellectural investment and willingness to cooperate are needed in greater demands. Secongdly, different social background results different views, people in this university should repect others choice and keep rational on others' opinion. The religion and politics aspects should be avoided for the balance between nations. At last, the university should always take great pains to absorb all kinds of informations from every country, in order to update its teaching resources.

In sum, a global university for the study of the world’s persistent sociel problems is the appealing of human beings. It will contribute to the peace of the world. Every nation should take part in and put aside the hostility or indifference, and share task with others.

[ 本帖最后由 ketchup 于 2006-7-15 10:30 编辑 ]

ketchupUID: 2182553

argument 53

1。并没有证据显示melatonin的增加就导致了婴儿的焦虑和紧张。首先，它影响大脑，但不见得就是这方面，也可以是记忆力等其他功能。其次，melatonin的增加是因为日照的减少，那秋天并不是melatonin的增加最多的时候啊，而应该是冬天吧。
2。无法证明早期的紧张就是长大后害羞的原因，还有可能是其他原因导致了长大后的害羞。
3。25个婴儿没有说服力。另外他们只长到青少年，无法证明在以后的日子里也同样害羞。

In this arguement, the author concludes that increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.To support the conclusion, the author points out that the infants who were studied were born in early autmn, the time their mothers produce the melatonnin. However, this arguement suffers from several critical fallacies.

First of all, the author unfairly concludes that in the early autumn mothers' increased melatonin caused babies' signs of mild distress.On the one hand, although the melatonin affect some brain functions, it does not mean that it brings about the shyness and distress. It is highly possible that it influence infants memory, reading and seeing ability, or some other functions, but not only the shyness. On the other hand,  there is no evidence shows that the early autumn is the only time mothers' melatonin increase. Since the production of melatonin is caused by the decreased daylight, it should increase much more in winter than autumn. However, it is hardly to find any evidence proved that winter-born baby showed signs of distress. Therefore, the author cannot confidently conclude that the increased melatonin caused infants' distress to unfamiliar stimuli.

Moreover, the author commits that the infants who showed signs of mild distress will be shy when they grow up. However, the author provides no evidence in the arguement to support this assumption, nor does he establish a causal relationship between the signs of mild distress during the infancy and the shyness during their later lives. Many other factors might contribute to the later shyness, such as violence experience, lack of family affaction and so on. Lacking evidence that links early mild distress and later shyness, it is presumptuous to suggest that the signs of disress during infancy is responsible for shyness in adulthood.

In addition, the evidence the author provides is insufficient to support the conclusion draw from it. 25 infants is rarely sufficient to establish a general conclusion. Based on a specific example of infants, it is logically unsounded to make suggestion for all infants. Besides, in the follow-up study the studied infants are only teenagers now, it can hardly proves that their shyness will continue into later life. At last, the judge of signs of mild distress differs from different people or in different conditions. There is no standard of infants'' behavior of distress.

As it stands, this arguement is not well reasoned. To make it more persuasive, the author needs to demonstrate that melatonin is the mere factor of shyness and early mild distress have some sound relationship with shyness in later life.

[ 本帖最后由 ketchup 于 2006-7-15 10:41 编辑 ]

ketchupUID: 2182553

issue 152

Corporate executives should take more responsibilities than simply staying within the law and making money.
1. Admittedly, corporate executives should make every effort to increase the profits of their companies, so that this enterprise can survive in this competetive society. Money is the basic support of a company.
2. Besides making as much money as possible, corporate executives should be aware of businesses’ social responsibilities. Environment/Taxation and some other duties.
3. Taking some social responsibilities will benefit companies in the long run. Taking responsibilities can bring a great reputation of the company, not only to the government, but also the public. An enterprise likes a peoson. A decent impression of a person brings him others' repect and affection. A nice impression of a company earn more profits.

issue 7

Video camara takes an important role in people's lives on recording, but written records has its own position that cannot be replaced.
1.A video provides a more objective and accurate record of an event's spatial aspects. When we are reporting the news, it is more suitable to use video camara, because it shows audiences the direct and clear image of the events.
2.Written records is also very indispendable and have its own advantages that video camara cannot replace. This method of recording things brings readers more emotional fellings and imagenary spaces.
3.It is people's freedom to choose which way to record their lives in different situations.

issue 136

Agree.There always be choices for eveyone in every conditions.
1.Everyone has the instinct to choose. Everyday people choose thing they need, such as food, water and some common thing. All bahaviors are based on people's choice. Choices are everywhere.
2.Some saying that they have no choice is not actually true, because people just haven't seen the hiden or potential choices. As the development of the society, people were provided more opportunities to choose, whether on their spiritual or physical needs.
3.However, nothing can be achieved without people's hardship. Sometimes opportunities were made by ourselves. As long as people strive, they can achieve more choices
Conclusion, the absence of choice is a rare circunstance,since not only the society can provide choice for us, but also we can achieve it by ourselves.

argument 177

1.There is no evidence that people who work in Oak City but who live elsewhere cannot truly understand the business and politics of the city.
2.No evidence showed that restricting membership in this way is unlikely to disappoint many of the nonresidents employed in Oak City. They may lose their enthusiam on work in Oak city.
3.The author made a false analogy between two cities.

argument 163

1.Employing more people to construte new hall, and purchasing new equipments might cost more than before
2.Costing less per square foot to heat and cool than the old hall doesn't mean it will spend less total expend,since the whole area of the hall increased.
3.There is no assurance that someone will hire the hall, some space may be wasted.

argument 45

1.The arguer simply assumes that the global warming has caused the sea ice melt , but he does not provide any evidence that the ice over the sea in Canada's arctic region was melt too .
2.Other reasons may contribute to the decline in deer populations, but not because of the global warming.
3.No evidence showed that deers cannot move over the melting ice. And without moving they may also can find food.
4.The local hunters' report may not be accurate.

pewcg8UID: 2143213

发贴的格式

ketchupUID: 2182553

怎么了?

runningpiggyUID: 194977

请看这个贴子。。然后自己修改一下。。

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

ketchupUID: 2182553

不好意思，新手初来乍到，我已经改了，不知道还有什么问题不？谢谢指点谢谢关注！

renliyunUID: 2209571

issue17
要记得写提纲啊 ：）

Law, the rules(rule) of a nation which identifies justice and fairness, has( been)always doubted by people of different fields. Even in the contemporary democratic nations, there are still some so-called unjust laws which people are not willing to obey. However, although (重复了哦 )it is natural for a person to curse an unjust law, a citizen should not be encouraged to disobey or resist a law even if it is unjust, because such behaviours will always cause chaos.

To begin with, the existence of something has its own reasons, or there would not be something（这句感觉很别扭or it would never be preasent ）. The law were （is）produced to be obeyed as the regulation of the society and the nation. No matter the law is just or not, citizens have to follow it, or they will take the responsibilities of their broken-law behaviors, such as being send to the prison, financial penalties and so on. A wise person who don（does） not want to get trouble will be never against the law, for he or she may lose what they had （可以不用）already have. Just like a murderer lost the respect from public and happiness from the family. Therefore, as a citizen（citizens）, persons should always obey the laws no matter it is just or unjust.（这一段是说从个人 利益的层面来说，明智的人不会去违背法律，人们对法律 的态度应该是绝对的遵守，引用的例证是谋杀犯的不幸，可是谋杀犯与对不公正法律的抵抗之间没有必然的联系，举例不够有力，这毛病我经常犯， 呵呵：））

It is also worth mentioning that people's opinion（opinions） varied from each other. They also have different views toward laws.  Everyone has his or her own standards for the so-called just law, since they  only represent the interest of a certain group of people. There exists no such law that is absolutely just for everyone. It is highly possible that those who are excluded from that group of people will feel the law not just for them.  If it is a good way for a society to get rid of the bad laws by allowing its people to disobey the laws they think not equal（这句话好像不太通顺而且law也不能用bad来形容）, there will only be a mess since every law can be resisted by any group of people. And the word “law” won’t make sense any more.（这一段是说法律对不同的 人所具有的公平含义不同，对法律的抵抗只能引起混乱，用了推理的可式，一步步来说明，也有适当的假设，可是我觉得再加一点具体的例子会更有说服力）

Furthermore, as the time passed, the justness of the law changes. Those laws that used to be just turn to unjust. This is an inevitable trend. So it is more and more difficult to define whether the law is just or unjust. If people keep working on resist laws, there will be nothing else people can do. People's lives will be ruid （ruined）by those changing laws. （还是例子的问题，而且这一段似乎字数有一点少了）

Actually, there never be a perfect law in this world. Because of many history or culture reasons, the law can hardly be perfect for everyone. However, both citizens and government have the intension to make it better. There are regular and legal way to improve those unperfect laws. We can present the drawbacks or objections of unjust laws on the People's Congress or in any other law-abiding ways, but not disobey and resist the laws. 【As long as we have a capable legislation system, in which people’s opinions are collected and considered, we can easily have our needs meet and at least considered by the law.】（这句好像不太通，有点不懂其含义）

To draw a conclusion, people should not always disobey and resist laws blindly though it is unjust and（but表转折的意思吧）find a proper way to improve it.  （结尾太短了，可能把以上的理由稍微的总结一下会比较完整一点）
总的来说文章写的逻辑性比较强，但是举例方面不太有力（和我一样，呵呵）如果再在文章中加入一些比较令人信服的例子文章会更有力，字数好像有一点点少了，而且个语言也要在加强一点，这问题也很普遍啦，所以大家都要加油啊
issue36

In the history of the human society, many people have their influence for（可以用influced直接代替吧） the development of this society. Some of their achievements not only are（are not only great） great in their contemporary community but also have great effect to the future development. While others (somebody)who seemed to be nobody at that time contribute much to next generations. In a word, the greatness of individuals can be both decided by both(两个both重复了) the contemporary persons and people who live after them.

To begin with, nobody cannot（逻辑错误can） deny that numbers of people play important roles in their contemporary society, especially those politicians. Most government leaders and politicians effect（affect） the society no matter positively or negtively（negatively）. It is their job to make the decision for the whole country and society. Their ideas and thoughts directly determine the process of the development of the society. Therefore, people at contemporary time can clearly see how great those people are and what they have done for contributing（to） the people and society. The second chairman of People's Republic China Deng Xiaoping is a good illustration. His political plan of reforming and  to the outside world showed the hope of rich to Chinese people. Chinese people were led to the road of wealth by his reforms. He was always highly respected as a designer of the nation at that time by the public.（例子举得很恰当而且有说服力，语言方面还需要好好润饰一下）

Compared with contemporary people, persons who live after the great individuals can judge them more fairly without hesitations. On one hand, they won't be influenced by the public or press. There is a trend of following others rooted in people's heart. People usually think as （一般情况下like后加词as后加句子）others and speak as others.  They don't want to be too extrordinary（extraordinary） to be accept（accepted）. Besides, some of their opinions are not allowed to be presented by the law or government's power. Therefore, when they judge（evaluate改为评价更好一点吧） a great individual, their personal ideas are limited by publics. On the contrary, people who live after them don't deed （need）to consider those complex situatuions. Since they are not in the same generation, there is no worry about what they say and how they think about the past individuals. On the other hand, some greatness of individuals can only be decided by the followers. The greatness may need time to verify.（把这句改成长句会更出采）  some of the behaviors and measures have far-reaching impacts on the progress of human civilization and the complete comments should be made after considering the future effects. For instance, many accomplished artists and innovative inventors have been regarded as pagans （？）and get nothing but ridicule at that time, but some of the works and inventions proved to be priceless and have profound effects on the human culture and technology. The longer the time have passed, the clearer we can see about the person. Those things which had been regarded as valueless may be valueable in the futuer. Time is the best tool to decide the value. Therefore, the follower may have a juster view of the historical individuals' greatness.这一段很有层次，不过可以试着精简一点

Both contemporary people and next generation people can decide the greatness of individuals. On the  one hand, comments of contemporary people towards the celebrities have always made by their own personal experience（experiences）. On the other hand, people live after the great persons have the opportunity to attain the more objective and complete views on the basis of all the efforts made by their forefathers.

In sum, the opinion that only those who live after one individual can they（they省略） decide the greatness of him is groundless. The long term effects and the short term effects are decided respectively by people live after the great persons and those who existed at the same era with the celebrities. Therefore, both contemporary people and the offspring’s are have the capability to decide the greatness of those great persons.（后两端可以考虑合并，否则会显得有些单薄）
段落的字数分配有问题中间第三段比起其他几段显得有些长，倒数一二段又有点短，并且第三段的举例
不够有力，语言方面还要在精练一些
issue11

Nowadays all nations influence each other and contact more and more closely than ever before.  With the trend of globalization, an increasing number of social problems between nations exists（exit） frequently. Therefore it is meaningful for all nations to cooperate together and establish a global university where teachers and students from all over the world are engaged to solve the persistent social problems of the world.

To begin with, it is not surprice（surprise） to find that different nations have mutual problems, and these problems need nations' cooperation to be solved. Such as environmental pollution, terrorism, energy crisis, and so on. Facing these global issues, only one or two nations can hardly work out all the problems, for（because） they can only deal with their own country and cannot interfere other nations' policy（policies）. Therefore a global university, a institution where gifted people from all over the world are engaged（这句读得挺不顺的，调整一下吧）, is needed to hold the responsibility to appeal every nation to work together. Such university can gather the scattered efforts and studies around the world by providing a professional and united circumstance in which students can devote themselves to the process of studying and ultimately solving （solve，and连接两个并列的成分）these worldly persistent social problems. Since the people have studied here, they will also influence much in their own nation to cooperate with others on these global issues.（举例太泛了）

In addition, nations（nations‘） views on one issue always varies because their different social and cultural background. Even there may be some conflicts between nations, for （because）they hold diferent interest （interests）or have different religious believes. However, a global university provides them a place to communicate to solve those persistent problems between them. The circumstance in global university includes different culture （s）and knowledge（s） from various countries. Students from everywhere can receive the all-round education on many aspects. They get to know and understand other countries, so that they can minor the conflicts between them. On the other hand, comparisions and understanding between the social problem situations in different nations may be helpful and instructive for some country （ies）to learn from each other, and improvement or amendment can be made in legislation or any other fields of the nation. Global university is a wonderful opportunity for learning.（把这句改成长句）

However, establishing this kind of university is not a easy task. There are also many challenges. First of all, such a global university asks for （requires）the support from all nations of the world. Not only financial support is needed, but also intellectural investment and willingness to cooperate 【are needed】（省略） in greater demands（这个短语感觉不是很顺口）. Secongdly, different social background results different views（这句写得好）, people in this university should repect others choice （s）and keep rational on others' opinion（s）. The religion and politics aspects should be avoided for the balance between nations. At last, the university should always take great pains to absorb all kinds of informations from every country, in order to update its teaching resources.

In sum, a global university for the study of the world’s persistent sociel（social） problems is the appealing of human beings（应该是is appealing）. It will contribute to the peace of the world. （换成长句啊）Every nation should take part in and put aside the hostility or indifference, and share task with others
如果在文章中加入更多的长句会更好，有些语言给人感觉不是很顺，这一篇的字数也有点少了，不一下啊文章的逻辑性很强，要好好学习啊：）

renliyunUID: 2209571

word

renliyunUID: 2209571

word 连接

renliyunUID: 2209571

argument 53

In this arguement, the author concludes that increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.To support the conclusion, the author points out that the infants who were studied（其实可以不要处处都用定从的 啊 ） were born in early autmn, the time their mothers produce the melatonnin（这一句可以再润饰一下啊 加上increased）. However, this arguement suffers from several critical fallacies.

First of all, the author unfairly  concludes that in the early autumn mothers' increased melatonin caused babies' signs of mild distress.On the one hand, although the melatonin affect(affects ) some brain functions, it does not mean that it brings about the shyness and distress. It is highly possible that it influence(influences) infants(infants’) memory, reading and seeing ability, or some other functions, but not only(逻辑错误啊是不是误写了only) the shyness. On the other hand,  there is no evidence shows that the early autumn is the only time mothers' melatonin increase. Since the production of melatonin is caused by the decreased daylight, it should increase much more in winter than autumn.（这一段论证我感觉很好很有力）However, it is hardly to find any evidence proved（to prove） that winter-born baby showed signs of distress. Therefore, the author cannot confidently conclude that the increased melatonin caused infants' distress to unfamiliar stimuli.(这一段的论证很有力，这个理由我都没有想到啊 呵呵 佩服)

Moreover, the author commits that the infants who showed signs of mild distress will be shy when they grow up. However, the author provides no evidence in the arguement to support this assumption, nor does he establish a causal relationship between the signs of mild distress during the infancy and the shyness during their later lives. Many other factors might contribute to the later shyness, such as violence experience（experiences）, lack（lackness） of family affaction （affection）and so on. Lacking evidence that links early mild distress and later shyness, it is presumptuous（这个词好像更倾向于表达专横的意思吧） to suggest that the signs of disress during infancy is （are）responsible for shyness in adulthood.
这一段论证再详细一点比较好

In addition, the evidence the author provides is insufficient to support the conclusion （to）draw from it. 25 infants is rarely sufficient to establish a general conclusion. Based on a specific example of infants, it is logically unsounded（这个词用的不错啊 ） to make suggestion for all infants. Besides, in the follow-up study the studied infants are only teenagers now, it can hardly proves（prove）that their shyness will continue into later life. At last, the judge of signs of mild distress differs from different people or in （under）different conditions. 【There is no standard of infants'' behavior of distress】（这句好像读的不太顺啊 ）.

As it stands, this arguement is not well reasoned. To make it more persuasive, the author needs to demonstrate that melatonin is the mere factor of shyness and early mild distress have some sound relationship with shyness in later life.（结尾有点短了再详细一点比较好）
这一片文章的几个所列举的几个理由很充分，而且都是比较好论证的理由，很值得学习啊 ，呵呵：）
不过有些语言还是要再润饰一下，句子组织也要注意一下哦：）


issue 152

Corporate executives should take more responsibilities than simply staying within the law and making money.（提纲好像用中文写吧）
1. Admittedly, corporate executives should make every effort to increase the profits of their companies, so that this enterprise can survive in this competetive society. Money is the basic support of a company.（要举例子）
2. Besides making as much money as possible, corporate executives should be aware of businesses’ social responsibilities. Environment/Taxation and some other duties.（好理由，我也写了，嘿嘿）
3. Taking some social responsibilities will benefit companies in the long run. Taking responsibilities can bring a great reputation of the company, not only to the government, but also the public. An enterprise likes a peoson. A decent impression of a person brings him others' repect and affection. A nice impression of a company earn more profits.
2 和3 段其实说的是同一点吧，个人感觉可以考虑合并啊

issue 7

Video camara takes an important role in people's lives on recording, but written records has its own position that cannot be replaced.
1.A video provides a more objective and accurate record of an event's spatial aspects. When we are reporting the news, it is more suitable to use video camara, because it shows audiences the direct and clear image of the events.
2.Written records is also very indispendable and have its own advantages that video camara cannot replace. This method of recording things brings readers more emotional fellings and imagenary spaces.
3.It is people's freedom to choose which way to record their lives in different situations.
理由比较充分啊 ，举例再详细一点

issue 136

Agree.There always be choices for eveyone in every conditions.
1.Everyone has the instinct to choose. Everyday people choose thing they need, such as food, water and some common thing. All bahaviors are based on people's choice. Choices are everywhere.
2.Some saying that they have no choice is not actually true, because people just haven't seen the hiden or potential choices. As the development of the society, people were provided more opportunities to choose, whether on their spiritual or physical needs.
3.However, nothing can be achieved without people's hardship. Sometimes opportunities were made by ourselves. As long as people strive, they can achieve more choices
Conclusion, the absence of choice is a rare circunstance,since not only the society can provide choice for us, but also we can achieve it by ourselves. 理由比较充分 ，举例再详细一点这篇个人感觉比较难写，所以总觉得会跑题。

argument 177

1.There is no evidence that people who work in Oak City but who live elsewhere cannot truly understand the business and politics of the city.
2.No evidence showed that restricting membership in this way is unlikely to disappoint many of the nonresidents employed in Oak City. They may lose their enthusiam（enthusiasm） on work in Oak city.
3.The author made a false analogy between two cities.（个人感觉，并不是城市间比较有问题而是非居民人数少并不能说明他们对入会不感兴趣）
最后一个理由再好好改一下吧

argument 163

1.Employing more people to construte （？）new hall, and purchasing new equipments might cost more than before
2.Costing less per square foot to heat and cool than the old hall doesn't mean it will spend less total expend,since the whole area of the hall increased.
3.There is no assurance that someone will hire（rent，人才能hire ） the hall, some space may be wasted.
理由列举的挺不错的
argument 45

1.The arguer simply assumes that the global warming has caused the sea ice melt , but he does not provide any evidence that the ice over the sea in Canada's arctic region was melt too .
2.Other reasons may contribute to the decline in deer populations, but not because of the global warming.
3.No evidence showed that deers cannot move over the melting ice. And without moving they may also can find food.
4.The local hunters' report may not be accurate.
这一篇相对容易，所以理由也比较好找啦，大功告成啦：）

renliyunUID: 2209571

有红笔标记的word连接

ketchupUID: 2182553

谢谢啦啊！修改的好仔细哦，拼写错误都找的好仔细，真是谢谢了啊！我改的时候都只注意了文章结构和逻辑性，下次一定修改的仔细些。而且看来自己的语言功底还不够呢，可是时间也不多了，也难得有很大的提高了，不过我会好好注意使用长句让文章更有文采些。谢谢指点！